He has no need for faith who knows the uncreated, who has cut off rebirth, who has destroyed any opportunity for good or evil, and cast away all desire. He is indeed the ultimate man.
-Gautama Buddha
So, so, so sorry for this being so extremely late. My sister's side of this is already done and has been for literal months. I, however, couldn't find the motivation to write it even if it was right in front of me. I just couldn't and for that I'm sorry.
(I hope you guys enjoy it, even if it's heckin' late!)
epilogue
Being home, he's aware that Castor gets up and out of bed before his body ever considers him ready to wake up, but it still sucks sometimes to wake up with empty arms. It's always a bit off putting when his brain registers that there's no one next to him.
This morning, he was conscious enough to be confused when there's some kind of noise--crinkly like plastic, then fumbling like something's getting caught, both orangey and dark--in the room around him.
Then, the smell of hot chocolate reaches him.
"Hmgh?" He sleepily questions, not willing to lift his head from the pillow.
In response, the god climbs into bed and casually sits on Jazz's lower back, leaning to kiss his cheek.
"Jitterbug." Green sparks behind closed eyelids and he gets kissed again. "It's time to get up."
"Hmm," he grunts, stuffing his face closer to the pillow. "No, it's not."
"Au contraire, Love, because it definitely is. We have somewhere to be."
Jazz hums. "Hell?"
"Eventually, yes." Agreeing, his celestial presses a soft kiss against the back of his neck, which feels nice enough that he relaxes. "No, Jitterbug, don't--" He growled. "--go back to sleep. I'm taking you to my safe place, and it's a cliff. And it's winter. Which means we really want to be there when the sun is still out and if we try to go later in the day my family will distract us."
Aw. That sounds cool.
Grumbling, Jazz turns to the side to face Castor more, shifting a bit under him. "Can't get up if you're on me, my star."
"That's bullshit and we both know it, but fine." With a huff, Cas flops over onto his side of the bed. "Now you really have to get up, my love."
All part of the plan.
"Jokes on you," the musician chuckles out, rolling over to be pressed on top of him instead of actually getting out of bed. "Now you can't get up, either."
"Jasper," the god groans but he only nuzzles into the side of his neck. "I made you hot chocolate and everything. Please get up?"
Tempting offer, but Jazz just tightens his arms and continues to cuddle.
Growling as he moves, the celestial wraps his legs around his hips and pushes on his shoulders so they flip around again. Surprised, Jazz feels his cheeks heat up, merely blinking as he pins his arms down with one hand and grabs his jaw with the other.
"I'm so done being nice," he announces. "Get up or I'm gonna make it so you're sore and then have to go climb through the woods."
"Bossy," he pouts, delighted. "But fine, I'll get up."
Knowing he won, Castor grins and drops the hold on him, smoothly moving to stand off the bed. Horrible, horrible man he's in love with, leaving him like this.
"I'm gonna get the ice skates, put them in the car, and make sure our phones are charged." He says, points to the cup of supposed hot chocolate, then moves towards the door.
"Imma get dressed." He nods. "Say hi to whoever you see, please! From me, not you. Though you can say hi from you, too."
He shakes his head, nose wrinkling. "Only one person is awake, that's Kaia and I already spoke to her. I'm going straight--" He squeaks, it's a brighter green than usual. "--to the skates. No bullshit tours for niceties even if I happen to pass her."
"Aw, okay," Jazz continues to speak through a yawn. "Would she get bothered if I said hi to her myself, though?"
"Depends on how much coffee she's had." He shrugs, squinting a bit, and he realizes that the god doesn't have his glasses on. "I say go for it."
"Okay." Beaming, Jazz leans over to gently hit his forehead against my shoulder affectionately before he stands and tightens his short strings. "When does everyone else usually wake up?"
"Nemesis and Circle will probably wake up around 11, Noel will wake up around nine--nine, one-one--well, fuck," he laughs at the tic, green bursting from his mouth. "And fuck if I know when Max wakes up."
"Ah," he nods again. "The gringo."
Seeming a little unsure of the meaning, Castor raises an eyebrow. "He's a what?"
"Oh," the musician flushes, eyes a bit wide. "Um. He's a, a stupid white boy? A gringo?"
With a smirk and a shake of the head, his celestial raises up and presses a quick kiss against Jazz's cheek. "I will never not find it adorable how you try and fail to insult people in other languages around me without me knowing."
"Well I did do it without you knowing what it was," he defends himself. "I just... also explained it to you?"
"That's my point, Jasper," Cas says. "I'll get all the shit, you get your pretty ass together for the day."
He sighs but does as requested--they do have plans, after all.
*************
The woods around them weren't necessarily deep and didn't creep him out--but the fact that they had to mark on the side of an unmarked road honestly freaked him out just a bit.
Once they did get out, Jazz was right by the god's side, holding tightly onto one of his hands. They were colder than his but they were familiar, comforting.
"How deep is it?" He can't help but to ask, minty eyes scanning the snow and trees.
"About a fifteen minute walk in good weather." Castor wrinkles his nose and gives his hand. "If this starts feeling too much like a horror movie, tell me--" He growls. "--and we'll go back home."
"Honestly, you've reminded me of DeadPool enough times that the horror movie vibes don't bother me too much anymore." Jazz shrugs, trying rather hard to ignore the heart pounding in his chest. "I just don't want to get lost, 'cause you're still cold somehow even with a coat."
Rolling his eyes, the celestial unfortunately takes his hands back to press against his cheeks as if that proved anything.
His nose wasn't red yet, so maybe it did.
"My hands are probably the warmest because of you," he huffs. "So I don't know what you're complaining about. I'm not that cold."
"Your hands are usually colder than the average human's hands, which I am not complaining about, just slightly worried about."
Cas waves him off. "Even if it's a little shitty, I'm sure my circulation is fine."
"It's the ichor ruining through you, if anything," Jazz says.
Scowling, Castor recaptures his hands, and he goes to go forward--but then he sees the red ears and the twist in the green that the celestial always has when blushing.
"Wait, wait, wait," the musician laughs, dropping the ice skates to pull him back back, cupping the god's face in both his hands. "Is that why you don't blush so much? You stop yourself?"
Although there's no verbal answer, the narrowed eyes he gets tells him all he needs to know. Jazz leans down and kisses him, happy to find this out, and smiles widely down at him after he pulls away.
This, in turn, gets him a smile from Castor, too.
"That actually makes a lot of sense," he notes. "When you blushed on the plane, it was when you were distracted. And when we--"
"Well I'm happy you figured this all out," Cas interrupts, raising his hand to the musician's wrist before he can get too flustered. "But you'll have all the chances in the world to make me blush- -bit hot innit- -when we actually get to the cliff."
"Hm, alright." He laughs. "I'm not going to miss making your happy place just a little happier."
Dropping his wrist, Jazz interlocks their fingers--pausing to pick up the skates--before continuing on the spooky walk towards the cliff.
Honestly, he's only a little curious about how the celestial found it.
And a little concerned. It is a cliff, bad things could happen if someone fell--but, maybe, that's the point.
"It's not really a happy place, it's just where I go when everything feels bad, or if I'm really confused about something. It's a safe place, and everything bad gets locked up there." Castor explains "But occasionally I go there with someone I love and we have a good time."
Someone he loves?
Jazz tilts his head, curious. "Who's the last person you went with?"
"Circe, when she gave me that fucking bloody nose and I locked her out of the car."
Oh. He remembered that--both the picture and the phone call.
"Woo," the musician says in a sing-song voice. "Fun."
Then, in front of them, the trees give way to a clearing of some sort, distracting.
There's a large cliff edge, ridges sharp and distinctly made by the water, giant rocks sticking up from between the waves that are frozen by thick-looking ice.
It's all covered in a thin layer of snow--it's beautiful.
"For a place that keeps a lot of really shitty secrets," Castor started. "I think it's pretty beautiful up close."
"It is." He smiles, taking another look around, mint colored eyes catching on the top of the cliff, eyebrow raising. "I've seen a lot of beautiful things, and this place certainly qualifies for being high on the list."
"Ah," his boyfriend nods. "You must be at the very top then."
"Pfft." With a laugh, he nudged their bodies together. "You're such a simp."
"Yeah, sure." Cas snatches the skates from him, green happy and light. "Given how much of a puppy dog you act around me and act like such a bottom ninety-five percent of the time, I think you've got dick to say about anyone else being a simp."
"Hey," he shakes their hands scoldingly. "Just because I'm a simp for you, doesn't mean that you can't simp for me too. Rude."
Castor bumps his side in the same scolding manner--and then Jazz's feet are going out from under him, legs and arms flailing as a surprised noise bursts from his mouth. FInally, he can catch himself on the biggest rock close to them, and freezes.
The celestial, like the traitor he is, laughs at him having slipped. The musician turns to him, a betrayed look plastered across his features.
Cas must find this funny, because his head gets thrown back in laughter, and it takes a good minute to stop.
Jazz watches with a soft smile, a warm filling in his chest.
Gods, he'd slip hundreds of times if it meant hearing that.
"What?" Castor asks once he gets his chuckles under control, cheeks flushed and as twinkling as he moves closer, wrapping his arms around the musician's waist, head tilted back to look at him. "You have to admit Love, that was funny."
"I love you, my star." Jazz tells him, arms wrapped around his back.
Grinning, Cas raises a hand up and pokes his nose. "I love you too, Jitterbug."
After that, it doesn't take much time--probably because his boyfriend tied his laced for him--before the both of them are on the ice. The celestial skating backwards, hand holding one of Jazz's.
He's so, so grateful he's been skating before.
Otherwise, his clumsiness would probably kill them both, somehow.
"One of these days, Jasper Red," Castor begins, shoulders jumping in a tic. "I'm going to marry you, and every winter we're going to come out here--husbands--and every winter I'm going to fall in love with you all over again."
That... he wants that.
He really, really wants that--a forever with his celestial sounds amazing.
With his cheeks heating up and mint eyes going wide, Jazz's hold on the other's hands tightens as they come to a slow push on the ice.
"You hate winter," he can't help but to say.
"Doesn't matter." Castor says, confident and swirling in green. He pushed back on the ice and threw his arms out, as if displaying all the snow. "If I can fall in love with you in a place like this, even after I'm already in love--bit hot innit--than anything is possible. And that's coming from a pessimist."
Anything is possible.
This is something he wishes he believed earlier.
Skating back closer, Castor grabs his hand and helps him stand up straight, pulling him slightly.
"Wait, Castor, what if I fall?" Jazz pushes back on the skates, which fails to do what he wanted, and ends up clinging onto his celestial when he starts to slip.
"Then I'll catch you," he says--but it sounds more like a promise. "This place isn't magical like butterfly land, but there's something in the ground that makes you always feel better than you actually are. So by that logic, you should be fine."
"Yeah by that logic." He grumbles, pouting down at the ice. "But my logic tells me I'll fall through the ice, get cold, then die."
Shrugging, Cas pushes away from him and skates right out to the middle of the ice.
Evil. His boyfriend is evil.
"This is the weakest part of the ice always," this information is given to him with a smirk. "And you're worried about falling through the ice?"
"Star--"
"I can, so, fix this little problem of yours." Ticing, his shoulders jump and his arm flicks out to the side.
A moment later, as if he got unwound by an invisible force, Castor jumps--a good food or two from the ice--and fall as hard as he seemingly can. The sound is sharp and yellow, traveling like ribbons outwards from the collison.
Though the ice gets two new sharp dents from the skates, the god easily moves from the middle to one of the big rocks.
"There," he breathes out, turning back to him. "No more worrying."
That--could've been really dangerous.
"What is wrong with you!" Without thinking, Jazz is quick to skate forward, moving until he could take Cas's face in his hands and place a rushed kiss onto cold lips. "You could have gotten hurt, or fallen through, or, or... please be careful, Castor. I don't want you getting hurt."
Nodding, Castor kisses him in reply.
Before it could get too heated--which definitely isn't good to do on ice--the celestial pulls himself out of the hold and rushes across the ice.
"I so bet that I can--" He growls. "--out skate you."
"I've been skating since I was three." A fact, but not something he's confident in.
Smirking, Cas shakes his head. "But I've played hockey since I was nine."
"You have Tourette's."
"You're clumsier than my Tourette's."
Mint green eyes drop to give his boyfriend a once over before glancing back up. "You're short."
Castor makes a face before flipping him off. "I'm average!"
"Maybe later," he says, looking between his hand and his eyes, suggestiveness making his cheeks stain red. "And my point stands that my legs are longer than yours. I could win."
He pushes closer, not rushing, not wanting the other to notice what he was doing.
"You can suck my dick later, if anything." Cas continues, glaring, though there's something pleased in his voice. "And you can't."
Jazz puts a hand on his side, backing them up against the cliff's edge.
Castor reaches out and takes his free wrist in his hand, pinning it to his side, before he turns his skate to the side and effortlessly switches their position--now the one to press the musician up against the stone.
Honestly, he just wanted to be close, so this works out.
"You're gonna lose." Jazz tells him, smile still stuck on his lips.
"Oh?" Cas raises a hand to hold his chin, hand stretching so the edge of his fingers could feel his pulse. "Is that so?"
Jazz nods, gulping hard.
"You know, it's hard to skate after, um--" He cuts himself off, cheeks red, snake bites catching when he bites his bottom lip. "When I said 'later' I really meant now."
"Then we're going back to the car." Castor's hold drops to his belt, more to pull him than to undo it. "And we are coming back down here after, and I will kick your ass."
Jazz hmphs before pouting. "Bite me."
"Trust me," he's given a wink. "I plan to."
On the ice, half-flirting, half-arguing, all that he can think about when he looks at Castor is that--through everything they've gone through and will go through--he's so very grateful to have found someone who he can love that doesn't care how differently they see the world.
That they can grow old together, they can have a happy ending, they can be each other's forever.
Jazz Red, through all his life, has seen the world as an astray of music and sound; green was always his favorite. It's a wonder, then, how lucky it is that he found someone who's green in all the ways that matter.
He's never been met anyone like his celestial before, never found another color like his. It's different, unique. It's them and theirs--an anomaly that he's been trying to define but can't, it's how they exist and how they love.
Castor is his anomaly.