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Ruhani POV
चाहत मसाफ़त की,
इरादा, महरूम था
दिल, निगाहबान,
गिरफ़्तार, हस्ब-ए-आरज़ू,
धड़कन तक थाम ली,
हिज्र की इब्तिदा पे,
उल्फत-ए-नीलाम,
उनके एक हुकुम पे,
बावज़ूद,
चार दिन न चली,
नूर-ए-रुस्वाई उनकी,
क़ुबूल ये हाल-ए-फ़ुर्क़त,
मग़र,
भर हमे आग़ोश में,
बिस्तर पर लिटाए रखे है,
हाथ हमारा थाम के,
हाल-ए-मुक्कद्दर अपना,
जां समझ, कर बयां रहे,
न हम पिघल जाए,
तो क्या हो,
गिरफ़्त खुद कर दिए,
नशे के हाल में हमे,
और कल मुज़रिम,
हम हो जाएंगे,
संगीन जुर्म, उनके
ग़ुनाह-ए-बेअदबी में,
***
Chahat, Masaafat ki,
Irada, Mahroom tha,
Dil, Nigaahbaan,
Giraftar, Hasb-e-aarzu,
Dhadkan tak tham li,
Hizr ki Ibtida pe,
Ulfat-e-neelaam,
Unke ek Hukum pe,
Bawajood,
Char Dil na chali,
Noor-e-ruswayi unki,
Qubool ye haal-e-furkat,
Magar,
Bhar Hume aaghosh me,
Bistar par litaye rakhe hai,
haath hamara tham ke,
Haal-e-mukkaddar apne,
Jaan samajh, kar bayan rahe,
Na hum pighal jae,
to kya ho,
Giraft khud kar diye,
Nashe ke haal me hume,
Aur kal muzrim,
Hum ho jaenge,
Sangeen Zurm, unke,
Gunaah-e-Beadabi me,
***
wish is the Distance,
The intention is the deprivation,
Guarded the heart, even,
Arrested the according to wishes,
held the heartbeats even,
At the Beginning of separation,
Auctioned my love,
On one of his orders,
But, in spite of all efforts,
Didn't last even for four days
Light of his dishonoring,
Accepted this state of separation,
but still,
Filling me in his lap,
lying on the bed,
hand holding ours,
his condition of destiny,
considering heart, telling me,
what to do but falling
for him,
caught me,
in his drunken state,
And tomorrow the culprit,
we will me
For serious crime of his
dishonoring his orders,
***
As he said, I was looking for the separation. I accepted the only order of his, wholeheartedly and made my mind to do so. But he himself, in the drunkard state, came to me and pulled me in his embrace. How to stop me from falling into his intoxications of love, I couldn't. He did everything, but tomorrow, I will be the culprit for not following his orders. Justice!
***
"
Are aap to uth gayi,"
I shivered all of a sudden hearing his words.
I thought he fell asleep, but he was staring at me all the while.
I instantly shut my eyes back. I didn't want to face him, not in his drunkard state knowing how many times he had mentioned my beauty.
"Ruhani,"
He called and straightened himself, lifting on his elbow that I could feel with the movements on the bed.
I stayed like this, unaffected, ignoring him but he called again.
"Ruhani, I saw you opening your eyes,"
He said and his fingers touched my chin to turn my face a little.
My heartbeats were racing and I was defeated.
Opening my eyes, I turned a little looking at him.
His eyes looked into mine and the hairs falling right into his eyes and forehead twisted my stomach in the wrong way. His slightly wet lips curved into a small smile as he saw my awakened state.
"Acha, ye bataiye aap sun sakti hai ya nahi,"
"Okay, tell me if you can hear or not,"
He asked and I nodded slowly.
His face turned a little shocked and serious all of sudden.
He waited for a moment and then leaned in closer to my ear.
Damn!!! Why does he just want to whisper everything in my ear?
His lips unknowingly brushed my ear when he asked in an extremely low voice.
"Aapne hamari baate to nahi suni na?"
"You haven't heard my talks?"
I could smell his strong fragrance mixed with the slight sweat that was turning his cologne into a newer drug for me. This was mesmerizing. I didn't know if it was just because he was my childhood love or the new beginning of this submission of mine to him.
I blinked nervously, extremely affected by his hot breath, and shook my head.
I felt him breathing near my neck and then he muttered slowly which erupted a shiver in the base of my spine and ran to my neck.
"You are smelling no nice,"
My hands held his naked bicep as he pressed his both elbows on either side of my midriff to balance himself.
His perfectly toned, broad, tanned biceps changed their shape as he leaned in closer sucking my neck. My face turned to the right, lashes fighting to stay open when he drugged me with his first-ever kiss with harsh sucking.
My mouth opened, almost moaned with his sweet assault.
My heartbeats turned mad and pounded insanely as he sucked on my earlobe.
I raked my hand from his bicep to his chest, and to his neck. When the pull of his suck crossed my tolerance level, I tried to push him away.
His breaths turned heavy as he looked right into my eyes. His lips were even wetter now and slightly swollen with the tint of slightly dark pink. His drunkard's eyes looked into mine and I shook my head slowly, silently begging him not to do this with me now.
His eyebrows thinned in a line as leaned into my neck and complaint.
"Hum so nahi paa rahe,"
"I am not able to sleep,"
There was a pain in his voice as if this wasn't the first time, it wasn't the first that he was unable to sleep even in the intoxication of alcohol.
His half-heavy chest was pressing against mine. My hand itself reached his hair in sympathy and slowly messaged his head. He didn't offend and seemed like feeling relaxed.
Sleep was nowhere for me now. Everything that happened was blurring my vision even when I closed my eyes, still messaging his head lightly.
His body felt heavier when he drifted into sleep after some time.
His hand caged me, leaving me nowhere to get escape but his embrace filled me with mood swings.
I felt dizzy after a long time and didn't remember when fell asleep.
I woke up when I felt a sharp pain in my upper body as he tried to move in the light sleep. My body turned numb and immobile with his heavy weight.
Opening my eyes, I realized that it was early morning as the slight brightness was trying to peek in through the curtains.
I brought my hand down from his hair and felt a sharp pain in it too.
He might have woken up with my movement, as I felt him take a deep breath in sleep and moved a little slightly.
He turned himself and my still sleepy eyes shamelessly stared at his morning, godly looks. The messed hairs and that tanned body. He was still asleep and I smiled looking at him and remembering what happened last night.
His eyes were still closed as he was sleeping soundly.
I excused myself, stepping down from the bed, to do my morning business.
I freshened up and washed my face. After serving my morning prayers, I came back to look at his sleeping state.
It was morning already and suddenly I felt a little knock on the door.
I placed the dupatta over my head and walked to see who was there this morning.
Opening the door, my sight fell on Adeena who seems like wide awake.
"Assalamualaikum bhabhijaan,"
I smiled greeting her back and she walked passed me entering the chamber.
Walking straight she sat on the couch that was in the middle of the bed and the door, slightly covering the view of the bed.
She might hadn't noticed her brother sleeping there as she started saying aloud.
"Bhabhijaan, today's plan is ready,"
I thinned my eyebrows and looked at Sultan in shock.
No, no, no, not now.
"In some time, Bhaijaan will go to his Hammam, my strong suggestion is you should join him there,"
She said with the widest smile and my heart pounded insanely in my chest.
My sight on him as he just opened his eyes and looked at us.
I quickly walked to Adeena, trying to signal her to stop talking.
"I mean, the hammam is pretty big and I don't think Bhaijaan would mind it at all. See, he won't eat you, right, so I think you should go,"
She stood up and held my hand.
"Come on, come on, get ready Bhabhijaan,"
I shivered and was scared to death. He was listening to us and straightened himself.
I pressed my finger against my lips trying to signal her to shut up for god sake.
"Bhaijaan must be there anytime,"
She exclaimed with joy.
"Adeena,"
That's it.
I was dead now.
She shivered and turned to see her brother lying in his bead, that too half naked.
"Bhaijaan!"
Her lips trembled with fear.
"Assalamualaikum Bhaijaan,"
She said and immediately ran from there like fire.
And I just stood there staring blankly at him.
"What's all this about?"
He asked with a straight face looking at me.
I immediately shook my head.
Nothing!!!
He turned the comforter aside and I turned to look at the opened door.
Should I run too?
I took a few steps walking toward the door but he said all of sudden.
"Ruhani,"
I stood frozen.
He walked to me, half naked and I turned to see him.
He stood taller against me and touched my chin with his index finger.
Lifting my chin up, he looked into my eyes for a moment and then turned my face slightly to one side.
I noticed him looking at my neck and I remembered how he sucked me last night over there.
I blinked nervous, afraid of his reaction and he asked suddenly.
"Iske alawa or kuch?"
"Anything then this?"
I shook my head slowly in a 'No'
Though, there was a lot more then this. Something memorable, sweet, and funny. But, neither I could say anything, nor he could understand.
"Be adbi ke liye muaafi chahte hai,"
"Beg your pardon for misbehaving,"
I smiled weakly and shook my head, requesting not to apologize.
He nodded and turned to the couch looking for his Kurta. Wearing it, he said.
"I have some work,"
I just looked blankly.
He walked away leaving the chamber and a small smile appeared on my face noticing, that he blushed to realize what he did to me last night.
I smiled unknowingly and then my sight fell on Nagina who just entered the chamber.
"Begum,"
"Assalamualaikum,"
I smiled wishing her back just with the signals and walked to open the curtains. Feeling the warm sunlight of morning was my prime habit. It kind of soothes my nerves and sends power inside me. Release negativity and fills me with good thoughts.
"Begum, your Hammam is ready,"
She informed and I inquired, where was Sultan?
She thinned her eyebrows and replied.
"I saw him going to Princess Adeena's chamber,"
My lips formed in an 'o' realizing that he might scold her for saying all that.
"Begum, you should get ready soon as you might get late for breakfast,"
She informed me again and I nodded.
I went with her to the Hammam which was properly ready for the bath. The water was warm filled with bathing oils and the aroma of flowers and different pastes.
Changing into bathing clothes made of white cotton. I stepped inside the pool. The warm water soothed my body and did nothing to last night's memories which were making me blush and smile frequently unknowingly.
There were three attendees as usual helping me to take bath. Washing my hair and applied the bathing paste to my arms.
Suddenly, my heartbeats raced when I heard the voice of the attendee.
"Sultan, Begum is inside,"
The faded voice sent shivers down my spine and brought goosebumps when I felt his presence inside Hammam.
My eyes looked at him and suddenly all the attendees stood up leaving one by one.
I blinked not knowing what to do now.
"Hope you don't have any problem sharing the space,"
He asked teasingly and I shook my head slightly.
Why was he testing me every then and there?
I lowered my gaze as he pulled his kurta off in a swift motion. He stepped inside the pool and sat against the opposite side of me.
I just wanted to wrap up all my business and run. His presence was so damn intimidating.
I quickly washed off the paste from my arms and turned to get out of there.
But, suddenly he spoke.
"Ruhani,"
"Suna hai aap mohobbat karti hai humse,"
"I have heard that you love me,"
This particular line traveled down my ear bringing the goosebumps and I felt like dead.
***
Glossary -
Masafat - Distance
Mahroom - Deprivation
Nigaahbaan - Guard
Giraftaar - Caged
Hasb-e-Aarzo - According to wish
Hizr - Separation
Ibtida - Beginning
Ulfat-e-Nilaam - Auction of Love
Hukum - Order
Bawajood - In spite of
Noor-e-ruswayi - Light of dishonoring
Qubool - Accept
Haal-e-furkat - state of separation
Haal-e-mukkadaar - Condition of Destiny
Bayan - telling
Muzrim - Culprit
Sangeen - Serious
Zurm - Crime
Gunaah-e-Be adbi - Crime of non respect
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Damn!!! That poem took 3 hours alone to write leave the chapter. This book is damn hardwork and a whole new experience for me.
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