"Riiinnnnaaaa!"
I hear my best friend sing out like the banshee she is. I glance up and see Zaria walk in, twirling like a ballerina on drugs. Zeke walks in behind her, looking nervous.
"Hey Rina," he mutters. "Daniel here?"
I smile and shake my head. "Nope. You're clear." I try to shove the butterflies in my stomach down.
"Okay," Zeke says. He pulls up a chair next to my bed.
Zaria just sits on the edge. "How are you feeling?"
I scoff. "Never better. Just splendid. Serendipity. Perfect. I'm just fantabulous-"
"Shut up," Zaria says. "How are you really?"
"You just told me to shut up," I say sullenly.
"Well I'm revoking my previous comment," Zaria says. "How are you really?"
I sigh. "Numb. Paralyzed. Kind of helpless."
"Helpless?" Zeke asks. "What are you talking about?"
"I can't do anything on my own," I snap. "I can't go to the bathroom. I can't get into bed or go anywhere. I can't even sit up on my own. Gee, I wonder what I'm talking about."
"Stop it!" Zaria snaps. "Listen, Rina. It's okay to be upset. It's okay to not like this. It's okay to complain even. No one would like this. But Rina, you don't have a choice. So stop yelling at us, alright?"
I sigh. "Right. Sorry."
"I'm sorry this is what you have to go through," Zeke says quietly.
I shrug. "It's not like I have much of a choice."
I place my hands on either side of my body and try to press my body upward. It only takes a few seconds for me to tire out and stop.
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I have physical therapy tomorrow. Two hours. I'm kind of excited. I really want to gain function back. Or at least learn how to do things for myself."
"You will," Zaria assured me. "I know you will."
"Me too," Zeke said, his voice strong. "You'll get there, Rina."
My best friend was sitting right next to me, encouraging me. My crush was sitting next to her, telling me that I could overcome this.
So then why did I feel so alone?
*Daniel POV*
I held Gemma's hand tight. Her eyes were fearful as she clung to my arm. She sat next to me, leaning against me. I could feel her trembling a little. My parents and Joanna's parents had prepared a place to talk over Joanna's drunk driving, and how to handle everything. My parents had decided a civil talk with her parents would be best.
On the other hand, they had already hired one of the best lawyers and had made a list of the charges they had planned for Joanna and her parents. Joanna was already set for juvie and several penalties against the law.
My parents had let Gemma stay with me, so we would have a witness that wasn't part of our family, just in case things got ugly.
"Hi," My mother says kindly, opening the door.
Joanna's mother has bags under her eyes and her blonde hair is frizzy, like she forgot to brush it. She looks like she hasn't slept in days. "Hi," she says, her voice weary.
"Thank you so much for talking with us before we do all of that law stuff," Joanna's dad says.
Gemma pushes herself to a sitting position next to me, rolling her shoulders backward. Her eyes are sharp, surveying every little detail. I can tell she's trying to pull herself together. For the most part, on the outside, she does look the part.
"Joanna," Mr. Thompson says, shaking his head. "She just... she's such a handful. Sometimes I don't even know why I bother with her."
"Sometimes it is hard," Dad asks, leading Mr. and Mrs. Thompson to the couches. "But you love them and that's why you do it."
Dad sits down next to Mom and motions Mr. and Mrs. Thompson to the two chairs to the right of the couch.
"Right," Mr. Thompson nods. He's tall and gruff, his hair slicked back. He looks like a big businessman. He makes me uncomfortable. I can tell he does Gemma too. I slip an arm around Gemma and feel her relax a little.
"How is Rina?" Mrs. Thompson's brow furrows in concern as she turns her eyes to my mother. "Is she going to be okay?"
"They don't think she'll have any complications," Dad says. He glances at Mr. Thompson a little nervously as Mr. Thompson glares at his wife. "But she's not out of the woods yet. They're expecting months of rehabilitation. She can move her toes a little, but that's all. They're not expecting her to regain her ability to walk. But she might be able to recover some feeling."
"We are so sorry about her," Mrs. Thompson says, sounding genuine. "We never meant for this to happen. I didn't even know Joanna was at the party that night."
"It's alright, hon," Mr. Thompson put a big hand on his wife's knee, giving her a compassionate look.
I can see the small tense in Mrs. Thompson when her husband touches her. I look at Gemma, and as soon as our eyes meet, I know she can too.
Does Mr. Thompson abuse his wife and daughter?
"Unfortunately, we're going to have to press charges," Dad says. "Joanna was drinking while driving."
"Yes," Mrs. Thompson nods. "We understand. Unfortunately, this isn't the first time this has happened."
"Oh really?" Mom cocks her head.
Mrs. Thompson nods. "Three years ago, when Joanna was thirteen, she was with her friend Kayla, and they got in Kayla's parents' car. They crashed the car. Kayla lost her leg. Joanna had a few minor injuries. Our lawyer got her out of jail time, but we had to pay thousands of dollars. The driver they crashed into died instantly."
Mom brought a hand to her mouth. "That's horrible."
Gemma was starting to look nervous. Her hands trembled. Her voice shook when she spoke. "What... What was the girl's name?"
"Who?" Mrs. Thompson asks, turning to Gemma.
"The driver," Gemma says. "That was killed. What... What was her name?"
"Um..." Mrs. Thompson pursed her lips. "I think it was... Scarlett... Violet... something like that. It was a color. Yes, it was a color. Hazel, maybe?"
"Was it, uh," Gemma swallowed. "Was it Jade?"
"Yes, I think that was it," Mrs. Thompson nodded. "How did you know?"
"I..." Gemma's voice broke. I could tell she was struggling to hold back tears. She looked at me briefly, then ran out of the room.
I stood up. "Gemma, wait!" I glance at my parents, then the Thompsons. Then I run after my girlfriend. I find her on the front steps of our front porch, her head in her knees, sobbing.
I sit down next to her and just look out on the horizon. "You alright?"
Gemma doesn't say anything. Just shakes her head, ever so slightly.
"Okay," I say. I don't say anything. I don't do anything. I just sit there, with her, watching the sunset.
The clouds are beautiful. Bits of pink, with dashes of purple and blue against an orange sky. I sit admiring it and thinking everything through for about thirty until Gemma speaks.
"I think we need to take a break."
"What?" My voice cracks. "Are you serious?"
Gemma nods solemnly. "I'm sorry, Danny. I just... I need a break."
"Was it something I did?" My breaths are shaky. This can't be happening. "Something I did? I'm sorry."
"No," Gemma shakes her head. "It's nothing you've done. I promise. There's just so much going on right now. And Rina needs you more than I do. You need to be with her more than you need to be going with me to doctor's appointments.And I need... I need time to sort through everything. Nothing's changed between us. I promise. I still love you. I think we just need a little space to sort life out."
I drop my head. "Right." Space. Space turned into breakups. I couldn't handle a breakup. I didn't have my sister to rant to. Or cry to. Not now. I couldn't handle a breakup now. And yet, Gemma wanted space.
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly, shakily. "Okay."
I hear the door open behind me and Mrs. and Mr. Thompson walk out.
I stand up quickly. Gemma doesn't move.
"Thank you so much for talking with us," Mrs. Thompson says, hugging my mother.
"Yes, thank you," Mr. Thompson gives a gruff nod.
"It's no problem," My father says, smiling a little. "Thank you for coming."
"Of course," Mr. Thompson says gruffly.
"Thanks again!" Mrs. Thompson says over her shoulder as they walk to their car.
My father looks at me, then cuts his eyes quickly to Gemma with a questioning look. As if planned, Gemma raises her head. Her eyes are red and puffy and her arms have red marks. "I think I'm going to go home. Is that alright?"
I nod quickly, fighting tears. "Of course. Of course. Do what you need to do."
"Thank you," Gemma says. She stands on her tiptoes to reach me, and plants a kiss right on my lips.
"I love you," she whispers.
Then she's gone. I turn slowly.
My parents look at me, concerned looks on their face. I walk past them, then break into a sprint toward my room. I pause right in front of Rina's room and a tear slides down my face.
Then I open the door, grab my phone, and call my sister.
"Rina?" I ask.
"Danny?" Rina asks. "What's wrong?"
"Rina," I burst into tears. Sobs rack my body.
"Danny, hold on," Rina says. "Danny, what's going on? What's wrong? Talk to me. Please. Just talk to me."
"Gemma," I choke out. "She-She..."
"She what?" Rina's voice is worried. "What is it?"
I swallow. "She wants space. And I think she might break up with me. And I can't handle that Rina. Not with everything else. And you... and I can't-"
"Shhh, Danny," Rina says through the phone. "Shhhh. Gemma will come around. She'll realize what an amazing guy you are. And if she doesn't... her loss. I'll find you another girlfriend myself. And she'll be even more amazing because your even more amazing older sister picked her out. Okay?"
"Okay," I whisper. "I wish you were here."
" I wish I could be there," Rina says. "But for now, remember this. Nothing is ever going to stop us from being there when we need each other. Okay?"
"Okay," I swallow the lump in my throat and say, more confidently, "Okay."
"You know I'm right because I'm always right," Rina teases.
"Except when Mom corrects you," I reply.
"I'm right 99.9 percent of the time," Rina corrects herself.
"Whatever you say, dear sister," I say.
"Yes," Rina says. "Whatever I say."
We stay on the line with each other for hours afterward, just doing things. We don't even have to talk to understand each other.
The silence is simply understood.
*Gemma POV*
Should I have done that? Was giving myself a break from Daniel what I really wanted?
"Hey Gemma," Micah said, poking his head in.
I looked up from my hands. "What?"
"Mom wants you," Micah looked concerned, but he said nothing.
I sigh, get up and find Mom. I hug my arms and rock back on my heels a little.
"Hi Gemma," Mom said. "We've got a surprise for you," Mom smiles.
I stay silent and follow Mom to the back porch. A lady stands there. "Hi Gemma." She smiles. "I'm Hannah. And this..." She snaps her fingers. "Is Roxy."
A tan and brown German Shepherd comes running out. Hannah bends down and starts loving on her.
I stand back. What's going on?
"Baby," Mom brushes her hand behind my head. I tense, automatically. "This is Roxy. She's a trained Psychiatric Service Dog."
"What?" I ask softly.
"She's yours," Mom said. "She was one of Bella's puppies. Remember training the puppy?"
I think back to puppy training sessions with Roxy and nod.
"Right," Mom says. "Roxy was set to be your service dog after Bella. We have everything set up. She'll respond to your commands just like Bella did."
A lump catches in my throat. I swallow it. "Can I..." I glance at Mom, then Roxy.
Mom nods.
"Roxy, here," I say, bending down.
Roxy trots over to me and pushes her head in my chest. I feel warmth rush in. She's not Bella, but she's certainly close enough.
Rina
It's nine in the morning and they already have me in physical therapy. Starting at an hour and a half a day and going up from there. I'm going to try to get three hours in today. I want to be able to walk by the time I leave this place. I don't have high hopes, but I want to try.
I'm sitting in my wheelchair, my physical therapist Liza standing in front of me. She touches my stomach. "Sit up straight."
I roll my shoulders and lengthen my back as much as possible.
"It doesn't have to be that straight," Liza says. "Just don't slouch and let your back bend in."
I nod and relax a little.
Liza smiles. "And relax! This is intensive therapy, but it doesn't mean we can't have a little bit of fun."
I looked at her blankly. "I'm paralyzed. What part of this is fun?"
"The part where we go outside?" Liza smiles at me.
I shrug. "That sounds cool, I guess."
"It will be," Liza says. "You look like you could use some fresh air. You haven't even seen the light of day in twenty-four hours. But first-" Liza gives me a mischievous look. "You have to get there."
I sigh, reaching back for the rims of my wheels. My hands run over them and I give myself a good push.
"Good!" Liza encourages. "Remember- sit up straight, reach far back, and be careful about the steering."
I take a deep breath. "Right."
Liza goes ahead of me and opens the door. Slowly, I push myself out.
It takes forever to get out the door, and then an additional forever and a day to actually get around the building.
When we got back, Liza moved my legs passively for me, then she made me work my arms and abdomen muscles, because they have to be stronger to account for the loss of function in my legs and working a wheelchair all day.
By the end of two hours of therapy, I was exhausted.
This was going to be harder than I thought.
Daniel
I sat in my bedroom, scrolling through Instagram, when I heard a knock at my window. I moved over to it, pulling back the curtains. And there she was.
I stumbled back, startled. Then I narrowed my eyes. "Joanna," I say coldly. "What are you doing here?"
"Please let me in," Joanna says.
"Why should I?" I demand.
"Please," Joanna's voice is quiet. She sounds sincere. I sigh and beckon to the back door.
She nods and I go to meet her there. Oh god, what was I getting myself into?
"Danny-"
"Don't call me Danny," I say sharply.
"Alright, Daniel," Joanna says. "Please, I need your help. I know I don't deserve it-"
"You're right about that," I snap. "You paralyzed my sister! All because you got into a car drunk."
"I'm sorry," Joanna whispers. "I didn't mean for that to happen."
"Then don't get drunk in the first place!" I snarl. "Getting drunk messes with your head!"
"I know that!" Joanna snarls. "Don't you think I know that? I can't help it. Drinking is my escape."
"Escape from what?" I demand. "Life? School? You can't run, Joanna. And your parents-"
"Leave my parents out of this!" Joanna growls.
"Your parents need you back," I say.
"You don't know what my parents have done," Joanna says. "You don't know how they've- How they've hurt..." Joanna's voice breaks. "You have no idea."
"Maybe I don't," I say. "But they've got to be worried-"
"Yeah," Joanna snorts. "Right."
"Your parents-"
"Hate me," Joanna says. "They hate me. I'm never good enough. And they let me know every second of my life! Not to mention, the bruises-" Joanna clamped a hand over her mouth.
"Hold on," I held up a hand. "Bruises?"
"Nothing," Joanna said. She pulled a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "It's nothing. Just forget about it."
"No," I say. "What do they do to you?" I notice she's wearing long sleeves. I reach over and touch her arm, but she jerks away.
"Stop it," she says.
"No," I grab her arm and she winces. I yank her sleeve up, the bruises underlying making my breath catch in my throat. "What do they do to you?"
Joanna shook her head. "It's not 'they'."
"Then who is it-" My words were cut off by my door opening. My head darted up to meet the eyes of none other than Gemma Caddel.
"Gemma, I-"
"Save it," Gemma says sharply. "What are you doing here?" She glares at Joanna.
"I..." Joanna looks down.
"No," Gemma says, stalking in, a new dog at her hip. She stands in front of Joanna, seemingly towering over her. "No, I want to know what you think you're doing here." Gemma turned to me. "And you. I want to know why you would do this. Why you would hide the person who paralizyed your sister. And killed my sister! How could you?"
"Gemma, it's not what you think-"
"Then what is it?" Gemma demanded.
I glanced at Joanna, and she shook her head, ever so slightly.
"I..." I looked at my lap.
"Fine," Gemma growled. "Don't tell me. But don't expect me to welcome you with open arms when you come running back to me after she breaks your heart and kills someone you love." Gemma's face was hard as stone, her eyes as cold as pebbles.
"Wait, Gemma," Joanna called.
Gemma whirled to face her. "What?"
"Please don't tell my parents," Joanna whispers. "I can't... please just don't."
"Oh no," Gemma snarls in reply. "I won't tell them about your little party here. I'll let them find out on your own when the both of you ruin yourselves. Then I can say 'I told you so'."
Gemma turns on her heel and storms out.
It took all of my willpower not to run after her.
"Daniel, please, you have to help me," Joanna pleads. "I can't go back."
I look after the direction Gemma disappeared. "I..." my voice trails off. I look up into her pleading eyes. "Okay."