*Charlotte POV*
"What?" I asked, my nine-year-old voice squeaking into a whine as my father held my hand in his own hands and told me I couldn't see my twin sister Cici, who was in the hospital battling ALL, a form of leukemia, at only nine years old.
"Charlotte-" Dad called after me, but I pulled away from him, running down the hall, my pale blonde hair swirling out behind me.
I threw myself on my bed and beat my fist on my pillow. "It's not fair!" I screamed over and over. I knew it wouldn't help but I couldn't help it. My frustration was bubbling up to the surface.
I felt so alone at that point. It felt like there was an empty void where Cici should have been. Something inside me whispered I wasn't alone but I pressed against it. I pushed it out of my mind. There was always someone telling me I wasn't alone. The truth? I was. My sister could die and I was alone. No one else understood. Part of me wanted to believe I wasn't alone, but the rest of me pushed against it.
I knew that the voice could only belong to God and I didn't want to hear Him. I'd grown up in a Christian home. My dad, Dr. Daniel Griffin was working on a device to test for hereditary cancers, like Cici, who had Hereditary Leukemia Syndrome, but was facing conflict from a man named Shane, so my dad brought in a lawyer, Tyler Cleveland, who supports him completely. His own daughters, twins Eva and Richelle were diagnosed with Li-Fraumeni Syndrome, another cancer disorder. Eva died from it three years ago and Richelle had been diagnosed with it a little under six months ago apparently.
"Charlotte," Mom said, coming in and resting her hand on my back.
"I want to see Cici," I said automatically.
Mom sighed. "I know you do, Char," Mom said. "I know you do." Mom fell silent and just kept rubbing my back.
"Mom, why can't I see Cici?" I asked.
"Honey, Cici's very sick-"
"Stop acting like I'm four years old!" I snapped.
Mom sighed. "Charlotte, please change your attitude. You know why we can't let you see Cici. Her leukemia destroys her white blood cells. She's extremely vulnerable to disease and with little to no white blood cells she has no means of fighting it off."
I nodded. I understood that, but even so, I couldn't stop missing her.
Red rimmed my mother's eyes. Before Cici went in the hospital, crying wasn't usual with my parents. After...well, they spent all of their energy trying to keep Cici alive, and didn't have any left for staying strong for me.
That was all I really wanted too. To keep Cici alive. I couldn't lose her. I'd lose myself if I ever lost Cici.
I sucked in a sharp breath and slowly breathed it out. Cici...
"I'm so sorry," Mom whispered to me, her arms around me. "I couldn't begin to guess how hard this is for you."
"It's hard," I whispered. "It's so hard."
*Sadie POV*
I breathed in the wonderful scent of Mrs. Wallace's freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Oh, I loved them so much. So fresh and hot and wonderful. She always baked cookies for our annual summer day camp. They smelled amazing.
"Oh my gosh," Jazmine sighed happily. "It smells so amazing here."
"Doesn't it," I said. "Absolutely heavenly."
"Mrs. Wallace is amazing at baking chocolate cookies," a voice said behind me. "And amazing at making me hungry."
I turned around, smiling to face a woman. She had an air of friendliness about her. She had kind, blue eyes, and blondish brown hair that brushed lightly against her shoulders. She was so pretty. I felt like I had seen her somewhere. But where...
"I've been told about you," the woman said. "Jazmine, Sierra, and Sadie, right?"
I was surprised she knew my name, given I didn't know hers.
"That's it," I said, smiling.
"It's very nice to meet you," she smiled. "I'm Lydia." She stuck out her hand to shake.
"You as well," we each said, taking turns shaking her hand.
Lydia turned her attention toward my mother. "Do you want coffee or anything?"
"No thank you," Mom said. "I think I'll be at the bookstore across the street if that's alright. How long do you think you'll be?"
"Of course," Lydia smiled politely. "I would suspect an hour or so."
"Perfect," Mom said. "Thank you so much for letting her help out. It's been a hard year with Richelle in and out of the hospital and I would rather Sadie not sit at home all day. This way she can help out and do it with friends."
"Of course," Lydia smiled. "How is Richelle, by the way?"
"She's in some pain," Mom said. "Her last chemo treatment for a month or so was a couple of weeks ago."
"That's good," Lydia said. "I'll be praying for her."
"Thank you," Mom said. "We really need it. I'll be leaving now. Sadie, call me when you're done if I'm not here."
"Yes ma'am," I nodded to her.
"Has Sierra told you about what's going to happen?"
"No," I shook my head.
"We need some workers in the music department," Lydia said. "What do you girls think?"
I looked at Jazmine and Sierra. We loved singing. "Yes!"
"That's great," Lydia said," As you know at least one-fourth of our congregation are people staying for a few months while they or a family member receives specialized medical care, being so close to the hospital."
She brought out a notebook and flipped it open, then showed it to us. It had a picture of each kid that was attending and some facts about each of them.
"Some of the kids don't even go to church," Lydia said. "They're just here because their parents need someone to watch them."
Sierra giggled and pointed to a brown-haired boy making a silly face.
"That's Gabriel," she said. "He loves superheroes and wears a cape every day to school. He's in Cynthia and Cecelia's class. He's so adorable."
"This is Lillian," Lydia pointed to a picture of a girl who had blonde hair draped over half of her face. "Her mom's having heart surgery. She's extremely shy. I'm hoping camp opens her up a little."
Charlotte's coming to camp?" Jazmine brushed lightly a page with her fingertips.
"Yes," Lydia said. "She hasn't said a word since the doctors stopped letting her see Cici. I hope camp isn't too much for her."
"Who are Charlotte and Cici?" I asked.
"Daniel Griffin's daughters," Jazmine said.
"Daniel's daughter has...cancer?" I asked. I knew one of them had cancer, but I didn't know they were so young. They were Eva's age when she was diagnosed with osteosarcoma, and Eva was far too young to deal with all of it.
"Childhood cancer runs in Daniel's family," Lydia said. "They have Hereditary Leukemia. Like it does in yours, Sadie."
"Charlotte and Cici are twins like Richelle and Eva," Jazmine said.
"They're super close like Eva and Richelle were too," Sierra added.
"They have such a strong connection," Lydia said. "Ripping them apart has been hard on the entire family."
"I can imagine," I said quietly.
I looked closely at the photo. Charlotte's eyes sparkled. They shimmered brightly in the light. They seemed to pull you in, in a way. Like she knew something no one else did, and she wanted to share what she knew. Mysterious. That was the word. Charlotte looked mysterious.
Dad definitely didn't know about Charlotte, or he wouldn't have let me come. After what happened with Shane, he wants us as far away from his case as possible.
I didn't care. I wanted to meet Charlotte. Maybe I should've told my parents, but I couldn't keep my eyes off Charlotte. Her eyes shone the same way Eva used to.
Lydia flipped through the pages, showing us pictures of kids. Some of the kid's stories sounded like complete and utter miracles and others just depressed me.
"We're doing a production for the parents at the end of the week, and you girls will be working with the choir and soloists," Lydia said.
I pursed my lips nervously. "I've never really worked with little kids. At least not with singing."
"That's alright," Lydia said encouragingly. "You don't have to be a professional. You just have to love music. In addition to the three of you, one more will be joining you. She's good with kids, and just so happens to be my daughter."
My mood was considerably brightened. Maybe she'd be more helpful than I would be.
"Hey, Mom, what are the snacks..." Ally Jensen stopped in her tracks as she stared at the three of us.
"Oh, speaking of which," Lydia smiled. "This is my daughter Ally. She'll be helping you with the choir as well.
I could feel Jazmine tensing up beside me. Uh-oh. Sierra stared at her feet.
"Hi," Ally said, clenching and unclenching her fists at her side.
All of a sudden, I really wouldn't mind Dad finding out about Charlotte and pulling me out of camp.
"Sadie," Lydia said. "I was wondering if you could specifically work with Charlotte. She could relate to you more than others."
"Richelle would be better for that," I said, a little panicky. I don't like talking about feelings. Not even with a nine-year-old.
"Except Richelle can't," Sierra pointed out. "She's having surgery in a couple of days, isn't she?"
"Surgery for what?" Ally asked, her brow furrowing.
"Amputation," Lydia said.
I shot a look at Sierra, who stared back at me with wide eyes. "I'm so sorry," she mouthed.
I swallowed and glanced at Ally, who took a deep breath and placed a hand over her mouth.
I dropped my head. And there it was.
"Alright then," Lydia said brightly. "So you'll be in the sanctuary for choir. Everything will be set up when you get there. Can you be here, say 8:15? That's when parents usually start dropping off kids. Depending on their treatment at the hospital, they may be early, or they may stay late. We'll keep them either way. If they need to stay overnight somewhere, we'll make it happen. Our goal is to make sure their parents don't have any added stress."
Lydia checked her watch. "We still have about twenty minutes. Do you girls want to hang out in the sanctuary?"
I glanced at Jazmine and Sierra and shrugged. "Sure."
"Can I go with them, Mom?" Ally asked.
My muscles tensed. No.
"Sure honey," Lydia smiled. Of course.
I couldn't say no now, that would key her in that something was up between us. So I kept my mouth shut and walked down the hall with Jazmine and Sierra, Ally a little behind us.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Ally asked as I slid into a pew.
"About what?" I asked, blinking obliviously.
"About Richelle," Ally said.
"Do you even know who Richelle is?" I asked, arching an eyebrow.
"I... she's... your sister?" Ally looked at me hopefully.
"Good guess," I said.
"She's the one who has cancer?" Ally cocked her head to the side.
"Yes," I said, pulling out my phone and texting my mother to come to get me.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Ally asked, sitting down in the pew in front of me.
Jazmine curled her hand around mine. I looked up and met her strong eyes.
"I didn't know it was that important to you," I said, perhaps a little too sharply.
"It was," Ally said. "I care about your problems. I could've helped."
"In what way?" I snapped. "Giving me sympathetic looks and telling me you're sorry about it? Telling me that everything will be okay? Does that everything happen for a reason? Is that what you would do?"
"Well, yes," Ally said. "I could've helped."
"That," I said sharply. "Is not helping. That would have made me nauseous. And the fact that you wouldn't leave it alone after I asked you to-"
"I didn't leave it alone because I care about you and I wanted to help!" Ally snarled.
"You crossed a line," I said, struggling to remain calm.
"How?" Ally challenged.
"There are some things that should remain a secret," I said.
"But you told them!" Ally threw a finger at Sierra and Jazmine. "How is it fair that you told them and not me? How can you think that's fair?"
"Whoever accused me of being fair?" I asked.
"You should try to be fair!" Ally said, her voice shooting up an octave.
"I have no obligation to be 'fair', Ally!" I snapped, standing up. I stood a good two inches taller than her, giving me a good advantage for glaring at her. "Since when has anything been fair in my life? My sister is dead, Ally. Nothing is fair. The sooner you learn that the sooner you'll wake up to the world."
"Life isn't fair," Ally said. "But we should try to make as many things fair as we can. Right?" Ally looked at me, almost triumphantly, like this was going to be my breaking point.
Well, it wasn't. "Listen, Ally," I snarled. "Fair doesn't mean everyone gets the same, alright? Fair means everyone gets what they need to succeed. No one gets the same in this world! If we run the world on what's fair, then why do innocent people die?"
"I don't know," Ally said. "But we should try."
"I have no obligation to try," I said. "I didn't tell you because I knew you'd ask questions. You'd give me sympathy. You wouldn't get it."
"Real friends wouldn't care if the other 'didn't get it," Ally said.
"Then what makes you think we're real friends?" I asked, getting up.
"What?" Ally's voice cracked.
"If you can't handle that I'm not going to tell you certain things, then we're not real friends," I said, getting up.
"Why do you hate me?" Ally called after me.
I stopped. "I don't hate you, Ally. I don't even dislike you. I'm just done. Done with all the drama. Done with the hurt. I'm done."
My breaths shook as I hurried out of the sanctuary. I could feel the tears coming. I ran to the bathroom, locked the stall, and sank down to my knees, tears rolling down my cheeks as I sobbed.
"I love you, Princess. Take care of what I love." The last words, the last memory I have of her. They rang in my ears like a bell chiming.
I hated feeling this way. Alone.
I knew I wasn't alone, but fear surrounded me, grasping me in a death hold. "I love you, Eva," I whispered. "I promise I'll take care of what you love."
The instant the words left my mouth, I felt better. I stood up, wiping my cheeks and staring into the mirror in front of me.
I sucked in a breath, clenching my fists at my side. "I'm ready."