I ran and ran and ran. I had never gone so fast before— the crisp, winter air blew against my face, freezing it, and my feet, completely bare, felt no pain as they hit the cobblestone.
I ran until the stone roads turned to dirt paths, until the dirt paths turned to the forest undergrowth, until the forest undergrowth turned to the rocks on the shore... I almost felt free.
I stopped to catch my breath, and I dipped a toe into Gelgrim's freezing cold waters. I didn't have to answer to anyone now. I didn't have to waste my days working in that miserable cloth factory. I didn't have to worry about sickness. Or death. Or the workhouse.
I caught myself smiling for a moment, then stopped. I shouldn't feel good about this. I'm a horrible man. I go against God and Bhale and everything that's holy. My soul is doomed to Hell.
I sat right at the edge of the sea, feeling the cold mist brush up against my face. I'll never see Father again. All the heaven-bound brothers and sisters I barely got to meet, lost to smallpox and the measles and the like... We'll never be reunited.
Of course, that is unless I take my own life. Right now. Bhale would forgive me. I never intended to be this way. Bhale would understand.
I peered into the glistening, deep-black sea and looked at my reflection. I could see all the tiny, minute changes in my face. I considered it for a moment. Just throw myself in and wake up in Heaven. It's what a good man would do.
But I couldn't. No matter how much of an honorable man it would make me, I couldn't physically make the motion to jump off the rock I was on. I wanted to live.
The water began to ripple, and a friendly little head popped up. A little beluga whale had come to greet me. I cracked back into a smile. Was this not worth living for?
The beluga tilted its head and made a little noise. I reached out to pat it on the head. I could immediately feel its pulse. Robust and warm, exactly how a whale should be. I started wondering how much blood was in it. It was roughly a thousand pounds, surely there was plenty...
I placed my hand on its neck, and it whistled.
"Where are your parents, little one? You don't look very old."
I felt its pulse pounding through me like it was my own.
I felt a drop of saliva land on my neck, and I shook my head.
"Shit..."
I took my hand off of it.
"I really am a monster, aren't I."
The young whale, with its curiosity satisfied, swam off.
I lied down and groaned. I was hungry again. I denied it. I ate just an hour ago— The temptation of a whale-sized meal must've set me off. I closed my eyes, wiped the drool off my face, and tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I couldn't get the whale out of my head.
I woke up starved.