TW: descriptions of throwing up
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Felix had suffered from Epilepsy since he was a young child, he knew how to deal with it and so did his bandmates. His condition was no secret to the public, he wanted everybody to know just in case something dangerous happened while he was out or in a concert. Hiding his condition would be tiring for everyone and, what would happen if he seized on stage? How would they cover that up?
His condition put him at risk in many, for other people normal, situations and he wouldn't risk his life for fear of judgment. This was him, what were they going to do about it? Nothing, exactly. He chose to live his life without lies.
On the other hand, the members were careful with him, making sure to not have any triggers around the dorm or do any extreme activities that might tribute to an episode. They made sure to have an eye out for when Felix was showing signs of stress so they could help him calm down. Their diet was good, they made sure not to put things too out of the ordinary.
Oftentimes, they found themselves busy but there was always someone out of the seven who made sure Felix was alright. They were what many call...a mother hen.
It had been a whole year since Felix had an episode and they couldn't be happier; he was completely healthy. His trips to the hospital lessened and his checkups all went excellent. The seasons came and went quickly without anyone having to worry for his well-being. The future looked promising.
~~
The Stray Kids household was as clean as ever, each member putting in a lot of effort to make their movie night as relaxing as possible. None of them wanted to interrupt it with piled-up work so all of them were busy.
The leader and maknae were out looking for snacks to buy, their list was long, ranging from chocolate and soda to dried fruit and orange juice. Jeongin urged the oldest to take his time insisting that "we have plenty of time" but the leader knew his youngest didn't want to go home and clean with the others.
The kitchen was for Felix, he was in charge of cleaning the counter, the sink, the kitchen table, and of course making the secret brownies. He had spent the whole day making them for their movie night, he made a lot but he didn't mind, he wanted his friends to feel happy, just as happy as they made him feel.
The four plastic containers he filled with brownies were tucked nicely at the back of the fridge hidden behind other containers of food from six days ago...gees, they needed to clean that out. Not his problem.
Hyunjin and Changbin made sure the living room was ready, vacuuming the carpet, cleaning the sofas with rollers, checking if the movies they wanted were available. The only thing left on their checklist was to bring pillows and blankets but they'll leave that for later.
Jisung and Lee Know we're in charge of cleaning the rooms, each and every one of them. No one noticed how long it had been since they were cleaned out until you do it yourself. How could so much paper be under the bed? Is that how a music genius is born? Maybe writing day and night was the most effective way of creating masterpieces. And why did someone need so many bubble gum packets? They organized a full drawer of them!
Seungmin was in charge of cleaning the bathroom, an easy task considering that the group liked to keep the space they enjoyed to be at the most organized. He finished his task quickly and roamed the dorm making as if he was looking for cleaning materials. He couldn't go to his room, Lee Know and Jisung were there. He couldn't go to the living room, Changbin and Hyunjin were there.
As his options were thinning the kitchen came to his mind...he could go there. He could tell Felix that he was hungry and was there for some leftovers to munch on quickly. He wasn't going to rush though, where would he go to after? He didn't want to clean anywhere else.
He expected Felix to question him as soon as he came into the kitchen but the young Aussie was nowhere to be seen. "That works too," he thought.
Seungmin took advantage of the situation and decided to fill his tummy while he was there. He opened the fridge and took the first plastic container he found, he didn't really care what he got he just wanted something to occupy his mind on.
Before he could close the door a container with a blue cap caught his eye. What was that doing hiding back there? He moved everything aside and reached for it, pulling it out and opening it he saw sweet tiny brown cakes in it...Felix made brownies. Joy overflowed his system at his discovery, it had been a while since he ate anything sugary, anything made by Felix in that matter. He was so glad that he found them, did they not invite him to eat them or...
"It's whatever," he thought while grabbing one and taking a bite out of it. Wow. As amazing as ever, Felix really knew his way to making great things. Soon he found himself eating handfuls, not planning to stop until he felt repulsed when he saw them.
Felix had gone to check on the others given that he had finished his tasks already, he cleaned the counters, organized, and baked; but after offering to help and being declined because everybody was almost done with their tasks he returned to the kitchen.
What he saw left him frozen.
Seungmin had eaten one of his brownie-filled containers. Seungmin. Ate. The. Brownies.
"Don't touch that!" Felix screeched "WHY DID YOU EAT SO MANY?!"
The ruckus caught the attention of the other members making them quickly rush to the kitchen.
"I just took three!!"
"Guys, come on don't fight. What's going on?" Changbin irked "We can talk about this."
"Three thousand!!"
"Yeah, Changbin's right. Let's just sit down and talk" Jisung added.
"Who cares if I ate them? You can just make more!"
"Not on time Seungmin!! If you actually thought for a second and asked yourself why they were hidden I wouldn't have to waste time! ...I guess you don't know what being busy is like."
"I don't care about your stupid time!" anger boiled inside Seungmin, they thought he was always slacking off. They didn't think he put effort into things, they didn't believe in him. His thoughts were cloudy and without thinking he pushed Felix hard, his head colliding with the wall.
Right after that, the joy Seungmin once felt from eating the brownies turned into sadness and nausea. His anger calmed and regret replaced it, it was the stupidest fight he'd ever had. Sure, Felix screamed at him first but he let the situation escalate and made it worse.
Felix felt pressure in his head from the hit he'd received, it hurt and it made him start crying from stress.
It all went from tears to full-on pained sobs. His head was pounding and it all felt overwhelming, he didn't understand what was going on. Where was he? Why did he fall? When did he fall? What happened again? Who was he?
"Calm down, everything's alright." Minho crouched to his level and held him close trying to comfort him.
Seungmin was quick to apologize "Lix...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I don't know why I took this so far! I didn't want to get in trouble and I took it out on you. Lix-"
"Not now, ok? I don't even think he's in the right mind space to understand you." Minho interjected. He felt bad about interrupting Seungmin's apology but he was being a bit too loud and that's not what Felix needed at the moment.
After several minutes had passed and the youngest hadn't calmed down. The boys started to get worried. "Lix, are you ok? Does something hurt?"
At this point, Felix couldn't physically get himself to talk falling into a daze he couldn't get himself out of. He just cried, his only way of communicating his pain.
"It's okay, don't cry Felix. You're all right"
Suddenly, Minho felt the younger slowly start to tense in his arms, a slight panic started to creep up his spine at the thought of his friend's epilepsy being triggered once again. Flashbacks of his past episodes flooded his mind but he quickly pushed them aside getting ready to assist Felix.
"You're all right" he reassured, "this will pass and you'll be ok."
Truth be told, Minho felt scared for his friend but he couldn't tell him that. He had to be calm, he had dealt with this before. It wasn't anything new.
"Seungmin, can you hand me that" the eldest pointed to a burgundy cushion that sat close by but slightly out of his reach. Seungmin rushed to get it, handing it to his hyung. "Hyunjin can you bring a cup of water please"
Soon Felix's body started to jerk around, his expression blank as if he weren't there. Physically nor mentally. Since they were close to the wall he had hit his head on, his limbs collided with the hard surface, loud banging noises were heard around the dorm, Felix's ragged breathing accompanying it.
The others knew they couldn't move him while the seizure was in process so they made a cushion barrier between him and the wall.
"Hyung, will he be ok? It's been long since his last seizure, this is bad."
The eldest shushed him "Don't scare him". Seungmin understood and was quick to toss his question aside not wanting to make the situation worse.
The seizure lasted no more than two minutes but to the boys, it felt like long agonizing hours, and to Felix's body, it seemed to have lasted more than necessary leaving his whole being sore. It all left an uncomfortable feeling similar to when you wake up, your face slightly sweaty from the night and not being able to wash up. Not being able to get up and soothe yourself, your eyes sticky.
They sent a message to Bang Chan telling him what had happened and asking if they should take Felix to the hospital. They weren't sure if his head hit the wall, too shocked when it happened to know precisely, so they didn't know if a hospital visit was needed.
Eventually, Felix slowly opened his eyes groaning in pain, his head hurt and his muscles felt sore.
"Hey Lix" Lee Know reassured, "you had a seizure but you're ok."
Felix heard but couldn't answer, not moving an inch.
~~
The dorm was quiet, everyone was extremely worried about their band mate's health. No one dared to talk too involved in their own thoughts, it was so quiet that they could hear each other think.
The leader and maknae had returned no longer after receiving the text of Felix's condition and they got there just in time to see Hyunjin going to the room with him probably to take him to rest. The others told them what happened.
Seungmin didn't get scolded badly, he was just told to be more careful the next time. It wasn't like he intended to make the youngest Aussie ill.
It was around dinner time that they saw Felix again, Hyunjin had insisted on him staying in bed but he refused, not wanting to think too much. He was extremely tired and he would be lying if he said he didn't feel weird. The uncomfortable feeling inside him hadn't faded with sleep and he was starting to get worried. He was stressed.
"Lix" Lee Know stated "don't stress yourself out"
Felix looked at him, they knew him well.
"I'm sorry Felix" Seungmin started "I'm sorry for eating your brownies and for pushing you. I took it too far."
Felix didn't hold any grudges if he was going to be entirely honest...he didn't remember what happened in detail. What happened again? Feeling too shaken and emotional he could only assure Seungmin that it was alright hugging him.
The others kept an eye on him the entire meal, unease filled their eyes, tears filled Felix's. He stood up telling the others that he felt too tired to be there, Hyunjin shot him a knowing look, but it didn't take him more than two steps for him to feel disorientated. The first one to catch on was Jisung making him stand up and head to Felix's side. He tried to move the blond Aussie but he didn't want to move, he felt the upcoming seizure, he knew his body. Felix held onto both of Jisung's shoulders and tried to lower himself to the ground.
Felix started to get restless, constantly blinking and his breathing unsteady. Panic wasn't a common side effect of his episodes, he was constantly calmer than most people with epilepsy and that was something the doctors praised him for, but now was different. He started shaking while whimpering, his chest contracting with his eyes wide open as he looked around. His posture turned stiff and his toes curled uncomfortably trying to relieve himself in some way.
His body tensed more and Jisung moved him to lay down. "Ok," Jisung said to himself "guys" Felix wasn't ok. He was having a flare-up, his body wasn't coping and it didn't seem to want to calm down anytime soon.
Felix let out a series of painful sounding grunts, they were struggling to get out and his breathing wasn't doing any better either. His body was screaming, everything hurt and he didn't feel right.
The stiffness let him go after some seconds, this seizure lasting less than the one he had earlier but not hurting any less. Felix knew he had a seizure but there was something different from what he normally felt. He was only left looking at the ceiling too shocked at what was happening.
"Lix, hey Lix. Can you hear me?" Tears started slowly pouring out of Felix's eyes but his face didn't change out of his blank expression too tired to do anything. "It's ok, don't worry. You're ok."
"Let's go to the hospital," the leader said "Felix has been seizure-free for a year and now suddenly they start again. Something's happening."
"But" the youngest of the group interjected nervously hoping for all of this to just be a nightmare "it could happen for no reason, he does have epilepsy."
"I know but, even when his episodes were frequent he never had more than one seizure on the same day."
They all grew quiet thinking about it for a while the wheels in their heads turning. Why was this happening again? They had faith in Felix's condition, the days passed and they didn't have to worry as much. Just one fight was all it took to set the episodes on again. Seungmin felt the same guilt feelings he had earlier rise within him again, this was all his fault. He hurt his friend, he did something to him and now his health was going downhill fast. He had to do something about it, to help.
Seungmin walked towards Felix and gently touched his shoulders "Lix are you ready to go? Let's get you better." Just as Seungmin was about to help him up Felix's body jolted in surprise choking on something.
He coughed and bile went shooting out of his mouth only for gravity to make it come right back down and land on his face. He kept coughing it up, the thick substance running down the sides of his face; down his cheeks.
The others were quick to act, watching their friend struggle to get the puke out and breathe, the scene flicked a switch in their heads. "Oh no" Chan hurried to pull Felix to his side "call an ambulance"
Shock.
Silence.
"Call an ambulance now!!" and so they did, startled at their leader's outburst. Never had he screamed like that, he barely ever lost his composure. He was alarmed "I'm sorry."
Puke poured out of the Aussie's mouth, his body slightly curling forward as he roughly coughed and gasped brokenly. Once he was breathing normally again Jeongin crouched down and stroked his back "the ambulance is coming" but the only response he got was Felix's body shivering out of shock.
No more than 10 minutes later a paramedic was knocking on their dorm room and after checking the situation they took Felix to the nearest hospital.
~~
After several tests were done Stray Kids were told by the doctors that Felix had a 'traumatic brain injury', they deducted that he had it when he was pushed and that's what caused his episodes to come back again. The damage caused to his brain couldn't be reversed but with treatment, he would get better, and luckily, he wouldn't have long-term effects. He needed lots of rest, his schedules were cleared for the time being and a hiatus for him was announced so he could have time for his appointments and to heal. Physically and mentally.
You could say that every one of the members, including Felix, were more thoughtful of what they got upset about.
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12/20/2021
12/30/2021 re-upload