"What?" he asked.
Both their cheeks were turning pink and Mac didn't want to repeat himself, he knew that Dennis heard him correctly. Why else would he be so flustered? They both stared at each other expectantly until Dennis finally broke the silence with a voice as flustered as his rosy face.
"We're together Mac,"
"Oh, okay. Just making sure," he replied equally as awkwardly.
Dennis couldn't remember the last time he felt like this. He had become so jaded as his time on earth went on that he had forgotten what it was like to be in love. Maybe, he had never actually been in love. It was so terrifying, how a simple look or words from Mac could affect him in such an intoxicating way.
But it was exciting, thrilling. Dennis was feeling again, it felt like he was feeling for the first time in his life. It was like wandering uncharted territory. There were so many questions going through his mind. Just how exactly would they make this work? Therapy and counseling and all that other stuff can only get them so far.
"We should probably head down to the bar,"
"Yeah," Dennis mumbled.
They both felt a slight fear. Dee already knew but even that was scary. Neither of them could imagine how Frank and Charlie would react or how this new development the entire dynamic of the gang. Then again it's not like the gang had a good dynamic going on either way.
Things genuinely can't get worse. So they both clung to the idea that things could only get better from here even if it was awkward at first. They needed to grow and that comes with growing pains.
The drive there was the same as usual, it was Mac's day to choose the music and he warbled the tunes he played. Dennis never cared much for his singing, it was usually shaky and pitchy but he saw it in a different light. Singing in front of people is not the easiest thing in the world and it was endearing that Mac always sang in front of him.
Frank and Charlie were already running around the bar when they arrived. Moving tables into the middle with two stools on the other side.
"Mac! Help us move these tables," Charlie exclaimed.
Mac obliged and started moving the tables where Charlie directed him. They had no idea what they were up to but they were quick to join in on whatever scheme was afoot.
"And Dennis we need you to do us a huge favor," Charlie said.
"What are you guys even doing?" he asked.
"We're gonna have speed datin'"
"Again?" Mac asked.
"We did group dating last time, speed dating is totally different. Plus Frank has this plan to get some lady to come and woo her during the speed date," Charlie explained their plan, "And we need you to be one of the of our speed daters we don't have enough guys signed up," he said gesturing at Dennis.
Mac looked at Dennis waiting for his answer.
"No Charlie I don't want to,"
"Why not?" Frank asked "You don't have to be into the ladies but it will be an easy lay if they like you," he continued trying to persuade him.
"I don't want to,"
"Why?" Charlie asked again "You don't have to date them in real life we just need you to play along. It's not like you have anyone anyways. Maybe you'll find someone,"
Dennis and Mac stood stiffly as they looked at each other with cheeks that were getting rosier and rosier by the second. Frank and Charlie stared at Dennis expecting him to finally give in, they didn't seem to notice the awkwardness in the air.
Dee walked in through the door and stared at them all and the random tables and chairs littered in the empty area of the front of the bar. She wasn't phased at all and sat upon one of the stools. They didn't even seem to notice her and continued with their discussion.
"Charlie, I don't need to find someone. I'm not doing it,"
"Come on man, we need someone for this, you'd be doing us a solid,"
"What do you want him to do?" Dee asked.
"I want him to be one of our speed daters tonight, he won't do it," Charlie whined.
Dee held back a smile.
"Why uh, why won't you do it, Dennis? It sounds like a lot of fun?" she asked trying to hold back the sarcasm in her voice.
"I just don't want to,"
"But I mean, there has to be a reason," she egged her brother on.
"If he doesn't want to do it he doesn't have to do it," Mac defended him and placed an arm around him.
Dennis almost wanted to pull away from the embrace out of habit but he didn't and wrapped his own arm around Mac. Frank and Charlie rolled their eyes, annoyed at the duo's overprotectiveness of each other.
"Great! Now we have to find another guy in less than thirty minutes," Charlie huffed.
"We could ask Cricket or Pondy," Frank suggested.
"Cricket won't talk to me anymore, and Bill is already a participant," Charlie replied with another huff as he and Frank walked into the back office to try and make some calls.
Mac noticed Charlie's frustration.
"Maybe you should do it," he whispered into Dennis' ear.
"What?" he whispered back with furrowed brows.
Was Mac already trying to get rid of him?
"Dude, he said you don't have to date them, right? So just play along for the speed date," Mac suggested.
Mac wasn't too keen on Dennis going on dates, even if they were stupid fake speed dates but he could tell Charlie was getting frustrated. Dennis would only be doing him a favor.
"Mac no," he replied.
"Please," he asked softly with looking at him with big puppy dog eyes that Dennis couldn't say no to.
Fucking hell Ronald Mcdonald had him wrapped around his finger.
"Fine, but I'm only doing this as a favor,"
"Thank you," Mac smiled and placed a kiss on his cheek.
"I saw that!" Dee exclaimed as she poured herself a drink.
"Who cares if you saw it?" Dennis replied.
"Why didn't you guys tell Charlie and Frank?"
They both shuffled awkwardly. They didn't want to be subjected to the ridicule that Frank and Charlie would put them through.
"We will soon. It's just, we know they'll just give us shit for it," Mac replied.
"Mhm. So no speed dating for either of you?" she asked with a smile.
"Well, I'm doing it," Dennis replied.
"What?!" she asked "Are you guys not together then?"
"We are," Mac replied "But Dennis is just gonna play along as a favor for Charlie,"
"Wait so you'll do it?!" Charlie asked.
"Yeah I'll do it, "Dennis replied nonchalantly before realization took over his face and his eyes widened.
"How much of that did you hear?" Dee, Dennis, and Mac all asked at the same time.
"All of it," Frank replied.
Dennis and Mac looked at each other with nervous wide eyes and then back to the others. Their reactions were not what the pair expected. They seemed chill about this new revelation.
"Oh," Mac mumbled "So uh,"
"So you'll do the speed dating? The contestants should be here any minute," Charlie asked to confirm.
"Yeah dude, I'll do you stupid speed dating bullshit,"
"I'm just making sure, don't get mad at me dude,"
"I'm not mad, it's just. Are you sure you heard all of it?" he asked.
"Yeah man, we heard," Charlie rolled his eyes.
"And you don't have any thoughts on it? Any comments?" Mac asked.
"You said you didn't want us to give you shit for it so we're not gonna give you shit for it. It's not like it's that shocking anyways. We always knew you guys had something for each other,"
"We even had a bet, so Charlie you owe me twenty bucks," Frank said with a laugh.
"What do you mean you always knew? And you had a bet on it?" Dennis asked.
"It was so obvious dude. You guys have lived together for years,"
"So have you and Frank!" Dennis retorted.
"Yeah but Frank and I are different," Charlie replied.
"You share the same bed!"
"So what?" Frank asked "We don't check in on each other every half an hour like you two, we don't drive to work together every day,"
"You don't drive together to work anymore because neither of you drives anymore! And you live like two minutes away from the bar," Dennis continued to argue.
"Do you want us to give you shit for it or not?" Charlie asked "Honestly dude we don't care, we're happy for you guys,"
They felt relief. Even if Charlie and Frank had been assholes about it nothing would have changed but it was still nice to hear them be so accepting. Dennis thought about what they had said about how it was soo obvious that he and Mac would get together.
Then he thought about how Tim Murphy's wife thought he was gay at the high school reunion. It wasn't the first time someone assumed he was gay. The frat guys called him faggot one too many times but he wasn't even gay. Sort of. He wasn't even sure why Frank and Charlie "already knowing" made him so mad. Maybe, because he tried to deny it and hide it for so long that it's infuriating to realize everyone around you already knew and didn't even care.
People began to show up for the 'event' and were led to their tables by Charlie. Frank was wearing a suit and tie, and his best toupee for the occasion.
"Where's the lucky lady?" Charlie whispered to Frank.
"She's not here yet," he mumbled and looked at the door as it swung open "Wait, that's her," Frank pointed.
The gangs' eyes followed where Frank directed them. The woman walking through the door was very familiar, too familiar. Her short hair was styled and she wore very simple makeup. The gang all collectively raised eyebrows at Frank and looked to see Charlie's reaction.
"Frank!" he whisper shouted "That's my fucking mom!" he said raising his voice.
"Shh," the almost octogenarian mumbled to him "Just get the speed datin' started,"
"No man! I'm not gonna set you up with my mom! This speed dating is canceled!"
It was far too late to cancel the event unless they wanted a bunch of angry attendees storming the bar. Charlie got everyone seated and got the rounds started. The crowd was a strange mix, old people, and people who were far too young for the old ones. Bill Ponderosa was making a twenty-year-old very uncomfortable while Charlie's mom was hitting it off with a twenty-five-year-old and completely ignoring Frank during their round.
Dennis made small talk with the contestants, his eyes would always wander to Mac who sat at the corner of the bar with Dee. He just wanted to ditch this mess and go home so he could spend time with him. Charlie didn't seem to understand how to work his timer and instead of the pairs getting a minute to chat they got ten. During one of the short breaks, Mac walked over and whispered in Dennis' ear.
"I'm gonna go home,"
"What? No, you can't go,"
"I'm bored here and this looks like it's gonna take a while,"
"I'm bored too,"
"Yeah but you can't leave," Mac teased.
"Fine, I'll see you at home," he huffed.
"Don't be mad at me Den," he replied as he was about to lean in for a kiss.
"Dude! You can't kiss me," he whispered.
Mac swung his head back and his cheeks turned pink. Thankfully none of the women were looking in their direction. He gave Dennis a smile and a squeeze on the shoulder. His roommate returned the smile.
The evening went on so slowly. Towards the end, Dennis wasn't even trying to hide his annoyance and disinterest.
"Okay dude, what's your deal?" the young woman in front of him asked.
"What's my deal? I don't have a deal," he huffed.
"You clearly don't want to be here,"
"I don't," he replied.
The girl rolled her eyes. Despite being at least fifteen years older than her he was a good-looking guy. It's just the attitude that was his Achilles heel.
"Well, then why are you here?" she snapped.
"I'm doing a favor for a friend," he replied as the timer rang and he bid her good riddance.
Finally, the game fizzled out and there were no other women left. So Dennis rushed out the door and to his car so he could get home.
"What are you doing?" he asked as he entered the apartment to see Mac moving about in the kitchen.
Dirty pots and dishes were strewn about with one of the pots on the stove releasing heaps of smoke and a strange smell into the air. Dennis' brows furrowed at the mess in front of him.
"I uh, I was trying to make dinner for you,"
"Oh god, it smells awful in here," Dennis replied and quickly turned off the heat on the burning pot, The smoke detector began to beep and his irritation grew "Mac, you know you can't cook," he huffed as he fanned the annoying apparatus.
"I know, I was just trying to do something nice for you," he replied softly as he reached up to take the smoke detector off the wall and pull the batteries out.
"Yeah Mac, this is real nice," he replied as he rolled his eyes.
"Come on dude. Don't be mean,"
"I'm not being mean!"
Mac rubbed his temples as he prepared himself for another one of Dennis' meltdowns. Even after all these years, it seemed like Mac never figured out how to deescalate these kinds of situations. His roommate would lose his cool, leave, and then come back a while later and pretend everything was fine but they couldn't do that anymore.
"Yes, you are. You're being very rude to me," he replied as calmly as possible his voice rising in pitch but not in volume.
Dennis took a few deep breaths realizing that he couldn't act like this anymore. Mac would get sick of it one day and walk right out the front door. He had almost lost him once and that couldn't happen again.
"I know," he mumbled and swallowed his pride "I just don't know what else to do Mac,"
"Maybe, don't be mean to me,"
"Easier said than done," he snapped.
Mac looked over at him with his big eyes looking as hurt as ever.
Shit. Stop. Being. An. Asshole. Jesus Christ.
"I really don't know what to do Mac," he replied feeling defeated.
"I just, I feel like you don't appreciate me Den. I was trying to do something nice for you,"
Dennis wanted to yell.
"You could have burned down our apartment! Again! For a second time! Normal people don't go around burning apartments!"
But he didn't, instead, he sighed and took another deep inhale to quell his anger. If this were before he would simply snap, yell at Mac, berate him, then act like it never happened but he couldn't do that anymore, he needed to be better, but is it possible to be good when no one ever taught you how?
He thought about his mother and Frank. Even if he wasn't his biological father he was still the man who raised him. The man who always saw something bad in him before Dennis even had a chance to discover who he really was.
"Children you are so terrible!" his father chastised from the driver's seat.
The twins sat quietly in the backseat with their heads leaned against the windows. With bruises forming on their arms where they had hit each other with small clenched fists.
Dennis pouted and held his body as close to the door as he could, he wanted to be as far away from his sister as he possibly could.
It wasn't fair!
Dee had started it!
She was egging Dennis on in front of the other children there at that stupid dinner party. Then when he decided to defend himself he used the only word he could think of that would make her angry.
"Dee you're a bitch," his squeaky voice snapped.
He didn't really know what it meant, neither did Dee but they knew it was bad. Their dad would call their mother this word under his breath or when she wasn't around. The only time Frank had ever called her this to her face she slapped him so hard his cheek was red for days.
"No I'm not!" the little girl snapped back to her brother.
She thought about how her mother had hit her father and how he never called her that word again so she clenched her fist and swung it at her brother. She swung at him as the other kids in the room watched with shock at the two kids wrestle with each other.
This wasn't that weird right? She thought.
Siblings fight all the time.
Dee was sure that all these kids had also fought with their siblings before but she wasn't sure if this was how most eight-year-olds fought. They weren't calling each other silly names like 'poopybutt' they were using 'grownup' words, and modeling the behaviors of domestic abuse that they had seen because kids' brains are like sponges that absorb and release everything they've experienced.
Dennis' brows were furrowed his whole body was tense, he wasn't going to let his sister make him look like a pussy in front of all these people so he swung his own arms back at her. At the time he was a little taller, a little bigger, and his hits were harder, it didn't help that they held much more anger behind them than hers did.
"Get off!" she yelled loudly and backed away.
She wrapped herself in a hug and held her arms and looked at her brother with so much anger Dennis thought she might hit him again. They were both gonna stay quiet. They couldn't rat each other out because they were both at fault but by now two little brats had gone running to tell their mommy and daddy all that just happened.
"Dee and Dennis are saying no no words," they heard a girl snitch from the children's playroom they were in.
"Yeah! And they were hitting each other like this!" a boy continued as he punched the air to demonstrate.
Barbara pretended to act appalled.
Pretending that this behavior is unusual from Dennis and Deandra, that they would never do this but they've been having very stressful days with tutoring and tennis lessons.
She didn't actually know if they were having rough days, she wouldn't have cared anyway. Barbara just didn't want these little shits to make her look bad so she leaned over to Frank.
"Take them home," she hissed in his ear.
"What? No," he whispered back to her.
"Take them home, now. You can send the driver for me later," she demanded and the tone of her voice and the look in her eyes made Frank realize this was probably in his best interest.
He didn't want to be at this dinner anyways. With all these goddamned yuppies. So what the kids are fighting? When he was at Nam' he saw kids do a lot of worse shit and they turned out fine. At least he hoped they turned out fine. The guests and hosts stared at them expectantly.
I know! I get it! I'll take my disruptive kids home and everything will go to being peachy keen! You bunch of prissy prudes!
Maybe now Frank would say stuff like this out loud but for now, he kept it in his head. It wasn't smart to offend people who were in an even more elevated state of class than he was. The home he was standing in was worth at least two million more than his own. So he walked out quietly and obediently and got the kids in the car.
"You're just as bad as your mother!" he continued to chastise them.
This probably wasn't the way to talk to your children or the way to talk about their mother but Frank didn't know any better. This is how his father spoke to him, in hindsight his father was even worse. Frank and his brother Gino were subjected to constant cruelty from their parents and they turned out pretty alright, right?
Dennis cringed at those words.
You're just as bad as your mother.
I'm not bad.
Is mom bad?
He wasn't sure if his mom was bad. As any child would he wanted to jump to his mother's defense. After all, she was the woman who gave him life but for a second he thought maybe she was bad, terrible like his father always says.
As if the world wanted to prove to him that his mother was Barbara couldn't even be bothered to bring up the siblings' fight again.
When she came home late into the night she was so intoxicated she had completely forgotten about the events of that evening. Going to bed without bothering to check in on her sleeping children. They weren't asleep, they lay in bed waiting for her to come home. To run a gentle hand through their hair and ask them what was wrong.
Dennis never apologized to his sister for this but she never apologized for it either.
This wasn't ever the worse thing he had said to her. He never hit her again but some of the words he's said to her probably hurt just as much as the punches.
Dennis looked at Mac.
"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I don't want to be mean to you,"
Mac took the words in, he knew that this wasn't easy for Dennis. He almost said "it's okay" as a reply but then he thought about something he had heard a long time ago. That even if someone apologizes for something it will never make it 'okay' instead you should accept the apology and not be okay with the action itself.
"I accept your apology," he replied as firmly as possible.
"Thanks," Dennis replied pensively "Mac," he replied shakily.
"Yeah?"
"If you ever get tired of me and you want to leave me I wouldn't blame you,"
As vain as Dennis was he beheld such strong insecurities, it felt like proof of the duality of man. He believed himself to be superior, a God, but even narcissists have insecurities. He didn't want Mac to feel trapped or obligated to be with him. Even if it pained him to think about it Mac deserved better than him.
"What?" he asked "Dennis I'm not gonna leave you,"
"I'm not saying you are, but if you do I wouldn't blame you,"
"All I've wanted for years to be with you so it's gonna take a hell of a lot of shit to ever keep me away from you,"
The response made Dennis sigh in relief.
"You sure?" he asked.
"I'm sure," he replied.
His love and devotion for Dennis almost scared him. He would put up with anything just to be with him. As romantic as this was it wasn't healthy. They needed to set boundaries and to discuss how their relationship would be different from their friendship but Mac was too tired.
"I won't leave you as long as you help me clean up the mess I made," Mac joked in an attempt to lighten the mood with a small smile directed at his best friend, his boyfriend.
"I'll help you clean," Dennis replied getting close to him, "But don't make it a habit to boss me around okay baby boy?" he whispered in his ear.
"Yeah, okay," he replied shakily and Dennis smirked at his response before walking into the kitchen with Mac following behind him.