We slow-danced to the Frank Sinatra version of Fly Me to the Moon because we both really loved that song. After our first dance, I did a father-daughter dance with John. He was the only father-figure I'd ever had. I felt like I really owed it to him.
Once the dancing and intros were done, it was time to sit down for the toast. Hazel, not wanting to draw any extra attention to her pregnant self, was going to let Etsy do the toast. I asked my server to bring me an extra glass of champagne to get through it as Etsy started walking around with the microphone.
"Friends, family, MTV people, and any other random person I left out, we made it!" Etsy said. I took a sip of my champagne. "Harper and Lee. They have six plus three kids and they're on MTV. See what I did there? But let's go back a little bit: to when I first met Harper. For those of you who don't know, we've been besties since we were thirteen. Nine years ago. We're getting old. Send help.
"Anyway, I heard a rumor in our middle school after Harper got there about how she'd been kicked out of multiple foster homes. I thought nothing of it, until we were put in the same science lab and we got paired up. The rest is history, and so was the A I had in that class at the time.
"But when I met Lee, I was like 'how is someone this nerdy with someone as rebellious as her?' Opposites attract I guess. He takes two steps forward and he takes two steps back. At the time, he didn't like cigarettes but she liked to smoke. But they went together, because opposites attract.
"Long story short, we learned that they're not so opposite after all. They're actually perfect for each other. And before I sign off here, because there's two-hundred people here I gotta plug my Etsy shop, which is called 'Cute Thrifty Finds.' Again, that's 'Cute Thrifty Finds' on Etsy. I'm Etsy Dusseldorf, and thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. Goodnight, America!"
Etsy handed the microphone back to the DJ amidst a huge round of applause, which even turned into a standing ovation. She deserved it. It was a perfect Etsy speech.
After that one-of-a-kind speech, we got our salads and bread. After that, it was time for dinner. I didn't have much time to eat because there were so many people who wanted to talk to me and take pictures. I also had needy kids who wanted our attention.
Once dinner was done, it was time for the bouquet and garter toss. I tossed the bouquet to the few single girls we had, but I overdid it and it hit the wall, nearly taking out the bartender. Hazel and Etsy picked up the pieces of what was left of it. Lee chose not to do the garter toss because he had no single guys to toss it too, other than Blake. And there was no way my little brother was getting anywhere near anyone's legs.
We had some time to dance before doing the cake-cutting. Lee wanted to play a bunch of different songs that weren't super popular. I told him he could make the playlist with the DJ if I was doing everything else. MTV was going to edit over all the music for copyright purposes anyway.
The DJ directed us over to our multi-layer black and white cake, which was all chocolate inside. We cut two slices together and then, just like we agreed on, smashed them into each other's faces. Once we got cleaned up, we sat back down for dessert. Because we had so many people, we had black and white cupcakes and cookies too.
I personally liked the cookies better than the other stuff. We got them from a bakery on the other side of town. The kid I talked to on the phone with a British accent said they were the most popular cookies in the area, and now I could see why.
"You ready for the big announcement?" Lee asked.
"Yeah, let's do it," I said.
We got up and walked over to the DJ, who stopped the music and handed us the microphone. Everyone turned in our direction.
"Hi everyone. Thank you so much for coming tonight. Harper and I have a special announcement for all of you," Lee said.
"We aren't pregnant, but my sister Hazel is," I said. "For those of you who don't know, she's having a little girl!" Everyone clapped. "But due to certain circumstances, Hazel won't be keeping the baby."
"Harper and I talked it over, and even though we already have hectic lives, we know that if there's room in your heart for one more, there's room in your home for one more, too," Lee said.
"So our family is going from eleven to twelve! Our little girl will be coming home with us in early June!" I said.
I was totally shocked, because instead of gasps or even booing us for taking in a tenth kid, everyone cheered. Hazel ran up and hugged us.
"That was perfect. Thank you," she said.
"No, thank you for the perfect baby girl," Lee said, rubbing her baby bump.
"Let's hear it for Harper, Lee, and Hazel!" said the DJ.
The rest of the kids ran up to hug us. They already knew about this and every single one of them was excited for their baby sister to come home. Even Ella and Zozo, who had to share a room now. They thought it was a fair trade to get a new baby sister.
The DJ started playing music again, and we all ran out to the dance floor. Lee and I did our best to make sure each of our kids got a turn to dance with us.
"Hey, one more thing!" Hazel said.
"Yeah?" I yelled over the music.
"Have you guys picked out a name for her yet?" she asked.
"Uh-huh!"
"Well? Is it some kind of secret?"
"I'll tell you, but don't tell anyone else."
"I won't! Just spill it already!"
"We're naming her Brooke," I said.
"Brooke? That's nice! I like it! What made you guys choose the name Brooke?"
"It was Lee's idea," I said. "Because it sounds like the word 'book' apparently. You know how he loves to read."
"Of course. But why does he want a name that sounds like the word 'book'?" Hazel asked.
"Because," I said, "our life together has been so crazy, at this point it may as well just be a book!"
THE END!
***
-That's the end! Thanks for reading through this whole saga!
-Would you ever want to see a sequel? I've played with the idea of Harper having quadruplets and opening her own bird sanctuary once all the kids are in school.
-How did you like this book compared to my other books, like Surprisingly Perfect?