Hello, my readers! :) So, finally I can upload the next chapter, here it is... But I hope it isn't too long, it became longer than I expected! :P But Liam will have a little part in the end now! :) Waited for this chapter? Oh, and btw yesterday I went up on wattpad and saw that I still only had 11 reads and no votes, so I was quite sad and I started to think this story wasn't really a good idea after all, but I came up today and my jaws dropped! Okay, it's only 3 votes, but I'm really, really happy, you guys really made my day, because you know these are my first three votes! :D So I think it's reeeeaaaalllyy much!! :D <3 So thanks. :)
I put The Script: You won't feel a thing to this chap, because I think the lyrics fit... Idk. :P
This chapter is dedicated to @EdnaOrellana, my first reader! :) Thanks <3
Chapter 2
I stepped in my school. The place I dreaded so much. The place I dreaded even more than my home. The place I dreaded even more than the place I saw my Aunt fall down unconciously, and never woke up again. The place my dad stepped in with a gun, and ruined our life. The place my mum hit me first.
I had one friend here. Just one. Lily. I actually really loved her, she was so cute, and lovable... and she did love me too. We were best friends since high school. We sorta had the same interests... But one thing was for sure: We both loved to fangirl over One Direction. I had a little crush on Liam Payne, and she on Harry Styles. We both had a dream that mabey one day we’ll meet them and fall in love with them, then marry them and have kids. I was especcially fangirling, since Liam and Danielle broke up about a month ago. He was single! Yeah. That’s us. Wierd, huh?
And... the other’s in school... Well, let’s just say, they weren’t the first people I’d say in my friend list.
„Oww!” I cried, as someone bumped into me, and I fell on the floor, books and everything fallling around me.
„Oh, sorry, Lacie! I didn’t see you!” a quite familiar voice said.
„Jake!” I said sarcastically. „How are you today?”
„I’m just just fine, you?” I looked up at him, to see he was smiling widely.
„I was just fine!” I said. I started to pick up my books, and saw that he was standing on one of my papers. It was my test we had to give in today! Oh no, Jake! I was ready to kill him.
„Oh no!” he said, looking where I was. He picked my paper up, tearing it slightly.” I am so sorry! Does this mean you have to write it again?” he asked, handing it to me.
„Sure you are!” I mumbled, and grabbed it from him. It was all ruined.
„What’d you say? You don’t believe I’m sorry?!” he asked, ready to hit a girl.
„Jake...” a girl voice sqealed, and Amanda stepped forward from behind Jake. This surely was my best day. Jake and Amanda to deal with in the morning.
Amanda was the prettiest girl in school. She had straight, golden hair compared to my blonde which started to fade into brown, making quite a mixed colour which I hated. She had a pretty face with a great smile, which everyone said was like an angel’s, she had the prettiest look, she was slim, she was everything everyone wanted. When I looked at her, my hair looked browner and wavier, my eyes grayer, and my body less slim. I wasn’t fat, no, I was slim in fact, but I didn’t look as good as her at all, and she definitely had better clothes and accesories, since I didn’t really have money for great expenses on clothes. Actually, last time I bought a pretty scarf I wanted to get for months, my mum shouted with me for hours because of spending money on useless things.
„She’s not worth it...” she said smiling widely.” So sorry for my boyfriend! He really could be so annoying sometimes...” she smirked, then they melted into a deep kiss. They even did something with their tounges. Eew. I hated that.
„Oh, sorry for doing it here...” Amanda said after finishing the kiss.” You must be so exhausted that you don’t have a boyfirend at all. Not to mention, I have the best in school.”
What was she thinking?! I wasn’t jelous at them at all! I wouldn’t love a jerk like Jake, and I didn’t need any boyfriend! ...Or did I? Never mind that now. The point is I wasn’t jelous.
„Umm... no problem” I said and walked away quickly, secretly rolling my eyes.
I forgot to mention, half of the school was looking at me and laughing at me by then.
I went to my locker and opened it to see tons of hating papers slip out. I picked them up, but didn’t look at any of them, just crumbled them all up and threw them in my bag. I didn’t have the mood to read them right now. Actually I never had, but sometimes I took myself to reading some and crying over them for hours.
I saw Lily running to me happily from a corner, trying to scare me, but I turned quickly, and we both squealed and hugged each other.
„Hey Lily, guess what?!” I said.” I’m gonna get my letter of accepting me to the french school I wanted to go to later this week!”
„Really? But… are you sure they’re gonna accept you? I mean…” she asked, but I cut in.
„Well, I hope they will! You know how much I love french, and this would be a dream come true. Just imagine! I’d be learning in Paris!” I said happily, imagining my future.
I always loved french. My mum and Aunt was half french too. I remember my Auntie teaching me words when I was little. I didn’t really learn much then, but she certainly taught me a good accent, and later I learnt French in school, and also learnt a bit more at home, so they’d accept me int he French University school.
I stumbled on the carpet and all the cookies we cooked fell off the plate. I started crying. I was only five or six.
Aunt Mary helped me up.
„It’s okay! Don’t cry… look” she said and picked up the plate I dropped.” There’s still a few on the plate. You know, I always say: Making something together is much better than enjoying what we made” then she tasted a cookie.” And it’s also delicious! You’re a perfect cook, my dear!”
I laughed and tasted a cookie too.
„It is!” I said and hugged Auntie Mary.” Thanks!”
„Merci… Say merci” she told me.
„Marcy!” I said happily.
„Merci, it’s merci, not marcy” she told me and corrected me, until it was perfect. She also just randomly talked to me in french sometimes.
„Well, it’d be great, if they accepted you…” Lily said” It’s just… You know, you’ll be so far…”
„Aww, I’ll miss you too, hun!” I cried. She’d really miss me that much. Aww, I loved Lily so much.” We can still talk through skype, you know? And you’ll come to me to Paris sometimes too!” I hugged her and she hugged back.
„Did you tell your mum though?” she asked, pulling away.
„N-no…” I admitted. To tell the truth, I didn’t want to tell her at all.” I’ll tell her, when it’s all sure. Then she can’t do anything about it. A-and it’s not that I’d want to get away from her, j-just…”
„Just what?” she asked pulling up an eyebrow.” Admit it, Lacie. You hate her!”
„I don’t hate her!” I gasped. That really wasn’t true. I loved her, just… Sometimes I was really angry at her, and she could make me cry a lot of times, but she was my mum, and she loved me, she was just always drunk and unconcious… was she?” I don’t want to get away from her-„ I started, but she shushed me.
„What?” I asked surprised.
„Ssh!” she whispered.” Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh! Is he gone?” she asked.
He?! I turned around, and could only see my worst enemies I already told you about.
I turned back to Lily, my mouth open in shock:
„You have a crush on Jake?!” I whispered frantically.
„Isn’t he cute?!” she asked me.” Amanda’s so lucky to have him!”
I looked back again. I wasn’t wrong. It was Jake.
„Yeah, sure!” I rolled my eyes, still not able to believe what I just saw.” I thought you had a crush on Harry Styles!”
„Yeah…”she said.” But you know, those are only childish dreams… We’re never really gonna meet them, so…”
I looked at her amazed. I never thought she’d say that. Directioners don’t say things like this! They never give up and always love them the same!
***
It was a Friday. October 23rd Friday. It all started out as one of my worst days in my whole life, I’d probably put it right after the day I lost my Aunt. But only until the end of the day. Because then it suddenly turned, and became one of my best days. A day I’ll never forget. A day I always remembered later a happier day than my birthday or christmas. The day my life started to become a miracle. The day I realized I was someone in this world, I wasn’t worthless, there was a reason for me to live… For something… for someone.
But to start it at the beginning, it all actually started quite good. I was going downstairs in the morning to shake myself up a little with a coffe. I actually loved coffe. And tea too. Yeah, a real British girl! I started singing some songs I loved sort of randomly, like a mix up. I started a song, then it faded into another. I loved singing, but I only did, when there was no one else around. Even Lily only heard me humming once, and she said it was great. Oh welll… I was sure, I didn’t want to be a singer. I got really nervous infront of others.
I had a dream last night that I was on a high building tied to the wall, and I struggled to free myself. Then suddenly I was free, but then nothing held me back from falling. So I fell and fell, then soemone caught me. It was Liam Payne. Then the dream was all good. We loved each other, and he said he’ll never leave and will always love me.
This dream was why I had such a good mood.
Drinking my coffe, I suddenly realized we had some new letters. They were lieing ont he floor infront of our door. I went there and picked them up.
„Bills, bills, bills…” I muttered, looking at them. I laughed at the thought that someone could write a song about always getting bills. I know, I am crazy.” Oh, my gosh!” I suddenly shouted.
It was a letter from the French school. I quickly tore it open, but didn’t pull the letter out at once. I was waiting for more than a week now to get this letter, and now here it was. I was so afraid of the words I’m going to read there, I stopped breathing.” It’s okay, Lacie. It’s okay. You did great, they’re going to accept you.”
I slowly pulled the letter out, just to see the first line.
Dear Miss Campbell,
Your request to study in our university has been rejected…
„No…” I cried going pale. This can’t be happening. I put so much on this. That I’m going to go there, leave my mum… wait. Was this really that I wanted to leave her? I didn’t hate her, no. I just… I was just scared of her…
I didn’t even read the rest of the letter, just that one sentence, over and over again.
Rejected… rejected… rejected… REJECTED… REJECTED!
That one word thumped in my head like the whole world was shouting that one word to me. YOU HAVE BEEN REJECTED!
I burst into tears. This couldn’t happen. Suddenly I felt like I have nowhere to go to, although I had a home I could go to any time. I didn’t know what I could do with my life now. Mabey I’m going to work in this little town Starbucks all my life. I don’t know. I had nothing to do. If I’d die today, no one would care.
Die…
That word went over and over again in my head as well, but I shushed it away quickly. I was crazy. This was only one place I could’ve gone to in the future. I was crazy not to think of what to do if they didn’t accept me.
I know this is wierd, but I decided I won’t go to work that morning. I would’ve already been about an hour late because of crying so much. I had no idea that going there would’ve been the best for me at the moment. My real family could’ve really brightened my day up.
I was walking in the silent halls. It was almost an hour before school started, and no one really was there yet. I rushed to the girl’s bathroom to wash my face a little, but I halted infront of the door. I heard voices. Normally I wouldn’t have cared at all, if I heard voices from the bathroom, but right now I felt like I shouldn’t go in. Mabey it was just because of the silent hall, but then I realized why it wasn't so good. It was Lily and Amanda!
„What are you doing with her?” I thought shocked and listened carefully.
„I knew you never really loved her…” said Amanda’s voice.
„Yeah… It’s just she was so lonely and everything, you know... I didn’t want to see anyone so alone. But now I can’t leave her! She always runs to me with her childish things and never leaves me alone, she’s quite annoying nowadays!” said Lily.
„What?” I thought and my jaws dropped open.” It was me who went up to you in first year when you were sitting so alone all the time! And if I’m so annyoing, I’m never going to go to you with my „childish” things anymore. But I think you say and do childish things!” I would’ve galdly said all these to her.
„I thought so…” Amanda said in her most charming tone.” You always seemed the clevrer one. That’s why I asked you to be friends with us…”
„With you?! Oh, of course!” Lily sqealed to be friends with the most popular girl in school. She only wanted you to help her in learning, that’s why! She doesn’t want to be friends with you, I screamed inside.
„But only…” Amanda said a bit annoyed.” If you let go of that daughter of a criminal. I wouldn’t want my friend talking to someone, who’s father is in jail. She could do anythin gto you! If her father could kill someone, why couldn’t she?” she said, and I put my hand to my mouth to hold back my cry out. My eyes watered in anger.
„Oh, yes! I was always afraid of her because of that too…” Lily said. Lily’s betrayal hurt me most. If she hated me so much, why didn’t she tell me before, why didn’t she leave me?!
„Then we’re agreed?” Amanda asked.
„Of course” Lily agreed at once. A sour tear dropped on my hand and I felt it melt.
They stepped out of the bathroom. I didn’t want to clean my face. Let her see what she’s done. I dropped my hand, as she walked out laughing with Amanda. Amanda didn’t even look at me. As if I was totally invisible.
I looked at Lily. We looked right in each other’s eye. She laughed too, but I saw a sort of ashame and guilt in her eye. It must’ve only been like two seconds, but it seemed like a lifetime that I looked at her with angry, shocked, tear stroken eyes, and she at me with wide opened eyes. She probably didn’t expect me too her it all out. They walked away.
***
I walked home, my eyes watching my feet as if that was the most interesting thing in the world at the moment. I was sad all day, avoiding everyone, especcially Lily. She was laughing happily with the popular girls and guys all day, but on the inside, I knew she really regreted what she’s done, because she called me all day, texted me with all sorts of sorry messages and telling me she wanted to talk, and she didn’t mean it like that, but I didn’t answer. I turned my phone off to stop the continous vibrating.
I stepped in the house, put my bag down, and was ready to lay down for a good sleep, when suddenly someone pulled me by my collar and hit me to the floor.
„Where did you put my medicine?!” It was my mum.
I daren’t look up at her.
„I-I-I… don’t-„ I stammered, but she slapped my face.
„Don’t tell me you don’t know! WHERE IS IT?!” she shouted at me.
I started crying. It wasn’t her medicine. It was her drugs. Yes, it was medicine too, but she overdosed herself. I didn’t want her to get sick or die, or anything to happen to her. I had enough by now of her eating all those drugs all the time.
„I threw them in the toilet. They’re gone…” I admitted scared.
She got me by the shoulder and started to shake me.
„How dare you, bad, bad girl?! I never should’ve had you! How dare you sneak into my property?! I hate you! Don’t you see?! I can’t live without it! It’s all because of your father!” It seemed like a lifetime until she stopped shaking me. Her fingers dug into my shoulders, and my theeth chattered together. When she stopped, I felt dizzy, I didn’t see well because of my tears, and my head was pounding hard.
„Then why did you have me?!” I asked. It felt like it would’ve been much better if I would’ve never even got born.” Why did you ever get together with… with him?” I daren’t say the word „dad”. I hated him at the moment. I hated the whole world at the moment. Everything came out of me, though I have never told her anything this rude. It must’ve been really hard for her. But right then I didn’t care.
She looked at me with wide eyes, like remembering something that was long ago.
„He… he was different then…” she said looking behind me at an invisible spot.” I was young, I was a teenage girl, I didn’t think what I was doing…” she said in the tone you speak to your parents or teachers when you’ve done something wrong.” I thought I could have you, and my parents wanted me to marry the one the baby was from at once. It was first love, we didn’t mean it… He never really loved me…” she said, starting to sob.” Get away from my sight.” she said this in normal tone, almost a whisper, but I felt every anger there could be in it.
I ran up the stairs, and closed myself in the bathroom. I slid down, crying, and sat against the wall. I felt that I really hurt her now. I hurt her badly, but I didn’t want to, it just came out of me. Everyone hated me now, I had no one. Only my Aunt ever loved me. I wanted to get away from this terrible world. I wanted to die. Now. Death… I wasn’t afraid of it at all. Mabey because I wanted to get away from here so much, I don’t know, but I wasn’t afraid, and right now I felt like I could even kill myself.
I took my phone out of my pocket and unlocked it. I felt like I must talk to someone right now. I couldn’t talk to Lily at all, no. I couldn’t talk to Emma. She’d only call the police. She wouldn’t understand. The others in Starbucks would just freak out. I didn’t really have anyone to talk to. I looked at my One Direction wallpaper. There were the boys smiling at me. My eyes wandered to Liams face. I thought for a minute, then opened my twitter app. My twitter name wasn’t my real name, so I could freely write out anything. I was really stupid, and acted crazy, i know now, but then I couldn’t think of a better idea. I just had to tell someone, I don’t know why.
@liams_directioner15: „@Real_Liam_Payne I’m commiting suicide right now. Just wanted to tell someone, so bye. I love you. xx”
I was crazy at the moment, not thinking straight. I sent the tweet, and put my phone down.
I pulled out one of the washing liquids from the cupboard, I knew they were poison to drink. I also knew my death would last the longest, if I poisoned myself, but I wanted my mum to see what she’s done to me. To make her struggle too. I wasn’t thinking straight, I was stupid. I pulled the lid off, and looked at the pure white liquid. I frowned at the thought of drinking it, but I didn’t care. I wanted to die.
I was just about to drink it, when I heard my phone buzz off. I groaned. Lily didn’t send me a message for more than an hour now, so it probably wasn’t her. I couldn’t die without knowing who sent me a message. I peeked at the screen. I said I have a mention. I looked surprised at my phone. I never got any mentions, because I never even talked to my twitter followers.
I unlocked my phone, and my heart jumped a beat. I felt my face warm up, and my eyes widen. My mention was from Liam.
@Real_Liam_Payne: „@liams_directioner15 why would you commit suicide? don’t do itttt”
My heartbeat quickened. I started to smile. I read the tweet over and over again, to make sure it was real and it won’t disappear. Mabey mum shaked me so hard, I imagined things… But it was there. And from the real liam, not a fake one. He doesn’t want me to commit suicide. He doesn’t want me to kill myself! Oh, my gosh…
My phone buzzed again. I had a new follower and a direct message. I looked at the DM first. IT WAS FROM LIAM! Okay, okay, Lacie, calm yourself! I took a deep breath and opened the DM.
„You wouldn’t really have killed yourself, would youu? :) Just trying to scare meee...”
I laughed at the way he wrote on twitter. He always wrote like that to us. Then my smile faded a little, but my heart still beat really fast.
„I would’ve. You sent me that tweet just in time… But I think I don’t have to kill myself anymore, because I’m already dieing at the thought of you DMing to me”
And of me DMing to you, just like that… I thought to myself, and sent the DM.
I looked at the screen and waited. I felt sort of relieved. I really would’ve commited suicide, if Liam didn’t tweet me, I wasn’t scared, buit suddenly the feeling to live came back to me. Just the feeling that you were living. I was stupid to try and kill myself. I put the lid back on the „poison” and put it away.
My phone buzzed again. I was smiling widely now, my face all red, my heart beating fast. I WAS ACTUALLY DMING WITH LIAM PAYNE!! I checked again, but it wasn’t a fake Liam account. It was him.
„Why did you want to kill yourself?”
I typed in the answer and sent it:
"I had enough of life. My friend and mum hurt me. I have no one in this world to turn to anymore. :’(”
The answer came really soon. I was just afraid sometime he’ll stop answering, or we’ll say goodbye and the conversation will end, like a dream.
"That’s bad. :( But I hope you don’t want to do anything like that anymore. Otherwise I’ll be really sad”
I smiled.
„You’ll be sad? Because of me? I’m no one special. If you’d know who I am you wouldn’t send DMs to me…”
I didn’t want him talking to me, then someday realizing who I was and hating me. That’d be the worst.
„Why who are you?”
„The most unpopular girl in school, I’m not pretty, I’m bullied because my dad’s in jail, and my mum takes drugs. That’s all, so bye…”
I sent this DM sadly and waited anxiously. What will he answer to this? What could he answer to a DM like this?! Nothing else than „really? well bye”. I’ve been waiting for almost ten minutes then, and he replied instantly to my previous messages, so I was really scared now. He probably didn’t want to hurt me. He was so sweet, I loved him. I wrote him another message.
„You can tell me you hate me too. I won’t be angry, promise”
The reply came soon.
„Why would I hate you? None of these are your fault… besides… You don’t know you’re beautiful and that’s what makes you beautiful!”
I laughed. He really was the kindest person in the world.
„:) Mabey… at least I’m sure I won’t kill myself now because I have something to live for: I must always give you an answer ;)”
"And if that’s what I have to do to keep you from trieing again, I’ll be talking to you all my life”
My heart jumped. Really? Really? Would he really do this for me? Of course I didn’t resist. Before I could send the next DM, another message came from him.
„But you must hold on without me for now, because I must go now to record. Byeee :)”
I smiledl, but there was also a small fear in my heart that mabey he will forget to DM me again or just wrote this to avoid writing to me again…
„Bye :)”
I sent the DM.
I waited all day, and all next day, but he was nowhere. But he wasn’t on twitter at all since then, so I still had a bit of hope, though every time I went up on twitter and found no new DMs, I died a little on the inside.
Then the next day at night he finally wrote. And after that he always wrote. Sometimes he didn’t have time, but he never left me alone for a long time. He kept his promise. And I loved him more and more. I started to love this new Liam, the real Liam, that wasn’t just a poster on the wall, or someone so far away, I never even really believed he lived. He was a real, living person talking to me, and answering to me. he was mostly like everything we knew about him, but slightly different. And I loved him just the way he was, even though I never really saw him, or heard his voice. But he was there with me always, in my heart, and keeping from anything foolish. He was there, when I was sad, and he was there when I was happy. He was always there…
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Sooo, what do you think? :D Well, Liam didn't have a LOT of part, but he did have like a page.. ;) And he'll have more in the next chap, and the other boys will too. :) So please vote, comment, fan, and everything! :) It really means so much to me! Thanks! :) Love you all! <3
Oh, and btw, I'm really bad at casting, so if you have a better idea for anyone in the story, feel free to message me and I might change it, oh, and especcially with Lacie's mum and Emma... I have no ideas for them :P