This chapter is when things really start to slowly and not so slowly fall through the cracks so I hope you're ready. And uh, it's only like half not part of me wanting one of my friends to see the gc and assue me and our other friend that they're not dead. So yeah.
I hope everyone's year was pleasant and I hope that 2022 is at least average in all the best ways. Without further ado, here's the newest chapter to end 2021 with a bang.
Trigger warnings: Description of blood, death, panic, grief, fighting, weapons, injuries, anger/hate
Trigger warning: Blood, death, panic, grief, injuries
A sticky substance coated her hand and dripped slowly onto the floor. Her back was curled at an unnatural angle as she slumped against the wall. Her head hurt and her mind spun in dark circles as she tried to remember what happened to her. Everest couldn't remember anything after she left Alec in order to find Clary and Izzy. It was just a black hole of emptiness. And not the one that had slowly faded over the years—the one that had blocked off her memories of the ShadowWorld. It was one much more sinister and twisted, one she had no explanation for.
"Everest?"
Everest looked up from her crimson coated hand to see Clary rushing towards her, her red hair flying about her like a halo.
Her breaths were shuddering gasps as she spoke. "What did I do?"
All around her, blood dripped and stained the wood floors. Clary's bright green eyes were wide and glassy as she slowly followed the trail of blood. Everest slowly stood up, using the wall to support herself and followed Clary. Her heart thudded angrily in her chest as she tried not to cry.
No. No. NO. It wasn't real. It was just a nightmare. She didn't do that. She could never. No. She would never kill her own mom.
But there, lying on the floor of a spare room was her mother with her heart ripped out of her chest and very much dead.
Clary slid to the ground, crying and unable to look away from their mom's corpse. Everest whimpered and hit the ground too.
"Mom," she gasped, and the hand that wasn't covered in blood gripped the upper arm of the hand that was covered in blood tightly.
Hot tears fell down her face and all she could do was stare at her mom's corpse like a forgotten doll in a child's closet waiting for someone to walk by and notice her.
She didn't know how long she and Clary were there, crying and staring, but eventually they both stood and left the room. Everest wasn't quite sure how they got to Clary's room, but she did know that Clary had obtained a tablet at some point and had helped her wash off the blood that was quickly drying onto Everest's hand. Not a word was said during that time.
"Clary?" Everest said, and she hated how small and weak her voice was. Clary hummed. "I'm sorry. I hate this. I don't know why this happened or how. She was my mom too. I love her. I don't know why this happened."
Clary's face was full of sorrowful rage, rage that Everest had seen destroy people and things alike numerous times, and all she could think was that she deserved her sister's rage. She had killed their mom and she deserved that rage.
"Just watch the footage," was all Clary said before pressing play.
They watched in silence as Everest attacked their mom, viciously punching a hole into her chest and not stopping until she was dead on the ground. They watched as the Everest in the footage looked at her hand and then up at the camera, her jade eyes entirely black.
"Clary, I—oh my God," Everest gasped, hands gripping her upper arms in a death grip.
Clary held up a hand, lips pursed and face set. Everest's heart skipped a beat. She knew that look. Clary blamed her, possibly hated her. Granted, Everest blamed herself too and didn't blame Clary for blaming her. But that didn't make the look of hatred any less painful.
"I have a demon to kill," her sister snarled and stalked off, Everest a few paces behind her.
Trigger warning over
...
Trigger warning: injury, fighting, weapons, mentions of death, anger, hate
"What happened?" Alec demanded, seeing the tear streaked faces of the twins. He fell into step with them as they entered the training room.
"Our mother is dead," Clary spat. "The demon possessed Everest and now she's dead."
Alec inhaled sharply and Everest determinedly avoided looking in Alec's direction. She wasn't sure she could handle two people hating her at once.
The sound of click-clacking high heels echoed in the room and Everest looked up to see Izzy walking towards them, expression full of angry disgust. Did she know what Everest did?
"Izzy!" Alec called out. "We need your help. Jocelyn's—"
"Dead," Izzy cut him off. "All because you couldn't watch out for your girlfriend."
Izzy lunged at Alec, but he dodged. Shit. She was possessed.
"It's inside her," Clary said.
"It's still Izzy. Careful where you aim."
Alec knocked an arrow and Everest grabbed a seraph blade from the wall, but Clary wasn't fast enough. Izzy threw her aside like a ragdoll and growled. She ran at Everest, who tried to dodge, but Izzy kicked the blade away from her and she was thrown into a table.
Izzy disarmed Alec with some sort of freaky contortionist twist, but Alec managed to grab her.
"Izzy, please! Stop!"
Everest scrambled to her feet as Izzy tore herself out of her brother's grip and knocked him to the ground. Izzy leaned over him like the dinosaur from Jurassic Park.
"Always the favorite child. I'm done living in your shadow," she spat, stroking his cheek in a condescending way.
"Izzy, if you're in there, please listen to me," Alec begged.
From Everest's angle, Izzy's smile was creepier than it had any right to be. It stretched slowly over her face and her eyes gained a sadistic gleam. "Nice try."
In her peripheral vision, she saw Clary hold out her hand to Everest, indicating she needed a weapon tossed to her since she was in the one area of the room without weapons nearby. Everest tossed the blade, hoping all the years she spent playing dodgeball would help. It did. Clary caught the blade easily and ran towards Izzy and Alec. Everest crossed her fingers.
'This had better work,' she thought.
Just as Izzy was about to start the agonizing process of ripping her brother's heart out, Clary stabbed her in the shoulder. Izzy grabbed Clary's arm and tried to fight her off, but Clary was stronger than any of the Shadowhunters knew. (Years of football with the guys at school, carrying boxes of art supplies around, moving furniture, and helping their mom in the antique shop had given both of them an edge in the strength department, but especially Clary.)
Clary ripped the blade out of Izzy's shoulder and the dark haired girl began to compulse viciously. A swirling mass of black and grey left the wound in Izzy's shoulder and Everest feared that it would possess Clary next. Izzy dropped to the ground and Everest unsheathed her gun now that she wouldn't have to shoot Izzy.
Clary met Everest's eyes and nodded.
"Go back to Hell where you belong," Clary snarled, and with a bang, a scream, and the sound of a seraph blade lighting up, the demon was gone.
Trigger warning over
Trigger warning: hate, anger
Clary, Everest, and Alec all scrambled towards Izzy with frantic expressions.
"Izzy? Izzy, are you alright?" Clary demanded.
"Izzy! Izzy, please be okay," Alec said, rolling Izzy onto her side.
"You're not allowed to die on me Dusk," Everest hissed, placing her hand on her sister figure's face and moving her necklace so that it wouldn't choke her.
Izzy gasped in the least dramatic way possible. "What happened?" she whispered and Alec helped her sit up so that he could hug her.
Alec buried his face in Izzy's hair, Clary stood up, and Everest scooted a few paces away. Everest looked up at her sister and saw the bitterness lacing itself amongst freckles like a spider web of hate. Shit. She was upset that Alec got to live when their mom didn't. Everest exhaled slowly and tried to piece the pieces of her sister's brain together even just a little bit.
Her sister was angry, Everest was angry too, and that was okay. But Everest wasn't okay with Clary taking that anger out on Alec and Izzy when Everest was the one that killed their mom. Alec and Izzy had nothing to do with it. Everest was the one who went off on her own, the one who killed her. Not Alec and Izzy. She could deal with Clary hating her, but Alec and Izzy didn't deserve that hate.
As Alec activated Izzy's Iratze, Clary's expression became more and more bitter, and Everest scooted further away from everyone, two sets of footsteps entered the training room. Everest looked up. It was Jace and a man Everest vaguely recognized as Aldertree. Then a third figure entered. It was Simon running towards Clary. Everest couldn't help but feel bitter as Aldertree walked away. Clary was comforted by Simon, and Jace went to Alec and Izzy.
It made sense, it did. Jace was closer with Alec and Izzy, and Izzy was hurt badly, and Simon and Clary were closer than Simon and Everest were. But still, it would be nice to have someone comfort and go to her first for once.
Everest's view of the training room was half hidden by her shaking hands, but she saw Jace and Alec leave with Izzy, probably to take her to the Infirmary. She waited until they had been gone for a few minutes before leaving too. She couldn't take it anymore, couldn't take Clary's hurt anger, Izzy's confused pain, Alec's regret, or Simon and Jace's pity. She couldn't take it anymore. So she did what she did best in bad situations: she left.
...
Trigger warning: Grief, anger, mentions of death and hate
Smack. Smack. Smack.
Over and over again Everest threw pebbles onto nearby rooftops, each time angrier than the last. The repetitive motion was soothing, knowing what sound the pebbles would make when they hit stone or cement was soothing. It was a way to release pent up anger and guilt and frustration without having to actually talk about it or be around other people. This was one of the few times that she couldn't just shove everything into the box of negativities in the back of her mind and hope for the best.
"Everest."
Everest turned, pebble poised and ready to be thrown, only to face Jace. His solemn expression held no anger or bitterness, only sadness.
"Move," she said, voice calm and even. It took more effort than she liked to admit for her voice to be that way.
"How long have you been up here?" Jace's words were soft and laced with sadness.
"I'm glamoured, no one can see me," Everest said, words quicker and starting to lose their calmness. "Now move."
Jace shook his head but did not move otherwise. "You can't beat yourself up."
"I'm not," Everest insisted. Her arm was still back and ready to throw the pebble. It shook slightly.
Jace gave her a disbelieving look. "Who are you talking to? It's me. I'm your brother. I know what it's like. I know how it feels to lose a parent, I know how it feels to be filled with that guilt because of what's inside your head. What happened with Jocelyn, that wasn't you. That was the demon." Jace's voice rose with urgency and insistence as he spoke.
"Get out of the way," Everest cried, words no longer calm and instead wavering with emotion.
Jace put his hands up as if to say 'I surrender'. "Hey, same side, remember?" Everest's arm dropped to her side, still shaking, and the pebble hit the roof with a dull smack. "Come on, Purple. Come back inside."
She shook her head, then tilted her gaze up to the sky. She couldn't even see the moon with all the lights. "That's the last place I wanna be."
She started to walk further away from Jace but he just followed her.
"Everest, Valentine has the Soul Sword. He slaughtered the Silent Brothers. We need all hands on deck."
"Stop pretending this never happened!" she cried, whirling suddenly. "I couldn't stop you from being hurt when we were on the ship or stop you from getting blamed for Gretel's death. I couldn't stop Alec and Izzy from getting hurt. I couldn't stop Clary from almost losing both of us time and time again. I killed my mom. Our mom. Clary's mom."
"No one blames you, Everest," Jace told her, though now his voice wavered slightly.
"Clary does!" she yelled. "You should. Everyone should. I killed Jocelyn Fairchild. I killed our mother! And I don't even know why!"
"It was the demon," Jace insisted again.
Everest turned away from Jace and traced the Agility and Sure-footedness runes on her arm that Izzy had drawn just before the mission where the demon that had caused so many problems was first met. "That's the thing Jace. The demon, it fed on emotions already there. There had to have been something in me that made it latch onto me. Something in me that wanted to hurt Mom. So yeah, I am to blame."
With that, Everest lept from the roof.
She hit the ground with a thud and just kept running. She ran until she reached the street the Karters lived on. She walked up the steps and nearly knocked but then she saw them laughing and happily playing a board game. She turned around silently. She didn't want to disturb them. She didn't want to disturb their happiness just because she had killed her mom. She didn't even know what she would say. She couldn't explain what happened, not really. They didn't know anything about the world she had been shot into. She couldn't explain that she had been possessed by a demon and then killed her own mom. She couldn't even properly explain the runes on her, how was she supposed to explain that?
She left the neighborhood, no longer running. She walked slowly through the streets of New York until she reached Magnus's apartment. She hadn't realized how close his apartment was to the Karters' house. She climbed up the fire escape of one of the nearby buildings and then jumped onto the one attached to Magnus's building. She climbed up and up and up until she reached Magnus's balcony.
She leaned against the railing, watching the city go past, ever busy and ever changing. It didn't care what she had done, it didn't care that demons ran rampant amongst its inhabitants. It didn't care. It was comforting.
She looked up when she heard footsteps approach. It was Magnus, and just past him was Alec leaning against the door frame.
"You okay?" Magnus asked gently, but not like she was going to break. He spoke gently, as if he didn't want to add more emotion to her already full bucket.
"I can't be in that Institute," she said simply. She knew her voice and gaze were vacant and dead, but she couldn't bring herself to force emotions she wasn't feeling. "I can't deal with Clary's hatred."
"Oh, Everest..."
"Heard you turned Camille in. How'd that go?" She glanced up at Magnus's face for the first time and saw that it held no pity or anger, only sadness for her rather than for what she did.
"Honestly? It was awful. We had a lot of history, she and I." His face contorted in an expression Everest couldn't read. "I'm sorry if that's weird."
"It's not weird. You say what you think. It's nice." She glanced in the direction of a park where she used to go stargazing with someone she once loved—still loved if she was being honest. "You're not the only one with past partners and history so why would it be weird?"
"One of these days, I think I'd like to learn what you were like dating in high school." Magnus's small smile fell when he saw her wince at her hands that were cut up from viciously throwing rocks. "Too busy to use a healing rune?"
She shook her head. "I'm fine."
"No you're not. You're hurting. Badly." He pointed to her hands. "You're hoping that the pain here will distract you from the pain there." He pointed to his heart. "I wish it were that simple. But it's not."
"I let a demon in, Magnus."
"That wasn't your fault."
"I don't know what to say to Clary. She hates me." Everest scoffed. Magnus's eyes shone. "I killed her, Magnus, I killed my mom. I can't face her."
Trigger warning over
"But you will," Magnus said firmly. "Because that's what you do, Everest. It may take a minute, but I've seen it up close. I was there when you were ten and almost lost everyone because of a stupid mistake. You will burn everything, even yourself, to make things right."
Everest looked up at him and she could feel the tears in her eyes. She nodded slowly and straightened up. "Okay," she said quietly. She took a deep breath. "Okay."
"Come inside," Magnus told her softly. "I have Skittles, cuddles, and an Alec."
This time, when asked to come inside, she accepted. Despite the sheer terror that burned at her ribs, she accepted. She didn't want Alec to hate her, didn't want him to think any less of her. She was terrified that that would happen.
Everest met his gaze and was immediately pulled into his arms. She leaned her head on his chest and took shuddering breaths to calm herself. She didn't have to be scared. He didn't hate her.
"You're here now, Darling. You don't have to be afraid. It's just us three."
Had Everest not been so freaked out over the last few hours, she probably would have fainted upon Alec calling her 'Darling'. She leaned her head back so she could see him.
"Darling?"
He just smiled. "Yeah, Darling. I thought I'd try giving nicknames a go."
"Cute," she muttered, and then she was pulled onto the couch and sandwiched between two of her favorite people with a packet of Skittles, a very soft blanket, and music playing in the background.
Everything about that moment there, with the three of them cuddled up on the couch and just existing together, helped soothe the pain of her mom's death and Clary's anger.
'Holy shit I love these two,' she thought with a smile.
It took everything in her to not freeze and show any outward panic. However, inside, her brain started to once more go a million miles an hour.
She fell hard and fast for people, Everest knew this. She fell for Melody Taylor around the time that they had been dating for just under two years. She had fallen for Seraphina Markus after eleven months or so. She had fallen for her most recent partner, Amir, scarily fast: six months. She fell hard and fast when she met someone she truly cared for romantically, but she had never fallen for someone in less than three months. For her to have fallen for two people so quickly was a terrifying thought. It was a different kind of terrifying than having someone hate her, different to fighting someone or something. It was a kind of terrifying that could and had burned her before, one that had the potential to ruin her completely and utterly. It was a kind of terrifying she couldn't talk about and expect others to have the answers for.
It was a kind of terrifying that required her to truly think and feel and know herself well enough to know if she was ready for it. She had to know herself well enough to know if she was ready for the potential pain that it could bring. And even scarier, if she was ready for all the potential happiness it could bring.
Edit: I forgot to post this earlier, but I made a *fixed* version of the Distractions Season 1 trivia if you would like to see how you do
Here's the link:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfPRejo2V0SAGnou_Oid1dg59VaCXc2wh_Z-IA9UXSigU2_pw/viewform?usp=sf_link