HER MIXTAPE
I'D BITE MYSELF AND TAKE OUT MY FEELINGS WITH MY TEETH
DACIA MARAINI, tr. by Tim Vode, from Dreams of Clytemnestra
HER MIXTAPE / WRITTEN BY FAYE
Guilt had a way of haunting you when you least expect it.
It usually felt like bullets surging into your chest, and you could feel the burning metal cut through the layers of your skin, break through your bones and pierce your heart. Guilt was a wound that could barely be healed because it scars, leaving behind a memory to never forget.
"Lucky to be alive," they would say, but Ruth Newby-Davis barely felt alive, to begin with. The guilt had struck her for the first time—bang —first bullet. She could feel it in her heart, the way it burns and aches. She could feel it in her lungs, the way they had collapsed against her will to breathe. She was in a fight, herself against her guilt, for far, the guilt was winning.
No matter how many punches she could swing, no matter how many kicks she could master. The guilt had never backed down, and neither had the memory of her mother's blood coating her shaky hands.
Ruth had been a walking tragedy and people stared at her with their eyes brimmed with pity, all that because words go around fast when housewives have nothing better to do than dig their noses in someone else's business.
People thought of her as lucky—but she felt anything but lucky.
All she wanted to do was run. Run as fast as her feet could take her. Run until she felt the sting in her lungs and she wasn't able to take another breath. Run away from her mistakes. Run away from her past. Run away from the emotion—the loud thoughts. Run away from the truth. Because the truth was much more terrifying than guilt.
The truth left her ears ringing and barely able to hear, barely able to see with the tears that grew in her eyes. Ruth would give up anything for it to go away, but she had nothing left to lose.
Nothing but the stupid cassettes stacked in a box under her bed. Nothing but the walkman given to her mere hours before her mother's last breaths. Nothing but the music put the ringing to ease. Her only escape from the world that never treated her well; her mixtape. And also... her.
The girl out of her reach.
JUST YOU WAIT. WE ALL TURN
INTO OUR MOTHERS
NADIA TURNER
RUTH NEWBY-DAVIS
💫
Lost in the labyrinth of my mind.
💫
Sadie Sink. . . MAX MAYFIELD
My words shoot to kill when I'm mad.
💫
Jessica Chastain. . . EMILIA DAVIS ♱
Did my best to exist just for you.
💫
DANI PATEL
I was making my own name, chasing that fame, he stayed the same.
💫
Noah Jupe. . . ALEX MAGUIRE
Oh, summer child, you don't have to act like all you feel is mild.
💫
Ross Lynch. . . RICKY MAGUIRE
All of my past, I tried to erase it.
CAST
SEAN ASTIN, Bob Newby
WINONA RYDER, Joyce Byers
NOAH SCHNAPP, Will Byers
CALEB MCLAUGHIN, Lucas Sinclair
DAVID HARBOUR, Jim Hopper
STRANGER THINGS CAST, Their characters
author's note.
round 3 ladies and gents and gays and theys
the way i had to fight the urge to make a mood board for every damn character in this show
also new fc for emilia davis <33 jessica chastain... but don't quote me on that, there are 3 actresses i can't choose from. nicole kidman, cate blanchett and jessica chastain. you guys can imagine her as any of the three tbh. they all just fit.
soo... this is awkward. um. hi, welcome to the rewrite LMFOADF
i was in a huge dilemma because i realized the ending of the og Her Mixtape IS SO FUCKING CONFUSING no matter how much i try to write around it IT MAKES NO SENSE (i'm talking about the season 3 ending btw not season 4). it's like a whole chapter is missing and the reason it makes no sense is that there IS a whole chapter missing 😐😐 THERE'S ALSO SO MANY PLOT HOLES
so, i have decided to rewrite it. the whole fucking book. because i have nothing better to do. i have school... but i don't like school. so i'm doing this instead.
UM PRETTY MUCH THIS WHOLE BOOK IS JUST KINDA THE SAME BUT ALSO NOT THE SAME AT ALL because i have a deeper backstory for rue and her mother that really fits because if you really really think about it. and really think about it. emilia's death was.... kinda... uhm.
i have a new plot (just details nothing super major) WE NEED FIXING.
i also changed up the relationships with her because there's no fucking way that only mike wheeler found her annoying 😐😐 when i was rereading rue got on my fucking NERVES BRO FR not all the time but some scenes and they were really out of character.
speaking of character, rue has no personality 🙄🙄 i swear i wrote her based on my mood back then because one second she was stuttering and the next she's cocky asf PLS but i love her anyways cause she's bae.
get ready for a hell lotta pain.
to sum it all up, this book will have a lot of deleted scenes, new backstories, extras, and BETTER WRITING !! also new casting for certain characters 🤭🤭
also a new playlist + rue's personal mixtape will be available on spotify soon!
stranger things 4 is taking so fucking long 😐 this book is the only thing keeping me in the fandom i swear to god.
warnings/triggers.
instead of putting a trigger halfway through the chapter i'm just gonna say it here. this book has a really depressing plot. like it's sad, really sad. ig. i dunno that's what people told me and i'm starting to feel really bad when people tell me i made them cry, i laugh a little bit a first but then i feel bad. especially when it's on the topic that i've written something that totally triggered them. so
content warnings include: PTSD, graphic violence, homophobia, racism, prejudice, classism, drug use, discussions of trauma, body dysmorphia, illusions, non-consensual situations, death & mentions of death, possible self-harm??? (doubt it though), uhh monsters from another dimension, gore, grief, and depression. possible loss of hearing... i don't know if that's a trigger but i'm adding it anyway.
WRITTEN. december 9th 2021 - FINISHED. tbd
© 2022 fayesmixtape