He looks so happy, full of joy. His eyes are lit up and his smile is wide, like I always remember seeing it. I lie on the bed, watching Nick in front of me dancing like an idiot, I soon became out of breath from dancing and pushed myself onto the bed to catch my breath, but Nick isn't easily tired like I am, and I don't think he'll let me lie down for much longer; he absolutely loves to dance, like he did when we went to clubs.
It feels like those nights when Nick and I would be dancing together, both of us completely smashed and singing at the top of our lungs and shaking the floor with the quite bad dancing we would be doing. I remember Nick would ask me if the songs were good to play at the Rum Runner, and I'd always say yes.
Although now it's different, because Nick isn't drunk, and neither am I, and it's just as good, because it's real, real emotions and real conversations, both sober.
I let out a small laugh when I hear an excited squeal escape his lips when Jean Genie starts to play, and he looks into my eyes, raising a brow at me.
"This is a tune, isn't it?"
He says, sounding slightly out of breath but as the song is loud and it feels like we're drowning in it, Nick stays dancing.
"It is, we love this one."
I reply, too caught up with watching Nick.
He looks so beautiful, every little thing about him is so perfect, and I can't help but sit back and admire him.
I watch him mouth the lyrics, knowing every word off by heart, and it makes me smile so much, my heart warms as I push myself into a sitting position, seeing Nick go to his record player and turn the music up.
"If the neighbours knock on the door you're going down to explain!"
I yell over the music, causing Nick to laugh loudly, the sound of his laughter is like a beautiful song I could listen to forever.
"Oh don't be daft, Andy!"
He exclaims back to me.
I watch him take off his jacket, my eyes wide as I admire him, his blouse adorns his small frame, his waist is small and feminine, his hands are soft and delicate, his hair is messy but in a pretty way; fucking hell, I'm really falling hard for him, aren't I?
He soon throws his jacket to me, making me jump as the smell of cologne surrounds me with his jacket on my face.
I soon hear the sound of the music becoming lower, which I didn't expect Nick to turn it down.
Once I take the jacket away from me, I gasp when I realise Nick is closer to me, putting his hands to my face, a wide smile on his face as he draws me in, and the ringing in my ears from the music seems to fade away in a moment when Nick's eyes are on mine.
He keeps his eyes on me, silence between us both, and I begin to smile, a look of confusion also on my face, he still hasn't spoke.
Before I realise what he's doing, I watch Nick lean closer, and I don't break our eyes contact like I usually would.
Excitement pushes me further forward, eyes slipping shut, and our mouths collide in quite an unexpected kiss.
Nick responds in an instant, moving his lips against mine, and I shiver all over, Nick's plump lips locked in my own. This kiss was quite a surprise, but a very pleasant one. I lift my hands to rest onto Nick's waist, needing him far closer.
We pull back for air, yet stay close enough to go back in for more. I tighten my grip and pull him closer, suddenly I feel the urge to to get my hands all over him, it's a very strange feeling that I have kept away for far too long.
This kiss feels new, it feels different. I can't describe the feeling I'm having towards this kiss, but he's kissing me like a lover, a real lover, someone he cares for, and it's the best feeling.
I gasp softly when Nick pushes my shoulders down, causing me to lie onto the bed with Nick on top of me, music blaring in the background, I feel all hot again.
Our lips brush, then meet once more. Nick tilts his head to give me better access. With that, I swipe my tongue across his bottom lip, he opens his mouth further, a high feeling washing over us both as we kiss passionately.
When we part once again, Nick stares at me with pupils blown wide, and I'm guessing I'm the same. He hasn't let me go, his hands pressed on my shoulders, holding me down as I grip his waist, but neither of us care enough to move.
"That was... Where did that come from?"
I say, trying to catch my breath, a small laugh escaping my lips.
"I don't know," I watch Nick's eyes travel to my lips again, "I do know that I enjoyed it. I wouldn't mind another go."
"Neither would I. Your kisses are quite addictive."
Nick chuckles, looking down. I don't always see him flustered and blushing like he is right now, it's good to see. I'm always the one getting flustered around him, Nick is the only one I can blame for that.
He takes me once again, and I find myself knowing just what to do to please him, knowing what takes a gasp from his lips, our lips growing very familiar with each other now.
There's a lot of attraction buried within us, waiting to be found, waiting to be shown between us both, and I want it all.
We break apart, and Nick sighs deeply with a small smile on his face, seemingly studying my face; I watch his eyes scan over me in concentration.
"You've gone all soft on me."
He whispers, and I suddenly grow nervous, noticing the way I'm holding him, hands on his waist like he'll disappear any second, my cheeks burning hot and my eyes looking up at him softly, and he's noticed it.
"I- What?"
I mumble, rubbing my neck slightly, also becoming a bit tense under him.
Nick lets out a soft laugh, taking my hand away from my neck and holding it instead.
"The first few times of kissing you were quite strange. I loved it, but you were so tense, as was I, yet you're bad at hiding it. Although, you're all soft now."
"Just beginning to not think about what we're actually doing, and just letting it happen."
I reply, and his features soften once more.
"It's still scary, I can't deny it. And maybe we're both too awkward to really describe what's going on."
I hold him tight, nodding in agreement to his words, because it's very true.
"Well, we've got time, and plenty of it."
I whisper, giving him a reassuring smile.
He then pushes himself off of the bed, leaving me slightly stunned and staying where I am before I push myself into a sitting position once again, looking to see what Nick is at.
I watch him take the record off record player, putting it back in its sleeve and onto the shelf that is full of an old collection, some of them being ones I have bought for him.
I then see the album Transformer being pulled from the top of the shelf, where all the old ones come from, and Nick gives me a small smirk before taking the record out of the sleeve.
I soon feel a warmth bubbling in my stomach, that album has always been Nick and I's favourite to listen to together; we often refer to it as 'our album' because of how much we both adored it. We both also liked knowing that when it came out, Nick being only ten years of age and me eleven, that we both would have been blown away by it, soon to listen to it together.
I watch his eyes focus as he sets the needle down onto the record, as he goes to put up the volume.
My heart skips a beat, the sound of that beautiful piano begins to play and I was waiting for it too. I'm being reminded of all the times it would come on and both of us would get slightly nervous, he would turn away and so would I, how strange that was.
Although it reminds me of that night, that night in the club where we were together, Nick had just told me he only wanted to be with me and that song began to play, I remember how good Nick looked, his suit hugging his body nicely, a cigarette in one hand and a glass of champagne in the other, hair teased and makeup stunning.
It was really there, when he put that rose onto my suit and was holding me close, looking at me with desperation, a kiss on the lips would have done us both good in that moment, but I was terrified.
He makes his way over to me, and I stare at him in pure admiration, mouth open to speak but no words come out, just mesmerised by Nick and I hope he can see that.
"I was waiting for you to play this one."
I say in a slight whisper, although Nick hears me, giving me a laugh.
I then flinch slightly when Nick extends a hand out to me; a sweet smile spreading across his face.
"Aren't you going to dance with me, Ands?"
He asks beautifully, head tilting to the side with a brow raised. "C'mon, no excuses this time."
I roll my eyes with a smile, feeling a blush coming onto my face, and maybe Nick can notice it too, his smile growing wider.
"Alright, fine. One dance."
I look at his hand and and take it, and as soon as I do I am pulled up to my feet, a gasp escaping my lips as I have been jolted forward.
Nick soon pulls me closer, we are now chest to chest and face to face, all else seems to fade away from the room. All that remains is Nick, just his pretty face looking up at me, and that's all that I want to see.
I listen to the song closely, having no clue how to dance to it as it's a slow song, but I'm hoping Nick will help guide me along, step by step.
"Here," Nick begins, taking one of my hands and setting it onto his waist, finally realising I needed help with this.
"Now give me your other hand."
He demands, our fingers intertwining and he holds them out, causing me to giggle softly.
He soon puts his unoccupied hand to my chest, which I wasn't expecting, thinking his hand would also go onto my waist.
His hand feels heavy on my chest, so warm and close, the heat is bleeding through my shirt, and I try to get closer to him if possible; I want to kiss him senseless, it's on the forefront of my mind.
Nick soon breaks into a laughter, eyes closing shut for a second as he giggles away, and I find myself laughing back, his laugh is overly contagious and it's hard not to even crack a smile.
"You're quite hopeless when it comes to dancing." Nick says with a smile, and I laugh at his comment.
"I wasn't born to dance, Nick."
"You just need to loosen up, you're as stiff as a board." Nick says, shaking his head with a small groan of pretend annoyance.
Nick sways me gently, and I allow my body to be moved without much effort on my part. I listen to the music closely, the lyrics bringing me back to other times, past nights where this would be playing. Although I realise I don't need to think of those times anymore, times where Nick and I wouldn't be able to dance with each other, now it's different and we can.
Those times don't matter anymore, all we need is now, right? Why think about the past when Nick is here with me now, in a way I really want.
I soon hear Nick hum softly to the music, then closing his eyes and resting his head upon my shoulder. I can tell he's very tired, and of course he is, after everything he's been through.
I run a hand up his back, causing a little groan to escape his lips as we sway, only seeing Nick and only hearing music.
"I always dreamed about dancing with you to this."
He whispers against the shell of my ear, his voice soft and delicate, his words giving me butterflies.
"Really?"
I ask, looking down at him, chin now resting on my shoulder, eyes slightly closed. He gives a nod, his eyes then opening to meet mine.
"That night in the club, when this song played. I just wanted to ask you for a dance, but- I decided against it."
He says, his last words sounding a bit glum, and I can understand why.
"I wish you did. Even though I would have been terrified."
I say with a small laugh, also earning a laugh from Nick, his smile stays there.
"You looked so handsome that night. I was just mesmerised, you in that good suit. I'm still very grateful you wore it."
I try to talk, but my mouth is try and my face is completely heated up; I stare at him, mouth slightly opened to try and speak, but I can't help but get flustered at his compliments.
He thought I looked handsome.
"I wanted you to wear it for a reason, y'know."
He whispers, not making this any easier for me to try and register the words I'm hearing.
"Oh stop."
I say, turning away from Nick in an attempt to try hide the blush on my cheeks.
"You don't seem to take compliments well."
Nick soon says, patting the side of my face and I flinch, turning back to him.
"I don't get a great deal to know how to respond."
Suddenly he scoffs loudly, eyes widening with an eyebrow raised, my words have shocked him it seems.
"Oh sure."
He hisses, putting a hand to my back and pulling me in closer, our chests now stuck together and I almost laugh out of nervousness.
"It's true- I knew early on that I wouldn't be seen the way all of you are, very handsome."
I say, feeling a wave of sadness go over me, because it's true, I never did get compliments, and on the rare occasion of getting one I haven't a clue on how to respond.
"Well I'll change that for you, don't worry. I'll never leave you alone with compliments."
He whispers, squeezing my hand tighter and I smile at him, the song soon fading into nothing as we stare into each other's eyes.
"Hey, look at me." He demands, setting a hand onto my face, and my eyes meet his without a hesitation.
"I've always thought you were beautiful, I almost envied you when you walked into the Rum Runner. There was something cool and different with how you looked, and I will never stop thinking that."
I almost feel myself well up with tears, the two of us still holding on tight to each other, and I feel my lip tremble.
"It shocks me when someone like you compliments me."
I say with a soft laugh, and Nick tuts, staring deeply into my eyes.
"Someone like me?"
He repeats, the words sounding confusing coming from him.
"Yeah, someone as pretty as you. I'm completely honest when I say I've never seen anyone like you. You could make anyone fall for you, any man or any woman."
Before I can even open my mouth again, Nick pulls me forward and our lips smash together, earning a small gasp from my mouth.
We part, and I again I almost see stars.
"Well they can keep wanting me, because I'm yours, no one else's."
And with that, I am the one to pull him in for a kiss.