"What is out there?" Carly whispered, turning slightly to face Deanna. They'd spent the day together, and were currently lying on their backs, looking up at the sky. Deanna had spread a blanket out in their corner of the park so they could watch the sunset. Which eventually turned into watching the stars slowly dot their way across the sky.
"Out where?" Deanna asked, still staring up at the sky. Carly pointed upwards.
"In the sky. There has to be more, right?" The smaller girl studied Deanna's face once more. She found the older girl much more interesting than the stars.
"No one knows," Deanna finally turned to look at Carly, earning a soft smile from the girl. "I think that's what makes looking up at the stars so magical. There's so much out there that we don't know about yet."
"It is scary," Carly scooted closer to Deanna and laid her head on her shoulder.
"Nah," Deanna shook her head. "We're safe down here, Carly," she snaked an arm around Carly's waist and gazed back up at the sky. "The stars just remind us that we're not alone."
"I am not alone," Carly nodded once. "I have you."
"You have me," Deanna confirmed, smiling softly at Carly.
"And you have me," Carly smiled widely and turned over to her side, propping herself up with her elbow so she could study Deanna's face. "You and me, right?"
"Me and you," Deanna nodded once and winked at Carly. The smaller girl giggled and let her hair hang down in front of her face.
"Hey, don't do that," Deanna laughed softly and reached out to tuck Carly's hair behind her ear. "Don't hide your beautiful face."
"I am beautiful?" Carly tilted her head to the side, as if beauty was a foreign concept to her. Deanna raised an eyebrow and turned so she too, was now on her side.
"I think everyone's beautiful," she began, reaching out and twirling a piece of Carly's hair around her finger. "But there's just something about you that makes you special," Deanna smiled softly. "Special to me."
"I am happy here," Carly sighed softly, turning back over on her back and looking up at the sky. "It is a new feeling, but I do like it."
"It's a new feeling?" Deanna bit her lip, thinking back to Carly's old journal entries. The girl had constantly wished for happiness, hoping that some day in the future she could find it.
"Yes," Carly nodded, continuing to gaze up at the stars. "Before... there were bad things. And bad people. It was hard to be happy," she turned to Deanna and pursed her lips. "But there is happiness here, I have found it."
Deanna's breath caught in her throat when Carly reached out and placed her hand above Deanna's heart. "There is happiness here. With you," Carly smiled contently. "I am home."
"Home?" Deanna asked, finding it hard to form a coherent sentence. She was thankful it had grown dark, so the smaller girl couldn't seen the overwhelming blush on her cheeks.
"Yes, home," Carly nodded. "I looked for a home. Before you," she sat up and turned so she was facing Deanna. "But I could not find it. Because even happy houses have sad people, did you know that?"
Deanna nodded softly, beginning to understand what Carly meant.
"I did not understand how happy houses could have sad people," Carly continued. Deanna reached out and took the small girl's hand in her own.
"I thought a happy house could be a home. But if there were sad people, I could not find home," Carly thought for a moment and looked down at their hands. "But I found you." She traced her eyes up to Deanna's face.
"You are not a house. But you are a home, Didi. Did you know that?" Carly tilted her head to the side and innocently traced her fingers up Deanna's arm. "My home. I found it here."
Slowly, Carly reached up and placed her hand back over Deanna's heart. "My home has a heart. I can feel it, and I have seen it." With her other hand, she reached up and cupped Deanna's cheek, studying her face for a few moments.
"My home has a breathing heart and ocean eyes," Carly smiled softly. "You are my home,Didi"
It was as if the butterflies in Deanna's stomach would never cease. The dark haired girl reached up, placing her hand on top of Carly's, overtop of her own heart.
"If you found your home," Deanna started, lifting Carly's hand off of her chest and placing her hand over Carly's heart. "Then my home found me."
Carly's lips parted into a smile, making Deanna laugh softly. The smaller girl nuzzled back down into Deanna's side and sighed contently.
"I am so happy, Didi," she mumbled into the crook of Deanna's neck.
"And I'm so happy that you're so happy," Deanna giggled, feeling her heart swell up at the moment they were sharing. "You've been talking a lot more lately, have you noticed that?"
Carly lifted her head and furrowed her eyebrows together. "What do you mean?"
"I can't explain it... you've just... you've been making a lot of progress since you've first got here. You're learning a lot, yeah?" Deanna bit her lip. Carly nodded softly.
"That's a good thing, Carly," Deanna laughed quietly and ran her fingers up and down Carly's arm. "That means you're starting to express yourself more. That's good. I want to know what you're thinking."
"I want to kiss you," Carly whispered. Deanna nearly jumped when Carly spoke. "That is what I am thinking."
"Nothing's stopping you," Deanna giggled. Carly crinkled her nose and looked down shyly.
"Don't be shy," Deanna laughed softly and turned Carly's chin so they were facing each other once more. Leaning in slowly, Deanna connected their lips in a soft, gentle kiss. When they pulled away, Carly smiled widely and tangled herself back up in Deanna's side.
Their kisses never lasted more than a few seconds, nothing too deep. Deanna wouldn't allow that. She didn't want to take advantage of Carly. She could wait. They had all the time in the world.
Silence overtook both the girls as they stared up at the sky, exploring the endless universe above them with their eyes. Deanna turned her head slowly, studying Carly instead of the sky. The smaller girl was much more enchanting.
"Sing," Carly caught Deanna looking at her and smiled. "Can you sing, Didi?"
"Only for you," Deanna leaned over and kissed Carly's temple.
🎶Look at the stars,
Look how they shine for you,
And everything you do.
Yeah they were all yellow.
I came along,
I wrote a song for you,
And all the things you do.
And it was called yellow.
So then I took my turn,
Oh what a thing to have done.
And it was all yellow.
Your skin,
Oh yeah your skin and bones,
Turn into something beautiful.
You know, you know I love you so.
You know I love you so. 🎶
Deanna turned her head to glance at Carly when the girl didn't respond once the song was over. A soft smile spread across her face when she saw the girl's eyes had closed and her chest was rising and falling slowly. She'd fallen asleep.
"I didn't know I was that boring," Deanna laughed softly to herself, peeling Carly's sleeping figure off of her and rising to her feet. She brushed off her jeans before bending back down and gently picking Carly up. The girl remained asleep as Deanna tossed the blanket over her shoulder and began walking back towards the apartment.
Carly stirred slightly when Deanna turned around and pushed through the door to their apartment. Mumbling something inaudible, she buried her head in Deanna's chest and sighed heavily.
"Wanna walk on your own?" Deanna raised an eyebrow. Carly turned her head and gazed up at Deanna groggily.
"No,Carry me" she giggled, hiding her head back in Deanna's neck.
"You're lucky you're cute," Deanna teased, sliding the blanket off her shoulder and kicking it into the corner by the door. Slipping off her shoes, she adjusted Carly in her arms and carefully made her way up the stairs.
Judging by the lack of light in the hallway, all their other roommates were already asleep. Deanna quietly used her hip to push the bedroom door open and made her way across the dark room. Lying Carly in her bed, the smaller girl immediately curled up into a ball and squirmed under the covers. Deanna giggled at her actions.
"C'mon Didi," Carly mumbled, lifting her head and squinted groggily at Deanna. The older girl bit her lip in thought for a moment.
"I've got some homework to finish first," she said, rummaging around in her drawers and pulling out a large canvas. "You go ahead and get some sleep, I'll be up in a little bit."
Carly held out her hands and motioned for Deanna to come closer. Once Deanna was within her reach, she cupped Deanna's cheeks and placed a kiss on her forehead.
"Goodnight, Didi," she hummed, turning back over in the bed and burying herself under the covers. Blushing, Deanna whispered a soft goodnight before grabbing her canvas and leaving the room.
Yawning, Deanna positioned herself at the easel downstairs, pulling up a chair and propping her canvas up.
She never did end up going back to bed. She worked all through the night, not even realizing the quickly passing time. Deanna was only brought out of her intense zone of concentration when she heard soft footsteps coming down the steps.
Wiping her eyes, she quickly turned the canvas around and looked behind her. It was only then that she realized the sun was shining through the windows, letting her know that the night had completely passed her by.
A yawning Carly slowly padded her way over to Deanna, studying the older girl in confusion. "Where were you?"
"Working on something for class," Deanna's voice rasped. She cleared her throat and motioned for Carly to come closer. The smaller girl obliged, walking over and sitting in Deanna's lap.
"Tired?" Deanna raised an eyebrow when Carly sighed and laid her head on Deanma's shoulder. The smaller girl nodded slowly and mumbled something inaudible. "What?"
"I am hungry," Carly lifted her head and crinkled her nose. Deanna giggled and kissed her forehead.
"I think we can fix that," Deanna sat up and walked into the kitchen. Carly followed eagerly, climbing up onto the island and watching as Deanna set a pan on the stove.
"How'd you sleep?" Deanna asked, cracking two eggs into the pan and turning the burner on. Carly shrugged and stretched out her arms.
"I had a dream about you," she admitted, smiling shyly. "We were in the stars."
"The stars, eh?" Deanna laughed softly, scrambling the eggs in the pan with a spatula. "That sounds like a good dream."
"It was good because you were there, Didi," Carly giggled and slid off the counter, walking over to where Deanna stood and watching her as she slid the eggs off of the pan and onto a plate. Carly jumped when the toaster beside her dinged and two slices of bread popped out.
Deanna giggled at Carly's reaction. She tossed the toast onto the plate and quickly spread strawberry jelly over both of the slices.
"Breakfast for you, my princess," she said playfully, handing the plate to Carly. The small girl looked down shyly, but not before Deanna saw the pink tint of her cheeks.
"C'mon," Deanna laughed, grabbing an apple from the counter and leading Carly over to the kitchen table. Carly sat down, studying the meal Deanna had made her before taking a bite out of her toast and humming in approval.
"Good?" Deanna raised an eyebrow.
"Yes. You made it," Carly smiled, giving her a thumbs up. Deanna laughed, taking a bite out of her apple and returning the gesture.
"I've got to get ready for school," Deanna sighed, looking at the clock. "Riri doesn't have class today, though. So you can stay here with her."
"You will come back, right?" Carly looked up, tapping her fork against her plate.
"Of course," Deanna nodded once and reached out to squeeze Carly's hand. "I always do."
As if on cue, Riri's soft footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs. Deanna tossed the core of her apple into the trash can and planted a kiss on Carly's forehead.
"I'm gonna go get dressed," Deanna told Carly, giving Riri a thankful smile before jogging upstairs. She quickly got dressed, going out of her way to find a pastel yellow sweater that she had tossed in the back of her closet. Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she appeared back down stairs about ten minutes later.
"Yellow," Carly chimed, walking over to Deanna and running her fingers down the sleeve of her shirt. "You are pretty," she smiled, taking Deanna's hand in her own.
"And you are too," Deanna laughed softly, ruffling Carly's hair and making the younger girl crinkle her nose. "I've gotta go to class, I'll be back, okay?"
"Duh," Carly giggled, raising her eyebrows.
"Who taught you that?" Deanna laughed, walking over and grabbing her canvas from the easel in the back of the room. She made sure to keep the front hidden from the other girls in the room.
"Eya," Carly nodded once and gave Deanna a thumbs up.
"Eya's bad news, isn't she?" Deanna teased, slipping on her shoes. Carly just shrugged and walked over to the door.
"I'll be back," Deanna gave Carly a quick kiss on the cheek.
"I know. You said that already," Carly giggled and shook her head. Deanna made a face at her, laughed softly, and slipped out the door without another word.
The brisk morning air woke her up right away, and soon she found herself jogging into the school building. For once, she was on time, and she had actually remembered her project. She placed the canvas face down in the back of the room and took her seat.
Class went by slowly. Deanna busied herself by doodling flowers in her sketchbook. For once, she used colored pencils to bring them to life. Carly had helped her find the color in things. She was thankful for that.
"You're dismissed for today," her teacher clapped his hands together and turned off the projector. "Deanna, can I see you before you leave?"
Deanna took a deep breath, looking up from her sketchbook. Was he going to scold her for skipping class the week before? She resolved on nodding softly, slowly packing up her things as the rest of the class filed out of the room. Biting her lip, she made her way over to his desk.
Her teacher glanced at the door before running his hand through his hair. "Pardon my language, Ms. Wong," he started, flipping her painting over in front of them. "But where the hell did this come from?"
Deanna tilted her head to the side, looking down at the painting she'd finished the night before. In the painting, there was a girl standing by the bank of a pond, looking down into the water at her reflection. In her reflection, though, she was painted in dark colors, radiating sadness. The smallest details showed this. The girl in the reflection wore all black, hid her face behind her hair, and let her shoulders slump down.
In contrast, the girl above the pond was standing up tall. She had on a white sundress, and in her hand she held a small yellow flower. The trees behind her were bright and colorful, and there were clouds in the bright sky above her.
"I, uh, I painted it last night," she bit her lip.
"This is incredibly detailed," he ran his fingers over the canvas. "Normally I wouldn't approve of the mixing of two different medias, but somehow using watercolors and oil paints really worked in your favor, Deanna."
"I, uh, wow," Deanna cleared her throat. "Thank you," she bit her lip.
"Compared to last weeks painting, this looks like the work of a completely different artist," he chuckled. "I have a feeling something changed since we've last seen each other. Am I correct?"
Deanna just nodded slowly.
"Well I hope you hold onto her this time," he gave her a knowing smile. Deanna felt her cheeks turn red at the thought of Carly and looked down shyly.
He pulled a paper out of his desk and began scrawling something down. "I'm transferring you to the advanced class," he folded the paper in half and handed it to her. "It's usually only for juniors and seniors, but you have too much potential, I can't let you continue to sit around and learn things you already know."
Deanna raised her eyebrows and looked down at the paper in her hands, confirming her transfer. "I... wow," she shook her head and breathed in slowly. "Thank you."
Mr. Robertson picked up her painting and handed it back to her. "Life is too short to love with limitations, Deanna. Remember that."
Deanna nodded softly. "Thank you... so much," she held the canvas under her arm and took a deep breath.
"You're dismissed now, Ms. Wong. I'll see you around."
Deanna gave him a thankful smile, slinging her bag over her shoulder and quietly slipping out of the classroom.
On her drive home, she turned off the radio and gave herself time to think. So much had changed in such a short amount of time. Carly had come into her life and completely turned it upside down.
If you had told Deanna this would happen a year ago, she would have punched you in the face. But now, it was believable. And it was real.
She knew it wouldn't be perfect from then on. Carly still had a lot of things to process, and a lot of things to work through. Deanna was aware of that. She was more than aware. But more importantly, she was willing to wait. She is willing to wait for Carly.
Maybe that was what had changed. Before, Deanna wanted a relationship for all the wrong reasons. She wanted a perfect relationship. No conflict, no problems; just happiness.
Granted, it was quite an unattainable wish. And she knew that now.
But with Carly, she wanted everything. She wanted to be by her side through the good times and the bad. She wanted to be the one that held her when she cried. She wanted to be the one that made her laugh. Deanna wanted to be a part of Carly's life, for all of it.
It wasn't perfect, but that's what made it perfect. To her.
She pulled to a stop in the parking lot, parking her car and looked up at the tall building. A wide smile appeared on her face when she saw a movement coming from their apartment window. Waving back to Carly, she jogged into the building.
The second she touched her key to the doorknob, the door flew open and Carly smiled happily at her.
"Didi," she hummed, practically jumping into Deanna's arms. Deanna dropped her bag down and returned the hug, kissing the top of Carly's head and feeling a thousand butterflies erupt in her stomach. The smaller girl sighed contently.
"You came back," Carly smiled softly, pulling away from the hug and gazing up at Deanna.
Deanna nodded and placed a hand on Carly's cheek, running her thumb over the smooth skin.
"I always will."
-TO BE CONTINUED
a/n: and there you have it!
Next chapter is the EPILOGUE!! Sorry sa MGA nag ppm Sakin pero need na to tapusin, and yeah bitin, I know kasi NGA may book 2&3 to kaso d ko na gagawin.
Pero don't worry, next chapter is epilogue and medyo mahaba Yun :)