This is a short chapter but you get a lot out of it :)
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I smack Emery’s hand away as he reaches for the cake batter. Emery rolls his eyes and leans back in the chair he’s sitting in.
It’s been a week since Cade dropped the Chace thing on me, I mean we went on one date, one and then he goes to jail for pornography. I just attract all the weirdoes, don’t I? I mean there was Noah….
Just thinking about Noah brings a smile on my face.
As awkward as this is going to sound, Noah was really an amazing boyfriend. I mean sure Noah’s hot with blond hair, surfers haircut. His eyes the most darkest brown, ever. He has high cheekbones, round skinny face, has one hell of a jaw line, and the usual hot abs from all the sports he does. But Noah’s personality was even better than his sexy looks. Noah is hilarious, sweet, kind, accountable, bold, carefree, faithful, friendly, mature and over all a great person. Even though he has a bit of an anger problem, trust me once you get Noah pissed you get him pissed.
It took me over three months to make a flirtatious move on Noah in the ninth grade. After lacrosse practice we all decided to play tag football, I guess at that time you could say I was very shy at that time. I was new to the team and I felt they haven’t accepted me into this all boy team yet, so I stood away from them and tied my strings on my lacrosse stick, over and over again. About the fifth time tying them, I was ready to leave. As I gathered my practice crap I had started walking over to moms car when I hear Noah’s masculine voice call for me. I turn around and he asks where I’m heading, I tell him home. Then I tell him I’m not that good. He tells me he knows I think the guys don’t like me but they do, with a shrug I finally grab Noah’s hand and drag us to the boys. And from that day its all history. Noah always treated me like a princess even after we broke up.
The brake up just happened, Noah had been the one who broke up with me. He just told me since he was a senior and all this relationship wasn’t going to work as he’s heading to college next year. To say I was left heartbroken was an understatement. Noah had been the only boy I actually fell for but in the end you always get left heartbroken. I never told Noah how bad the brake up hurt me, when he broke up with me I just nodded and told him I totally understood and made it an act since the brake up 2 months ago. The only person I told about how hurt I was, was Cade. I trust Cade, he trusts me. Cade’s never told Noah and I thank God for that. Noah was also the only guy I’ve ever gotten in bed with, so I mean we have a special connection I guess. We both took each other’s virginity from each other.
“Earth to Cedes!”
I blink and shake my head as I look at Emery. “Huh, sorry, what?” I question.
“I asked why you’re baking a cake.”
I squint my eyes at him. “What? I cant bake a cake?” Emery shakes his head and I roll my eyes. Figures. “I’m bored so yeah,” I answer.
“Can I help?” my eyes widen. Is Emery Woods asking to…help?
“Um sure. You can mix the lemon juice in with the icing in the fridge,” Emery looks at me and chuckle. “honestly you cant judge until you’ve tasted it.”
“I’m trusting you, Element.”
Emery turns on the little radio in the kitchen and start pouring some lemon juice in the icing and mixes it. I finished up the cake batter and but it on a pan then put it in the stove. For once it felt like old times, it felt like Jess and Clayton (Emery’s parents) were here with us. It felt like Emery and I are 8 and 9 again. My parents are chilling with Jess and Clayton, we’re all normal.
“Do you miss them sometimes?” I blurt out without even thinking.
Ugh I’m always doing that.
Emery is quiet, I quickly look over at him and look back at the ground when I see the pain on his face. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that. Its just I miss them sometimes,” I mumble then look back up at Emery. He’s looking at the ground and his Adam’s Apple bounces up and down. Pain was on his face. I push myself off the counter and walk over to Emery, squeezing him into a hug.
“They loved you,” Emery whispers as he hugs me back.
“You miss them, don’t you?” Emery doesn’t answer, instead he just stays quiet and hugs me. I knew he was hurting even though he wasn’t admitting to it. Emery isn’t the big bad boy he claims to be, he’s still the fragile, tired, and sensitive 9 year old he always was. “Emery are you moving back home when you turn 18?” I quietly ask.
This question’s been bugging me since he got here. I’m scared he’s going to move back and leave me alone like he’s done for the past 8 years. I’m scared of losing the one thing I’ve always kept even through pain and rain. I don’t want him to go back as selfish as that sounds but can you blame me? You finally have your best friend again and then you let them slip through your finger tips in a matter of seconds. Having to tell them goodbye again when you just started saying hello. I don’t want to through that again.
“Are you crying?” Emery mumbles in my ear. I shake my head but the hot tears escape my eyes. Emery’s always been a sensitive topic to talk about and now that he’s hear I really don’t want to lose him again. I can’t lose him again. “Cedes I can’t promise you I’m not going to leave but right now I’m here, right?” I nod. “so lets not think about tomorrow or next week lets think about today and how beast that cake is going to be with your weird lemon icing.” I chuckle and wipe my tears away and step away from Emery with a smile.
“Okay, okay.”
Emery gives me his goofy smile, the one where his dimples show. “I’m glad to be back, Cedes.”
*
I jump when I hear a throat clear behind me. I slowly turn around to meet Emery leaning against his doorframe with a smirk on his face.
“And where do you think you’re going?” he asks.
“This isn’t what it looks like!” I exclaim.
Emery’s eyebrows spring up. “So it doesn’t look like you’re sneaking out while your parents are working late tonight?” I shake my head. “really?” I nod.
I finally groan and grab Emery’s hand, dragging him up the attic with me. “Just shut up,” Emery sighs behind me and I open the small window in my attic then climb out of it and onto the roof. “you coming?!” I holler to Emery. I look behind me to see Emery crawling out.
“Is this even safe?” he questions. I chuckle and start walking towards the top and sit down when I get to highest spot. Emery sits next to me and I point up to the sky.
“See that star right there?” I question, Emery nods. “that’s the star we names Jiggles, remember?” I whisper as I bring my knees up to my chest and look up.
“You remembered that?” Emery questions, surprised.
I nod. “I usually come out here and look up at it when I cant sleep at night,” I say sheepishly. “when I was little it was the only thing keeping me sane.”
“Cedes-” Emery starts with a pitiful voice but I cut him off.
“When I was 14 my mom told me we were getting too old and you were off with your friends, so it was normal for you to not be talking to me because of your new friends and all. I still felt rejected to be honest. And when you came back a couple weeks ago, just so many emotions that I kept building up just got knocked down in matter of a second. The pain, the anger, the sadness…..everything. I never realized how much I missed you until I saw those grey eyes. It was just a moment of he’s here. He’s finally home. But you weren’t the Emery who left 8 years ago. I was scared. Scared you changed,” I take a long intake of breath. “and you have changed, Emery. You’ve changed so very much,” I plead.
“Cedes I was gone for 8 years, of course I was going to change,” Emery confesses.
I turn to Emery and lean the side of my head on my knees. “Not everyone changes.”
Emery looks over at me with those big grey and violet eyes. “Your going to tell me you haven’t changed?”
I shake my head. “No I’ve changed but someone who had such potential 8 years ago doesn’t need to change.”
Emery looks down in his hands. “Someone who lost their parents need to change,” he adds.
I shake my head. “No. Its their choice whether or not to change. Not because something happened that changes their life forever. You shouldn’t want to change so you still feel that home feeling. I regret changing into the person I’ve become.”
Emery snaps his head over to me with questioning eyes. “And what person have you become?” he questions.
My stomach drops and I look away from him as I mumble. “An ill person, Emery.”
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