Yubel's POV
"Rainbow Dragon!"
"Winged Kuriboh!"
One of Judai's facedown cards lifted to reveal Winged Kuriboh. The monster yelped in alarm. Rainbow Dragon's attack hit Winged Kuriboh, destroying the little monster with a screech.
"Sorry, little buddy," Judai muttered, shivering from behind his duel disk.
"I set one card facedown and end my turn," Johan replied, his smile wider and brighter than the sun.
"My turn! Draw!" Judai gazed at the card he'd drawn and the colour seemed to drain from his face. Concern overtook Yubel.
"Do you have a plan?" they asked, folding their arms.
"Plan?" Judai stared at them in confusion.
Yubel frowned. "For defeating Rainbow Dragon!"
"I don't have any card that can defeat it," Judai admitted, showing Yubel his cards.
Yubel glanced at them. He was right: the only cards Judai had were cards to buff up his monsters, which were useless when he had no monsters on the field. Yubel met Judai's gaze.
"Are you... going to surrender?" Yubel asked cautiously.
Judai dipped his head. "I have no other choice." With a sigh, he placed his hand over his deck.
"Huh?" Johan's eyes went wide. "Judai?"
"I surrender, Johan." There was no anger in Judai's voice, just resignation.
Rainbow Dragon faded from the field and both duelist's duel disks shifted back to normal.
"I... I won?" Johan's voice came out in a breath.
Judai smiled. "You won."
Yubel's jaw clenched. *Don't act so happy when you've lost!* Before Yubel could comment, Judai walked across the field to where Johan was.
Judai held his hand out to him. "Great job, old friend."
"Heh..." Johan smiled and pointed at him. "Gotcha!"
Judai gasped a little. Then he broke into a laugh, with Johan following suit. They smiled at each other. That look in Judai's eyes... it was a look Yubel was used to seeing, only it was usually directed at them. Jealousy pricked Yubel like a needle. *No,* Yubel insisted to themself, *He chose you, he loves you. Whatever he felt for Johan is in the past.*
"So what are you doing all the way out here?" Judai asked, taking off his duel disk.
Johan shrugged. "Same as you I'm guessing. I wanted to study the duel monster spirits, and find ones to help."
"That is the same as me!" Judai exclaimed, his eyes bright. "How'd you guess?"
"We've always had a lot in common, Judai," Johan replied evenly. "It's what drew me to you." He winked at Judai.
Yubel clenched their fist, unable to bite back a growl. Judai met their gaze. Heart skipping a beat, Yubel looked away.
"Oh..." Johan sounded somewhat alarmed. "Is that Yubel?"
"Yeah!" Judai's tone was enthusiastic. "Yubel and I have been fused ever since..." His voice trailed off when he noticed the wide-eyed look on Johan's face. "Oh... don't worry. They're not evil anymore. The Light of Destruction was twisting their mind but I banished that from them by fusing with them. They're back to normal and..." He dipped his head as he added, "And they're my lover."
Yubel's heart lit up at that description. They glanced up. Johan had an uncertain look on his face. Then he smiled. Taking a step toward Yubel, he held his hand out for a handshake.
"Well if Judai is willing to forgive you, so am I, Yubel."
Yubel's gaze shifted from Johan's hand to his expression. He seemed genuinely happy.
"Great," Yubel muttered, looking away.
Johan took a step back, resting his hand on the back of his neck. Judai stepped toward him. Yubel could feel Judai's discomfort as if it were their own. It was like Judai was only just now realizing what a bad idea it was having Johan and Yubel in the same space.
"Yubel..." Judai spoke up. Yubel waited for him to continue but he was at a loss for words.
"Hey... Judai..." Johan spoke up. Judai and Yubel glanced at him. "There's a town not far from here, I was gonna go look for duelists there. You want to come with me?"
Yubel stiffened with anger. *What did he just ask him?!*
"Sure!" Judai exclaimed, his heart swelling with unbridled joy. "That sounds great!"
"Judai!" Yubel protested, panic slipping into their voice.
Judai glanced at him and Yubel could both see and feel his concern for them.
"Yubel, the whole reason I came out here was to find and study duel monster spirits," Judai explained. "I won't find any spirits if I don't find any duelists and a town could be full of them."
Yubel let out a sigh. They knew Judai was lying, at least in part. They could feel the longing in his heart for Johan, a longing that seemed so similar to the longing he felt for them. A wave of anxiety hit Yubel like a mallet. Judai had vowed to love only Yubel, but that had been in their past lives. In this life... There was also Johan. Would Judai decide to choose Johan instead of Yubel if they let him spend time with the fellow duelist?
Yubel couldn't stop themself from shaking. "Judai... please..." Their voices came out in a sob.
Judai's heart ached. "Johan..." He turned to his friend. "I need to talk to Yubel. I'll meet up with you later if I can."
Johan dipped his head. "I understand." And with that, Johan dashed off.
Judai met Yubel's gaze, taking a step toward them. He held his hands out. "Yubel? What's wrong?"
"Judai... you love him."
Judai staggered back. "Who? Johan?" He stiffened, resting his hand on the back of his neck. "No, no, he's just a friend."
Yubel could hear Judai's heart palpitating and could now feel Judai's anxiety.
Yubel's eyes narrowed. "Judai, I can feel all your emotions. You can't hide this from me."
"No, Yubel..." Judai stepped toward them. He tried to take Yubel's hands but they fazed right through. "I love you. I've always loved you, only you."
Judai's tone was blunt. However, Yubel knew he was mainly trying to convince himself, not them.
"Judai..." Yubel growled. "I can feel your longing for him. It's eating away at you, tugging you toward him. You didn't care about the duel monster spirits when he made that offer. You felt nothing but eagerness to be with him."
"Because he's my friend!" Judai exclaimed defensively. "You can love your friends, and I haven't seen him in a long time..." He cast a longing glance in the direction Johan had gone. Then he let out a sigh. "Yubel..." He met their gaze again. "Please, let me have this. I love you but I need others in my life as well."
Yubel's eyes narrowed. "You have Pharoah and the duel monster spirits."
The cat in question rubbed up against Judai's leg but he didn't take his eyes off Yubel.
"Other humans," he corrected.
"Daitokuji."
"He's dead. And... kind of a weirdo." Judai smiled a bit.
Yubel bristled with anger, clenching their fists so hard their claws dug into their hands.
"Johan can help me with the duel spirits," Judai continued, "Remember, he can see them too."
Yubel looked away. "Fine." Their voice was cold. "Do what you want."
"Thanks, Yubel!"
Judai threw himself toward them, arms wide open, but he fazed right through them. Judai flopped to the ground with a yelp. Jumping to his feet, Judai gazed at Yubel with wide hopeful eyes.
"Can you take physical form so I can hug you?" he asked, smiling.
Yubel closed their eyes. Instead of taking physical form, they allowed their spirit form to disappear, retreating completely into Judai's mind.
"Yubel?!" Judai called, his voice full of distress.
*Go find your friend,* Yubel thought bitterly, hoping he would get the message. Judai let out a sigh. Instead of protesting further, he walked in the direction Johan had gone, his eagerness to see him returning like a boomerang. Yubel's entire being blazed with anger.
Yubel had felt Judai and Johan's feelings for each other firsthand. They felt Johan's fascination and worry for Judai when they had possessed him and Yubel could sense all of Judai's feelings, including the care he had for Johan, which burned as deep in his heart as his love for Yubel. The very idea of Judai loving someone else the way he loved them filled Yubel with an all too familiar feeling. A feeling of being less than worthy of love. *I thought he chose me! How could he still love Johan after all we've been through?!*
"Johan!" Judai called.
Even in the depths of Judai's psyche, Yubel could still tell what was going on in the outside world. They could see Johan and feel Judai's excitement. It was as if they were seeing through Judai's eyes, like a piece of his soul. *He loves me not Johan, I'm a part of him, I'm more important to him. I have to be,* Yubel insisted to themself.
"Judai!" Johan's voice was bright. "Glad you could make it." He looked around, confusion in his eyes. "Where is Yubel?"
"Not in their physical form," Judai sighed, dipping his head. Yubel could feel his disappointment as he spoke.
"So it's just us then?" Johan asked, tilting his head to the side.
"No, Yubel is here," Judai explained. "They'll always be part of me. We just can't see them."
Johan nodded in understanding. "Want to get some food while we look around?"
Judai smiled. "Sure."
His disappointment over Yubel's absence faded and was taken over by his eagerness to be with Johan. Yubel recoiled at the sudden change.
"Well come on then!" Johan called, taking off in a run.
Judai raced after him with a chuckle, getting to his side in moments. The two duelists dashed side by side. Johan drifted closer to Judai, their hands brushing against each other for a few moments. Jealousy pricked at Yubel. Judai let out a barely audible gasp when he noticed. Shifting away, Johan stopped in front of a cart of fruit beside the dirt road. Judai stepped up beside him.
"What kind of fruits do you like, Judai?" Johan asked, glancing at him with a smile.
Judai shrugged. "I'll eat anything as long as it's not mouldy."
Johan chuckled. He took a grape in his fingers, lightly squeezing it a bit.
"How is this?" Johan asked, holding the grape in front of Judai's face.
Judai took the grape in his mouth, eating it right out of Johan's hand. He smiled and licked his lips. Johan smiled.
"Hey." The store vendor sounded grouchy. "You gonna pay for that?"
Johan glanced at him. "Of course." He placed a pile of coins on the counter before looking back at Judai. "How's a bunch of grapes and a banana for each of us sound?"
"Sounds great!" Judai replied, smiling.
Johan passed the store vendor some of the coins, sliding a bunch of grapes into a bag and grabbing two bananas. Judai took one of the bananas. The vendor took the money, sliding it under the counter.
"Thank you!" Johan called as he and Judai walked away.
The two ate their food as they walked before sitting down under the slanted roof of one of the homes. They leaned against the wall, placing the grapes between them.
"Hey, Johan."
Judai tapped Johan's shoulder. When Johan turned to him, Judai opened his mouth, waiting for Johan to feed him. Johan chuckled in amusement. Grabbing a grape, he tossed it into Judai's mouth, who ate it up eagerly.
"So what have you been up to since graduation?" Johan asked, scooting closer to Judai.
Their shoulders brushed against each other. Judai heated up at the contact, his heart rate increasing and he suddenly couldn't string words together. Anger bristled through Yubel. Judai, their Judai, was acting like some schoolboy with a crush. Yes, Judai had been a Duel Academia student only a few months ago but Yubel thought he was over these childish things.
"Oh, you know..." Judai rested his hand on the back of his neck. "Just... going around... looking for duel spirits to help..." He let out a sigh. "I've been a bit lost honestly. I'm not... really sure what to do."
"Ah..." Johan dipped his head. "So you do get it."
"Huh?" Judai glanced at Johan.
"I'm in the same position," Johan replied, his gaze fixed on the card in his hand: Rainbow Dragon. "All I know is that I want dueling to remain part of my life. I'm just... not sure how yet."
Judai nodded. "Yeah... exactly. Dueling has been such a huge part of my life. Even the times it caused me suffering, I never wanted to stop dueling. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm closer to my cards than any people I've met."
There was a flicker of doubt in Judai's mind at that statement. Yubel guessed they knew why.
"Yeah..." Johan let out a sigh. Then he met Judai's gaze, his green eyes glowing. "Well... I know one person who's an exception to that."
Judai turned to him. "Who?"
Johan chuckled. "You, silly." He tapped Judai's nose.
Judai 's jaw dropped. "Johan..." His heart was pounding in his ears and he was suddenly lost in Johan's gaze.
"It's fine if you don't feel the same," Johan replied, turning away and taking a bite of his banana.
"No, no! I do!" Judai leaned toward Johan, gently gripping his wrist. "I-I-I- you're a great friend Johan!"
Yubel bit back a growl. *Yeah... 'friend.' That's all you feel toward him.* Yubel had felt Judai's feelings toward his friends at Duel Academia and they were nothing like this. Judai cared for those friends. With Johan, Judai was feeling a much deeper form of kinship, like he'd found a part of himself in Johan. This devotion... It was exactly the same thing Judai felt for Yubel or seemingly once felt... Yubel's heart cracked.
Yubel closed their eyes. Judai's psyche suddenly felt like a prison as all of his love for Johan poured into Yubel out of control. It shattered them to pieces. Their insides twisted up like a pretzel. Yubel wanted to tear themself away from Judai, tear their own heart out, anything to stop the pain from shredding them apart. Anxiety suddenly overcame Yubel. Their heart was palpitating and they were as stiff as a board.
"Judai...?" Johan's voice shook Yubel from their trance. They froze. This anxiety wasn't theirs, it was Judai's.
"I..." Judai stood up.
His gaze fixed on the ground and he was suddenly shivering. This wasn't just anxiety. It was horror, guilt, disgust, and anguish all stabbing into him at once like arrows. *Why is he feeling this way?* Yubel wondered. They wanted to comfort him. This pain... the way Judai was hurting them suddenly became meaningless.
"I need space," Judai muttered, gripping his chest.
Johan nodded. "Okay."
And with that, Judai charged away. Tears poured from his eyes and his chest heaved as he struggled to keep in his sobs. Yubel took physical form beside him. However, Judai didn't stop, he didn't even seem to notice Yubel as he rushed into an abandoned house at the edge of the town, allowing himself to fall to his knees once he was alone.
"Judai..." Yubel spoke up finally. "What's wrong?"
"Not now..." Judai's voice was a high-pitched sob.
Yubel froze. "Judai..."
"Please... I need to be alone."
Yubel let out a sigh. "I'm here if you need me, Judai," they whispered, as they allowed themself to disappear.