Noah
Elle and I were in her room after I had driven her home from soccer practice. Her Dad was going to be late, some work thing, and Brad was staying at a friend's house, so of course Elle and I planned to take advantage of her empty house. Since we hadn't had much time to spend alone lately, with me being out of town over Spring Break, we also haven't talked again about how to tell Lee about us, but we both knew it was coming soon. It didn't worry me as much know that I knew Elle was ready and wasn't going to pick Lee over me. Plus, Lee and I were getting a long a lot better these days after the trip and the amusement park. I'm hoping Lee isn't going to freak out when he finds out, now that he hopefully doesn't think I'm as much of a jerk as he used to. I just want to make sure we tell him before prom, I really want to take Elle to prom.
I was sprawled out on Elle's bed, my after-school workout had been brutal today and I was worn out, although not too worn out to enjoy the time I had alone with my girlfriend. Elle was emptying out her soccer bag when I asked, "Hey, babe, why don't you leave that for later and come join me."
Without looking up at me, Elle retorted, "I just want to get this taken care of, so it doesn't sit in my bag all night and get all smelly."
I sit up and grab her arm trying to pull her towards me and joke, "I know you said your Dad was going to be late, but I don't want to cut things as close as we did the last time. I thought for sure he was going to catch me sneaking out of your house." I realize it's no time for joking, though, once I get Elle to turn around and see a tear run down her cheek. I thought something had seemed off with her today. "What's wrong, did I do something? Shell, tell me what's wrong?" The sight of Elle's tears has always made me want to fix things for her, even when we were kids. My first memory of Elle in tears was when she fell off her bike and skinned her knee on our driveway. I helped her clean it up and put a band aid on for her and there was something about the way her watery eyes looked up at me that did something inside of me. I reach for her again, wanting her closer to me, so I can do whatever I can to make everything better.
But, Elle won't let me pull her closer, instead she's standing in front of me with a terrified look in her eyes. She won't look at me, though, her eyes looking anywhere but at me, when she finally answers, "I'm late."
"Late for what? Do you need me to take you somewhere?" I start to get off the bed, thinking we need to leave.
Elle's response is quiet, almost a whisper. "No, Noah. I think my period is late."
What? Holy shit, not what I was expecting at all. Without thinking, I fall back on the bed, my hands running through my hair. I can tell by the way she's looking at me that I need to say something, I just can't seem to form the words. Finally, I ask, "You think? Isn't that something you should know?" Watching Elle's face crumple before me, I realized that was not the right thing to say.
"I'm not sure. . . it's never very regular so I don't know if it's just starting later or if there's a reason it's late."
"Well, do you feel like you could be pregnant?" I'm sure I've learned something about all of this in school but for the life of me I couldn't remember anything.
Elle continues to stare at the floor, her fingers playing with the hem of her shirt when she answers. "I think it's too early to tell. But then, since I'm worried about it, I feel like everything could be because of that. I'm tired, is it because I'm pregnant or because we stayed up talking until midnight? My stomach is upset, is it because I'm pregnant or is it because I ate a bunch of junk food today? Or could it just be because I'm so worried about this I can't think of anything else?" Elle finally looked up at me, throwing me a sad smile. "I don't know, I think stress can cause it to come late too and this is definitely making me stressed."
I tried to get out of my own head and put myself in Elle's shoes, she must be so freaked out. Not that I'm not freaked out about it, but she's been worried about this all on her own. I really looked at her and realized that she did look like she was stressed out, how did I not notice before? I reached out for her hand one more time and finally succeeded in pulling her onto my lap. I wrapped my arms around her and she leaned into me. I kissed the top of her head before asking, "How long has this been going on, Shell?"
"All week."
"You should have told me." I squeezed her even closer and finally felt her relax into me. I rub her back with one of my hands, while my mind is in overdrive trying to think of how to fix this.
"I didn't want to worry you. I kept telling myself that it wasn't really late and I was sure I would get it the next day."
"But you've been worried, you shouldn't have to deal with it yourself. Whatever happens we did it together, you shouldn't be on the hook for any of this by yourself."
"I know. I never thought you wouldn't be there for me. I think part of me thought it would make it more real if I told you. Otherwise, I could believe it still wasn't possible." Elle finally stopped playing with her shirt and instead laced her fingers through mine, holding on tight.
"I thought we've been careful."
"We're usually careful, but you know there have been times when we haven't been. All it takes is once."
"You probably should have started the pill."
"It's a little late for that now. And anyway, how would I have explained that to my dad? I'm having sex with my nonexistent boyfriend and want to be protected? I can't imagine talking to him about it."
"What about my mom?"
"It's the same issue. As far as they know, I'm not with anyone. Am I supposed to say that I'm having sex with random people?"
"Maybe this would have been a good reason to tell someone about us. We may not have an option now."
"Can we not get into that again right now? I'm stressed out about this enough now without getting into this fight again."
"You're right, I'm sorry. I'm trying to process this." I was quiet for a minute, holding on to Elle and trying to come up with something productive to say, something that would actually help the situation and not make Elle feel worse. "Do you want to take a test?"
That seemed to make things a little too real for Elle, her face crumpled again as she exclaimed, "Noah, what if I'm really pregnant? I'm still in high school. You're getting ready to go to Harvard soon."
"Or wherever else I end up. I could go somewhere closer to home."
Elle shot me her no arguments stare. "You're going to Harvard."
With a sharp inhale, I asked the big question, "So, if you are pregnant, would you want to keep the baby?"
"See, I knew it would feel more real once I told you and you started asking questions."
"I know it's hard, but it's probably a good idea to at least think about some of this."
"I haven't made myself think that far ahead yet, I'm still trying to convince myself that it's not possible, that there's no way I can be pregnant." Elle slowly continued, "But. . . truthfully. . . if I am, I can't imagine not keeping our baby, Noah. Although, honestly, I can't imagine us actually having a baby together either. Not right now for sure. I can't believe this is happening at all. But, regardless of how hard everything would be, I don't think I could not have our baby. This baby would be part of you and me. Would you be upset if I wanted to keep it?"
"No, of course I wouldn't be upset with you. We'll figure this out. We'll have our families to help us out and I will be there for you, whatever happens. I love you, Shell."
"I love you too, Noah. I feel better now that I've told you. Can we wait until tomorrow to get a test, though? I just need a little more time."
"Yeah, whatever you want to do. If you still haven't gotten it by after soccer practice tomorrow, we'll drive to a drugstore far enough away that we won't run into anyone we know and buy a test. Then, we'll figure out whose house will be easier to sneak in so you can take it. Do you want me to come back over tonight and spend the night with you?"
"I'll be okay. I do feel better about everything already after talking to you about it. You should get out of here before Dad gets home. I'll see you in the morning. Love you."
Elle may have felt better after talking about it with me, but it's all I can think about now. Of course, this would be the night of one of our mandatory family suppers. I made it through supper on autopilot, hardly paying attention to anything that was said by my family. As soon as we were done, I took out my motorcycle and just drove for a while. I found myself at the spot where I usually did when I needed to think – the Hollywood sign. My mind was running through all the different scenarios I could think of. The rest of my time there was spent online, learning far too much about pregnancy, late periods, etc. Once I had myself sufficiently freaked out, I drove back home.
I toss and turn all night, finding it almost impossible to sleep. Thoughts of a pregnant Elle won't stop running through my mind. I don't know how we let this happen. Not that I would mind spending forever with Elle, but we're nowhere near ready for that yet and we're far too young to start a family now. Plus, she was so upset tonight, I hate to think that it was my fault. I must have finally fallen into a fitful sleep not long before it was time to wake up. The alarm from my phone interrupted a dream with a very pregnant Elle walking the halls of our school with me trying to protect her from everyone who was gossiping about her. Pushing myself out of bed, I thought I might as well get this day started. I can't hide from it any longer. Glancing at my phone, I see I have a text from Elle. I hope she's doing okay this morning.
Elle – Good news – I got it this morning!
Noah – So, you're for sure not pregnant?
Elle – No!
Noah - Thank God!
Elle – I guess it must have been the stress of worrying about it that made me late and you helped calm me down about it.
Noah – Whatever it was, I'm just glad we don't need to worry about it anymore.
Elle - Me too! I'll see you soon, I love you!
Noah - I love you too!
A/N - Thanks for waiting 2 weeks for the update on this one! My new Kissing Booth story has been posted, so if you haven't gotten a chance, check it out! I'll continue to update this story every other week, while I get the new story started.
And, if you haven't read my first story, Unavoidable, take a look at that one too!