dedicated to ariana senrqse for the covers above and below. thank you so much <33
Chapter Thirty: "Just Today?"
Aven: I have a home game at 5, are you able to come?
He sent the message at 8 in the morning. I saw it at 12 PM and have yet to respond. The text message was just another reminder that I haven't entirely wrapped my head around what had happened last night. That wasn't a bad thing. None of this was a bad thing.
All I knew was that 5 PM was closing in and although I was already on campus, I was on an entirely different mission. Undecided at the moment, I didn't answer, flicking through my phone as I trekked to Dr. McCormick's office that early evening on Thursday.
My thumbs went to the playlist, my playlist, familiar music ringing in my Airpods as I looked at the songs he had chosen. Since the first time I had gone through, my lips always twitched at the randomness of the music as I continued to go through the seemingly endless list. I passed through various genres, the many genres I listened to, made him listen to, songs I didn't know, songs I had listened to from his own playlist and--
"He added songs after last night," I murmured.
There wasn't much talk afterwards when we rejoined our friends and watched the rest of the concert. I wasn't going to break the blissful haze by speaking and he didn't either. But that didn't stop the two of us from glancing at each other from time to time as the concert had gone on.
I had breezed into my quiet house, passing by the bedroom doors of my roommates, and laid on my back on my bed. My mind felt weighed down by my thoughts and my body was frustrated but heightened by the memory of his hands, his lips and the feeling of his body flushed against my own.
The recall was so vivid and imprinted, I swallowed in the present my top teeth digging into my bottom lip as last night replayed over and over again. Again. I had suggested to stop, to return to our friends and he didn't agree. He said again.
This had to happen again.
Someone cleared their throat behind me, and I jumped, realizing I was standing by the doorway, blocking the entrance into the building. Giving the person an apologetic smile, I swiftly made my way towards Professor McCormick's office where a line of students was already standing outside.
My eyes went wide. They all couldn't possibly be here to see her.
When I asked the person ahead of me, I mentally cursed.
They were all here to see her.
I sat down against the wall behind the last person who was talking to a group of people in front of them. I didn't join their conversation or wonder what they were speaking about. Instead, I went through the list of questions I had to ask her, complied in surprisingly a neat set of notes that I had gone over before I left the house, along with my midterm on my laptop that turned into a tablet on the grading application.
The more I read over the numbers and variables I had gone over, the more my eyebrows furrowed. I was going to add stress lines to my forehead by how long I had studied the document while sitting in that hallway.
How the hell did I write the exam?
Mistake after mistake left me dumbfounded as I realized where I went wrong. How overconfident I was to not properly check again when the answer was right there. When I was using my stylus to write notes in a sidebar column, someone cleared their throat for the second time in my vicinity.
I was now the last one in that hallway. When I glanced at the time, I realized I had arrived at the building about 45 minutes ago. Her office hours were almost over.
Dr. McCormick was taller than I had estimated. I didn't sit near the front of the big lecture hall whenever she was speaking and whenever I saw her up close, she was sitting. She was near Larine's height and was wearing heels as well, definitely putting her a bit over Iman's height. Today, she was wearing a jumpsuit, her brown hair up in its typical bun and pale skin illuminated by the lighting. She narrowed her eyes at me, not to scold me for wasting her time but in recognition.
"Come in."
I scrambled off the floor, picking up my things before entering her office.
When we both gathered in our seats, she took another look at me while typing on her wide desktop screen. "Jaiyesimi, am I right?"
"Uh, yeah," That was not a good response. Did I even have to be professional here? I wasn't last time. "Yes, yes, that's me."
Her lips twitched as she kept her eyes on the screen. "Not trying to get answers from me about the final, are you?"
Oh, she definitely remembered me. "Not this time," I assured her with a light smile.
"Here to discuss the midterm?"
"Um," Despite the fact that I had gone over every single question in the hallway, cursing the hell out of myself mentally, I sucked in a deep breath. "I think so."
She stopped moving her mouse. She looked away from her two monitors, raising an eyebrow at me. The intimidation she held set in at that second, not just because of the way she looked at me but because she was sitting on a career that I currently started to envision for myself one day, "What do you mean?"
"I mean," I sighed. Speaking about it may as well have brought me back to the day I found out about it. "I did horrible on the exam. Not horrible horrible like I failed horrible. But just horrible enough to put me in a tight spot of where I want my mark to be. It's..."
I trailed off avoiding her eyes as embarrassment started to settle in my body. She wasn't here to listen to my entire life story about how in high school physics was my favourite thing in the world.
That calculating how fast a ball dropped from point A to point B gave me a mini thrill back then. How each experiment I had the chance to do in first-year physics labs involving circuits and magnetism made me feel accomplished in an area I worked hard to understand. And how a part me of liked it when people didn't expect me to have an interest in something like physics.
Physics was something I could delve my curiosity into. With people, I was never the most curious but with physics, with endless theories and explanations, I had only ever wanted to dive in deeper.
I didn't know how to explain it to anyone. It's just how it was for me. It was the subject that I loved, more than biology, more than chemistry, more than gym class. I did well in it. And I was going to continue to do so even with this setback.
It was one exam. Even if it wasn't one exam, it was going to be alright. I'd be fine. I'd figure something out.
I cleared my throat, shaking my head. "Never mind. I want to talk about the midterm."
Dr. McCormick studied me for a moment longer before her eyes went to one of the monitors and I watched her pull up my exam, "Which question do you want to go over?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unlike the first time I had entered the gym, I didn't run into the room and there was no intention of me finding Mariam. I didn't find any of my other friends seated on the bleachers either. Instead, the first person I found on the court was Iman. He was the one closest to the bleachers and he was busy briefly exchanging words with another teammate. I settled in a spot high up on the bleachers, glancing at the score to see that they were currently tied.
Then my gaze fell onto Aven. His tall figure crossed the court as he set up for the next play. As if sensing I had entered the room, Aven's head turned in my direction. My lips parted. The determination and concentration in his expression didn't fade when he held my eyes. his eyes on me. We stared at each other for that fleeting moment, just for a second. And then the ball was slapped against the ground by the opposite team as the individual got ready to serve. Aven's sharp eyes went to the player, getting focused and remaining focused.
They won.
Anticipation coiled within me as I waited by the back doors of the Rec center after the game. Tall, soft yet intense, he approached me, zipping up his sweater as his jacket was hung over his duffle bag, his curly hair slightly damp from the shower and looking as content as one can be after a high of winning a game. Silently, we made our way through the parking lot and into his car.
I cleared my throat, glancing at his seemingly relaxed posture as he maneuvered out of the parking lot. Again, relaxed but not really. His fingers moved restlessly on the steering wheel. Once we were on the road, he tapped my knee. He tilted his chin to where his phone was placed in the mount and I entered his password, filling the car with music.
And we still didn't speak.
The entire car ride had me wondering what the hell was going to happen. I asked myself that question as I tried to keep my eyes on the blurring night through the window but constantly failed at the sensation of his hand. He hadn't removed his hand from my knee. He continued to keep it there, laid against the fabric of my jeans, only taking it off when he had to change gears.
I kept asking myself that question even as we headed up to his floor in the elevator. Anticipation continued to embed its way into my bones as we walked through the hallway. Aven walked ahead of me as he unlocked the door to his apartment and held the door open for me to enter first, taking off my shoes. None of the boys were home judging by the off lights.
But when Aven turned on the lights, it was then that my heart started picking up speed. He must've known, kicking off his own shoes but he still wasn't looking at me.
It wasn't until we were in his room, where he turned on the dim lamp, dropped his duffel bag and I set aside my backpack that he spun me towards him and pressed his lips against my own.
Everything from the concert the night before came back with a sweet rush. The bright lights of the hallway warm against my eyelids replaced with the light from the lamp, the closeness was the same and the feeling. God, the feeling was something completely unmatched when it came to him. And just like last night, we kissed and crashed into each other like a combination of big and small waves, light and intense, mixing and being magnified as all that I inhaled was Aven.
My arms linked around his neck, pulling him down and closer. His hands roamed, not settling on one place, restless as they had been in the car. It was as if he couldn't decide what to do in our first pure moment alone like this, in the four walls of his room. He broke the kiss, to slam the door and lock it shut before pulling me back by my jaw. With this kiss, the light and softness were replaced with potent ferocity.
He pushed my jacket off my shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. My fingers, my usually calm and steady fingers whenever they graced a piano slightly trembled as I zipped down his sweater. I removed my hat, throwing it to the other side of the room. I touched warm skin, a sound escaping my throat that was met with a groan of his own I had missed from yesterday. Another sound that was going to occupy my thoughts filed away in the same mental folder containing his smile and his laugh.
His hands reached upwards when he broke our kiss, pulling his shirt by the collar and flinging it to the other side of the room before returning to my lips. His tongue glided against my own, and he squeezed, caressed from my neck down to my breasts to my waist, and held me as we basked in an intertwined atmosphere of two people coming together who've been waiting for a moment like this for a long time.
I didn't think. I just kept touching and he kept touching. And that was all that mattered.
Clothes were removed, not awkward but apprehensively. Not with hesitation but determination. Not with want but with need. My pants were kicked off and my focus was on the button of his jeans. His hands moved up my skin, up and up until my shirt came off as we made our way onto his bed. Before I could start to push his jeans down his strong legs, Aven suddenly pulled away, hovering over me with his forearms. His eyes flickered down to my purple bra, and he took a deep breath before looking back up at me with swollen lips, "You haven't said anything."
"You haven't said anything." I pointed out but the sight of his face, of the brightness in his eyes and the growing smile he was fighting made me beam. "Hi."
"Hi." He chuckled. "I'm glad you came."
"You played really well." Aven opened his mouth to speak and then suddenly, he looked away from me, his ears red. My hands moved from his neck to his jaw, pulling him back to me. The grin on my face spread wide at the familiar modesty and I couldn't help but brush my lips against his own. It was so him. "Congrats on the win. What is that? Ten wins in a row?"
"We lost twice so far," But gratitude appeared in his expression as he searched my own. Always searching me like he didn't have me figured out. "You didn't respond to my text."
"I showed up. I was just late because I met with my physics prof."
Aven's eyebrows went up. "Did it go well?"
"I think it went great." She had gone through everything with me thoroughly, no judgement just patience. Another transient thought crossed my mind and I tapped him on the arm. "You added more songs to the playlist."
"It is still not finished."
"How long until it's going to be done?"
"It's not," What? Confusion went through my mind for a fleeting second that he disrupted as he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to my jaw, my cheek then my lips once again. "I've been thinking about you all day." Me too.
"Just today?" I joked, staring up at him with one hand on his chest. The minimal clothing on him allowed me to feel his heart race in equal time with my own. Satisfaction zinged through me at the knowledge, grasping him tighter.
"No, not just today." He whispered, staring at me for a brief moment. I stared right back, roaming his handsome features and pondering about how the hell we ended up like this. I wasn't given any more time to wonder when I felt his fingers skim along the edge of my black panties.
This was happening. A part of me couldn't come to terms with the fact that this was happening. But he didn't move his fingers underneath the fabric, holding my eyes and waiting for permission.
Oh God. "Yes." I fought the urge to repeat it a thousand times.
He moved onto his side, still looming over me, one large hand on the inside of my thigh. And then my panties pushed down, down to my ankles and the second I kicked them off, his fingers were on my clit. Shit. I didn't make a sound as he continued rubbing, not because I didn't want to but because I wasn't sure if anyone had entered the house while we were so caught up with ourselves. I was struggling not to make a peep outside of the uneven breaths that left me as his fingers moved against me and he continued exploring and watching me to observe my reaction. "That okay?"
"Go faster," I said, reaching down to guide him. "Just a little bit and more pressu-yeah, yeah, that's good. Right there." I let go of his hand and a deep laugh ghosted over my lips as another unfamiliar sound left my lips.
Any proper words I could have said dissipated when he slid a finger inside me. I was so turned on, from our kissing and our touching, his touching that I could hear my wetness. Shame nor embarrassment arose especially when he heard the low groan escape him as he moved his fingers.
My head burrowed into his body, leaning against his arm as I shifted in the best position for myself on my side. My face pressed against the crook of his neck, lips parted, hand moving down to his wrist as he continued, drawing out the pleasurable feeling between my legs and a string of curses flew from his mouth and the 'fuck, Jay' that left him only added to the increasing sensation. Somehow, he moved my face from him, leaning forward to kiss me before he retracted his hand.
Protests left my lips, but the determination on his face that I had witnessed earlier today was taking over the patience he had been placing upon himself when it came to me. Oh.
He shifted down on the bed, spread my legs but kept his eyes locked on my own. I sat up on my forearms, looking down as he hooked his arms around my thighs. And when he spoke, his voice was husky, "Remember your rating?"
The fake one. The lie. "I remember. And I'm hoping that this won't be a four—oh."
The first sensation makes me drop back. The back of my head connecting with the pillow as he worked me over with his mouth. My hand fell to his damp hair, clenching as his hands rubbed my thighs as if trying to tell me to relax. But this was Aven. Aven who's head moved with eagerness with each swipe of his tongue against me, drawing out moans and responding with a low sound of his own that had me tilt my head into the pillow as I reached down with my other hand to press him further into me.
"Jay?"
There's no way he's talking. No way. I couldn't even focus, and he wanted me to talk?
"Hmm?" I groaned, sitting back up on my forearms to meet his eyes and to meet the vision in front of me. His glorious body stretched out before me as he looked at me without a trace of the smile I had imprinted in my brain. Instead, he looked at me with an expression that seemed like he wanted to devour me from the inside out. And he was planning on it.
"Slow or fast?" He said, his voice thick and so close to me.
Not a single thought was being processed in my head. I was still coming to terms that his head was between my legs, and he looked at me like he wanted to stay there for the rest of his days. He had sounded, acted like he wanted to. He wanted to. It was official: I had to be dreaming. "What?" I asked, breathlessly.
"I want to understand you. I need to. So, slow?" His tongue. God, his tongue licked me just as he said, and I moaned against my palm. Good. Too good. So good. He needed to. "Or fast?" Then he sped up. My chest heaved like I was running a marathon and my grip on his hair tightened.
"Slow right now." I gasped as he did as I asked and then added his fingers, rubbing my clit, sliding a finger and then another within me as he continued his ministrations that had me gasping and turning my head into the pillow as I quivered under his touch. "No, faster."
Then his mouth came over my clit and sucked. Oh my God. I was aware I was getting louder with the word 'please' becoming my favourite choice for the hour as I gave into the pleasure. The pillow I shoved my face into was muffling the noises that left my lips because of him.
But his pillow smelled like him, his bed where he laid, the room was filled with him, him, him—fuck.
My orgasm hit faster than I expected. Harder than I expected. I dug into his hair, clutching so tight it was bound to hurt as I convulsed in his hands, but he didn't complain, continuing to lick me through the waves.
Eleven out of Ten. A hundred. A thousand. This went beyond my scale.
I fought the urge to completely roll over onto my stomach in a blissful haze as the high passed and the trembles faded, and I tried to compose myself. And failed as I closed my eyes, hoping to experience that again. Soon.
Aven stared to loosen his grasp from my thighs, and I could feel his breaths against my skin. This shouldn't be awkward. Don't make it awkward.
I wasn't given a chance because when I opened my eyes, Aven was already maneuvering himself over me. His forearms were placed on either side of my head as he captured my lips into a searing kiss that my head spin. I opened, allowing his teeth to take a hold of my bottom lip as I reached for his abdomen.
Hard, hard muscle. Aven's body was warm hard muscle that my own arched up to reach again and despite the sensitivity between my legs, I wanted more and more. Allowing his tongue to enter my mouth, brushing against my own once. Twice. I met the continual actions with equal despair, needing to have him closer than I ever wanted anyone before.
"Jay," Aven breathed into my mouth and a moan left my throat as he buried his head into my neck, his tongue swiping up along my pulse and hands latching onto the back of my thighs as he pulled me up into him. And like last night, he rocked against me, and I embraced it. The heat of his erection pressed into my center, the zipper of jeans hitting my clit in a way that had me grip harder as the ache that I thought faded with the recent high only came back even stronger as a desperate force.
His name left my lips in response as I pulled his head back up to me. His golden-brown skin was flushed, and he was panting with desire in his eyes that left me overwhelmed. I reached for his jeans, both of our gazes falling to where I pulled off the belt in a haste, pushing it away from us.
Aven's soft pants kissed my forehead as he watched, peppering his lips where he could on my skin. His erection was pressed against the front of his jeans, the strain making my breath stutter with anticipation. I shoved his jeans down to his mid-thighs before attempting to do the same to his boxers.
Then there was a knock on the door. The two of us jumped, both of our heads turning to the jangling doorknob.
"Aven!"
Aven met my gaze, his hold on my thigh tightening, not releasing.
Kyle.
At this moment I hated all his roommates. Except Dev. Dev had never interrupted us.
Whatever Kyle wanted, he wanted it now. The grimace on Aven's face confirmed that Kyle wasn't going to leave until he got it.
My heart unseized itself as we both reacted quickly. We dressed in record timing as Aven and I exchanged shirts we found on the other side of the room. I was tugging my jeans on when my eyes went downward. The tent in his pants was hard to miss.
The fact that literally seconds we were dry humping on his bed was hard to miss. I was grinding against Aven. Aven gave me an orgasm.
"Wow," I mumbled, buttoning up my jeans. I took deep breaths to calm the rapid beats of my heart and trying not to appear flustered as Kyle kept banging on the door.
Aven grabbed his laptop and a pillow, gesturing to the door. "Jay, can you--"
"Got it." I cut in as Kyle yelled for Aven once time. Aven settled on the bed, pillow on his lap and open laptop on top of it as I heard him take one more deep breath.
Unlocking and opening the door, I pulled on a smile. "Hey Kyle, what's up?"
Kyle stared at me for a moment before his eyes went up to Aven then back at me. "You fucked."
"Excuse me?" Technically no.
"You fucked."
"We did not."
"Well, you did something because Aven doesn't work on his bed and it's obvious he's hiding his boner." Kyle grinned when he looked back at me, wiggling his eyebrows in amusement. "What'd you do?" My jaw dropped but he let out a laugh as if to say he was joking. He joked like a friend would. "I'm kidding. That's your business not mine. Yo Ave, you got batteries?"
"Yeah." He almost made the move to get up before deciding against it.
Kyle snorted. "Where is it?"
"Bottom drawer of my desk. Should be near the back."
Kyle retrieved what he wanted, about to leave but before winking at me. "I should've known you two were screwing."
"Goodbye, Kyle." I closed the door behind him, faintly hearing his cackles as he made his way down the hall.
Turning around, I leaned the back of my head against the door keeping my eyes on Aven. A sheepish smile came to his face. "At least I locked the door?" I frowned as he let out a loud laugh as he got up, pulling me back on the bed with him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I arrived home, I could hear my roommates in the living room, the scent of chocolate chip cookies in the air. Mariam must have baked them. She did that whenever she was stressed.
I was shrugging off my sweater, my eyebrows raised when I saw all three of them sitting down, relaxed as a movie played. Larine's eyes went to me first as she raised a hand in greeting. Mariam grinned at me, patting the seat between her and Larine as Yasmeen occupied the other couch. My focus went to the television as a random character screamed. Larine jumped in her spot and Yasmeen laughed at her reaction.
"She's so easily scared," Mariam said, joining Yas's laughter.
"It's a scary movie."
"It totally is not," Mariam said as I sat between them, and she handed a cookie to me.
I could feel Yasmeen's eyes on me. Maybe it was my crossed arms or the way I was staring at the screen that made her bring her attention to me. Or because I wasn't speaking as I relayed the last few moments over in my head, my lips swollen from the goodbye kiss Aven had just given me in the car.
The fierce desperation may have faded after the Kyle intrusion but there was nothing off about our conversation afterward. There was nothing awkward about the way he'd randomly kiss me as if he had an urge every few minutes that I had to reciprocate with a few spontaneous impulses of my own.
Before the kiss, he climbed into the corner of my mind. After the kiss, now he only seemed to take over. I almost closed my eyes, trying to push out the good feeling of his lips against my skin but failed. This was driving me insane.
"Where did you come from?" Yasmeen's voice cut through my thoughts like a blade, making me tilt my head up to meet her knowing eyes.
I broke off a piece of the cookie, savouring the taste before answering her, "Aven's."
Larine paused the movie with interest clouding her expression and Mariam perked up, "You were with Aven?"
I took another bite. "I was with Aven."
They were all waiting. And for once I understood the need to talk about it. To talk about something, someone like this. I even bit back a smile of my own, knowing this wouldn't happen over any other person. "We kissed last night."
And they exploded.