"I'll take care of her."
Thank fucking God. Letting out the breath I've been holding. I looked back at Atlas, an annoyed look written all over his face. He should be mad about what the fuckers did, but no. He's not mad about the spying, or the Russo's trying to take what's ours. He's not mad about the Boston mob, he's mad about leaving Ellie.
For now, we had to do what we should've done before. Talk to those fuckers. We've made a plan a few years ago, while my father was still Capo. Atlas and I had already planned killing Boston's Capo. I have no fucking clue how they were our enemies when they were on the opposite side of the country. Instead of becoming allies with them, they ended up becoming our enemies. I knew something was wrong when one of our buyers stopped showing up. How could I let it slip away? Damn it.
"Atlas?" I called my brother's name. He's been muttering words in Italian that I can understand. Does he think I don't understand the shit he's been telling Ellie?
"I'll come back for you." Atlas said in Italian, kissing Ellie's forehead. "I swear to God, I'm coming back for you." he whispered in Italian, again.
Is there a chance that everything might fuck up? Yes. Is there a chance that we might not come back home alive? Yes, but let's not think of that, not now. I need to gather Atlas's thoughts first, let him realize that I'm bringing him home no matter what. I'll bring him home even if I end up being left behind.
He is my brother, and no one touches him, or takes him away from the one he loves. No one. I sighed, remembering us when we were kids. Our childhood was taken away from us, yes. But in the dark, when everyone was asleep, and we were both hidden beneath our blankets. We read comic books, I held the flashlight while he whispered the words. We became kids at night, soldiers by morning. If I knew my life would end up like this, I could've said no. I could've stopped breathing while I was in my mother's womb.
But no, I had to be here. My brother needs me, so as long as he needs me, I'm staying. I sighed, this is fucked up. The devil might be the reason why I'm like this, but that doesn't mean my brother should be, too.
I was born to be a monster, he was born not to be one.
That's what I've told myself ever since I saw him. He doesn't know it yet, but fuck, he's the only reason why I'm facing my own problems.
The comfort bubble I had popped as soon as Oceana tapped my shoulder. Looking down at her, she held a confused gaze with me with those pouty cheeks and over-sized hoodie.
She's the other reason why.
"We need to talk." I told her. She nodded and bit her lip. I looked at Atlas, he was now sitting down near the walls like a child, his legs crossed while Ellie crouched down.
Does he want Ellie to fucking baby him?
I rolled my eyes at the sight, well... I'll figure him out later. I need to tell Oceana what the whole plan of Ellie staying with her.
I left the dining area, walking back to her own room. Looking behind, she jumped slightly while she walked, like she was playing around. A smile formed my lips, and I shook my head. Atlas wants his wife to baby her, Oceana's an actual baby. Why the hell am I surrounded with these types of people?
When we got to her room, I sat at the chair across her bed. She stood in front of me, but not looking at my eyes.
"Sit." I said, she followed. "You comfortable enough?"
She shook her head, she moved deeper inside the bed, the sheets covering her legs. She looked back at me, still with the confused face. "What's happening?" she asked.
"I'm going to tell you a story, Oceana." I spoke, my shoulders tensed.
I've never told anyone about my past, not even my ex girlfriends or flings. I figured it wasn't required to tell someone about my life before. But Oceana is someone who doesn't know anything with this type of life, she's innocent, pure and a ball full of hope. She shines in a world full of darkness, and I hope, after this, she would still shine as much.
My life story is different from the others, I wasn't born because they wanted a son, I was born because they wanted a monster, a soldier, someone they would use for business. I was never loved, or even looked at.
Did I hate it? Yes. But as I grew up and realized that my parents only used me as a thing, and never a person. Did I learn from it? Very much.
"Do you know how a kid is made, Oceana?" I asked, she nodded. I mean, sex, of course. "No, look deeper into it. Do you know why a kid is made?" I asked again, looking deeper into her eyes.
"Because they wanted a kid, a family?" She questioned. I nodded, figuring out my next words.
"Were you made because of love, Oceana?" Her eyes deepened and she froze. Something in her shifted away. Something new. Something I don't know. It made me curious, made me want to know her more. Sure, I did spy on her, but I didn't check her background. I would never do that to someone so pure and innocent. I knew it the first time I saw her, she's different.
She didn't respond, so I continued. "Some kids are not made because of love, some are just made for fun, for business, or someone to continue their family blood, but never because of love. Use me as an example. The devil made me, no love, no heart, no smile, no hope. The devil made me for business." I felt my throat dried up, so I gulped. Her eyes stared into mine. "I need you, Oceana. I need you to stop this... this connection we have. I need it out of my system." I wasn't expecting for my heart to hurt, but it did.
I don't want to leave this place with her in my mind. No. Fuck that. It'll give me a reason to come back here, a reason to continue this dirty work my father gave me, gave us. I want an end to it all. If I don't come back, then everything will go as planned. Atlas will come home, have his own life without the mob, without this.
Oceana's eyes burned with hope. And I'm back to square one: how does her eyes light up with hope while I tell her to stop?
"Y—you feel it too?" She asked, stuttering.
Fuck, I've felt it since I saw her. It wasn't about her beauty, or the way she walked, it was of the way she talked to me, the way she rolled her eyes at me and the way she made me feel like a human being and not some kind of monster. All this time, she's been hiding from me.
"Yes, and I don't fucking love it, piccolina." I said, ashamed of myself. Coward, my father would say. Pretend you don't have feelings, son, you are better off without those damn feelings. They make you weak.
She opened her mouth, but nothing came out of those beautiful, pouty lips. My hands formed into a fist.
Stop, Nicolas.
Resist temptation.
Feelings and women, they make you weak.
"What do you want me to do?" She asked.
Before I could reply, Atlas came in without a knock. I quickly stood up, getting annoyed by his presence.
"What?!" I groaned. Ellie came in behind him.
Atlas gave me a cold look, but I could see his emotions in his eyes.
"We need to talk to them about everything." He said, looking at Oceana. I blocked his view, and he looked straight back him. He is my brother, yes. But there's this strange feeling I have inside of me that wants Oceana all for myself. I don't like men looking at her, don't like them talking to her, hell, now that I thought of it, I'd kill them all. I'd damn the whole world.
I nodded, we would do it here. "Sit, Ellie. We have some things to discuss." I looked at her, a soft smile forming her lips. Oceana softly tapped her bed, telling Ellie to sit beside her. She followed.
Atlas stood beside me while I was across Oceana. Our eyes locked.
"Atlas and I are going to Boston this week." I started while Atlas nodded, his hands in his pockets. Oceana looked confused, so I didn't stop talking. "We have a... business meeting. They need our presence there. For now, Ellie would be safe in Oceana's house. With four bodyguards outside, everyday. Two for Ellie, two for you." I said, looking at Oceana. Yes, she needs her own.
Ever since she held my hand, everything went hell starting from there. Octavia knows her, so everyone knows her. And I don't mean by everyone from the city, but everyone from every city that had mafia written all over their foreheads.
"You are safe with your bodyguards, they will give you your privacy, but do note that when things go wrong, they might need to keep you someplace safe. I know four of them, they are the best. And while me and Atlas are away, I want you both to keep an eye on each other. At all times."
Ellie knew how this famiglia business worked, but Oceana? No. I knew it by the way her eyes questioned me. For now, I want to keep it hidden. But I know she's smart, she might figure it out in the end. Right now, I'm hoping for the best.
"We're leaving today." Atlas said, interrupting my thoughts. I looked at him, his eyes set straight on Ellie. He didn't want to leave. We both knew what was waiting for us on the other side. And hell, I'd let him stay if he didn't insist.
"Why now?" Oceana asked, confused about all this.
"We need to finish it as soon as possible." So I can come back to you and pick up where we left off?
"Oh."
There was no way she was getting attached to me that quickly. I'm not her type. She likes boys the same age as her, get a grip, Nicolas. I shut the voice inside my head. Her type or not, I need to keep her safe. She might be in danger because of me, and I'm taking her out of that danger.
"Just for one week?" Ellie asked.
Atlas shrugged. "We can't say yes to that question yet, Ells." he said softly.
Ellie nodded.
"Ellie, you can pack your clothes for now. For one week or more. If we are not back yet, your bodyguards know what to do." I said. "I need a few minutes alone with Atlas, girls?" I asked, looking at Oceana and Ellie.
Oceana gave me a soft smile and grabbed Ellie on the arm, leaving the room softly. When I heard the door clicked, I looked at Atlas.
"You can stay, you know?" I whispered.
His eyes locked into mine. "You're my brother, for fucks sake. I get to say if I want to stay or not. And right now? I'm coming with you to fuck them up, okay?" he said, folding his arms.
Brother.
I chuckled. "I gave you another choice, man."
He smiled at me and scoffed, forming a fist. I fist bumped him and smirked. "We in this together, me and you." he winked and I shook my head.
The only people I call family is Ellie and Atlas... maybe Oceana, but right now? Just the two of them.
Atlas left the room, and then Oceana comes back rushing in. A weird look on her face. I stood up straight, something fluttering inside my chest, but I ignored it.
She stood in front of me, small and soft. Her eyes looking up at me while she bit her lip. How would it feel if I ever bite her lips? My heart smiled about the idea, but my mind said get a grip, motherfucker.
Her question came back running on my mind. And her biting her lips ruined my plans. Those damn lips should be fucking illegal.
I ducked my face, trying to be on the same height as her while I wrapped my left hand around her hip and my other hand cupping her neck. I pressed my lips on her. Her lips are better than I had imagined all those long nights I tried my best not to think of her but ended up showering with cold water. If her lips were a type of food, I'd finish this in no fucking time.
Our kiss deepened, earning a moan from her. Good. It's only a kiss, but that beautiful sound already got out of her fucking pouty lips.
I searched for breath while she gasped. A blush forming on her cheeks. I stared at her a little longer. I never knew I could love staring at a woman blushing. This are all very new to me. I was never in favor of trying new things or meeting new people.
I might be a monster, but I am still scared of risks, still scared of the outcome and the future. I don't do good choices, nor make any good ones. And for some reason, I think I'm making the best one in my life, or the worst. But fuck, it's either now, or fucking never.
"I need you to wait for me, Oceana. That's what I need you to do."