"So then I laughed so hard, milk shot out of my nose and landed on my dad," I tell Leshawna, and we both laugh.
After talking everything out, me and Leshawna are back to being friends. We've been sharing stories and laughing in our trailer, which we've decided to gift to Leshawna's mother. It's easier than sharing the thing, and from what Leshawna's told me, she sounds like an incredible woman who deserves it.
It's been fun. Being here with Leshawna has been wonderful, and we're actually closer than before. It gives me hope that maybe one day me and Gwen can be friends again. Right now it's pretty awkward between us, but maybe with time we can get past this.
Leshawna and I both set our lawn chairs out front, and we get ready to relax in some sun.
"You really miss your dad, huh?" She asks me.
"Yeah. But after he gets better, I'm going to visit him, and we're going to make up for the time we've lost."
"Well, he sounds like a great man. Hey, maybe I can visit you in California one of these days. I've never been to the states!" She says excitingly.
"Yes! And maybe Warner can come, too, and we can go shopping! I know this great little boutique in-"
I was cut off by a loud sound coming from behind us. Leshawna and I both stare wide eyed at each other as our trailer full on explodes!
"Arr, maties!" Chris says with a weird pirate accent through the big speakers. "Meet me at the amphitheater in five minutes and I'll tell you about today's challenge!"
...
"We should've known it was too good to be true! Ugh, our beautiful, beautiful trailer. Curse you, Chris!"
...
"Well, my little scallywags. Have we got an adventure in store for ye?"
"What's under the sheet?" I ask noticing the objects in front of us
"All in good time, laddie. Who here has a hankerin' for a good ol' fashion treasure hunt?" Chris asks us.
I look at Gwen as she sighs. I shyly turn my head away when she catches me staring at her.
...
"Ok, I admit, I miss Gwen! There, I said it. Now that Leshawna and I are friends again and we've talked everything out, I'm not as angry as before... just sad. I mean, as much as I miss her, I don't know if I can trust her. I wish that entire weekend never happened. And I wish Lindsay would've never stooped so low to make Heather happy. God, she ruined everything!"
"One thing I don't understand is, last elimination Gwen said that she felt so bad about what happened between us that she voted for herself, yet she hasn't tried to apologize. That day everything went down, she tried to play it off like it was no big deal when it definitely was. Did she do that at the elimination to make herself look good to viewers, or does she genuinely feel bad?"
...
"Now, this treasure hunt's got a twist, maties. What you're looking for isn't hidden and it isn't treasure."
"If there's no treasure, then what's with the eyepatch and the plastic parrot?" Duncan asks.
"Arr, shiver me timbers! Good question, me boy. You're looking for keys to a treasure chest! Inside each of these chests is a treasure that will pamper you landlubbers and one of these chests will even give you invincibility! Ha har! Now come 'round and pull a clue out of this bucket or you'll have to walk the plank!" Chris orders. And we all pull a card.
"These clues will tell ye where your key be stowed," he continues.
"Ah, wha, bear?!" Owen exclaims.
"Piranhas! Again?" I whine.
Everyone looks at there clues and none of us are happy.
...
"I don't know why Heather is complaining. At least she doesn't have to swim with piranhas! All she has to do is sneak into chef's cabinet, how hard can that be?"
...
"All you scallywags, go find your keys and bring them back by six p.m. Eastern Standard Time..."
...
Ok, let's get this over with.
I slip on my scuba suit and prepare for my swim. There's one part of the lake where no one dares to swim. It's deep and in a dark watery cave. The piranhas don't mess with you unless you're in their part of the lake... Which is where I'm heading. I'm so NOT excited!
"Hey, babe," I hear someone say from behind.
"Oh, hey, Duncan."
"Whoa, are you still bummed about Gertrude and Leshawna?" He asks.
"Her name is Gwen, and me and Leshawna are fine," I answer with a sigh.
"Then what's your deal?"
"I miss Gwen. I want to be her friend again, it's just... How can I trust her again after what she said? I mean, plotting a coup to get me eliminated off the island? What the f*ck!"
Leshawna attacked my character, but Gwen was planning a full on attack. Turn the guys against me and get me voted off. She wasn't even going to talk to me about it.
"I hate to break it to you, but this is a competition. You can't trust everyone," he tells me.
"You don't think I know that? You know, some of us can compete while being friendly with one another. Now if you excuse me, I have a challenge to win."
"Wait, I didn't mean to make you mad. I know you're a nice person who everyone loves. That's what I like about you. I was just trying to cheer you up," he says.
"Well, thanks, you're doing a fabulous job," I reply sarcastically. "Now go away."
"You really want me to leave?" He asks.
I can tell that he's amused by my reaction. He thinks I'm overreacting, but I'm serious. I'm already so annoyed by Chris blowing up my trailer and then making me swim with piranhas, I don't need Duncan's jokes right now. And him standing here being of no help and patronizing me is only pissing me off even more.
"Can you just go do your challenge so I can finish mine in peace?" I ask a lot more calm.
"Ok, I get it. You want some space."
He finally leaves, so now I can get this over with. I finish putting on my fins, grab the raw chicken breast I stole from the kitchen that I'm going to use to distract the piranhas with, and lastly, I put my goggles on with the built in flashlight.
Well that settles that, I'm all set.
...
I cannot believe that worked! If I ever decide to go for another reality TV competition, I'd dominate. I've gotten this far, haven't I?
I was in the bathroom blowdrying my hair when Leshawna bursts through the door.
"What's up, girl?" I ask her. "You look like you've seen a ghost."
"We've gotta vote off Heather," she tells me.
"Duh, I've been trying to get her off the island since the first week."
"You don't understand, she's messing around with Gwen's man!" She explains.
No. Flipping. Way.
"Heather and Trent? Come on, that's ridiculous. Trent is head over heels for Gwen."
"Gwen saw them locking lips."
"That's insane. Well, you've got my vote. Heather is going down."
...
"Do I believe Heather and Trent are hooking up? No. Trent only has eyes for Gwen. This has Heather written all over it. Gwen and I may not be friends anymore, but in the name of our past friendship, Heather is going down!"
...
It's time to open our chest. I hope I get something good. Poor Owen doesn't even get a chest because his key doesn't open anything.
"What the...?" Geoff says confusingly holding up a can of some sorts.
"Geoff will be able to cover up that foul stench with a can of New Cleaver Body Spray. Cleaver. It cuts through the stink," Chris explains.
"I just snorkled in a septic tank for cologne?! ...Nice!"
"Use it now," I tell him while plugging my nose.
...
It's finally my turn to open my chest, and I got a... remote?
"What does this mean?" I ask.
"Ohhh, Malibu wins TV privileges. The TV in the dinning hall is all yours for one night!" Chris explains.
"Cable and all?" I ask excitingly.
"Cable and all!"
I'm actually really excited about this. We haven't had any connection to the outside world since starting the competition. No phones, no cable, no nothing! I'm desperate, there's no telling how many episodes of 'Survivor' I've missed.
"I hope everyone got the treasure they were looking for and more. But now, it's time to do your duty and send one of you off the island for good. So cast your votes, and I'll see ye buckaneers back at the campfire after sundown! Arr har har."
...
"Ok, so Heather won immunity for this week, which sucks! But I don't care, I am not voting Trent off. He's my friend, and he would never betray Gwen like that. I'm voting for Izzy, she shouldn't even be here."
...
"And now the moment we've all been waiting for. The moment of truth. Marshmallow time! You know the routine. Whoever doesn't get a marshmallow it's curtains for you. Malibu, Izzy, Geoff, Gwen, Leshawna. Lindsay, Bridgette, DJ, Duncan, and... Owen. Marshmallows for the lot of you."
Oh, no. Poor Trent!
"Sorry, dude. You're out," Chris says him.
"That's right! Take your two-timing ways back to where you came from!" Leshawna laughs.
"What? But I thought I was getting along so well with everybody," Trent says.
"I guess you were wrong," Heather says maliciously.
"You don't even care, do you?" Gwen asks her.
"Hey, just playing the game."
"Why should you care? You think I'm a cliché," Trent replies.
"Where'd you get that from?!" Gwen asks.
"Her," Trent answers as he points to Heather.
"You two are so stupid," I finally speak up. "Can't you see? This is all Heather and Lindsay's doing. Heather trapped you Trent, and Lindsay made sure Gwen saw it."
"I guess I jumped the gun on that one," Leshawna jumps in. "Told everyone to vote either you or Heather."
"But tonight I'm invincible. So that leaves poor old Trent here," Heather brags.
"Looks like we got played. Sorry, hun," Leshawna says to Gwen.
"Oh, no!" Gwen exclaims.
"It's okay. Whatever happened happened. At least we both know that we're still okay. We're still okay, right?" Trent asks Gwen.
"Yes," she answers sadly.
"I want you to be tough and fight through the end, for both of us. I'll be watching and cheering for you back home."
"Trent! You have an appointment at The Dock of Shame and a ticket for The Boat of Losers. Let's go," Chris interrupts.
We all walk Trent to the Dock of Shame. It's a shame really. I try to vote for people who deserve to go home, it's only fair, and Trent did not deserve to go home. At least, not for that. I wish everyone would've actually thought about it and see that this was all Heather. And let's not forget about her little minion, Lindsay.
"Bye, Trent," I say to him and give him a friendly hug. "I'm sorry for what Heather did to you."
"Don't be, it's not your fault. Good luck, Mal. Oh, and you still have my number, right?"
"Of course. Take care, Trent."
...
I sneak outside of my cabin and make my way over to the bathrooms. Heather is taking a shower, perfect. I can use this time to strike.
"What are you doing?" Someone asks from behind startling me.
"Ah!" I scream. "Oh, hey, Leshawna."
"You aren't getting back at Heather for what she did to Gwen are you?" She asks.
Busted.
"Ok, I am. So what?"
"You obviously care about the girl. Just go talk to her."
"I'm not ready," I tell her.
"But you're willing to sabotage the girl who screwed her over?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.
"Ok, you caught me. You're right, I was hurt. I felt like all of my friends turned their back on me, and I thought I was going to get voted off the island because of stupid boys and stupid Lindsay. I know this is a competition, but before I came here, I promised my mom and Warner that I would try to have fun, make memories, and I did that, yet I still end up being betrayed and miserable. I will talk to her, ok? But right now, I want to get back at Heather for being a mega b*tch."
"Well I'm glad. Winning the money is important, but so are memories and having fun. Now, what have you got planned?" she asks with a mischievous grin.
"Well..."
I tell her my plan and she helps me unscrew the pipes. We attach the pipe that supplies water to the showers and attach it to the sewage line. The pipes begin to sputter, and moments later we hear Heather's annoying high pitch screams coming from inside the bathroom.
Leshawna and I crack up laughing and we high five in triumph.
What a beautiful ending to an awful day.
...