As Tess felt her bladder start to relax, she almost cried out in frustration. But she had more self control than that. She could feel the first stream start to escape, but she was still standing between the trees, and everyone who was out so early in the morning was on their way somewhere, not loitering in the park. If she ran across to the tiny building, she would be visible to everyone driving past, but if she stayed in the tiny patch of trees she might just escape being seen.
She gave up on trying to hold it, knowing she had no chance now. Instead she grabbed the edges of her skirt to lift it out of the way, and squatted down between the trunks. They weren't big trees, mostly just birch, and when winter had stripped them of their leaves there was very little she could hide behind. But there was nobody in sight on either of the playing fields, and the cars on the little parking area now all seemed to be deserted, so there was a decent chance that nobody was looking in this direction. She was out of sight, at least as far as the passing traffic was concerned. There was nothing to hide her from view, but perhaps distance was all she needed. She knew she would need to change her socks again, but that wasn't such a big deal. After the last time this had happened, she had made sure to put a small roll of freezer bags in the bottom of her school bag. It wasn't a perfect solution, but they were plastic bags and probably leakproof. Taking a careful look around to make sure nobody was close enough to see, she sat down somewhat unsteadily on a low birch stump barely wider than her arm, and took off her shoes one by one. Her underwear and socks were bundled inside a little bag, padded with tissue paper, and then she rolled the top of the bag over and sealed it with a big clip. If she was lucky, the paper would absorb her pee, and her clothes would be dry enough to add to the regular laundry when she got home.
She had sprayed deodorant into the little bag of pee-soaked clothes as well. If any scent escaped, hopefully that would be enough to mask it. And then she reached down to the very bottom of her school bag, where the divider between two sections wasn't quite stitched on correctly, and slipped the bag inside it. Nobody would be able to find her biggest secret. And then she hesitated.
Already concealed in that same secret compartment was a last resort she would never possibly need. One of the night-time diapers, advertised as looking like real underwear, but in reality obvious even to a cursory inspection. She didn't even want to consider the possibility that she would wet herself again; but she hadn't believed that it could happen once. She balanced the danger of an accident when she couldn't hide so easily, against the embarrassment of someone discovering that she wore diapers. And there was only one answer there, as much as she wanted to deny it. These things were obviously diapers as soon as you looked at them, but she couldn't think of any situation where someone at school would be looking at her underwear anyway. And the chance of her losing control of her bladder, while incredibly low, was obviously not zero.
Tess told herself that it was okay. That it was just being sensible, and taking precautions. That there was nothing embarrassing about doing the practical thing. But no matter how much she repeated the mantra in her head, she just couldn't believe it. After a little hesitation, she left the diaper in her bag. She stood up, walking away from a puddle that was already vanishing into the ground. She could run to school now, maybe still arrive on time if she was very lucky, and nobody would ever know what had happened here.
* * *
Tess made it to school without further incident. Annette asked why she was running, but she just shrugged it off. It wouldn't be the first time she had needed to get a lift after missing the bus, and it was completely possible she could have been on the last minute for school. Thankfully she didn't see Tami again before class started; she wasn't entirely sure what excuse she had blurted out as she got off the bus, and might not be able to keep her story straight. Working something out before the journey home, just in case it was still on his mind, meant the problem could be put off until later.
One thing she did need to do was ask for help. She'd been putting it off for too long now, and if this really was just a sign of a psychological problem she was denying, she knew exactly where to go for help. While waiting for the first of the day's teachers to arrive, she pulled out her phone and typed a quick message to Ffrances. No detail yet; she wasn't exactly sure what kind of help she needed. But she knew it would be a big deal; Tess had looked up the prices of different hypnotists after her first experience had made her curious to explore further; and she knew that Ffrances would easily be billing a three-figure hourly rate for something like that. It took as much skill and effort as any other art, and asking a friend to do their job for free was sure to be seen as rude. But it was coming up to Christmas, and she hadn't asked for anything yet, so perhaps now was the time.
She asked if she could have another hypnosis session before she went away on Thursday. It could be her gift for the year, she said. Still a big thing to ask for, but she hoped that Ffrances would be willing to help. She didn't say exactly what she wanted exactly, she was still embarrassed to mention it. But she said there was something she wanted more than anything else. And in the back of her mind, she reminded herself that this was going to make her life easier; she wasn't just asking this for fun. As much as she might like the idea of having her mind changed, and finding out how much she could be controlled, she needed to focus on the practical for now. She pressed 'send', and slipped the phone back into her pocket before the teacher arrived.
After the day's announcements, her first class would be literature. That wasn't far to walk, and she knew she would have time to nip to the bathroom on the way. Now she knew there was no chance anyone could see her, she finally had the courage to pull the diaper out of her bag. It was small and cute; there was no mistaking what it was. She had packed it in case she ever got stranded visiting a friend overnight or something, and never expected to actually need it. But somehow, when she had put a spare pair of socks and a clean skirt into her bag, she hadn't thought to include spare underwear as well. What would be more humiliating if somebody saw it? She didn't know, but nobody would see anyway. And in this weather, she felt that the temperature alone should prohibit going around school with no underwear.
Everybody was having fun, and not even the teachers could take the day seriously. Typical for the last day of school. Tess found a lot of opportunities to hand out neatly wrapped gifts to all of her friends. At lunch or in class, she got everything handed out, and wished everybody happy holidays in case she didn't see them again before she left. Knowing that she was less likely to run into anyone in town just made the last day a little harder.
Over lunch, she looked at her phone and saw a message on FriendSpace from Ffrances. Tess had asked her not to mention this to Gabby, knowing that she couldn't cope with the shame if her cousin started treating her even more like a baby over this. And it seemed like Ffrances understood; she offered to pick Tess up from school, so they could talk about it on the way home. Tess knew that was probably a good idea, but she also knew there was a danger she would get nervous and be unable to say again.
"I wanted to ask before," she mumbled as she tapped an abbreviated version on the on-screen keyboard with one finger. "I was too embarrassed to say it." Would Ffrances have the skills to get her to admit what she wanted? Would she just compel her to say it, so that she didn't have a choice? Tess closed her eyes automatically as she imagined how that would make her feel. She would be completely ashamed, but somehow she also wanted it. While at the same time, she knew that Ffrances would never do something like that. She didn't go in for weird mind trickery; or reserved that for Gabby, who she knew better than anybody else.
A couple of bites of a sandwich later, she heard another vibration from her phone, and glanced down. It wasn't the annoying chirp of FriendSpace this time. A while ago, Tess had asked if Gabby and Ffrances used XV at all; because it would be easier for her to send messages on there. FriendSpace chat was so cluttered with stickers and animations, and all kinds of options that were the sign of an outdated platform trying to stay relevant. She hadn't expected a response, but it looked like Ffrances had seen that previous message again while reading the latest one. Tess quickly tapped 'accept' on a new chat request.
She typed a quick message, thanking Ffrances for switching to the messenger that she preferred to use. And then it seemed so easy to say what she'd been hoping to ask. She could see the words on the screen and they were just groups of letters; it wasn't nearly as intimidating as saying the words out loud.
She couldn't mention that she had wet herself on the way to school. There was no way she could admit that to anyone. She felt lucky she'd had the presence of mind to jump off the bus, or the whole school would have known by now. That had convinced her more than anything else that she needed help. But when it came to it, she couldn't mention the problem. But she remembered how much it had helped when she got the first hypnotic suggestion; she had barely wet the bed at all for a week or two, and ever since it had only been on the days when nobody said the trigger. The suggestion worked, she just needed to make it more effective.
"The hypnotic suggestion you gave me," she typed out. "Can you change it so I can use it in the day as well? If I ask you to say the words."
Ffrances's response was pretty pragmatic. She said she would be happy to do that, and she had no problem telling Tess what she wanted whenever it was convenient, but they would need to be more careful with the details. She explained that the bedwetting suggestion was simpler, because 'tonight' had a clear meaning. But would a daytime one be for the same day, or the following day? Because there wasn't a single obvious answer, it would be better to discuss it in advance, and decide which would work best. And there was also the issue of whether it would last a whole day; which Ffrances said she didn't think was a good idea for health reasons. Tess still wasn't sure that she understood that, but she would accept it. After many messages back and forth, they agreed that the person saying the trigger would have to specify a clear time. Whether that was "between one and three this afternoon", or "while you are watching television", there had to be some way to say how long her protection would last.
Tess sighed, and switched her phone off again. It was easier in text, sure, but she still felt drained. She'd never thought that asking for help would be so difficult.
"Somebody important?" the voice woke her up again, and she realised that she had been chatting online with Ffrances, ignoring her friends in the room around her. None of them minded, they must have known that she would tell them if it was anything interesting. But Spike was the one person she would never want to ignore.