Violet and I hung around my room for a couple more hours. I worked on the homework that I had. Even if it wasn't due for weeks, I just needed something to distract me. But it seemed like nothing could get rid of the memory from today constantly replaying in my head. Along with that, all of the confusing bits to go with it.
Does he still think we're hanging out this weekend? I knew I would make some excuse not to go.
Just then, I remembered.
I grabbed my phone off the bed and stripped it of its phone case. The polaroid picture I had of Josh fluttered to the ground. I picked it up and tossed it into the trash, eliciting a frustrated 'ugh' as I did so.
"What was that?" Violet asked.
"Some polaroid I took of Josh when we went hiking." I replied, "I don't exactly want it anymore."
A minute later, there was a knock at the front door. I got up off the bed and went to answer it. When I opened the door, my mom was standing outside the sliding glass door, holding several bags of groceries over her arms.
"Hey, mom," I replied as I slid the glass and reached to grab some bags for her.
"Hey, baby." She said with a sigh as we walked into the kitchen. Her job constantly made her stay late, and you could see it was taking a toll.
"Hey, why don't you go to bed? I can put these away." I said, setting the plastic bags I was holding onto the counter.
"Are you sure?" She asked, leaning against the fridge.
"Yeah, I've got it, don't worry, Violets here too. She can help." I replied, beginning to put away a few cans into the pantry.
"Thank you." She said, smiling and rubbing her hand over my back. "How was your day?" She asked.
"It was good." I lied, continuing to rustle through the bags, grabbing out food and putting the items in their places.
"I feel like we never have time to talk." She said, "is there anything you want to get off your chest? Any news?"
"Honestly, nothing," I replied, wanting to change the subject.
"Alright, well, if there is, let me know. I'm always here to talk." She said as she kissed my forehead and started walking out of the kitchen and toward her room. I felt bad for not telling her about my personal life all that often. We didn't see each other much with her job taking so much time, and I didn't want to bother her more with my high school problems.
I finished putting away the groceries and throwing the empty plastic bags into the drawer we kept them in. I walked back down the dim hall and back to my room. I saw Violet curled up on my floor, eyes closed and slightly snoring when I went in. I knelt over and nudged her,
"Violet," I said in a hushed whisper. She groaned a bit and curled farther into a ball." Violet, if you're sleeping here, at least get in the bed."
She begrudgingly got up from her spot on the floor and dragged herself to my bed, laying down and throwing the blanket onto herself. I switched the light off and laid down next to her, facing the wall. I felt my phone vibrate under my side from where I had put it after taking out the polaroid. I grabbed it and opened it to see one text notification.
Josh.
My stomach dropped again when I read his name. I opened my messages with my heart racing from nerves.
What did you have in mind to do this weekend?
I know he did not just text me that. I thought angrily. He's still stringing me along. I turned off my phone, not answering his message and put my phone away.
I closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep, but too many thoughts raced through my head. I just wanted to be angry at him, to be able to text him back, calling him all the names I could possibly think of. To tell him I wished I'd never gone on any stupid fucking hike with him or sat in his garage for hours. I wished I could take back everything I said about him. But I couldn't. Because I would be lying.
More tears began to fall down my cheek silently. I eventually fell asleep, too tired to keep wallowing in my thoughts.
When I woke up, the sun was streaming through the blinds. I blinked my eyes open a few times before realizing how bright it was outside and frantically looking for my phone.
When I opened it, it read eight twenty-three. Class started in seven minutes.
"Violet, get up," I said, shaking her before jumping out of bed and rushing around my room.
"What, why." She said groggily before she checked her phone and immediately jumped up,
"Oh shit shit." She said, grabbing for her stuff, "did our alarms not go off?"
"I forgot to set mine last night," I replied.
"Damn it. We're going to be so late."
I ran around my room, a toothbrush hanging out of my mouth, looking for any clothes lying around. I just settled on a sweatshirt and some sweatpants that I'm pretty sure I haven't washed in a few weeks.
I finished brushing my teeth and dragged a brush through my hair as fast as I could as I heard Violet in my room, looking for all her stuff that was scattered around.
At eight thirty-two, we both grabbed our bags and ran out to the driveway. We jumped in our cars and sped to school.
When we got to the parking lot, we had to hunt for any spots leftover. The only ones we could find were at the back of the lot, so we had to haul ass to the building, trying to get to class as fast as possible.
"Mr. Sibbs is going to kill me if I'm late again." Violet groaned as we made it up to the overhang in front of the building.
"Well, we're already ten minutes late."
She shut her eyes and rolled her head back in annoyance.
We made it inside and went down our separate halls to our first periods. In the rush of the morning, I had completely forgotten a pretty big issue I had, but I got slapped back into reality the minute I walked into the classroom.
Josh and I made direct eye contact when I opened the door.
How did I just completely forget the fact we have a class together?
I felt my face's color completely drain as I looked down to my feet and made my way to my desk, feeling Josh's stare burn into my back as I sat at my desk.
"Do you have an excuse for being late to my class?" The teacher said after I had sat down.
"Uh, I just had a late morning," I replied, trying to pretend like I didn't feel the stares of the entire room on me as I pulled out my work for the day.
"You're allowed one more tardy before I have to write you up." My teacher explained in an annoyed manner, returning to his lesson on the board in front of us.
"Yes, sir," I muttered to myself.
Several times during the class, I saw Josh, in my peripheral vision, glance over his shoulder at me, trying to get my attention, but I never took my eyes off of the board or my desk. I couldn't look at him. That's when I remembered I had to see the girl he kissed yesterday in my second period as well.
Awesome.
I kept my eyes on the clock, putting away all my things early so that I could leave as quickly as possible from that class and avoid Josh entirely.
My luck failed me yet again when the bell rang for us to leave. I stood up quickly, attempting to escape, but Josh had already walked to my desk, hands in his pockets facing me.
Damn it.
"Hey." He said.
"Hey," I replied, not looking up at him, that terrified nauseous feeling washing over me, making my heart pound in my chest.
"Did you get my text last night? I was just wondering if you were still good with hanging out this weekend."
"Oh, I didn't see it," I lied, "I'll check later."
I threw my bag over my shoulder and briskly walked past him and to the classroom's door. In the corner of my eye, I saw his gaze on me, but he never attempted to follow me and walk with me like he usually does.
Maybe he got the hint.