Disconnected | SNS

𝑅𝑒𝒸𝑜𝓃𝓃𝑒𝒸𝓉𝑒𝒹

A/N: Thanks for all of the love I received on the first part of this! Seriously, it was great. I missed writing on here. So, I have told you guys there was only going to be a second part and then it would end...turns out I lied. Idk how long this will be, so I'm just considering it a short story, hopefully this won't be too long, but I can't even make any predicitions at this point.

Anyway this chapter is sappy, and dramatic, I hope you guys enjoy!

☽

"I guess it was stupid to think we could just start over," Sasuke says beginning the process of admitting everything. But how was he supposed to explain why he was here?

He was hoping to avoid this confrontation for as long as possible. He knew he would have to come clean eventually after he started to speak with Naruto in the first place. He always knew he'd have to confess, that was never not an option. He just didn't think it would have to happen so soon. He assumed he would have more time. Now it seems, he didn't have any.

If you omit all of the days they've spoken to each other online previously, then they have technically only known each other for a little over two weeks. But they've only exchanged words together for half of that. To the outsider looking in, they're strangers. They shouldn't be able to know each other so well. Sasuke had thought it would take longer, more time interacting together to maybe–possibly make Naruto question something. But Naruto was already kind of sensing something was amiss despite the fact they've hardly seen each other at all.

Sasuke has never wished more than in this very moment that he lied to Naruto. If he had lied that first day about his name, he wouldn't be in this situation now. Naruto wouldn't have the context of his name to even be slightly reminded of the person he knew through the screen.

He's starting to slightly panic. He worries if his attempt was futile in the end after all. What if Naruto just ghosted him because he was completely done?

Not some other arbitrary reason Sasuke could come up with in the few months that they didn't speak. Did that mean that he was just holding on to the frayed edges of their relationship? Trying to grasp onto something that wasn't there anymore since it was one of the only things keeping him together for a while. Was all of this just a blind-sighted attempt to hold on when he should have let go?

Is he angry? Does Naruto think he's some batshit crazy stalker now?

"What do you mean?" Okay, maybe he's getting ahead of himself, Naruto doesn't sound angry...but he does sound like he wants an answer in the next three seconds.

Sasuke takes a serious look at him. He's really so much better looking in person. He remembers the way he looked in the pictures, and the camera did not do him justice. Naruto was pretty much everything Sasuke imagined he'd be like, and he didn't want it to end just yet. But if Naruto told him he was crazy, and to leave him the hell alone, he'd oblige. Probably move halfway across the world after that too.

He had forced himself to think that he still had a chance even if he didn't because he refused to believe Naruto would just throw all that they had away. What did all of those months of talking mean to him? Did they hold the same weight in his heart, or was it so easily discarded after all? He felt like a fool the longer he thought about it. He also hates the fact that he had to be confronted about this to finally even think about it.

"It's me."

In the spiral of his thoughts, he knows that's not the answer he should be giving. It's not the explanation Naruto deserves but he wants it to be enough because explaining just about everything seemed like an incredibly overwhelming task at the moment. Naruto needs more than just that, and Sasuke can practically see his mind light up with questions instantaneously.

"But how? Why? How did–" Naruto is frantic at first, then he takes a deep breath realizing that he is not speaking coherently. Skipping over a question, with another, and then another won't get this discussion anywhere.

His mind is trying to wrap his head around everything but without answers to aid him, it's quite difficult.

"What about Akatsuki University? You said you were going to follow after your brother."

Sasuke isn't quite sure why that's the first thing Naruto decides on, but he answers anyway.

"Decided I didn't want to go," Sasuke shrugs, "I guess...I have you to thank for that."

He knew when he decided on this school it was great for his major, but it wasn't just because it was a good school that he came to this specific one. There is any number of other places he could have gone. This was just around the same area he knew Naruto to be in. If anything, he was lucky there was a school here where his parents were fine with financing his trip and tuition. He's lucky to have a cousin on this side of the country to house him.

All of it was luck that he was sitting in front of Naruto today, and he finds that pretty unbelievable.

If those things weren't in place for it to be convenient for him...Sasuke knows he would have tried hard to find a way to make it here anyway.

He knew how crazy this idea was, he knew it when he thought it initially, he knew it when he boarded the plane. His intentions in coming here were completely unreasonable, illogical even. But Naruto definitely had the ability to make him act uncharacteristically.

He was going to do it anyway, if not for the possibility, then for the peace of mind that he at least tried. Here he was and he'd just have to admit that this was definitely the dumbest idea he's ever had.

It didn't even occur to him that Naruto might not want anything to do with him anymore. (Well, it did. But in his mind, that was a completely low probability answer.) The thought of completely disconnecting from him entirely filled his heart with fear. How could he lose this one real relationship he felt he had that they built?

"Then...if you didn't want to follow after your brother, then why come here?" Naruto asks, and this is the question that digs into the root of it.

Sasuke knows this would be the perfect opportunity to just own up to it. To admit he has a huge fucking crush on him, that it's heart-wrenching and ate at him day by day to love this boy who he assumed he'd never even see. Just tell him straight out and go from there.

But the words won't leave his head. He knows they won't. It's so much easier to say what he feels when it's words on a screen. So much more difficult to say exactly what's on his mind when Naruto can see him. He knew if they were having the exact same conversation thousands of miles away, he'd be much more likely to own up to it. But he was here now. Naruto sees his face, he knows his heart.

"I didn't want to. I never did, and I'm good at other things so I figured I'd come here, for this school's engineering program." As he explains, he knows it's not a complete lie, just a partial truth.

It's not the entire reason why he came. Probably not even half actually.

Sasuke looks at Naruto's face still, trying to get a gauge on his emotions. Sometimes the boy could be very expressive, so he's seen these past two weeks. But as of this moment, Sasuke has absolutely no idea what Naruto is thinking.

"There are plenty of schools with good engineering programs," Naruto points out after a second almost not buying what Sasuke told him.

What else should he say at this point? Is he trying to back him into a corner? Is it deliberate, or coincidental? Whichever it was, Sasuke was still getting increasingly nervous, he chooses his next words with a bit more care, but can't stop a bit of acidity seeping into his tone.

"Would you rather I not be here?"

"That's not what I said."

Naruto's voice is calm, and that makes Sasuke's mood worse somehow. He starts to feel angry and he's not even sure who it is directed at. Is he angry at Naruto? Or is he angry at himself for being such a fucking idiot coming all the way here, hoping for this, and getting it, then realizing this was a terrible decision? He feels more idiotic by the second, Itachi would never have been dumb enough to chase a dream like this. His perfect brother would never have traveled all the way across the country to be with a boy–and without certainty that he was even wanted no less!

He got this all wrong. He should have let Naruto move on. Clearly, that was what he wanted when he shut him out. Ceased all communication completely with not even a word goodbye.

"I'm sorry." Naruto averts his eyes now.

"For what?" He wants him to own up to abandoning him without any notice.

"I ghosted you, I just kinda assumed I'd never see you anyway and I..."

They are both tiptoeing over saying something vital, and there's no way the other knows what that is. If Naruto doesn't say it, Sasuke won't. If Sasuke doesn't say it, Naruto won't either.

"—You were going to follow after your brother! Go to a prestigious ass school and forget all about me, I had no reason to believe I'd ever see you again, much less at the same college campus. You can't be mad at me for—"

"You said nothing!" Sasuke raises his voice, he's not used to feeling things so powerfully before.

Trying to be passive toward everything, and pushing down his bitterness, anger, fear, it's all pouring out into this one interaction and it's all too much. He has absolutely no incentive to control it either, not if he believes this is the last time he'll speak to Naruto.

"I knew you'd try to convince me to keep maintaining contact with you."

"Of course I would! You were the only person I had." Sasuke's anger dwindles at the last part. He knows that Naruto isn't a person he wants to be angry at.

"You were to me too."

"I was?" Sasuke questions the past tense. Not being able to stop the hurt in his voice either. He feels like he's so easy to read, but Naruto isn't.

Does Naruto mean that their time is over?

His frustration is growing. Sasuke just wants things to get to the point without actually bringing attention to his innermost feelings himself. He wants to delve into Naruto's psyche, how can he figure out just where he stands with him?

"I shouldn't be your only person and you shouldn't be mine," Naruto responds as if it answers Sasuke's question. It doesn't.

"Why not?" Sasuke presses, not even thinking about the consequences of doing so. Where is this going?

"It's not–" Naruto starts and doesn't even know how to explain his thinking, "...Sasuke."

It's the first time Naruto has spoken his name aloud to him knowing exactly who he was. Sasuke doesn't know how that makes him feel, but there is definitely a difference in tone that grabs his attention ever so slightly.

"Do you like me?" He truly doesn't know the answer? Isn't it obvious?!

"I–" Sasuke doesn't even register that particular question when he starts forming another sentence.

He stops. Looking at Naruto, cursing how it's still so hard to figure out what he's thinking. What is he supposed to say? Admit it? What if he does and he's rejected? Just stop being such a fucking coward. He asked you a question. There's only one answer.

"I fucking moved all the way across the country for you–I like you okay?" He just couldn't say it simply. It was hard enough to say that. It felt like he was being cornered right there.

But he isn't met with resistance, if anything Naruto comes closer, Sasuke hates the way his body wants to move closer too. Naruto invades his personal space, but it's not an unwelcome change. In fact, he's sure that's exactly what he desires.

"I don't think I know what I feel," Naruto takes Sasuke's hand as he says this, and it feels like rejection, but he'll let him continue, though his heart is slowly breaking. "I know you're important to me, and I think I need time to figure out how..."

Sasuke tries to calm himself down as he listens to Naruto. It felt as though he bore his soul to him with what he said last. It was difficult, and he tries to imagine how hard it is for Naruto to articulate his feelings as well. He can work with this, it's not the best possible answer, but it's a hell of a lot better than complete rejection.

"I haven't really had much time to think about it, because I...didn't want to," Naruto admits, his fingers graze over Sasuke's hand. It's a bit of a nervous motion, and he seems to focus on that instead of looking Sasuke straight in the eyes. Sasuke likes the touch though so he doesn't pull away. He only focuses on the message Naruto is trying to get across, "I realized that I was getting too close to you then I stopped talking to you...I guess you could say I was scared."

Sasuke realizes that Naruto didn't leave because he didn't want anything to do with him anymore, it was the opposite. It hit him hard–they could have worked through this! He didn't have to leave just like that. He could have at least tried to say something instead of...there was no use in being mad. No benefit to trying to make Naruto's actions make sense.

"Look at me," Sasuke says, taking his hand away, and sees Naruto's red-tinted face look up at him, "Did you think I would be mad? Did you think I'd be upset with you? I–We've told each other way worse things than 'I like you.'"

He realizes how hypocritical that sounds when just a minute ago he wasn't able to say those words aloud to save his life. But it's out in the open now, so that doesn't matter.

"I...don't have anybody else. I have my family but I've never felt as close to anyone when I was talking to you." Sasuke continues, "I feel like it was inevitable anyway, for me to fall for you."

Naruto rests his forehead against Sasuke's, not wanting to say a word, and reveling in the closeness that they share in this moment. Naruto knows it's more intimate than he probably should be with someone he technically has not known that long, but Sasuke is no stranger.

Sasuke's hands trail up to Naruto's blonde hair, it's so soft and everything about him is welcoming. Naruto separates from Sasuke's touch, unwilling to break eye contact even though his eyes look a bit glossy. Almost as if he's about to cry.

"Inevitable huh?" Naruto says, smiling triumphantly. "I think—"

He stops talking, hearing the door click open. Naruto and Sasuke separate from each other. An awkward pause descends upon the room.

"Am I interrupting something...?" A boy who Sasuke guesses is Naruto's roommate walked in. He's got messy red hair and a tattoo on his forehead, and an excessive amount of eyeliner.

"No, uh I was gonna leave soon anyway," Sasuke gets up, a bit awkward due to the fact they were interrupted, "I'm Sasuke, and you?"

"Gaara." He says plainly, no niceties are spared in this interaction and Sasuke gets his back and puts on his jacket.

"We can continue talking about this another time," Sasuke says, and he's kind of upset he has to leave now, but he's not about to continue talking with a stranger in the room. Even if it seems like the guy probably doesn't give a shit at all anyway. It felt like they were getting closer to figuring things out, and although Naruto didn't reciprocate immediately, it still wasn't as bad as a rejection, so Sasuke feels that there's hope.

He still wants to talk, but he knows Naruto needs space to think for himself. Especially now after a reveal like this. To Sasuke, this isn't new. He's been here, he knows what Naruto looks like, he was aware of his own feelings for a long time before this. It must be hard for Naruto to comprehend that Sasuke's here, and now he also has to confront the feelings he hasn't since he shut it away for the sake of his heart. Thinking Sasuke would never be a part of his actual life.

"Talk tomorrow?" Naruto says, it's casual, but a silent promise. One that Sasuke knows well.

"Of course," Sasuke says, his voice is low but absolute, and he gives Naruto a small smile. He remembers how frequently they've said those words to each other. Just to cling to the promise of tomorrow.

I'll talk to him tomorrow.
He'll be there in the morning.
He won't leave me all alone.

Sasuke gave Naruto his deepest feelings, and now it was Naruto's turn to see what he would do with it.

☀︎

Even though Sasuke left almost immediately after Gaara came in, Naruto ended up being alone anyway since Gaara left, he had just come in to get something. That boy is kind of aversive to everyone, but Naruto is a bit determined to at least get Gaara to tolerate him. But that's a problem for another time.

He partially wanted to text Sasuke to continue what they were talking about. But he knew they should probably talk about this in person tomorrow like they said. So, Naruto was alone in his thoughts. His work was still where he left it and he knew he wouldn't be able to focus on it or anything else until he figured his shit out.

Sasuke admitted that he liked him and that he came all the way over here for him. But it must have been some crazy coincidence that he chose this college specifically. Especially since Naruto ghosted him before he even knew where he was going officially.

He always thought Sasuke would be all the way at that prestigious college where his brother went, where Naruto couldn't even dream of being able to attend. But here he was instead.

"Would you rather I not be here?"

No, that wasn't it. That wasn't it at all, he was just processing. Sasuke's here. Ok great. What now? Where do they go from here?

It's still hard to truly grasp that Naruto knows him. He knows this boy. Sasuke was communicating with him constantly every day, and there were things he'd say that he probably hasn't told anyone else. But Naruto has never had a face to the name before. Words were the only tangible thing.

He needs a second.

Sasuke wasn't lying though, he is attractive. Naruto acknowledged it when he first saw him initially, but he really gets it now. When he was close to him, he saw something closer to perfection than he's ever seen. Looking into his eyes was something he's eager to do again.
How do his eyes light up when he's truly happy? How does Sasuke look when he's affected by something he says? Naruto wants to know it all.

"Sasuke."

The face finally meets the person in his head. Clicking into place as if he always knew.

Naruto's spoken his name aloud more times than one. He's found himself unable to keep this boy only to himself and mentioned him even to his friends the senior year before. Shikamaru was starting to think Sasuke wasn't even real considering they've never seen him, and Naruto didn't want to exactly say that he lived super far away. He also didn't want to disclose how exactly they met, and Naruto couldn't even accurately describe what he looked like either. So when he'd try to tell someone something funny or witty Sasuke would say, it wasn't believable to them that this Sasuke was a real person.

So eventually he kept Sasuke in his thoughts, and he became a person he couldn't share with anyone else. It's hard to like someone like that.

It used to be frustrating that he didn't know what the boy looked like. He just wanted an image in his head, someone to imagine behind the screen. Would he smile at that stupid joke Naruto typed? What did he look like if he did?

The boy supposedly hated ramen but loved tomatoes. Like that wasn't weird as hell. He's interesting. Naruto would dare to say he cares about Sasuke more than anyone else in his life. Parents included even if he feels some type of way about that.

He's never been close to anyone like this. He knew that. So why couldn't he say that to his face? Why couldn't he own up to it too? He knew how he felt, it's why he ghosted him in the first place. He made it so he didn't have to think about it because he already knew. Why would he say he didn't know when he did?

Naruto puts a pillow over his head in frustration. Swimming in his thoughts was bound to get him drowned.

He knew what he had to do, and there was really no use in delaying any longer. He decides to open his phone and contact Sasuke the way they used to. He's decided. This movement used to be a habit, his fingers still have not forgotten.

Naruto: Do you want to go on a date with me?
Naruto: We can continue our discussion then.

Sasuke: When?

Naruto: Tmrw

Sasuke: Where?

Naruto: That's a surprise

Sasuke: I hate surprises

Only Sasuke would say he hates surprises. Naruto already knows he doesn't like not knowing things.

Naruto: I bet you'll love this one

Sasuke: Nvm I think I already know what it is

Naruto doesn't doubt that Sasuke probably already knows, but he's going to do his best to make it great anyway.

☽

Sasuke was well aware that living with Shisui was going to be completely different from living with his parents. He didn't know what to expect but one of the things that ended up surprising him was just how caring Shisui was. Sasuke wondered if he had to make a conscious effort to do so, or if it came naturally to him. If it did, he might need to teach the rest of the family something.

Shisui asked him questions like how his day was, or how his classes were. They had conversations about topics that Sasuke would normally consider mundane, but since Shisui always seemed to actually be interested in his answer, Sasuke found it nice to talk to him.

If he wasn't interested, he surely did a good job of pretending. Sasuke didn't think anyone could pretend this long though, because he was consistently in a good mood. Even Naruto didn't have such a bright take on everything. He sure came close though.

Shisui is 24, and Sasuke notices very quickly that he has his life together. He's smart but it's not completely obvious, almost hidden by his humble and bright demeanor. Shisui works at a large tech company, and he makes more money than he would admit. There's no way he could afford this apartment without making a good amount of money. The location and size was too good for just an average guy.

Sometimes Shisui works from home, he doesn't even have to show up at the office if he doesn't want to. He probably can't do that frequently, but it's enough for Sasuke to realize that not only is Shisui an asset to his company, but he's also good enough that they are willing to accommodate him and not the other way around.

Sasuke vaguely remembers reading something about geniuses being messy because their thoughts are all scattered or whatever. He wonders how credible that is when he sees Shisui who is a major clean freak. Sasuke sees him do the laundry constantly as if he can't bear to see dirty clothes for an extended period of time. Something he finds this incredibly excessive since the laundromat is kind of far, he'd rather just do a big load once every week or even two. Shisui goes twice a week.

He's also dedicated an entire closet to cleaning supplies, and has written a schedule and taped it to the fridge displaying how often to clean what. Sasuke helps out, as is his obligation, but Shisui takes care of more than half of it without complaint. Besides, they keep up a routine anyway so it isn't that difficult. At some point, Sasuke realizes maybe it's just Shisui's upbringing that has made him this much of a neat freak because Itachi is pretty much the same way.

Sasuke himself was never this obsessive, but his cousin has been rubbing off on him and his room is never messy now. Save for his desk which has papers strewn about and pens around as well.

He subconsciously decides that Shisui is his benchmark for how he should act. With the way it seems he has his life put together, Sasuke realizes he'd like that too. But he's far from it.

His cousin is very easy to get along with. He exercises cooks his own meals and is actually good at it, to other people, Shisui must seem insufferable.

Sasuke also underestimated how much of a friendship Shisui has with Itachi. He heard him on the phone when he came home one day. He assumed it was a friend, then he got closer and heard his brother's voice.

"That's Itachi?" Sasuke says almost in disbelief, it's not like his brother ever called him.

"Yea, you want to say hi?" Shisui is either completely oblivious to Sasuke's annoyance and slight anger or he's choosing to ignore it.

"No, not really," Sasuke says, and now it's definitely obvious how he feels about it. He heads to the bathroom to shower. Pretending he doesn't care if his cousin has a closer relationship to his brother than he does. He hears Shisui laugh at something Itachi must have said, which is also baffling considering the way Sasuke remembers him, Itachi can't tell a joke to save his life.

What the hell did Itachi say and why did Sasuke want to be in on the joke too? Itachi never calls him, and if they're really that close, then Itachi must know he's living with Shisui right? What does he think about that? The fact that he chose his own path to do what he wanted? Does Itachi think him stupid or is he proud?

"I don't fucking care what he thinks." Sasuke has to assure himself as he looks in the mirror. His thoughts feel pathetic, he should just be focusing on the present, what he's doing. Not what other people think about it, especially not Itachi.

It's the last he thinks of their friendship really, and he doesn't let it bother him. They're closer in age that's probably why. Shisui is cool, and Sasuke...isn't. That's not his fault Itachi doesn't care enough to want to talk to him.

"Shisui, I'm gonna be out later today," He mentions vaguely in the midafternoon before heading to his noon to 2 pm class. Shisui's home, some code on the desktop is visible while he's not even working on it. He's in the living room playing video games. Sometimes he's just like a teenager and that's nice to see considering how high functioning and responsible he is the rest of the time.

"Alright," He answers. Sasuke just feels it's a nice courtesy to let him know. He doesn't have to give him any details. Which is great, and he's still not entirely used to it since his parents would grill him about fucking school field trips. Well, mainly his mom.

Now here he is going on a date with his best friend and he's not obligated to tell another soul. It's nice.

*

The surprise was–not surprisingly–a ramen place. Sasuke met up with Naruto after class, and they walked straight to Ichiraku from their meeting point. Sasuke didn't know the way there, and he followed Naruto standing next to him as they walked.

It was the late afternoon, the air was a little chilly for this time of year, and the sun wasn't even down yet. Sasuke assumed it would be by the time they got back. The walk was longer than he anticipated and Naruto talked most of the way. Sasuke didn't mind. Though when Naruto spoke about the place, it sounded like he's been going for a really long time. Since he was a kid. Maybe this place is close to his childhood home?

Sasuke figured Naruto must have had a particular connection to it, with the number of times he sent a photo of his ramen bowl from this place. Talking about 'what he was missing.' Naruto had also dubbed this place a 100/10. Needless to say, Sasuke's expectations were through the roof with all of this talk.

It was a quaint little restaurant. If you were looking at the restaurant's floor plan, it would be a rectangle with more length than width. The seating area was small, and the place could probably seat a maximum of 12 people. Maybe more if they got more chairs and everyone was shoved close to each other.

The majority of space was dedicated to the kitchen itself. Sasuke only got a peek of the kitchen through curtains leading to the back. Counterspace separated the customer from the kitchen, and there was currently no one at the front.

Sasuke knew that if he was not walking with Naruto down this very same street, he would have passed right by this place. No tourist would be coming here, it has a charm that only locals knew of and none of the instagramable optics other places had closer to the college.

When they stepped inside, the smell of broth was prominent. It was faint on the way there but once Sasuke steps inside it's so strong he's not just hungry he's instantly starving.

"Hey, Naruto!" A man, Sasuke automatically assumes is the owner greets them. He's wearing a white apron and a hat with no brim. He walks up to the counter and waves at Naruto and gives a smile to Sasuke when his eyes meet his, "I see you've brought a friend with you!"

"This is Sasuke," Naruto introduces, and brings Sasuke closer to him with a side hug, making Sasuke visibly shocked at the movement. He doesn't pull away though.

"Hi," Sasuke says simply, feeling a little bit out of his comfort zone, and Naruto lets him go as they sit down.

He has no doubt he's going to like this place. Instant ramen actually isn't that bad. He might have exaggerated slightly to get on Naruto's nerves, but it was always salty to him. However. this restaurant is in a league of its own, it's been here a while, and there are photos on the wall showing that it's probably been here for around three generations.

"It's about time you've brought someone!" The man is cheerful, and he asks what they'll have. He doesn't look like he'll be writing any of this down, Sasuke would be surprised if the owner didn't already know what Naruto wanted. Unless Naruto orders something different every time.

At some point, Naruto's hand finds Sasuke's under the table. Sasuke wasn't accustomed to hand holding, but Naruto just grabbed his hand and Sasuke didn't push him away cause it felt rather nice for him to hold it.

"I'll take one miso ramen," Naruto says. Sasuke looks around, there's not even a menu for the small place, it's as if you're just supposed to know what to order. Maybe he has to ask what they have? Naruto looks to Sasuke to silently ask if he wants him to order on his behalf. Sasuke shrugs so Naruto restates, "Actually I'll take two."

"You got it." The man is pretty amused by this.

"You're going to be blown away."

Sasuke finds it hard not to smile at that kind of enthusiasm. Almost as though his joy rubs off on him. A woman behind the counter hands Naruto and Sasuke their order after a couple of minutes.

"Yes!" Naruto whisper-yells happily as he takes his bowl. Sasuke's just about to jump right in but is halted by Naruto.

"Wait!"

"What?" Sasuke asks, looking at Naruto's face. This is what he's been talking about for the entire twenty-minute walk to get here, and Sasuke's hungry.

"I want a picture," He says as he shuffles to get his phone from his pocket. His eyes are bright, almost pleading. It is rather endearing, and Sasuke cannot say no.

"Come on," Sasuke groans as he rolls his eyes. But complies anyway. Not taking a bite quite yet.

"Pose with the noodles. Yep like that–"

Naruto holds the phone up, and Sasuke positions himself so that he's not looking at the camera, and posing as though he's about to take the first bite. The heat of the broth warms his face as he is over it. This is a bit dumb, but he humors the boy. Fighting the urge to fix his hair when it falls to the side of his face as he looks down. He's frozen until Naruto puts the phone down with a satisfied grin.

"Perfect," Naruto says almost a bit in awe. "This is my first photo of you, I'm going to make a ' Sasuke album' right now."

"You're so ridiculous," Sasuke mutters, but finding it a bit flattering that Naruto's saving photos of him. Especially since he may or may not have saved the photos Naruto sent him. He takes the first taste of his ramen noodles. It was hot as hell, but this place has no insulation whatsoever, so it warmed him right up while simultaneously burning his tongue in the process.

"How is it?!" Naruto asks him eagerly.

"It's..." Sasuke pretends to think about it as if it could be any other word besides, "Delicious."

Naruto finished his bowl incredibly quickly, as though he had a time limit. Then to Sasuke's surprise, he orders another bowl and finishes it just as quickly. Sasuke was satisfied with just one bowl, and they paid for what they ate. Naruto pays the tip and he's generous with it saying he needs to make up for the free bowls he'd get as a kid.
During the walk back, it's a bit colder than earlier which Sasuke expected since the sun went down. It's really nothing too bad. If anything the light breeze is refreshing. Naruto's a bit of a fast walker as if he can't slow things down ever. Though, when Sasuke stops forcing himself to keep up, Naruto ends up slowing his pace down to match his. Sasuke almost doesn't notice when Naruto's hand finds his again.

"I don't know anything about this..." Sasuke says rather awkwardly, moving his hand that holds Naruto's without separating. "Dating thing."

It feels a bit fast to hold hands, and somewhat exposing too. He who lived his whole life in the closet, now being able to just hold hands feels like a big step. He has to remind himself that no one cares here. He's not in a small town anymore. When he gets over it he knows that he likes holding Naruto's hand.

"I know," Naruto says, "I'm not that experienced either so there's really nothing to worry about. We don't even have to call it anything."

Sasuke isn't quite sure how to feel about that. He feels the most comfortable around Naruto than anyone else, even Shisui who he likes living with. He likes the idea of calling it something official. He wants it even though he doesn't really know what that entails. What does it mean to be a boyfriend to another boy anyway? His only actual example for relationships was straight media and his parents which he knew he shouldn't even consider a good measure.

"I think, if you want, I'd like to call it something." Sasuke is a bit noncommittal in his statement and leaves an opening for Naruto to refuse.

Was it too fast to call it anything? Sasuke didn't think it was, but it was up to Naruto. What if he's not comfortable with that? But the idea of Naruto seeing other people while they worked whatever they were out was definitely not appealing. He likes this closeness with him, even if it's something as simple as holding hands, being in the same proximity was pleasant. He wants more than that too. But he'll think about the 'more' later.

"I think I'd like that too." Naruto says, and Sasuke's pretty relieved at that. "Since, I really like you, Sasuke."

*

"You look happy," Shisui's voice teases Sasuke when he enters. He's still on the couch when he gets home. But Sasuke knows he must have moved since there's a smell of food in the air, indicating he must have cooked some food, and he's on his phone now instead of playing video games.

"I just hung out with a friend," Sasuke says, trying to be casual about it, his demeanor is anything but. He really can't stop smiling. He's giddy about where he is with Naruto and he feels confident in his ability to take things further now.

"Hm," He says simply, not believing it is the only thing Shisui says in response. That's the most like Itachi he's been so far.

☀︎

Naruto and Sasuke spend more time together as the weeks pass. Weeks turn into a month, and both know the other's schedule at this point. Sasuke finds time for himself of course since Naruto is a bit too energetic for him sometimes. But Naruto is always on his mind.

He learns more things about Naruto that he wouldn't have been able to learn before. Such as how Naruto has this incapability to sit still, and when he does, he fidgets. Sasuke casually mentioned that he might have some sort of attention deficit disorder or something, and Naruto just shrugged his shoulders. If he does, no one noticed enough of anything when he was younger to check him out. Naruto chuckles and moves on.

Naruto said something a while ago, and Sasuke now knows this is true. He does underestimate him. The skills he lacks in math and some sciences are just poor measurements for his intelligence.

Naruto's good at problem-solving and rational thinking when it comes to certain dilemmas and was almost offended when Sasuke couldn't help his complete shock when Naruto did more than decent on his psychology exam and ethical studies thesis. Especially since on the latter assignment, he complained to Sasuke at 11 am that he still had yet to start it. So it was a miracle he even turned it on time, and then to get a great grade on it? Sasuke acknowledged then that he underestimated him pretty significantly.

Though, he won't go asking him for help with his Advanced Calculus anytime soon.

They spent much time together either on campus or at Naruto's dorm room. Sasuke was forced to interact with Gaara a couple of times. Sasuke had a bad impression of him ever since he introduced himself that day. Naruto insists Gaara isn't "that bad" though, so he tries to give the boy the benefit of the doubt. It isn't working.

"Hey, do you wanna get out of here?" Naruto suggests one day when they're in his dorm room.

Gaara's there but if he's here whenever they are doing work, he'll have his headphones in. The music is usually really loud that Sasuke can hear faint sounds from it even when he's some feet away.

"And go where...?" Sasuke asks unsure, but he is ready to leave the dorm room anyway. It was small and they only came here out of convenience.

Sasuke wasn't sure how he felt about bringing Naruto to his apartment yet. It would also be kind of convenient since it's close to campus. There was always a chance Shisui could see them as the more than friends that they were.

With how close Shisui was to Itachi, Sasuke wasn't sure if he wanted to risk the chance Shisui could catch on, and then suddenly his whole family will find out. He might have been overthinking it but he still wasn't sure.

"The roof," Naruto answers, putting on a light jacket.

"Seriously?" Sasuke says, but he gets up anyway, a bit curious.

They take the stairs at the end all the way up, and the roof is blocked by a heavy metal door.

There is a sign on the door that reads:

NO-ENTRY

Sasuke gets a bit more wary after reading it, but Naruto pulls out a key to the roof. It takes him a second to make the door click and unlock.

"Are you sure about this?" Sasuke asks now he's really unsure. He wasn't a rule breaker and never was. So this felt rather sketchy to him. He trusted Naruto though.

"They stopped letting students come up here 'cause of the number of suicides. But people come up here all the time anyway," Naruto says and gestures to the trash on the roof. There are mostly empty drinks, like three empty beer bottles off to the side, and some soda cans. Sasuke wonders why people just couldn't be bothered to throw their shit out.

"The janitor doesn't come up here often to clean it up, since technically students shouldn't be here," Naruto walks to the edge of the roof and takes a seat on the ledge His knees bent over the edge of the building. He's so blatantly unafraid of the possibility of falling off.

"How do you have a key to the door?"

"I know someone," Naruto says cryptically. Sasuke looks at him for a second longer to show he isn't gonna deal with bullshit like that. "...Got it from Kiba."

"Wow, wonder where he got it from," Sasuke says rhetorically, and he sits down right next to Naruto. His legs dangle over the edge in the same way, but he feels slightly more scared than Naruto looks. He wonders if Naruto can tell. He probably can.

Sasuke ends up looking down from his position. Taking a deep breath he calms himself, he knows nothing bad will happen anyway. He's not actually scared of the height. He's more scared of the thought that comes to his mind saying, 'I could just jump right now.' Not that he would. He doesn't consider himself suicidal by any measure, but the thought of the very real fact that he can do it right now shakes him a bit. His mangled body on the sidewalk would not be a pretty sight.

Naruto doesn't seem to share the same sort of anxiousness at this. He doesn't seem to have any sort of care about whether anyone sees them here at all either.

Sasuke looks at the buildings around them, some windows on and some are off. It creates a mosaic of yellow and deep blue reflecting the sky. The night sky is illuminated only by the moon and the stars in the sky are nowhere to be seen.

Naruto's voice pulls him from his thoughtful gaze at the world around him and slams him into the present.

"Are you out to your parents?"

"No."

Sasuke doesn't have any immediate desire to tell them either. They wouldn't find out about his relationship with Naruto unless he told them, they were nowhere near here.

"Are you?" Sasuke asks him now. He thinks he already knows the answer though.

Naruto doesn't speak right away after that. As if thinking.

"No. But I almost told them when I left. They were acting like I was never going to see them again or whatever. I couldn't ruin the moment...they were both happy and it's kinda a rare thing."

"Well it's not like they have to know," Sasuke says, a bit lightheartedly, but he knows that probably wasn't well-received.

"I want them to." Naruto's firm in his resolve. "If I start this with you for real, I want to be honest with them. I think it's important."

"I think you should also be honest with your own parents too," Naruto continues, "But that's your decision, not mine."

"I think if we do start something..." Sasuke continued with Naruto's vague statement of their thing, "I owe it to you to be public about it, and I can't do that if they don't know."

Naruto senses no small amount of determination in his words. He knows Sasuke's serious about this, just as serious as he is. He knows his parents weren't as involved but he doesn't believe they'd be unaccepting of him over this.

Sasuke is different, he grew up in a small town, and Naruto knows just how much his father values the traditional. He expected less determination and more uneasiness surrounding this topic, he didn't expect Sasuke to come to a conclusion about it this quickly.

"I plan on speaking to my parents about it in two months over that break we have." Naruto says, showing how much thought he's actually put into this, "Though I won't do it on the holiday, in case things go badly I still want to be able to enjoy that if I can."

He laughs but it's a bit forced.

"I think that's a good plan." Sasuke likes that idea, "I think I'd be willing to do that as well, especially since it's only a weekend and I'll be back here soon."

"I want to tell my mom." Sasuke says with finality. Naruto knows that Sasuke doesn't have such a great relationship with his parents but he has said he preferred his mother over his father any day. So it makes sense he'd lean towards her for support as opposed to his father or even his older brother.

Although Sasuke seems absolutely sure of this now, he's not truly certain that he'll be ready to tell them anything by then in one month. He doesn't have to bring up Naruto, but he can certainly start by saying the fact that he won't ever marry a woman.

"Okay, so in one month," Naruto looks at him, holding out his hand for Sasuke to take, "We will tell them and whatever happens, we will be there for each other."

"Yes," Sasuke nods in agreement. The topic comes to a close and he decides to ask a different question entirely now.

"So...what are you doing here?" Sasuke gestures to the college around them. Another way of asking what does Naruto see in his future that he chose to attend this place?

"I'm going to become a social worker," Naruto says, sure of himself and his goal. He likes the look on Sasuke's face when he says that.

"Really?" It's not condescending or in disbelief, it's a surprised, almost elated reaction.

Sasuke's sure it's a nice feeling, being so sure of something. He's glad Naruto has that. He deserves to have that.

"Helping kids and all that, getting them out of bad situations. I think that would be nice, it's what I want to do." Naruto's got a lot of joy, but it's easier to see now that there's sadness there too. There always was and Naruto's shown it to him before, but being around him, just makes Sasuke feel for him more. It's easier to see the pain when they're there, even when it's not fully described to you in words, you can feel it.

He looks at the few people still on campus, they look so small compared to being up here, almost all of his problems seem small when given a little perspective.

"We talked for a while, but you never told me what your childhood was like," Sasuke remembers the slightly concerning red flags he never pried Naruto for answers for.

"Eh it was nothing special," Naruto shrugs.

Sasuke can tell he really believes that. But whether it was nothing special was definitely a lie to him. He felt there was nothing about Naruto that he didn't want to know.

Naruto takes a glance at Sasuke's face, he clearly wants more. He's not just anyone, so Naruto decides if anyone should know, it's him.

"I mean it's really not that bad. It's just my parents weren't there like they were either arguing with each other or fucking or something, it kind of felt like I was an afterthought."

Sasuke can relate to feeling like an afterthought, but he knows it wasn't the same. He felt like an afterthought compared to his brother. But it wasn't as though his parents didn't think about him, they were actually overly invested in how he did and always compared him to Itachi. He was never just his own person. He was the sequel to Itachi's story whereas Naruto didn't even get his own in his parents' life. It was always about them.

"Did you ever tell them how you felt?"

"Of course not. It's not like they were ever going to change. So I left as soon as I could. It's not like they were terrible parents, but I just couldn't stand their shit any longer."

Sasuke has nothing to say to that, not because he doesn't know how to comfort people. Truthfully that's something he's not that good at, but he feels like silent understanding is better than any words he can come up with to say.

After some more silence, Naruto leans on Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke still says nothing as he brings an arm around him to pull him closer.

They have a silent understanding that they'd just like to keep alive in the darkness.

☽

Meeting in Naruto's dorm or just around campus wasn't enough at some point and Sasuke got a bit careless in his endeavors. He knew he didn't want Shisui to find out about his relationship with Naruto, but they were becoming a bit less reserved around each other, and there was something Sasuke wanted to do that he knew he definitely didn't want to be seen by Naruto's roommate.

So, he got a bit careless and let Naruto come over at the last minute when he was home and Shisui wasn't. He was becoming a bit too eager.

It felt sort of secretive--because it was. He didn't feel guilty about it, well maybe slightly, since Shisui was always nice to him and only asked for a heads up. It's not like he's a child and needs explicit permission. He decided to text him anyway before Naruto came, to let him know someone was here. Shisui would likely still be gone by the time Naruto left and none of his anxieties over it would matter anyway.

"I've been wanting to see your place!" Naruto's a bit excited when he steps in. Sasuke humors him with a house tour, the whole 1,100 square feet. It doesn't take very long.

"Not my place really, but there's the kitchen, living room, Shisui's room—don't go in there, and bathroom."

"Your kitchen is pretty big for a place around here," Naruto says with a little bit of awe, proceeding to open the fridge to inspect its contents with child-like excitement. Sasuke can't deny that's kind of cute.

"Shisui likes to cook."

"Do you?"

"It's a necessity." So no, not really. "I'd cook for you, but me or Shisui needs to go grocery shopping soon so there's not much in the apartment."

"I'm not that hungry anyway," Naruto says, turning away from being a bit nosy looking at everything. Naruto looks at Sasuke and he can't place exactly why he's looking at him like that, "How long did you say your cousin would be gone?"

"He's at work so..." He drags it out slightly as Naruto comes closer, he sneaks a glance at the time, "4 hours or less."

Sasuke can't tell if Naruto's insinuating or not, but either way, his heart picks up as the seconds pass.

"What do you want to do?" Sasuke asks him, trying not to appear affected. There's no reason for him to be a little nervous or overly anticipating anything. It's just Naruto. In his apartment, with certainty that they'd be alone for hours.

"I kind of want to see your room."

Sasuke leads the way.

"This is my room, it's not as clean as the rest of the house but still better than my old room back at home," Sasuke picks up some things that were out of place as Naruto looks around. Sasuke doesn't mind him being overly nosy here, it's not like he's in possession of anything too crazy or weirdly perverted.

"Aww is this little Sasuke?" Naruto finds a stack of old family photos in a drawer. Sasuke's mother gave him a stack of them to put around his room or whatever and he never got around to it. He's slightly embarrassed as he holds up a family photo with him as a little kid. His father looks as uninterested as ever, and even Itachi does too despite not even being a teenager yet. Mikoto and Sasuke are the only ones smiling. Sasuke doesn't even remember why or when that picture was taken.

"Okay, I want to keep this," A middle school photo of Sasuke in his graduation cap and gown. The school took that shit way too seriously if he remembers correctly. But he also remembers being upset that his parents didn't show. Sasuke doesn't remember who took the photo, could be a teacher for all he knew. He looks way less happy in this one, but Naruto assumes it's for the stubbornness of not wanting to take a photo.

"Alright alright, hand that back!" Sasuke's had enough of Naruto looking through at slightly embarrassing and definitely not flattering pictures of himself and his family.

"Make me," Naruto mocks, as he holds the photos above his head.

Naruto isn't super tall, Sasuke is around his height, it would have been more effective if Naruto was taller by a larger margin.

He just doesn't want Naruto to look at all of the photos, he's pretty sure there is one of Itachi just poking his head when he's a baby or something and his mother thought that was the cutest thing ever. He doesn't want Naruto to say that's cute or say any of them are because they're really not. He didn't even want them here, but his mom packed them and he can't get rid of them without feeling shitty about it.

Sasuke pushes Naruto against his bed with all the force he can, and Naruto almost doesn't fall back, but he does so on purpose since Sasuke doesn't have the ability to pick himself back up if Naruto falls. He pushed Naruto too hard without thinking of his own footing, and he can't even grab all the photos anyway since they scattered and fell on the floor.

Naruto can't help but smile in this mischievous way when he sees the compromising position Sasuke has put himself in.

"This is a nice view." He muses, his hands find the sides of Sasuke's body which is on top of him.

"That was the most fuck boy thing you've ever said."

"Can't be the most ever." Naruto emphasizes jokingly, but there's a still air and Sasuke feels his breath stop as Naruto's go to his thighs.

"Kiss me," Naruto doesn't make an effort to sit up, since he can't, and Sasuke doesn't feel like leaning down so much either. So he gets off Naruto and he's relieved at it honestly. He felt hot, with Naruto touching him suggestively. It was going to give him a heart attack, but he couldn't tell him to stop.

Though he was relieved to be sitting on the bed to avoid Naruto's hands, that didn't mean he wasn't going to kiss him. That's precisely what he wanted Naruto over for, they're taking things at a nice pace. Sasuke doesn't feel the need to rush things and since there is no real benchmark to judge their own relationship by. He does what makes him feel comfortable, and Naruto doesn't ever ask more and Sasuke doesn't ask more of him.

"Come here," Sasuke says low enough that he's not even sure Naruto can hear him completely. He complies anyway, shifting closer to him.

It's a bit hard to believe that they've only met in person over a month and a half ago. Sasuke sees Naruto and all he sees are the things that make him appealing, not just his appearance but he's stupidly funny, and he's got this endearing quality about him that uplifts Sasuke's world just by being in it.

"Sasuke," He liked the way his name sounds when he says it.

"Naruto," He's expectant, he's not whispering, not demanding, waiting.

Naruto holds Sasuke's face in his hands looking at him closely as if to burn the image of it in his mind. Sasuke looks into those blue eyes of his, wondering how they could be so vibrant and endless.

Sasuke closes his eyes to feel Naruto's mouth against his as he kisses him.

Warmth spreads from the kiss on his lips to his body entirely. Again. Naruto pulls away after one long deep kiss, but Sasuke isn't done with him yet and he places a hand on the back of Naruto's head not even realizing he's doing it. Then Naruto kissed him again, and again.

They get more impatient and more wanting. The gentle kisses become more forceful and filled with more to be left desired.

Sasuke's hand trails to the side of Naruto's neck, lowering from his soft hair, he just wants to touch him as he kisses him. He had wanted to feel his body for a long time, and it seems the kisses have unlocked his prohibitions.

"Sasuke! You home?" Shisui's voice calls out faintly from the haze of his own creation. Sasuke jumps, pushing Naruto away from him and Sasuke hears the keys being thrown on the marble counter and the door closes.

Shit shit shit! His mind goes into overdrive. He's mostly so upset he was wrong about Shisui not being at work for longer. He knows his cousin's schedule so why was he here early? Sasuke hears the sound of cabinets opening and shuffling in the kitchen. He must have brought groceries.

Sasuke isn't going to pretend like he's not home, so he opens the door to call out to his cousin.

"Yeah?" Sasuke says and he looks for Naruto. He can't even hide him anywhere since he has to leave from the front door. Not including the fact that Sasuke did tell Shisui that he was going to have a friend over, Shisui didn't reply so he just assumed he was busy.

"Oh, I didn't see your message you got a friend over?" Sasuke's in the hallways now, and Shisui must have left his phone here or something for him to say he didn't see the message.

"Yeah—uh, this is Naruto," Sasuke pulls Naruto from his room, letting go before Shisui can actually see that.

What if Shisui sees the bullshit for what it is. Would he actually see it anyway? Would he confront him about it? Shisui's smart, but maybe he's worrying for nothing. It's not like he can see through walls and saw them making out two minutes earlier.

"Hi," Naruto says and Sasuke wonders if that's how he sounded when speaking to the ramen shop owner.

Naruto has heard Sasuke talk about Shisui before, seems like he's pretty cool, and less stuffy than the rest of his family anyway. But being in his house showed him that Shisui was kind of a big deal, or at least felt that way especially since he's seen apartments around here not all of them are this nice. Then Sasuke borderline brags about how smart his cousin is. He doesn't want to ruin this with Sasuke by having his cousin find out before Sasuke even has a chance to tell him or anything else

"We met at the beginning of the year." Sasuke tries to sound as casual as humanly possible. He's not sure if it works. It's a pretty big lie if you omit the basic fact that they met online and if you consider them meeting at the beginning of the year to be a meeting at all. They really met when Sasuke confessed but he's not telling all of that to Shisui. Probably ever.

"Really?" Shisui sounds—fuck Sasuke can't even tell. What the hell is going on in his head and why does Sasuke think he's already been found out. Hardly anything happened?!

"Well I'm going to make dinner, you're welcome to stay if you like," Shisui offers, and he's really nice about it, that Naruto almost accepts, but Sasuke gives him a look of 'fuck no' and Naruto can't read lips but he can definitely get the vibes off of that.

"Yeah, I'm not that hungry, and I was going to leave soon anyway," Naruto says, and Sasuke can feel all hope of fooling Shisui going right out the window. He could have said something different? Changed the way he said that? Made it sound more convincing?

Naruto leaves in a hurry, and he forgets his jacket on the hook next to the door. Sasuke doesn't bother to run to bring it to him, and he knows once Naruto realizes he forgot it, he's not coming back for it now.

"So...when did you get a boyfriend."

Shisui doesn't even sugarcoat it. That whole interaction was a train wreck.

"Naruto is not my boyfriend," Sasuke says slightly defensively.

"Could have fooled me," Shisui says.

Then after a long second of nothing, this makes both of them laugh. How could that have gone so terribly bad?

Shisui doesn't even make a big deal, as if it was pretty casual. Sasuke didn't have to say "I'm gay," or anything and he took it as it was. It was kind of serene how Sasuke felt after that. Even though Shisui wasn't the most important person he wanted to tell, he was one of them. Living with him during this drastic change in his life made him care about his cousin more and more. This reaction was what Sasuke wanted the most and he didn't even realize it.

*

When the time came to visit his parents, he knew they wouldn't be as agreeable as Shisui was. It was surprising enough to him that Shisui was, so he's not expecting a reaction like that from his parents. He's hoping for the bare minimum at least, and for them to at least attempt to understand. But he truly has no idea how they'll react, it's not like he knows their opinions on this topic since he wouldn't dare to bring it up when he was younger. He was too afraid of being confronted when he knew who he was.

"I'll see you in a couple of days," Sasuke says before he goes. But it might even be sooner if this turns out even worse than he expected.

Sasuke waves goodbye to Naruto as he heads into the airport. He wishes Naruto would stay with him for the two hours he has to wait, but he can't. He also kind of wishes Naruto would come with him all the way but he definitely doesn't want his parents meeting Naruto. Further down the line...maybe. But that's if it turns out they don't hate him.

It's the first time he's going home in 3 months. A lot has happened and he feels almost like a different person. He's going back for the holidays since his mom was all over him about it, and she even said Itachi is going to be there. As if that would encourage him.

He's going anyway, with low expectations. If he learns there's extended family coming then the bar is even lower. He's glad he's only going to be there for a weekend and not longer. When he comes back he will have much for free time with Naruto than he did before. He's taking one class for the winter semester since it's shorter than the fall and springtime.

Naruto told him he was a bit crazy for trying to take two in a one-month semester, so he toned it down a bit. It's going to be a breeze since it's literally just an online English class. He got credit for one English class from his high school but apparently for his major he needs two, just so they make sure he can read apparently.

As he waits for the plane, he's determined to stay in the waiting area, if he looks around he's going to spend money and he's trying to save up for something. He also doesn't have a charger for his phone, so he's trying not to use it. So as of now, he's dying of boredom. He'd fall asleep if he knew that no one would steal his luggage.

Naruto texts him but Sasuke knows there's no way he's at his house yet. It hasn't been long enough

Naruto: Did you find the terminal?

Sasuke: Yeah
Sasuke: You better not be texting and driving.

Naruto: I'm not driving right now.
Naruto: It's a red light

Sasuke: If you get in a car crash I'll kill you

Naruto: I think the car crash will do that just fine

Sasuke: ...
Sasuke: Drive safely pls
Sasuke: Imma stop texting you now.

When he's finally in the air, he thinks about how he should really stop leaning on Naruto all the time as his pillar of support. He's not going to completely stop, but maybe for this weekend, he shouldn't be texting him the whole time since Naruto has his own issues to deal with. He has to talk to his parents too, Sasuke feels that he shouldn't make this all about him now.

But then he's had 6 hours in the plane to ponder, and that thought pretty much goes out the window as soon as he lands and he's actually able to text Naruto now. He can't be bothered to remember what time it is over there. He's got a lot of things on his mind, and Naruto has this innate ability to keep him grounded when his mind is all scattered.

Sasuke: If I back out, will you be angry with me?
Sasuke: Or think I'm just a coward

Sasuke goes back into the habit of texting Naruto pretty much as soon as he's able to. He's on the ground now, and in a cab on his way to his old home. His mother called him a week in advance to make sure he was going and to tell him Itachi was also going to be there. His plan is beginning to get closer and he's starting to have second thoughts. He has to know if Naruto will think less of him if he chickens out. He won't chicken out, but he's getting more and more fearful of the outcome of the last day.

Naruto: Ofc not.
Naruto: If you don't feel safe, definitely do not.
Naruto: But from how you spoke about your mom she seems accepting.

Sasuke: I said I think, I don't really know.

Naruto: What's the worst that could happen?

That's probably not the best question to ask right about now because it causes Sasuke to think about the worst possibilities.

Sasuke: They could disown me then cut me off financially, tell everyone in the family and everyone abandons me

Naruto: Well goddamn
Naruto: Definitely only do it when you feel ready. Could be now or maybe not
Naruto: Are you there yet? It's been a while since I left you at the airport

Sasuke: In a cab heading there now
Sasuke: Flight was delayed so I am getting there just in time for dinner

Naruto: Is your brother going to be there?

Sasuke: Yeah

Naruto: How you feeling about that?

Sasuke: Not feeling anything in particular.
Sasuke: Haven't seen him in a really long time

Naruto: Yeah I remember your opinion of him not being that great

Sasuke: he's probably going to judge me

Naruto: you think so?

Sasuke sighs at that, some part of him wants to say no, that his brother would never do that, but he doesn't actually know. His brother's too distant that Sasuke doesn't even know if he's a bigot or not.

Sasuke: I don't know actually

When did Sasuke's childhood admiration of Itachi turn into something so callous?

Maybe sometime before he left, Sasuke was truly alone then, in the period before Naruto, but post-Itachi. He only had his parents and not only are they no comfort, they truly can't separate Itachi from Sasuke. So he always felt invisible.

Naruto: Well you always got me
Naruto: Even if things go south and you need someone there I'll help
Naruto: Or even if you don't tell at all it'll still be okay

Things aren't quite the same as they used to be. He supposed things have gotten better now, he's got Shisui, who talks more to him daily than Itachi and his parents ever did. He managed to make a few sort-of friends which is definitely an improvement from high school, and there's Naruto.

Sasuke's scared to come out, but there's also some part of him that wants to. Just for the possibility of being able to bring him home, and meet his parents. Sure, they might not like him, because Naruto can be pretty annoying sometimes, but they could accept him and the legitimacy of their relationship. Besides, Naruto's good at telling people what they want to hear in certain situations so maybe he could get them to like him.

Is it really so odd to want his boyfriend home to meet his family?

It was stupid to be so worked up over this, right? He shouldn't be so hesitant, so what if they didn't accept him, he'd figure it out...and it would all be fine.

It would all be fine.

"You're here, sir." The cab driver says as he looks into the mirror to the backseat.

Sasuke gets his wallet when he exits the car door. Sasuke didn't pack much considering he's only here for the weekend.

"Thank you," He says, and the driver's already on his way.

His house looks...different? Smaller, less unwelcoming. If Sasuke had not lived here almost all his life, this suburban house might have looked like a perfectly happy home. He's at the door, and stops himself from knocking right away. He hopes it's his mom who answers the door.

He knocks now. Maybe they should have given him keys and he wouldn't have to do this now actually. Just walk in unseen and...

"Hi," It's Itachi. His brother isn't shocked to see him, but not joyful about it either. Sasuke doesn't remember seeing him be joyful about anything though.

"Hi Itachi," Sasuke reciprocates Itachi's energy.

He sees that Itachi seems shorter than the last time he saw him. Wait–maybe he grew taller? He didn't even really notice. That feels so weird being closer to Itachi's height, but he was still taller than him anyway. Itachi really has been gone for years now hasn't he?

Itachi moves to the side to accommodate Sasuke. When he enters the home he immediately becomes incredibly warm. He takes off his coat, hangs it up. Before he can even find anyone he hears his mom.

"Sasuke hi!" His mother comes to him a minute after she sees him. Pulls him into a hug, and manages to mush his hair all around. Now he's got to fix that.

"Hi mom," He's somewhat happy to see her. His happiness isn't very overt though. He also wasn't expecting this much excitement at his presence either, it's nice.

"Come sit, dinner's almost ready. We were expecting you to come before Itachi but I know your flight got delayed."

"Yeah, it's a holiday so it's probably lucky I came today at all." He says it as a joke. No one else will catch the other meaning though.

Sasuke looks around, his father's not anywhere near the kitchen or dining room, maybe he's upstairs. He's not going to bother looking, he's sure to see him at the table later anyway.

"I'm gonna put my stuff away," Sasuke says, half announcing, and he brings his luggage back to his old room.

This part is strange. Has he really grown so much in the past three months that his old room looks foreign? Maybe it's the fact he packed some things away, but that can't be it. The room is largely untouched. There's some dust on the shelf, and his posters and some of his shitty artwork haven't been taken down.

He used to spend time here alone, a lot.

The small desk he used to do his homework at and talk to Naruto on his computer so if his parents came in they'd think he was doing homework. The bed he spent late hours in on the phone. Even calling Naruto one time, just so he could fall asleep feeling like someone cared about him. He was pretty much already down bad for the boy at that point.

"Sasuke."

He knows that voice.

"Hi, dad." He turns around as he says it. His father is in the hallway facing the door.

"Come down for dinner," Sasuke still remembers when sentences like that used to sound like an order. "Your mom missed you."

"I know," He had hoped she did and figured she would since both of her sons were gone now. But his dad doesn't seem to share the same sentiment, maybe he does...somewhere in his heart or whatever.

"Come, sit," Sasuke's mother places the food on the table.

"We have lots to talk about. I haven't seen you both together in a long time," she starts, and Sasuke gives a quick glance at Itachi who isn't looking at him.

The conversation continued to where Sasuke expected it to, with Mikoto asking them both questions about where they've been and what they've been doing, and how classes have been.
Sasuke has not seen Itachi in about three whole years since he left for college, sparse communication throughout in the form of a text message and a call from Sasuke that didn't go through.

He wasn't even that upset, he knew this would happen, his brother would leave him behind and change. At first, he felt like he should prove to his parents that he could be just as good as him. If not better.

But then Naruto came along, and he reminded him that he was his own person and that someone is out there who cares about him for the person he is individually. Not what he could become by trying to be like his brother.

Without even realizing it, Naruto changed his entire life.

"Sasuke, is there something wrong?" Mikoto looks at him and he comes to the present. He's at the table, and he just spaced out thinking about his brother, and then Naruto. He spares Itachi a glance but looks away. He's not going to give an explanation. Well, not the truth anyway.

"Just jet lag, you know?" Sasuke offers that explanation and it seems pretty acceptable. He's not even really sure what jet lag even is, and if you can get it a 6-hour flight. He's tired but not enough to blame it on the plane. If he's tired it's because he doesn't get enough sleep.

"You'll probably feel better tomorrow," She says, looking at her son for a bit longer.

Sasuke really does look older, even though it's only been a couple of months since she last saw him. He's changed. But she's been noticing a change in him during senior year at the earliest. She wonders what's going on in his head. But she's never been able to fully understand the Uchiha men in her life.

"How is living with Shisui?" She asks and Sasuke thinks for a moment. He doesn't want to say something insensitive like, 'Way better than here!' or something along those lines. Even if it was the truth.

"It's different," He settles on that vague word, "He's kind of a clean freak though."

"Yeah, Shisui was always kind of like that wasn't he?" Mikoto says to them but mostly Fugaku who hardly spoke the entire time.

"Yes, he was." Fugaku says. How can someone bring the whole mood down with a boring-ass sentence Sasuke will never understand.

"So, Sasuke, how is it going in college?"

He's seeing how hard she's working to keep the conversation flowing despite the complete lack of interest at the table. Sasuke feels bad and tries to at least continue and say more than a couple of words at a time.

"It's good, I got some credit from my high school courses which was nice, I thought they wouldn't take it." Sasuke tries to look for what to talk about.

Nothing much came to mind. He was constantly busy with work. The classes weren't exactly that hard but it did take up a lot of his time to study and write his notes. He was kind of meticulous about how they looked and Naruto did like to point out how his handwriting looked like it was printed, especially since all of the notes were written in black. He used to be kind of obsessed with how his writing looked since everyone told him it was shit when he was younger.

What has been occupying his mind the most even though he was busy, was Naruto. He looks forward to spending time with him more than anything else. Naruto seems to look forward to when they hang out together as well. They've gotten closer these past months than ever before considering they don't have any barriers between them...Except for this barrier right here. His parents.

Sasuke knows he has to tell them. His family should know, and he knows he'll feel better once they know.

Well he hopes, he doesn't really know.

"I've been doing things on my own and I think it's a good change," He doesn't know how to continue, so he ends it with that.

"I'm glad, I was worried initially when you said you wanted to go to school all the way across the country, I thought someone had influenced you or something, but you seem really happy about this." She looks happy, but it's almost melancholy.

"Are you staying until Sunday?"

"Yeah," Sunday, he will tell her on Sunday. He will take it from there.

"What about you Itachi?"

"No I'm leaving tomorrow," He says and doesn't bother to explain why.

"You should at least stay 'til Sunday, Sasuke's here."

Itachi looks at Sasuke for a moment, and he knows it's not just his inability to read people this time. Itachi just had a blank face as though he didn't care about anything.

"I guess I could stay until Sunday," He changes his mind.

"Itachi, how are your studies going." Fugaku asks his oldest son, and Sasuke almost cringed at the use of the word 'studies' to describe college. What is he 80?

Pretty much anything his father says Sasuke has some type of animosity towards.

Itachi doesn't answer right away, and it takes Sasuke just a moment to notice he hasn't.

"I've been...lying. To you both," He gets questionable looks from everyone at the table.

"I'm not signing up for the next semester."

Ok well, dinner is over.

If Fugaku wasn't so shocked he might have just started a yelling match right there. Instead it takes him a second to actually process. Sasuke knew if this were him, the tone would be completely different. His father is calm as he asks his next question.

"What do you mean by that?" He asks, almost giving time for Itachi to explain and backtrack on what he said.

"I'm dropping out," Just like that, he says exactly what he means.

Sasuke watches in awe at how his parents' vision for Itachi crumbled to dust. It's absolutely insane. Where's the popcorn for this event?

"What do you mean you are dropping out?! You're three years in! All that time, money wasted on what? What are you dropping out for hm? Did you get some girl pregnant—" His father's started attacking now. Sasuke feels no remorse for 'money wasted' considering their family certainly has enough to send Itachi to college three times over, and Itachi got a grant anyway too.

"Fugaku! Let him speak," she interrupts her husband, seeing as his assumptions were incredibly dramatic.

"I'm dropping out because I hate it."

Now, this is what surprises Sasuke the most. Itachi, the golden child, doesn't actually like it? He doesn't actually want this? Willing to give up the guarantee of a good future for...what exactly?

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Fugaku looks at Itachi for the first time ever—with contempt. As if the person sitting across from him is an imposter.

"Don't antagonize him, he's literally just telling you how he feels about this?" Sasuke speaks up, and Fugaku makes eye contact. It's almost as if he forgot his other son was even there. His father clearly can't see how much courage it must have taken Itachi to reveal this.

"Excuse me, this is a discussion between your brother and I," He tries to grab control.

"Not when you're speaking to him and looking at him like that." Sasuke won't let up. He's no longer a child. He doesn't even know exactly why he's defending Itachi. His father doesn't take kindly to his tone and choice of words for a second.

"You owe me respect—"

"I don't owe you shit," Sasuke can't stop himself from snarling, he's wanted to say this for a long time. For a second he thinks he's about to get slapped across the face with the fierce glare his father gives him. For that same second, he doesn't even care if his father does do it. But his mother's voice cuts through the tense air.

"Sasuke—" His mother tries to calm him. "I think we all need to settle down. Fugaku gets up from the table and doesn't even help clean. Sasuke doesn't remember him ever helping actually throughout his entire life. Definitely some "I'm the breadwinner in the house" bullshit.

Sasuke and Itachi help their mother with the table and dishes. Sasuke intends to find Itachi after, since he wants to talk to him.

He knew the family weekend was going to go to shit. He thought it would be because of him though, not Itachi. He also didn't think it would go to shit on the first day. New record!

When the cleaning is done, he's about to go to Itachi and ask what the fuck just happened and who even is he?

But his mother tries to reason with him over his attitude at dinner. He should have known that was going to happen.

"Sasuke, I know you're an adult now, but you cannot speak to us that way. Especially not your father, you know how he would react."

He's annoyed that he's literally being given a lecture right now when he was just defending himself and his brother. His father was the one acting like a big-ass baby.

Instead, he shoves down his frustrations not wanting to make things even worse. As per usual though.

"Yeah, alright." He sighs, walking away not wanting to say anything else to his parents.

He finds Itachi on the porch, sitting comfortably by the steps. He looks pensive and Sasuke doesn't know exactly what he even came here to say. He should just go, this would amount to nothing.

"Sasuke," his brother calls out. It feels like the first time he's managed to grab his brother's attention in years. "What do you want?"

It's not annoyed, angry, it's not much of anything. Is Itachi so unreadable and uncaring about anything. Sasuke thought he was a pretentious asshole who thought himself better than everyone else around him. It used to make him so angry. But he wonders if he's like this simply because he's been training himself to be someone he's not?

Sasuke saw him at his most emotional he's ever been at that dinner table today.

When he expressed hatred, that was something incredibly passionate that he hasn't seen in his brother in a long time. Actually—he can't even distinctly remember.

"Why do this?" He doesn't even ask specifically what.

"Why would you pretend to be something you're not?" Sasuke clarifies.

Still Itachi feels like a stranger, but now Sasuke wants to know who this stranger is. Before he felt...angry not even at Itachi but at the idea that he had to be like him, and he realized that he was doing exactly what his parents were doing to him. He has this image of who Itachi was in his head and that didn't line up to reality. Maybe he should have tried harder to understand.

"I feel like you shouldn't be asking me that," He says and Sasuke's heart fucks up its pattern. He takes a sharp breath before stepping forward to ask.

"What?" He asks. Then realizes. Fucking Shisui. He was going to kill him.

"When are you going to tell them?" Itachi asks not explicitly stating anything.

"Well I was planning on fucking up the weekend by telling them at the end, but you already beat me to that. Always had to be first at everything didn't you?" Sasuke's bitterness isn't completely gone apparently. Then with the fact Itachi knows now he's just a little bit more acidic.

Itachi scoffs, "Don't worry, I am leaving tomorrow. Tell them after, then leave. That's what I was going to do."

"What do you think they'll say?" Sasuke feels like a child again, asking his brother for wisdom. But it turns out he doesn't have any. He's just as lost as anyone else. A genius, but still fighting with the turmoil of his own emotions. To be loved by his parents, and to love himself. To fight for the will to choose what he wants over what they want for him.

"It doesn't matter what they'll say."

Sasuke tried to tell himself this, he really tried to burn it into his brain that he doesn't care.

Whatever happens he will still have Naruto, so it doesn't matter what they have to say about it.

"I care," Sasuke admits. "I hate it but I care what they have to say. I care less about dad but...what if they hate me?"

"Then they're shitty parents." Itachi says, "But you knew that already."

"How can you be so...uncaring about everything. How do you not care?"

"I cared too much. I cared what everyone thought of me, my parents, my friends, family, you." Itachi says the last word making eye contact with his little brother. He paused for a moment, "But none of it matters. In the end you only live with yourself."

"...I was happy, when I found out you moved away to live with Shisui," Itachi continues, "Not because I don't want to see you, but I was hoping you wouldn't follow after me. That's why I didn't call. There's no need for you to see what I became."

What does Sasuke even do with this? Itachi's not who he thought he was, and never was. He abandoned him sure, for a dream pushed upon him that he never wanted. His opinion of Itachi has changed, he just feels a bit of anger at his parents for pressuring them so hard and giving next to nothing in return. But his resentment for Itachi himself has greatly dissipated.

What was all of this even for?

"Sasuke, chase what you want while you can, because it won't always be there."

He thinks of how he literally went across the country to chase after Naruto. He's sure Itachi didn't mean something like that (or maybe he did) but that's what Sasuke ended up doing anyway.

"Thank you," Sasuke says. Not even sure what he's thanking him for. Talking to him?
For showing him his actual self? Telling him that he shouldn't care what his parents thought?
Or telling him that he should chase after what he wanted and making him truly believe that?

"Next time," Itachi says before Sasuke leaves to go inside the house, "If you really want to fuck up the weekend, bring your boyfriend."

"Planning on it," Sasuke says and for the first time in a long time, it feels like a moment between brothers.

Itachi leaves the next day early in the morning without saying goodbye. Sasuke isn't sad about it.

Sasuke is planning on leaving today, a day early since he doesn't want to stay until Sunday. So it's his last chance to just tell his parents.

He tries to remember Itachi's words. Telling him that he shouldn't care what they thought, if he was rejected it's his life and they can't stop him from living it.

"In the end, you only live with yourself."

"Mom, I have something to tell you." It sounds so serious starting it with that sentence. "Uh it's not bad or anything—but it's important, to me—"

Fuck he was already messing up.

It's almost as if the fear of being in the light after spending so much time in the darkness was more terrifying. Acceptance from himself was more terrifying. To say definitively, 'This is me, this is who I am' took more bravery than remaining ambiguous and apathetic.

"I'm gay." He spits it out, and awaits her response. He's frozen to the spot, and he watches her movements trying to find any indication of rejection.

"...That's not too much a surprise if I'm being honest," She says after a moment sighing and taking his hand, "Thank you for telling me."

"I—what?" She's saying thank you? For what he just told her who he was. "You suspected?"

"Yeah, but I wasn't going to make assumptions. You were always on your phone talking to someone. Then you were pretty offended when I asked if it was a girl. You never had any interest in girls and I know a lot of them liked you. You have my genes, you're a handsome boy Sasuke." She explains and Sasuke has to come to terms with the fact she maybe observed more than he thought.

"What do you think Dad will say?" He asks wondering what she has to say about that.

"He probably won't like it, but he will get over it." She says as if it's a pretty nonsensical thing.

"I kind of can't believe this."

"What?"

"That you're..." So relaxed? So...sure that it's okay. No more questioning or trying to convince him he's wrong about it somehow.

"You've clearly thought about this for a long time Sasuke, I'm sorry you thought you had to keep it yourself this whole time. That's on me and your father for not accepting you more, and not trying harder. I hope...we can work things out between us and I'm so sorry I realized it late that I was pushing you away. Do you think you can try to forgive me?"

Sasuke is taken aback by all that she said. Out of all the things he expected from her response, an apology was not one of them. It hurts his heart because acceptance was all he wanted and now forgiveness is being asked of him. It's easy to entertain the idea of pushing her away after all the years of torment, but he'll always love his mother and she's here, knowing what went wrong and asking for his hand to help her up.

"Yeah, I think...I'll get there," He says and she smiles. "You know, you're really too good for dad. You should divorce."

"And miss out on the life insurance policy?" Sasuke can't tell if she's joking or not.

☀︎

Naruto thought Sasuke was going to text him over the weekend to keep him updated on the situation at his home, but he heard nothing for a while. He became just slightly worried, but he's sure he'll hear from him eventually. He's going to be back Monday, so if he doesn't text at all, he's bound to see him then. He chalks it up as Sasuke being stuck in his own head so he just hasn't been talkative.

It's not even like he's talkative anyway, Naruto struggles to remind himself. It's just the situation that has him a bit on edge. Finally the whole weekend passes, and Naruto heard nothing. But finally on Sunday night, he gets a text from Sasuke.

Sasuke: Finally got my phone on
Sasuke: Sorry I didn't text u

Naruto's so relieved. Okay, so maybe something just happened and he couldn't use his phone. Definitely not that his parents were way more homophobic than he thought and he might have led Sasuke to an early demise.

Sasuke: Do you think we can meet on the roof tmrw?

Naruto knows Sasuke likes it up there. He can understand why, it's a bit isolated whenever they go and you can look at a lot of the campus from above. It's kind of peaceful when they're there together. But it's not exactly a place they should make a habit of going to. Naruto doesn't want to risk Sasuke getting into trouble, though he's sure they won't face any real consequences anyway.

Naruto: No ones up there probably since it's a Monday

Sasuke: K I'll see u there

Naruto: So what happened

Sasuke: I didn't have a charger

Naruto: That's it?
Naruto: Why didn't you just buy a new one?

Sasuke: Are u kidding me a new charger was like $20
Sasuke: Then I'd have two when I get home and I'm $20 poorer
Sasuke: I rather just wait til I got back home

Naruto: Yeah but then you couldn't text me the entire time

Sasuke: Now you know how it feels

Naruto felt like this was the moment in a sitcom made ten or twenty years ago where the recorded audience either laughs or gasps in a mocking way.

Naruto: Uncalled for.

Sasuke: Maybe.

Naruto: So why do you want to meet tmrw

Sasuke: To talk
Sasuke: Abt my weekend, but I also want to hear about yours
Sasuke: Actually I mostly want to hear about yours
Sasuke: Wait
Sasuke: You didn't text me either the entire weekend. What's your excuse?

Naruto: ...
Naruto: Technically I was waiting for you to text me first so I am not to blame here.
Naruto: It cancels out

Sasuke: What is this fractions?!
Sasuke: "Cancels out"

Sasuke: Damn was your weekend that bad?

Naruto: It was something

Sasuke: You could tell me now....

Naruto: Nah think I'll wait

Sasuke: Fine

Naruto: We can get ramen after though

Naruto definitely thinks he'll need ramen after talking about it. It wasn't like their reaction was the worst it could have possibly been...it was just how it made him feel more than anything else.

Sasuke: I feel like u should be Ichiraku's mascot at this point

Naruto: I would totally if that meant free ramen

Sasuke: Ofc

Naruto: How would I even be a mascot tho

Sasuke: Dress as a bowl of ramen

Naruto: That's fucking stupid

Sasuke: ...
Sasuke: You literally asked what the mascot would be?!?!
Sasuke: What else would it be then?

Naruto: Idk but dressing up as a bowl of ramen seems dumb as hell

Sasuke: We both know you'd do it for bare minimum a week if free ramen

Naruto: A month
Naruto: And yeah

Sasuke: Ur so dumb
Sasuke: Anyway, I'm kind of tired now but I just wanted to text u cause I maybe missed u

Naruto: AWWW

Sasuke: Shut up
Sasuke: I'm going to sleep

Naruto: Good Night!

Sasuke Doesn't text for a while so Naruto assumes he went to sleep.
Sasuke: Gn <3

With that, Naruto goes to sleep as well. What happened the day before, fades into darkness as slowly as his consciousness does.

*

"Hey Mom! Dad!" Naruto calls out once he unlocks the door. He drops his bag to the floor, he only brought a backpack with him for this over the weekend trip. But he's more weirded out he didn't get an answer the house is completely silent. His voice is the only thing he can hear, automatically, he assumes the house is empty. He goes in all of the rooms just to check. Yep, he was right.

Naruto took the 49-minute drive here, and told his parents he'd be there for the weekend, so where were they? He gets settled in the empty house. Well, things were already off to a great start.

His parents come home late at night and are surprised when they see Naruto there. His mothers in a nice dress and it looks like they must have gone to some sort of party. It was a holiday, but he was expecting them to be home at least since he literally told them he was coming home. Some things never change.

"Hey! Naruto!" His father moves to hug him, and Naruto forces himself to reciprocate even when he's a little bit upset. "I didn't know you were coming today!"

At least they remembered he was coming at all. Unless they didn't and lied about that right now. Could be either or, he can't even tell.

"Naruto!!" His mother moves in to hug him. She smells more like alcohol than his dad. She was always more of a drinker. So again, he's not surprised. It takes him a second to hug her back.

He kind of wants to end this weekend early already, but they seem to be in a good mood together. So maybe he'll try to stay the weekend. Besides Sasuke was over at his own house now, probably having a worse time than he was.

He fights the urge to open his phone to text Sasuke. He almost did when he got in the house, but Sasuke hasn't texted since he was in the cab so it's probably not the best time right now. He also doesn't know what time it is where he is. If he remembers correctly, there's a three hour time difference. Wasn't he three hours ahead...?

"Naruto! How have you been?" Minato asks him, and small talk isn't really what he wants. They never really listen anyway.

"Good, I have been doing well—"

"We always knew you would, you're my pride and joy," his mother says and Naruto rolls his eyes. Not even caring if they see. They don't.

"You're gonna take care of us when we are old." She's smiling as if it were a joke.

"Yeah definitely." Nope. Retirement home for you. He lies straight through his teeth.

"What are you studying again?"

"I'm going to become a social worker," he answers. He's told her before. Both of them actually.

"Don't you want to pursue something more...lucrative?" Slight judging now.

"Not particularly." Naruto answers quickly to choose his stance on the topic.

"Oh 'cause you know, my coworker's son, he's on track to becoming a doctor now that's making money," She rambles, and Naruto stops listening at some point. "—I'm not saying become a doctor or anything."

"Isn't that basically what you're saying?" He mutters. Maybe he's more irritated because he waited a while for them to come home, and it took a while to get here, and gas is expensive and he's already regretting all that he wasted any getting over here.

"Listen, it's late, I'm going to go to sleep." He gets up from the couch. It is late, he doesn't even know why he stayed up. Maybe to see if they would show at all? Maybe to see if Sasuke would text him. It's probably the latter more than the former.

He's not actually tired either, but he goes to his old room anyway. It's pretty empty seeing as he cleaned it out of the few possessions he had to put it in his side of his dorm room. He's got no messages from Sasuke, and he's a little bit worried for him. He wonders if something bad happened, or absolutely nothing. He has no idea. He doesn't know what to do really and decides to get some sleep. It takes him a while to fall asleep, as it always does.

The next day, the opportunity to reveal the reason he even came presents itself.

His mother asks him about a girlfriend. Going so far as to mention Hinata Hyuga. That girl he dated for a literal month ages ago. Apparently, she's really pretty now or whatever. Naruto was about to even interrupt and say that she wasn't even ugly then– but he couldn't care less and just spits it out.

"I have a boyfriend." He interrupts her and it sounds almost like a declaration.

"A boyfriend?" His mother repeats, almost scoffing. A bit of reactionary disgust but she quickly adjusts.

"Yeah," Naruto says more firmly.

"You're gay?" Definitely some disbelief there.

"Not exactly." There are other sexualities besides gay and straight.

"But you have a boyfriend." She clearly didn't get that part.

"Yeah."

"You're probably just experimenting, you don't really know what you want." She says. Naruto realizes in that moment, that she either doesn't believe him or doesn't take him seriously at all. Either way, him being gay—queer, whatever doesn't seem to be believable for her.

"What?!" He's sort of outraged by her tone, it's condescending as if she knows better than he knows himself? She's not the one who's contemplated over this? Spent nights agonizing over it, then when Sasuke finally revealed himself and came into his life, and they spent time together, something in his body felt right. Like this was how he was supposed to be. He told them out of courtesy for them and to be honest with himself. They're still his parents, nothing will ever change that, so they deserved to know. But for her to say something like this, was unacceptable.

He stopped seeking approval a long time ago when he realized they lived in their own little world, and he was a side character. Sometimes their worlds were in sync and others they were at war, but almost never did any of it involve him. They made decisions when he was a kid without thinking about him, and he fought for a long time trying to get scraps of attention. He was so starved that now whatever they could give him did nothing.

"I'm going to go," He just wants to get out of this house. His mother tries to get him to stay.

"Naruto, you haven't even stayed here that long!" Does she not even know how offending she was just seconds ago?

"It was just a short visit, and I have work to do, and..." he trails off. He's not going to come back for a long while. "Bye, mom."

"Come back soon!" She says, but it's a courtesy really. She hardly even tried to get him to stay. She probably doesn't care either way. If he stays or goes. She barely cared that he was here in the first place.

"What happened?" His clueless father sees the scene and gets a bit of a clue as to what's going on. "You sure you're going to leave now?"

"You only stayed one night."

One night is enough.

"Minato, he apparently has a boyfriend." His mother says, and Naruto thinks maybe she does know what she said affected him. She can't be that stupid right.

"Really?" Minato questions, "A boyfriend?"

Naruto doesn't want to wait for his father to comprehend the word any longer.

"Are you sure you're not just...confused?" He sounds almost pitying, and Naruto can't decide if that's better or worse than his mother's reaction.

Naruto just looks at his father and his mother in disbelief and anger, not even wanting to explain himself he leaves the house.

He hates himself for many reasons. He hates himself for wishing they wanted him. He hates himself for wishing they fought harder to be around him, and he hates himself for not caring when it seems they're trying. They're not trying—they're half-assing. Pretending they're good parents to help themselves fall asleep at night. Small talk? Check. Try to get him to stay by only asking one thing? Check. I guess it's not on me if he doesn't want to be here, oh what could I do?

He came clean about his boyfriend, they basically dismissed him and what he wanted and he cares, but he doesn't.

He thought they'd be more accepting. It's not like they don't have gay friends or coworkers or whatever. Or even just people they know who are queer, why is it such a hard concept to grasp that he could be on the spectrum too? They never took him and his decisions seriously at all. No not their son. He didn't even want to discuss it any further after seeing the looks on their faces.

He tells himself that he doesn't care, but a small minuscule almost unrecognizable part of himself hopes maybe they'll come around. He knows he should squash that small part of himself that thinks that because obviously, he'll only be met with disappointment.

*

They meet in the stairwell, and Naruto's already thinking of questions in his head. What happened that Sasuke wanted to meet pretty abruptly? Did it go well? Or terrible?

It's more breezy than the first time they were here. It's also the afternoon yet again, less chance of being so easily seen.

"So how'd your weekend go?" Naruto asks when they sit down. Starting off the conversation with what he most wanted to know about.

"Well my mom knows," He starts, "And my brother, but I didn't tell him, Shisui did."

He seems slightly upset by that. He wondered how that conversation was when he went home.

"What about your dad?" Naruto asks then regrets it.

Sasuke gives him a look.

"I guess not..."

"Well my mom probably told him. She said he won't like it but he'll get over it." Sasuke shrugs, Naruto wonders if that's alright with him that he didn't tell his father in person. Actually by the look Sasuke gave him...he's probably fine with that.

"I'll see if he calls me tomorrow," Sasuke sighs, but it seems like he's not overly worried about it.

"Oh and I may have told my mom I had a boyfriend already."

"Really?" Naruto asks, surprised but happy about it all the same, "And who might that be?"

"You know him actually, he's a redhead." Sasuke tries to speak as seriously as possible. He fails.

"Ha, as if you'd ever date Gaara. I'm also sure neither of you even like each other," Naruto forced a dry laugh at his joke.

"What about you? How was your weekend? Did you..." Sasuke's more eager to hear about Naruto's weekend than he is about telling how his went.

"Yeah they know." Naruto says but doesn't feel quite the same relief Sasuke does. It's clear to see that Sasuke was happy by the fact his mother knows and although his father isn't too accepting about it, there's hope at least.

Naruto doesn't even feel like he has that.

"What did they say?"

"I knew they wouldn't understand, it's not like I expected them too or anything." Naruto starts, and finds it hard to vocalize his thoughts. Will Sasuke even get it? "I just hoped that they'd take me seriously?"

He says it almost like a question, and he knows Sasuke needs a bit more if he's going to understand.

"They just...never take me seriously ever. They hardly parent at all, when I was a kid I'd have to remind them of things that I needed all the time, and they'd never be there for me. They weren't like terribly neglecting or anything, I still got food, and you know—a roof over my head, but it wasn't much more than that."

"It was like...I was a dog they adopted, and then couldn't take back, and they had to keep me. They weren't about to kill me cause I was already there, and they'd make sure I lived but didn't really do much of anything to keep me happy." Whew. That was extremely hard for him to say. With pauses in between and the metaphor wasn't even quite sound either. Was that even how it was? It kind of felt like it. He feels kind of like he's been dramatic about it though. They weren't really that bad they just...

"That sounds horrible." Sasuke says in the small silence.

"I mean...it wasn't too bad, I turned out pretty fine. But I think—when you don't even feel loved by your own parents you need something to latch onto I guess." He realizes something in that moment, "I wouldn't have found you if I had a true support system after all."

Sasuke knew somewhat of Naruto's parents but hearing all of this made him feel anger on his behalf. How could anyone just have a kid and not love and appreciate them for the person they are? Sasuke knows somewhat of how Naruto feels but definitely not to this extent. His parents cared for him, they played favorites, they wouldn't treat his accomplishments for the achievement that they were, but at least they payed attention. Naruto didn't even have that.

Sasuke thinks back to something Naruto said a long time ago. Sasuke had made fun of him at the time. Called him touch starved. But damn that must have hit close to home at the time didn't it?

"They kind of just told me I was confused. But they didn't say that exactly. It was more like..." Naruto can't exactly think of what to compare it to.

"They basically told you that you don't know what you want?"

"Kind of, yeah."

"Hm." Sasuke doesn't like that at all.

"I walked out after that. Maybe I can try talking to them again after a while but I wouldn't be surprised if they forgot this conversation even happened."

Naruto wonders if the boy understands. Does he get it? They had two totally different upbringings but can he understand how Naruto felt this weekend?

He's tired of feeling resentment toward them but can't bring himself to feel anything else. He'd rather not think about it, and Sasuke can tell clearly. Sasuke takes Naruto's hand, interlocking their fingers.

"Remember what we said?" Sasuke says and Naruto raises an eyebrow at him, questioning.

"That whatever happens we will be here for each other, and you've got me so you'll be okay," Sasuke's voice is reassuring, and Naruto finds his anger at remembering what happened this weekend slowly fading.

"Yeah," He says, forcing a smile, but it does make him a bit happier. Seeing Sasuke helps a lot as well, "I think we're going to be alright."

☀︎

A/N: Thanks for reading, don't know when I'll see you next, but this chapter took me three almost four weeks to write. It's longer than the first part at 18K words or so. I am hoping this book only ends up being 4 chapters. But I honestly don't know for sure, but I promise I won't make it too long. Mostly for my sanity.

I could talk abt this chapter and all the decisions I made in it for a considerable amount of words so if you have any questions/comments, you can ask me. <3

_NoyaSimp_