Rowan was completely exhausted and would have collapsed onto the sand, but Maitland sat down with her, pulling her into his lap. She weighed nothing in his arms, so fragile and thin he thought he'd break her. "Rowan, Jesus love. What did he do to you?" He gently pushed her fiery red locks out of her pale face so he could see her eyes...sunken and surrounded by dark circles. She was covered in dirt and dried blood.
"He trained me Maitland." She opened her eyes taking in the wide expanse of night sky above. "He used my weaknesses to make me stronger. I understand his reasoning, but being underground was just more than my psyche could handle." She lifted her palm to his face. He was staring at her like a concerned, protective older brother. "You're a good man, Maitland. Thank you for pulling me out of... whatever that was back there."
"You're welcome. No one's ever accused me of being a good man before." He chuckled. Ian hadn't stripped her of everything. His Rowan was still in there under the bruised and beaten layers.
"Well, like I said before big guy, I'm the only one who counts anyway." She smiled up at him, her fingertips gently stroking his stubbled cheek. Her muscles were relaxing, fatigue was settling in now that she felt safe enough to drop her guard.
"You're amazing, Rowan." Maitland smiled down into her optimistic eyes. How could she find humor when she'd only just escaped hell?
"Not amazing...just incredibly fucking motivated." Her head fell against his chest. For the first time in days she had fresh air to breathe, and while there was no sun in the sky, the moonlight was enough for her.
Maitland's phone rang, he recognized the number. "T, what's up?"
"Declan doesn't have them. We think Vertigen used his sorceress, Mairin, to take them from the demons." Tearlach summarized quickly knowing neither of them appreciated fluff.
"She exists?" Maitland had heard stories, but no one had ever actually seen her.
"Yep and Ian knows exactly who she is." Tearlach hoped this would be enough to bring them back. They certainly wouldn't go after Vertigen on their own. That would be suicide.
"Let me call you back." Maitland hung up the phone. He didn't want to tell her, but he wouldn't keep things from her just to keep her from feeling pain. "I have bad news honey." He cupped her tired face in his oversized palms.
"Just tell me." She didn't know how much more she could take.
"They think Vertigen has them. They're trying to find out where now."
Her tears pooled immediately and fell uncontrollably. How would she be able to do this on her own? She pulled herself into Maitland wanting to feel the comfort of another person, even if it was just for a little while because she was completely run down and good to no one in her current condition.
"What do you need love? Tell me." Maitland didn't know where to start. She was tired, filthy, probably hungry.
"I can't do this Maitland." She wept into his solid, warm chest gripping his shirt in her palms.
She was defeated and that was something he hadn't been prepared to see. She was tougher than that. "We... can do this." He hugged her to him. He would have never thought her capable of this level of self-doubt. She'd always been so strong. "First things first though, you need to recuperate, which means food and rest. You need to be at your best when we go after them, and we are going after them."
"Maitland, I can never thank you enough for this." She had never felt emotionally closer to anyone than she did to him right now.
"You don't have to Rowan." He kissed the top of her head.
Sitting there in Maitland's powerful embrace with the warm salty breeze coming in from the ocean she felt like she was home, someplace where no one and nothing could hurt her.
Maitland was a man of very few words. He valued quiet think time and so he gave Rowan all she needed. Holding her close he listened to the waves crashing into the shore...wondering what was going on in that little head of hers.
Everything about her surreal life came to a head, "Ian almost broke me."
"Yeah, well, fuck almost. Almost has never counted for shit. You remember that!" He gave her a gentle squeeze.
"I'm tired and hungry. I know I'm a mess, but that shit takes a back seat to the other two. Sorry about that." All she could do was smile at him, because she could smell herself, and it wasn't pleasant.
"Tell you what, you lay here and let me go round something up." He laid her on the sand before quickly scanning the vicinity. There were lights in the distance and wherever there were people, there were provisions. "Where are we by the way?"
"Oh, Aruba. One day, seems like years ago now, I picked up this vacation brochure and decided to talk to a travel agent. Anyways, while I was trapped underground," she shivered at the thought of it "I just kept imagining myself here, and then, when Ian told me Antaine was probably with Declan, I blew. I hadn't been able to get out of that room until then." Her eyes focused on the moon in the sky. It was nearly half full. "Back there, when that room got out of control, when your voice pulled me back from the edge...this is where I needed to go...with you." She closed her eyes and covered her face. She couldn't believe she'd lost it like that. She was so disappointed in herself...attacking both Deisha and Ian. She felt remorse over her actions against them now. At least she wasn't a complete emotional void. She'd been afraid she was losing herself.
Maitland took off his shirt and rolled it into a ball. "Here, put your head on this." He lifted her head gently and slid it under her. Her tears were still falling. "Rowan, please don't do that. It makes me feel..."
When he couldn't find the words, she filled them in,"...gooey inside or something?"
"Something like that, yes. I don't really know what to say, except they understand what's happening with you. Maybe you have made some mistakes...so own them. But, they've made mistakes, too, and they need to own those. First and foremost, they need to start treating you like an adult not a child." He wiped the tears from her cheeks with his calloused fingertips. She flinched beneath his touch. "Sorry, I'm a blue collar kind a guy...rough hands."
"It's not that, Maitland."
"What is it then?" He couldn't look away. She was swimming in a sea of shit and he was gonna throw out the life preserver.
"You just get me. Nobody has ever understood me. Why is that?" She placed her hand over his and pressed it against her cheek.
"I've been alone my whole life Rowan. We're a lot more alike than you know. I get you because I've been in your shoes. We have about the same temperament, too, so I know how you like to be talked to and approached. Even more importantly, I know how you're going to respond because it's usually what I'd do if I were in your shoes." He leaned down and kissed her forehead.
"Never believed in the whole white knight in shining armor fairy tale, but I'm starting to think you might be him." She let her mind go to a place she wished it wouldn't. Why couldn't she have chosen him instead of Tearlach? She couldn't help but think that sometimes you just had to learn to love what was good for you, and he was so much better for her than any of the others. Clearly another one of her poor decisions in a long line of piss poor decisions she'd made along the way.
"Listening to that kinda talk makes me think your sugar's low. I'll be right back with some fine dinin', okay?" Maitland stood up, waiting for the go ahead.
"If I don't have to cook it, I promise I won't complain." She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She felt at peace around her friend. She could be herself. She could be completely vulnerable..breaking down, bat shit crazy, and he would still care for and protect her. She guessed that was something she must have known subconsciously all along, which was why her body hadn't chosen him. He was her friend, her confidant, and friends stuck around through thick and thin. Whereas lovers...they would be like the wind in the trees, some blowing in and out of her life like a slow steady breeze and others like the gale force winds of a hurricane leaving nothing but destruction in their wake.
She watched him head toward the lights in a dead run. Alone. She was alone on a warm, vacant, sandy beach. Breathing in a deep cleansing breath of salt air, she relished the nature all around her. Listening to the waves calmed her and the warm sand beneath her allowed the muscles in her aching body to relax. Her mind couldn't stop though. She immediately started thinking about Antaine and Raine. She knew Raine would protect him if she could- or die trying. Problem with that was Rowan liked her. Raine was fierce, sarcastic and loyal. All of which were respectable, sought after characteristics in any friend she would choose for herself.
She rolled to her side and after a few minutes got lost in the waves as they crashed into the beach less than twenty feet in front of her. The repetitive sound lulled her into a daydream, allowing her to shut out everything else around her.
She had choices. She might not like them, but she certainly had them...and that was the story of her macabre life. The only reason Antaine and Raine were in danger was because of their connection to her. They were being used as bait to lure her out. She would face Vertigen and either fight him or trade herself for them. She could try to find him, find where he was keeping them and plan a covert recon mission, but that was a long shot, and it involved too much risk for both Raine and Antaine. She knew what she had to do, because if she was being honest with herself, there was only one option, to trade herself for them.
She remembered Vertigen's white hair and fiery orange eyes, the feel of his long fingers reaching out, his icy nails ripping through her skin. Honestly though, after seeing Feider outside her cell, not much scared her anymore. She guessed she had Ian to thank for her decreased sensitivity.
She wasn't stupid. She knew Vertigen was powerful, but she didn't care what he did to her as long as he didn't touch Antaine or Raine. Unable to hold her eyelids open any longer she closed her eyes for just a second.
The sound of her phone ringing woke her from a dead sleep. She fumbled through her slumber and dug it out of her pocket. She recognized his number. It'd been burned into her brain. She debated not answering, but contrary to previous feelings, her gut was telling her to take the call. She surveyed her immediate proximity, if Maitland caught her talking to him he'd flip out.
"I told you not to call me." Her eyes looked out over the water. Even the darkness of the night sky couldn't hide the storm that was coming.
"I'm going to tell you why you need me, Rowan." He was surprised she'd even answered because she would definitely recognize his number. He'd called her incessantly when she left him.
"I'm listening...vampire." She had to consider all of her options, even if it meant working with him. Declan was vile, but if he could save Antaine she could make it happen.
"Do you know who Mairin is?" The question hung in the air.
Declan was a clever man. She didn't know shit about Mairin, but the fact that she was with Vertigen was enough to infer how terrible she probably was. She had to play her cards close to her chest and be careful not to give him any ammunition to support his cause. "I've heard the name."
"Much more to her than a name." Declan cleared his throat readying for his speech. He could tell by her voice alone that she knew nothing.
The line was silent as Rowan pondered her next move. She needed the information, but she was hesitant to take anything from Declan because everything had a price. "I'm listening."
"She's a cross between a sorceress and a snake. Known for her skills in the art of mind control. Not to mention, her extremely venomous fangs. I think..." He fed her pieces at a time, luring her to him.
A snake? Seriously? This world just got more and more unnerving as she delved deeper into it. Snakes were a problem for her. Phobias sucked. "You think?"
"Waiting on the video surveillance. It's just a matter of time and I'll know exactly who took them. Would you like to know as well?" He hated bribing her, but if that's what it took to get her in the same room with him, he would throw what few scruples he had left right out the window.
"What do you want vamp?" She knew exactly what he was doing, the information wasn't free. There would always be a catch, no matter who she dealt with.
"Vamp? That hurts, Rowan. Please call me by my name if you wish to continue this conversation." Declan smiled in anticipation of hearing his name spill over her lips.
As much as she wanted to chuck the damn phone into the waves she needed this information. She exhaled a deep breath and inhaled cool salt water air, filling her lungs to capacity. This next part would take everything she had in her, "What is it you want me to do for this information, Declan?"
"Ahhhh, that's so much nicer." He loved the sound of his name rolling over her lips.
"Yeah, and you're a champion of nice." She immediately had a flashback to his office and the scene that she'd walked in on, sick fuck.
"Play nice, Rowan. I want you to come here and..." He knew this next part may push him right out the door, but he had to do it.
"This next part must be awful. I mean judging by the dramatic pause and all." She held her breath in angst.
"I will find her Rowan. I will tell you where she is, and I will help you get them back, but first...you will ask me to bite you." His skin grew warmer just thinking about his lips on her flesh, the taste of her blood swirling in his mouth, and the feel of her finally coursing through his veins. Just thinking about doing these things with her made his shaft stiffen.
She'd guessed it before he'd even said it. She knew that's what he wanted because without this leverage he had over her, she'd never ask him. He was fixated on her asking him and before today, she never would have imagined a situation where she would ever allow him to bite her. Goes to show, you should never say never.
She needed someone powerful and Declan was one of the most powerful men she knew. Her mind was racing. Maybe she should call Ian. Why? Her brain interrupted her heart and read between the lines. When all the chips were on the table, they'd both lied. They both allowed her to suffer with them and maybe their motives were different, but they both had thought they were helping her.
"Rowan, I can hear you breathing." The sound of his office door opening caused him to lift his gaze from the desk he was staring holes through. Bhaltair was approaching.
"And I hear you being a manipulative prick." He really had her over a barrel. If she agreed, he'd have a hold on her forever, but if she denied him, Antaine and Raine could be as good as dead.
"I am a man who always gets what he wants Rowan, and I want you. I will do whatever is necessary to get you here with me where I can protect you."
"Protect me? Anlaf damn near killed me in your office, or did you conveniently forget that little fact?" She was going to kill that fucker by the way.
"You know his name?"
"I did some asking around." She stared into the distance.
"Again, I am sorry. He didn't know you, and he sensed you as demon, so he attacked. You can't blame a vampire for that Rowan. It's in our nature to fight."
"Yeah, well, there are a few other things in your nature, too. Like wiping minds before you feed off of and rape innocent women." She loathed him.
"Rowan, do you agree to my terms?" He had to get her off this subject, because it was quickly moving away from his end goal.
"I'll tell you what. I'm not giving you shit. When you have them, call me. We'll talk more about a deal then...vampire." She hung up the phone and laid back down in the sand.
She thought about him after she hung up. Sitting in the dark she pondered if she'd ever feel for another man the way she'd felt about him and if anyone would ever make her feel the overwhelming passion, the lust and the sexual release he had. As much as she despised him and what he'd done, she couldn't deny the way he'd made her feel. His body had been like a drug for hers. Even now after all that had happened, her body still felt a pull to him.
The sound of heavy footfalls advancing towards her brought her out of her thoughts, alarming her until she heard him call out. "Rowan? Just me." He'd managed to sneak into the resort's kitchen and gather a varied array of food for her to pick from. As soon as he saw her face, he knew something had happened in his absence. "What? What is it?" He spread out a blanket on the sand and began depositing his spoils.
Rowan looked out at the ocean, "Declan called me." She turned to Matiland, "Wants to make a deal."
"Really?" He knew he had to be careful with her. He picked up a sandwich and started eating. He wanted to bombard her with questions, but he was afraid he would push her away. She could have kept the call from him, but she hadn't. He needed to let her tell him as much or as little as she wanted.
"Yep. Says he's going to find out who took them for sure, and where they are." She looked at the food. She'd been starving, but that conversation left her nauseous.
"And in exchange, he wants?" Maitland knew what he wanted, Rowan. The only reason he couldn't find her now was because he hadn't bitten her yet. Her world would be a lot more dangerous if she'd allowed him to drink from her.
"He wants me to ask him to bite me..freak." Rowan looked at the sand, embarrassed that she'd even had a relationship with someone like him. She knew Maitland was already walking on egg shells. He was trying to play this very carefully and she appreciated his efforts.
A low growl erupted from Maitland as he stared into her eyes, "Do you know what that means for you, Rowan?"
The seriousness in his voice frightened her. Maitland wasn't a talker, so when he did talk she'd listen closely. "I know it will give him more access to my thoughts and vice versa."
"It'll do a lot worse than that." He took another bite of his sandwich to keep from spouting off at the mouth. He looked out over the waves, avoiding eye contact because if he looked at her, he was just going to verbally bombard her with everything he wanted to say.
"Maitland, you are my friend and I want you to speak freely with me. Just tell me." She reached out to him, placing her hand over his. When he finally turned to her, she saw that his blue eyes were blazing...intensifying.
"He'll own you Rowan. I know you don't believe in this, but if he is your mate it'll change how you feel about him, too. You won't be able to help it. He'll mark you so hard no one else would dare come near you, and as for you, you won't want anyone but him. Is that what you want?" He wiped his mouth with his arm, trying to avoid her eyes to keep the conversation from feeling awkward.
"You're upset. I'm sorry. No, it's not what I want, but if he can save Antaine and Raine then my life is something I'm willing to sacrifice. I killed Antaine's father Maitland. I owe him."
"Bloody fucking hell woman! Do you honestly believe that's what he'd want you to do? What any of us expects you to do?" Maitland handed her a sandwich.
She could feel her sugar levels dropping. She did need to eat. "It's what I expect of myself, and besides he's not here for me to ask. The only way around it is to find them before Declan does."
"Then that's what we do. Let's eat while we talk about a plan. I think we should go back to Cuan's, because we're gonna need help. Declan's people are everywhere. As soon as you step out, he'll know exactly where you are, and he will come after you. Declan takes what he wants." Maitland rummaged through the other snacks, settling on a package of pastries he'd haphazardly thrown together.
She was hungrier than she'd thought, munching on the sandwich gave her time to think before she formulated her response. She didn't want to run back to them for help. That wasn't her style, but her style could get her in trouble and others killed. She also really didn't want to sign anybody's death warrant by asking them to get involved. She could feel Maitland's eyes on her, waiting patiently for her response, and then, she remembered something Tearlach had said about tracking her when she'd left. "Can we track her, this Mairin woman?" She pulled a brownie out of Maitland's bag of goodies.
"Can we? No. But, I know there are some who can." His eyes fell to the ground knowing it was a mistake the second he'd said it.
"Who?" Both excitement and trepidation passed through her.
"Trackers, but they're expensive, Ro, and I'm not just talking about money. Sometimes they want other things in exchange for the information." He couldn't even look at her. He knew what the tracker would take from her, and that just wasn't an option.
"I can read between the lines. You know what though Maitland? Right now we don't have any other choices. I might have to choose between the lesser of two evils...sex with some stranger for information or letting Declan bite me. Which would you choose?" She pulled his chin to her, so that he would face her.
"Neither. I'd find another way." His eyes moved back and forth trying to read hers. Would she really do this?
"Great, big guy. Find me another way, and I'll do it." She smiled at him sensing the tension growing within him.
The time that spanned between them started to grow uncomfortable, neither of them spoke. They both knew there was no other way. These were their options.
"I don't know anyone who could find her except a tracker. Mairin is a recluse, no one knows where she's been or where she went. Declan won't find her either, unless he uses a tracker. But we know where her portal was created...Dugald's. So, if we are willing to deal with a tracker, he will find her quickly for sure, and then he will collect on his debt."
"Worst case scenario- I have sex with a stranger to pay for the information. That about cover it?" She held his eyes.
"Maybe. Trackers are actually ghosts that can take human form. That's how they travel between realms. They locate the item, but don't retrieve it for you unless that's negotiated as well. You have to be very clear and exact when you enter into a verbal contract with them. They will hold you to your exact words. Is this what you want to do?"
"Maitland, it could be a lot worse, honestly. I mean trackers aren't like zombies or half rotting corpses are they?"
"Actually, just the opposite, and there are no such things as zombies."
"Really?" That surprised her. With all the other things lurking around. "Well, tell me more about these trackers."
"Trackers are a fearless, heartless race of people. The reason they fear very little is because they're already dead." He waited to see how that little piece of info settled with her.
"Dead? I don't understand." He had her full attention now. She started to nibble on a piece of bread.
"They figured out how to cheat death Rowan. They're one of the few pure species that remain. Their ability to ghost in and out is bred into their DNA, but only if they're pure. The men are goliath in size...warriors. They have to be fierce because they travel solo between worlds, and you can't always be sure what you'll come across in a new world, Rowan."
"I believe that." Memories of Feider gave her a chill.
"There are some strange and horrifying things out there. Trust me."
Rowan wanted to hear more about his adventures someday, but today wasn't that day. "So we're careful with our negotiation then. We can do that." Rowan shrugged her shoulders.
"He'll be duplicitous Rowan, and he's got years of experience on us. You can bet your ass on that." Maitland stared off into the night sky. He had a bad feeling about this. Something was gnawing at him.
"You know where to find one?" Rowan ate faster, anxious to get something of substance in her gut and get going, because the longer Antaine and Raine were held, the more chance they had of being hurt or worse. Raine was a fighter. She wouldn't sit there and do nothing, which could very well get her killed.
"I know where to find one. But if we do this, I have to call Tearlach. I can't reach Kester, and someone has to know where we're going and what we're doing just in case things go south. It's your call." Maitland pulled out his phone and waited for her to give him the go ahead.
"I'm good with that." Every time she looked at the moon in the night sky all she could think about was Tearlach's betrayal. She'd cared more for him than she cared to admit to herself.
"Branigan is the only one who has actually met him. I only know of him because I listened to Branigan's stories about their nights together in the vamp bars. Cahal's a cocky bastard. And to be honest, most people wouldn't even consider bringing in a tracker."
"Vamp bars? Think Declan knows him?" She had to get to him before Declan did or her world was gonna get real scary real fast. She was out of time.
"If he doesn't, someone in his place will." He knew exactly where her mind was going.
"Make the call and then we find him Maitland. We're doing this before Declan makes a deal with him." Rowan was pulling herself together, having a plan helped her re-charge. She watched him dial Tearlach's number, and as much as she didn't want to hear the conversation, she couldn't walk away.
"Tearlach?"
"Where the hell are you? Is she okay? Mairin has Antaine and Raine and soon Ver..."
"Shut up and listen." Maitland couldn't get a word in edgewise. "Rowan's fine. I told her everything. She wants a tracker."
"Maitland, don't let her do that. Don't you let her do it, please." Tearlach could barely keep from crushing the phone in his palm.
"She's a big girl T. She's making the calls, not me. I've told her all about him..."
"You know one?" That was a surprise Tearlach hadn't expected.
"Yep. My deal was I would get her to a tracker, but she had to let me call you and let you know what we were doing." He knew there wasn't anything more to say. No matter how he sliced it and diced it, Tearlach was gonna be pissed.
"Maitland..."
"Look T, I'm straddling a fence here okay? I'm trying to do right by everybody, but that's just not possible, so get over it. This is me giving you the 411. Got it?" Maitland didn't expect any less from him.
Tearlach had to be careful. Right now, Maitland was telling him everything. If he burned his bridge he'd have no connection to Rowan. He exhaled deeply in an attempt to shield the anger in his response. "Maitland, don't let her do anything she'll regret. That's all I ask."
"Can't make her do anything...or avoid anything either T. You of all people should know that. All I can do is make sure she knows what she's gettin' in to." Maitland knew she was listening intently, even if she was trying to act disinterested in the conversation.
Maitland was right. Tearlach's shoulders slumped in defeat. God, she was gonna make him crazy. "I know. I just want to protect her Maitland. Why won't she just let me be there with her?"
"She's right here. Ask her." He handed the phone to Rowan. "T wants a word with you."
Rowan glared at Maitland, but his eyes were pleading with her, so she put the receiver to her ear, "What?"
"Rowan, I know you're pissed at me, and you have every right to be. All that aside, you're gonna need some help. I can help you do this, and I won't try anything with you, I swear."
She was quiet as she considered, "Yeah, cuz you've been soooo honest up til' now."
"Don't make Antaine and Raine, or you pay for my mistakes. You're looking at dealing with a tracker, then Mairin, maybe even Vertigen...and who knows who else. You can't deny you could use a little muscle."
She knew Maitland could hear the entire conversation. Wolves had extremely acute hearing. Tearlach was right of course, if she could put her pride aside she had to admit she needed help. She didn't trust him, but her pride could get people killed, and that wasn't an option. "Fine. Where are you?"
"I think Declan's vampire hunters are following me to get to you. So, whatever you do, you'll have to be damn quick." He was relieved at the thought of her coming to him.
"Where are you?"
"Cuan's." The excitement of her coming gave him chills.
"They're on the grounds?" Rowan looked at the sand as she pushed her toes beneath its warmth.
"Just outside. They haven't advanced. I think they're waiting for you to show up somewhere. You've been inside the house here, right?"
"Yep. I'll meet you, and only you, in the entryway. If I see any of the others, I bail. Five minutes?"
"I'll be ready. Thank you, Rowan." His feet were already moving.
"See you in five." She hung up the phone and looked up into the sky. Closing her eyes and taking in a deep breath, she told herself she could do this...and that she could keep her distance from him.
She was clearly worried about being around him. He had to say something. "I'm proud of you right now. That took some courage." Maitland sat down next to her, "You're gonna be fine."
"I'm just gonna sift in, grab him and come right back here. Sound good?" Even after everything that had happened, the thought of touching Tearlach... of his strong, warm arms wrapped around her, sent chills down her spine.
"Yeah. Hopefully Branigan's back. I overheard him talking about running into Cahal one night while he was clubbing. Apparently, they're both pretty famous with the ladies."
"A couple of man whores then?" She smiled at Maitland. It was amusing how different all the wolves were.
"That's an understatement." Maitland didn't understand it, women in positions like this were usually as nervous as a goat shittin' razor blades, but not his Rowan. She was joking in the midst of the shit storm.
"I guess I should go. He's probably waiting for me already." She stood up and brushed the soft sand from her clothing. "Just be a minute."
She disappeared right before his eyes. It was time to take care of some business. He called Cuan because Deisha was with him, and she was the only one who could get a hold of the wolves.
"Cuan, I need to speak to Branigan." Maitland didn't have a lot of time.
"Maitland?"
"Tell Branigan to call me, and I mean as soon as you see him. I need some information and time is paramount. Understand?"
Cuan wondered what the hell Branigan knew that was of such importance to Maitland, "Anything I can help you with?"
"Just have Branigan call me." Hating idle chit chat, he hung up the phone.