( *** )
January 2016
19:47
At Y/N Home in England
Y/N POV:
The incessant rain taps against the windowpane, matching the dreary mood that has taken over my bedroom. I lie on my bed, watching Youtube on my phone, as the sound of the videos gets lost in the pitter-patter of the rain. A year has passed since I completed school, but I lost all motivation to do anything.
Suddenly, my mother's voice echoes through the hallway, breaking the silence. "Dinner is ready!" she calls out.
I set my phone down on my bedside table and slowly get up, slipping my feet into my favorite cow slippers. As I make my way to the kitchen, I realize that only my mother is there. Curiosity gets the best of me, and I ask, "Mom, where is Dad?"
"He's working late again tonight, so it's just you and me eating tonight, my baby," she sighs, her voice laced with a hint of sadness.
I can't help but notice the bags under her eyes and the way she moves slowly, as if weighed down by an invisible burden. "Mom, if I may ask, why are you still with him? You see what he does to you. How are you so strong, Mama?" I ask, my voice laced with pity.
"My baby, as you can clearly see, he is the only source of income we have. Without him, we wouldn't have anything," she says, her voice trembling.
I feel a pang of sadness in my heart as I hear her words. The man who should be her partner, her equal, has reduced her to a shadow of her former self. But before the conversation can get any more depressing, my mother changes the subject. "Okay, enough of this depressing conversation. How is your life, Baba? Do you have any boys you're eyeing?" she asks jokingly.
"Eww, gross. The only few things in my life that I adore are you, Holly, my canine best friend, and Allison," I laugh it off.
"How is Allison doing? I remember you talking about her mother being sick," she asks with concern.
"Well, really-" I start to say, but we're interrupted by a loud smash coming from the front door.
"Just go to your room. I will talk to you later," my mother orders, her voice firm.
I obey her command, taking my food and leading Holly back to my room. As I pass the foyer, I quickly greet my father, "Good night, Dad. The food is in the kitchen," he murmurs. "Good night, Y/N."
I close my door and put my food on my table. But as usual, the noise starts. He starts yelling, yelling at my mother. That man, he is no father of mine. He is merely wedded to my poor mother.
Soon a buzz comes from my phone and it lights up, I go near to see Allison texting me:
Ali:
Hey girl, you up? I was scrolling through jobs when this one popped
up, it's not my expertise, but it may be worth looking into you're nineteen Y/N
follow your dreams, don't you think? xoxo
She sent me a link, I haven't opened it up yet, but I send a message back:
You:
Hey Ali, yeah I'm still up, that idiot is at it again... But yeah
I'll check out the link in a few moments, I just wanna finish eating. xxx
As I open the link, my heart races with anticipation. It's a Marvel job application! Since I was just a little kid, I've been obsessed with superheroes. My favorite has always been Spiderman, the teen hero who I relate to so much. I glance down at my backpack, where my tiny Spiderman keychain hangs proudly.
Excitement bubbles up inside of me as I attach all the required documents and apply for the assistant/make-up artist position. Despite my nervousness, I know that I have done a lot of courses in the make-up industry during school, and I'm ready for this challenge.
But as I hit the "Submit" button, a nagging voice at the back of my mind reminds me not to get my hopes up too soon. Surely, there are more talented applicants than me? The guilt hits me hard when I realize that this job is in America, far away from my mom and dad. I can't bear the thought of leaving her with that lunatic...
But before I can dwell on my fears for too long, a notification pops up on my phone. My heart pounds as I read the message: "Y/N@gmail.com, thank you for applying. Your application will be assessed soon, and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have hope and trust that you will get the results you deserve. As Iron Man said, 'Don't waste it. Don't waste your life.' We at Marvel are glad you are trying to become a part of the Marvel family."
I swipe the notification away, feeling both grateful and terrified. Marvel wants me to be a part of their family. But at what cost? Can I really leave everything I've ever known behind to pursue my dream? These thoughts swirl around in my head as I crawl into bed, trying to fall asleep but finding it difficult amidst the turmoil in my heart.
22:59
As I stir awake, I hear the soft creaking of my bedroom door. It's my mom, entering quietly with a heavy heart. She moves to the side of my bed, leans down and tucks me in, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. Her tears fall silently, like raindrops in the night.
I open my eyes slightly, the room dark and quiet, and I see the sadness etched on her face. "Mom?" I ask softly, my voice barely above a whisper.
She turns her gaze to me, eyes glistening with unshed tears. "It's okay, honey," she whispers back, her voice barely above a whisper. "Go back to sleep. I'm here."
I feel her love and warmth radiating from her, wrapping around me like a comforting embrace. The familiar scent of her perfume, a mix of vanilla and lavender, fills my senses, lulling me back to sleep. As I drift off once again, I know that whatever troubles she's facing, I can count on my mom to be there for me, no matter what.
28 April 2016
17:54
Restaurant Ours in Londen:
"I don't understand why we had to eat out. Nothing special today. First, we went to watch that Avengers movie, and now this," the man complains.
I try to ignore his grumbling, but I can't help but smile when my dad mentions Civil War. Spiderman is my favorite hero, and he's played by one of my most longstanding crushes, Tom Holland.
"Honey, please stop it," my mom pleads, her voice trembling.
"Don't talk to me like that woman," he snaps back, making me cringe with embarrassment.
"Excuse me, may I go to the restroom?" I ask my mom.
"Go ahead, dear," she says, giving me a sympathetic smile.
As I make my way to the bathroom, I feel a buzz in my pocket. I take out my phone and read the message:
"Dear Y/N,
We are excited to announce a new family member into our huge Marvel family. We ask you to keep this a secret. Your application was brilliant, and we would love for you to assist us with our new movie, Spiderman: Homecoming. All of the necessary information is linked below - your hotel, plane ticket, and of course, the start date of filming. We apologize that we are expecting you next week, on the 2nd of May, in America, ready to film. Let's go BIG.
Signed, Jon Watts"
I can hardly believe it. I got the job! And on this very day of all days.
With a beaming smile, I return to the table and sit down next to my mother. Suddenly, I remember that I haven't even told them yet.
"Mom, Dad, there's something I never mentioned," I begin, my voice hesitant.
"What is it?" my mom asks, concern etched on her face.
"A while back, Allison sent me a job application to work on a movie," I say, feeling nervous.
"That's amazing, Y/N! America, huh? You must be over the moon!" My mom exclaims, a smile spreading across her face.
I nod, beaming with pride, but my excitement is short-lived as my dad interrupts with his typical negativity.
"Absolutely not! You can't just leave us like that. We had plans," he grumbles, his face contorting with anger.
I can feel my frustration building up inside of me. "Plans? You mean dragging us to some restaurant you hate and then making a scene?" I interject, my voice rising.
"I won't let you go!" My dad slams his fist on the table, causing a few nearby diners to look our way.
"Today of all days, you decide to be such a buffoon!" I shout, my voice breaking with emotion.
"What's so special about today?" He sneers, clearly not understanding the gravity of the situation.
My hands start to shake, and tears well up in my eyes. I can't believe I'm about to say this, "Today is my birthday, dad," I say, my voice barely above a whisper.
I push my chair back and storm out of the restaurant. My mom tries to follow me, but I'm too quick. I call a cab and make my way home, my phone buzzing with text messages from my mom.
Mama:
I'm sorry Y/N, please come back... He didn't mean it.
18:23
Please come back, don't leave us, don't leave me...
18:24
Baba
18:24
I've decided to come home, he went to the pub to cool off,
please if you really insist on leaving take this, its a plane
ticket for tonight it leaves at midnight, it's an 8 hour flight,
and with this you would be able to take a long Holly, please
baby girl, stay safe. Mother loves you.
18:34
Mother's POV:
As I arrive home, the empty silence of the house hits me like a ton of bricks. It's as if all the warmth and joy of the place has been sucked out of it. My heart heavy with dread, I call out to my daughter.
"Y/N! Sweetie, are you home?" I try to keep my voice steady, but it trembles with emotion.
No answer. My stomach twists into knots. I can't bear the thought of her being gone, not after everything that's happened.
"Y/N?" I call out again, my voice cracking.
Silence.
My knees give way beneath me, and I sink to the ground, my back against the door. A sob escapes my lips, and soon I'm crying uncontrollably, my body wracked with pain.
I'm a failure of a woman, I tell myself. I couldn't protect my own daughter. I couldn't even give her a happy home. The guilt and shame crush me, and I feel like I'm drowning in despair.
But then I remember the message on my phone, the one that brought a flicker of hope amidst the darkness. I open it once again, reading the words over and over:
You:
I'm sorry Y/N, please come back... He didn't mean it.
18:23
read
Please come back, don't leave us, don't leave me...
18:24
read
Baba
18:24
read
I've decided to come home, he went to the pub to cool off,
please if you really insist on leaving take this, its a plane
ticket for tonight it leaves at midnight, its an 8 hour flight,
and with this you would be able to take a long Holly, please
baby girl, stay safe. Mother loves you.
18:34
read
My Baba:
I love you mother. xoxo
19:03
I take a deep breath and steel myself for what's to come. Slowly, I push open the door to her room open. The sight of it is jarring - her belongings are gone, leaving the room feeling empty and barren. Even the familiar scent of her perfume seems to have been wiped away. It's as if she was never even here.
But my eyes catch something, her favorite t-shirt, crumpled up on the floor. I walk over and pick it up, holding it close to my face. I inhale deeply, taking in her familiar scent - a mix of lavender and vanilla. It's comforting and heartbreaking all at once.
I sit down on the edge of her bed, feeling a lump form in my throat. As I hold onto her t-shirt, I imagine her arms around me, comforting me as she always did. It's bittersweet to feel so close to her, yet so far away. I cling to the shirt like it's the only piece of her left in the world.
Eventually, I lay down on her bed, the t-shirt still clutched in my hands. The empty room feels suffocating, but the scent of her brings a sense of comfort. It's as if she's still here with me, watching over me. As I close my eyes, I allow myself to drift off into a fitful sleep, holding onto the only thing I have left of her.
Y/N POV:
Earlier:
With a heavy heart, I switch off my phone, knowing that it's time to leave. I take a deep breath and print out the ticket that my mom had sent me. As I pack a few essentials and gather Holly's carrier, I can't help but feel a pang of sadness in my chest. Leaving home is never easy, especially when it feels like you're leaving a part of yourself behind.
After taking some cash from the family vault, I hail a cab and make my way to the airport. During the ride, I stare out the window lost in thought, feeling the weight of the situation. Suddenly, we drive past another cab, and my heart skips a beat as I realize that it's the one my mom is in. The realization hits me hard, and I feel a lump form in my throat.
Tears well up in my eyes as I struggle to keep them at bay. "Mom," I whisper to myself, feeling a deep sense of longing. The cab quickly passes by, and I'm left with the fleeting memory of my mother's presence. I take a deep breath and try to shake off the sadness, reminding myself of the reason why I'm leaving.
As we arrive at the airport, I check my bags and make my way to the gate. I take a seat and wait for my flight, letting my mind wander back to memories of home. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, feeling a mix of emotions. Sadness, longing, but also a sense of excitement and anticipation for what lies ahead. It's not easy leaving home, but sometimes it's necessary to grow and move forward.
As I board the plane with Holly in tow, I remind myself that this is just the beginning of a new chapter in my life.
***
With a heavy heart, I walked through the airport with Holly in tow, feeling lost and alone. The bustling crowd of travelers only made me feel more isolated. I looked down at my watch and realized I still had an hour and a half before my flight. It was just enough time to grab some clothes for the journey ahead. I made my way to the nearest shops, my eyes scanning the displays for something that caught my attention.
I found myself drawn to a beautiful pair of light blue jeans, the fabric soft and comfortable to the touch. I grabbed them, along with a cozy white sweater, and a pair of boots that I knew would be perfect for walking around the city. As I paid for my purchases, I couldn't help but feel like I was running away from everything.
With my new clothes and Holly by my side, I made my way to the check-in counter. The airport staff weighed my luggage and took the heaviest bag, leaving me with only what I could carry. As I walked away, I felt a pang of sadness at the thought of leaving my old life behind. But I knew that I had to keep moving forward, no matter how hard it was.
***
The sound of the plane's engine roars in my ear, as I board the plane. I glance one last time at the bustling airport before making my way to my seat. It's time to leave Europe behind, but it's not just the continent I'm leaving, it's also my friend Allison, and most heartbreakingly, my mom.
As I settle into my seat, I pull out Holly's carrier and put it beside me. She's my only source of comfort and companionship at the moment. The flight attendant begins their safety presentation, and I try my best to pay attention.
As the plane takes off, my palms start to sweat, and my heart races. I hate flying, it always feels like a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I try to calm myself down and focus on Holly. She seems unfazed by the turbulence, and I'm grateful for her presence.
After a while, the flight attendant comes by to offer us food and drinks. I decline, but Holly eagerly eats the food I brought for her. I pull out my phone to distract myself, scrolling through social media, but I can't seem to shake off the feeling of loneliness.
As the sun begins to set outside, my eyes grow heavy, and I doze off. The hum of the engine fades away, and my mind drifts to my mom. I wonder what she's doing right now, how she's feeling. I miss her more than anything.
A/N I'm so sorry for this deep and dark beginning, but I loved it tho, the switch to the mother's Pov really showed us how broken she is... And honestly that father of hers, he's such a jerk, maybe I give him a redemption arc, maybe... I dunno tho, anyways this is released on New Year, honestly, my resolution is to write this, and complete it... Have a wonderful 2022. xoxo
Updated A/N:
It's been more than a year since I published it and honestly I'm really pleased with it... Have fun reading!