We walked back to mine in the cold. It always seemed to be cold in England. I couldn't wait to be in the warmth of my own home.
"I'm really sorry about the whole thing that happened today by the way. It's so fucking stupid and unfair," Alex looked at me and moved closer so the back of our hands touched each other as we walked.
"It's whatever," I said. I was trying really hard to act unbothered but Alex could see right through my act.
"No, it's not, Charlotte. That shouldn't have happened to you. You're so kind and basically perfect. I can't even fathom how people could see you like that," he said, suddenly serious.
"Thanks, Alex, but I'm far from perfect," I laughed.
"I wish you could see yourself the way I do," he put his arm around me and let it rest on my shoulders. I was suddenly warmed up. "In my eyes, you're perfect."
I could feel heat rise to my cheeks and my face flush bright red. He didn't know what his words were doing to me.
"You're just teasing," I jokingly punched him in the shoulder.
"Why would I tease? It's the truth," he smiled.
I smiled down at the floor to hide my very red face.
After a while, we stopped in front of my house.
"505," Alex read my address under his breath.
"I'll see you tomorrow," I said as I walked inside.
"See you tomorrow, Miss Charlotte," he waved.
It was so hard to stop liking someone like Alex. I was falling for him again. I wanted to push him away and kiss him at the same time.
"What's got you smiling like that," Claire said from the kitchen, with her arms crossed. She was with mum.
"Woah since when did you come home early?" I asked, genuinely surprised to see her.
"Since now but that's not important. What are ye grinning about? Or who should I say," she smirked and walked towards me. God, she knew me like the back of her hand.
"Nothing," I nudged her.
"What're you two bickering about," Mum looked at us.
"Charlotte has a crush on someone and won't tell me who it is," Claire laughed.
"I do not!" I pushed her.
"Liar!" she pointed at me.
"You're so fucking annoying!" I said as I ran upstairs. I heard her and mum laugh from the bottom of the stairs. She was right though. Claire always seemed to be right. It was a blessing and a curse.
I got into the shower and let the hot water almost burn my skin. Alex had called me perfect and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I wished he would stop messing with my heart. He didn't know the impact his words had on me. I felt like I was floating when I was around him. I didn't know if I wanted to tell Claire about Alex or not. I wanted him to myself. It was selfish but I couldn't lie to myself.
I walked downstairs with my hair still wrapped in a towel. Mum and Claire were sitting down and watching a film together. It was a strange sight. Claire never seemed to be home, always out and sleeping over with friends. It was nice to have her home for once. I sat next to her and rested my head on her shoulder.
"This feels so strange," I quietly said.
"What?" she replied.
"Having you home for once. When was the last time you sat on this couch?" I questioned her.
"Honestly I can't even remember," she replied honestly.
"Why are you home all of a sudden," I looked up at her.
"Jeez if you don't want me here that badly I'll leave," she joked.
"It's just different, that's all. It's nice to have you back home, Claire," I ran my hand through her hair.
"I'll see you ladies tomorrow. I'm tired," Mum said as we went upstairs.
"It's because of Brian," she suddenly said. Brian was her boyfriend. He was way too old for her and honestly just a big dickhead. Neither mum nor I liked him very much. I tried to warn her about him but she would never listen.
"What?" I replied, surprised. Her eyes started to water.
"Claire, what happened?" my tone suddenly turned serious.
"I was staying at Brian's and we got into a fight, as usual. He got really angry and started smashing things," Claire started to tear up.
"Fucking dickhead," I muttered.
"And then he started saying things and then admitted to cheating on me," she was full-on sobbing now.
"Oh no Claire," I held her in my arms tightly as she cried into my shoulder. "I'm so sorry. You don't deserve him or that at all."
"I don't ever want to see his face again," she cried. "I don't think I'll be seeing anyone for a really long time."
I comforted her but knew her last sentence was a lie. She was probably gonna start seeing some random boy within the next few days or so and end up never being home again.
***
"Just ignore them, Charlotte," Olivia whispered into my ear as we walked through the halls at school. It was the next day and the rumours had not died down. Everyone was telling me to ignore them but it wasn't as easy as they were making it to be.
The teachers had done nothing when they had seen the word slag on my locker. Since nobody owned up to it, I would have to be the person to clean it off. This was supposed to be my last year of school before uni and it was actual hell already.
"I want to die," I muttered to Olivia.
In English, Alex was trying his hardest to make everything seem normal. He had gotten in trouble for telling a bunch of kids who were staring at me to fuck off. It was kind of him but it really didn't change much.
"Wanna just get outta here and go for a smoke?" Alex asked.
"I'm already in enough trouble. I'm not leaving to go smoke with you," I rolled my eyes.
"It's only weed," he muttered.
"I don't care I'm not skipping," I replied.
"Fine," he grumbled and put his head on the desk.
The class ended and me and Alex went to go meet up with everyone else. Again the usual stares and snarky remarks were whispered as people saw me. People didn't seem to have as much gut when I was around Alex or other people. They were the meanest when I was alone.
"People are so fucking annoying here. Surprised the talk still hasn't died down yet," Alex said.
"I don't think it's gonna die down anytime soon," I tried to joke to hide how upset I was getting.
"I'm probably gonna move out of here the second I graduate. I mean don't get me wrong, I love Sheffield but I've outgrown this place. If things with the band go well I'll be able to travel the world," Alex replied. He seemed to have a lot of faith in his band. It was something he really enjoyed and I could tell that he would do anything to spend the rest of his life making music. He was really good at it too.
"Well there's not much time left until we graduate. Only what? A little under a year?" I replied. Alex seemed a have everything set for him for after graduation. I still had no clue on what I wanted to do.
"Well don't turn into a stranger once we graduate. Make sure to visit and call," Alex said as he put his arm around my shoulder.
"I'll try but I feel like I should be the one telling that to you," we both leaned against a wall behind the school. I leaned my head against his shoulder, not even realizing it.
"Why so?" He asked, genuinely curious.
"Because you're gonna be a world famous rockstar, sleeping with models and doing drugs, and I'll just be Charlotte, the girl who used to live across the street in Sheffield," I chuckled, but there was melancholy in my tone.
"Im flattered...I think? But I could never forget about Charlotte from across the street," he nudged me.
"Mmm yea sure," I grinned.
"There you two are," we both looked up to see Matt with the rest of the boys.
"Sometimes I wish they would all fuck off and leave us alone," Alex whispered in my ear, making me blush.
"Olivia and Louisa are waiting in the cafeteria," Jamie pointed at the building.
I didn't want to go back inside and Alex could sense that.
"Why don't we just stay out here?" Alex suggested.
"Cause it's fucking freezing and I wanna go to the music room and practice," Matt replied.
"We have a gig at the boardwalk," Nick grinned, knowing it would cheer Alex up. He loved going to gigs.
"Really?" Alex's eyes brightened.
"Yup," Jamie replied, already walking in the direction of the building.
"You're coming," Alex grinned at me.
"Where?" I asked.
"The boardwalk duh," he rolled his eyes as he grabbed my arm and we both walked behind the rest of the guys.
"Do I have a choice?" I joked.
"Nope," he grinned.
"Surprisingly, I don't mind," I grinned back.
"This is why you're like my favourite person," he put his arm around me as we walked back inside.