Y/N knocks on the Winery's front door, trembling in her boots from a mixture of things. The cold night winds, the adrenaline rush from confronting Donna earlier, and the fear of facing Diluc all send shivers down Y/N's spine.
Adelinde opens the door with the same tired expression she has been wearing these days. "You're a little late today. Everything alright?"
Y/N nods. "Sorry, I just had some things to take care of. Is Diluc..."
Adelinde shakes her head with a sigh before Y/N even finishes her sentence, already predicting Y/N's usual question.
"Not here today either, huh..." The fear that Y/N may see him today is replaced by the disappointment of not seeing him. Y/N gives Adelinde a soft smile. "Sorry for bothering you all. Goodnight."
Adelinde shuts the door, and Y/N lets out a heavy sigh.
What if I can't fix things before I go? The thought causes her to choke up.
Don't you dare! Y/N curses herself as she sniffles, quickly wiping away the tears forming in her eyes. After so much crying, Y/N has only gotten sick of her own tears.
Y/N turns to walk back home when the sound of the front door swinging open freezes her in her tracks. Golden light from inside spills out onto the porch and over Y/N's figure as Adelinde's cry for Diluc to wait a moment rings out a second too late.
Y/N's breath hitches in her throat. Oh, Archons. He's behind me, isn't he? Y/N gulps.
Time seems to stop. Y/N's limbs suddenly feel as if they're made of lead. She can't bring herself to turn around. Her heart races with nervousness. What are you waiting for?
What expression is he wearing? Does he still hate me? Is he angry? Or is he still... Diluc's hurt expression he wore the night of their argument flashes through Y/N's mind. Y/N's face scrunches up with pain. I can't bear to see him like that anymore. I need to fix my mess right now.
Y/N spins around on her heels to face the front door. "Di-"
Before she can even lay her eyes on him, the door slams shut.
"Ah."
A moment of silence passes. A bitter grin makes its way onto Y/N's lips. Gods, I'm such a fool! He's been avoiding me for weeks! Why did I think he would want to see me?
Y/N takes a deep breath, the cold temperature turning her exhale into a puff of white. She stares at the daunting door. It stares back, unmoving as if to show her the barrier between them. No matter how long she stands there, the door stays shut.
Y/N shakes her head at herself before tearing her eyes away and walking down the steps of the porch. Hot tears drip from her eyes as she calmly walks back to Mondstadt.
-----
Diluc's heart pounds and aches in his chest. His forehead leans against the front door, and his hand clutches the handle so tightly his knuckles are white. He was caught off-guard by Y/N's presence. Usually, she comes by earlier in the evening, and he gets Adelinde to send her away. Why is she here so late?
Although he had successfully avoided her for such a long time, the feelings she brings still feel raw. Too raw. But as much as they hurt, they feel real. He feels vulnerable and human around her in a way he can't explain.
Y/N came all the way here. I didn't even let her explain herself. Am I really going to let her go over my overreaction while drunk?
Am I going to lose her like this?
Adelinde, Moco, and Hillie watch Diluc from the top of the stairs with worried gazes.
"He's been standing there for five minutes now," Hillie whispers to Moco. "And why hasn't Y/N said anything?"
Moco shrugs. "Why can't they make up already? What even happened that was so bad?" She whispers back.
"You don't know?!" Hillie exclaims in a hushed voice. Diluc and Y/N's argument night of the Wine-Tasting was definitely not quiet for those inside the manor.
"Hush!" Adelinde hisses at the girls. "The Young Master is troubled, and yet you're watching as if this is some romance novel!"
"W-Wait, he's opening the door!" The maids turn their attention back down to the foyer to see Diluc open the door and rush out.
Adelinde sighs, leaning on the bannister with a faraway look in her eyes. "Even someone like the Young Master has times where he's a fool. At least he's acting his age."
Hillie and Moco blink as they stare at Adelinde. It's a rare sight to see Adelinde so sentimental.
Adelinde coughs awkwardly before glaring at the two girls. "Well, go back to sweeping! We're almost done for the night." She snaps.
"Y-Yes, ma'am!"
-----
The cold November air nips at Y/N's nose as she sniffles. The bitter weather doesn't help her already weak-feeling body from being so cried-out.
"Gods, this is the worst." Y/N mumbles to herself, shivering. I feel like such an idiot. After spending so much time thinking about how she would apologize, she ran away once she saw him.
I could've knocked again. He was right there. She regretfully thinks. Maybe that would've pushed him away further. He probably doesn't want to see me at all. Y/N bites her lip, kicking a stray pebble on the path into the frost-coated grass.
Fall is already over. Y/N frowns. Her birthday is approaching much faster than she likes. A rustle sounds from the nearby shrubs. Y/N turns to see a dendro slime pop out at her.
Y/N swiftly dodges. "I'm not in the mood," Y/N grumbles before quickly drawing her rapier and killing it.
More footsteps can be heard from behind her. Y/N groans. "Fucking slimes. I said I'm not in the mo-" Y/N freezes as she turns around.
Her heart drops as she comes face to face with blazing scarlet hair and crimson eyes. Y/N's jaw hangs agape as she stares at the man standing a few feet from her.
The whole world seems to fall silent as they stare at each other, a million words caught in their throats but not breaking the delicate silence. They can hear their hearts pounding in their ears like the beating of a hummingbird's wings.
"D-Diluc." Y/N manages to croak out. Her voice is barely above a whisper. Her lip trembles, tears welling up in her eyes once again. "I'm s-sorry!" Her voice breaks as she tries to hold back her tears.
"Don't c-cry." Y/N catches his voice break as well, only causing tears to pour down her cheeks.
Y/N runs towards him, tackling him in a hug. "Diluc, I'm so sorry!" She shouts out between sobs. "I'm such an idiot! I shouldn't have kept so much information from you! I didn't mean when I said we're nothing!"
"I'm sorry, too." He whispers out, afraid that if he raises his voice, he might start crying too.
Diluc's familiar warmth wraps around Y/N as he hugs back. His embrace is deathly tight as if Y/N would disappear at any moment.
"What do you have to apologize for?" Y/N asks.
Diluc buries his head into her shoulder. "I was intoxicated and lashed out at you. I didn't even give you a chance to explain yourself."
"It's not your fault. You were drunk." Y/N says. "I'm the one who wasn't communicating! I was so scared of how I felt around you that I pushed you away. You make me feel important, and it's terrifying." Y/N explains. "I've never felt like I have the right to be proud of my shortcomings, so how dare I feel so happy around you? I've fallen short every time, and even now, I've hurt someone I care about."
"Don't say that," Diluc states, lifting his head to face her. "Y/N, you were the first person to make me step out of my shell in so long. Albeit, I felt annoyed at first. You were an annoying Knight who picked fights with me. Despite that, it was so refreshing to feel something. You were the first person to make me feel alive in so long." He explains, gazing at her with glittering ruby eyes.
"You were the first person to make me smile so widely, the first person I could rely on and trust, the first person to give me a reason to laugh or cry in years," A soft smile graces his lips. "And the first person to make me feel such a way."
A rosy-pink blush dusts Y/N's cheeks and nose. Whether it's from the cold weather or the heat rushing to her face, she doesn't know.
"So don't say you fall short of first every time," Diluc states. "Because you've always been first to me."
Y/N feels herself choke up again and doesn't stop herself from bursting into tears once again. "Diluc, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me!" She sobs, throwing herself onto him again.
Diluc comfortingly pats her on the back. "Likewise, but you're choking me a little."
Y/N immediately loosens her grip. "Sorry!" She sniffles, wiping her eyes.
She smiles up at Diluc, her heart pounding in her chest as she sees him smile as well. Y/N can't help but let out a laugh. Diluc looks at her quizically.
"Gods, I planned out this amazing speech I would give you and organized all my thoughts before coming here, but I ended up just bursting into tears and throwing myself at you." She clears her throat. "But now, I'm ready to tell you everything."
He nods, meeting her eyes with patient ones.
"The letter you found the night of the Wine-Tasting was a notice from my family and the Fontaine government reminding me of the time I have left. I initially ran away to Mondstadt with a promise that I would return in four years. I signed the contract when I was sixteen and consequently signed my freedom away. It's ironic, isn't it? I came to Mondstadt seeking freedom which I threw away." Y/N jokes ruefully. "When I turn 20 on the last day of this year, that will be the last day I'll be legally allowed to stay. On the first day of the new year, I have to return to Fontaine and join my family as a Fatui member."
Y/N can see Diluc's adam's apple bob up and down as he gulps. His chest aches at the thought of her returning to her horrible family, never mind joining the organization that murdered his father.
"I didn't want to get close to you, only to hurt both of your feelings once I leave and join the Fatui," Y/N explains. "However, I'm contractually bound, and that's that." She sighs, resting her head on his shoulder.
Diluc strokes her hair reassuringly.
"I don't want to go," Y/N mutters quietly. "I don't want to leave you and the Knights. I don't want to give up my title as the Investigative Captain. I don't want to say goodbye to my juniors and friends. I don't want to return my rapier to Jean. And I don't want to lose you." Y/N says.
"I can always come with you," Diluc suggests, although he already knows it might be impossible.
Y/N shakes her head. "You can't abandon your winery."
"Can't I?" He jokingly responds.
Y/N chuckles. "Don't be stupid."
"I told you, nothing I feel about you is stupid." His tone suddenly becomes serious. "You told me to tell you once I'm sober, didn't you?"
Y/N stops laughing, blood rushing to her face. The memory of Diluc's flirtatious, drunken comments flooding back to her. She abruptly clears her throat. "However, I can't return your feelings just yet!"
Diluc blinks at her.
"I'm not rejecting you," Y/N states. "But I don't think I deserve you yet."
"What do you-"
Y/N cuts him off by pressing her finger to his lips. "Let me finish."
He nods.
"Diluc, you deserve someone better than a person who isn't tied down by their toxic family. I don't think I'm ready to move on yet. So, maybe this is selfish of me to ask, but can you-"
"I can wait." He responds before Y/N can even finish.
A smile creeps onto Y/N's lips. "Thank you."
Something cold lands on her nose. Y/N and Diluc look up to see tiny snowflakes drifting down. "It's snowing," Y/N says in awe at the shimmering, white stars floating towards them.
"You must be cold," Diluc says, extending his arm towards her. "I'll walk you home."
Y/N happily links arms with Diluc as they walk down the path towards Mondstadt side by side. Under the starry night sky rings the quiet symphony of their pitter-pattering hearts as delicate as the snowfall.
-----
A/N:
WHAT.
When did we hit 200K reads?! That's insane! How did I miss it aksdhjdlkajd??!!?
Tysm y'all I LOVE U😭
-Bora🌌