Names. I was never good with names, I would watch people work in Amity and see them everyday, I could tell you who worked where, but I couldn't tell you a single letter of their name. This scared me. 'Will' was a name I woke up with.
It slowly left my lips as the feeling of it made me want to fall. Whenever I closed my eyes I could see his face that had been stained red from blood. I knew it was Tris that shot him, she never told me but she couldn't lie to save her life. She didn't try to lie to me anymore, that is probably why our relationship will never be the same.
I look out the doors of the train as it ran across the tracks, jumping every now and again. Tobias crouched and placed his hand on my shoulder but I didn't pay attention. It was a nice gesture of comfort, but I didn't need it. I wasn't grieving Will, not like I was when I saw him. I just never wanted to say his name again or be in a conversation where he was mentioned. Grieving wasn't a thing to me, dying is normal, but it wasn't something I thought I would see at sixteen.
An hour had passed since...whatever this mess was and pressure wouldn't stop building in my chest. I wouldn't be able to breathe soon, but I kept staring outside, looking for something to distract me.
"Y/n," Tobias leaned over and tried to look at me. "Come on." I look over at him. I saw blue eyes that looked at me worriedly. "We need to jump." Jump. I was first told that when I had chosen Dauntless, I had to jump off of a train onto a roof. I look back out the door and realise why I couldn't find anything to distract me, it was too dark. It was light a minute ago. But we must be getting close to the fence if we are to jump.
Tobias helps me to my feet and takes me to the doorway. Nothing that has just happened in the past hour was normal, but returning to Amity was the hardest thing I will be doing today. I watch as people jump off, Peter, Marcus then Caleb. I feel Tobias about to take my hand before I jump off of the train. He follows a few moments after.
I ignore everyone else as I stand up and brush off my jeans. I observe my surroundings. We were several yards away from the Amity roads that the trucks use. I start feeling sick to my stomach when I realise I used to ride those trucks everyday. Someone places a hand on my shoulder and I turn to see Tris. "Are you okay?" I shrug.
"Do I get to be not?" People had lost much more than I had today, but I couldn't tell if the world was crushing my shoulders, I couldn't feel anything. It reminded me of Al, and I didn't want to go that far back. I look up at the fence.
"There are supposed to be Dauntless guards here," says Marcus. "Where are they?"
"Everyone was affected by the simulation, apologies if most of us don't want to go back to our jobs quite yet." I sneered. Marcus wasn't somebody I was going to be polite to, he's not government anymore. The simulation seemed so surreal, the hard drive in my pocket was the only thing reminding me it was real. I didn't stick around to watch the aftermath, jobs for Dauntless probably weren't a thing anymore, unless you chose to join Erudite.
Tobias walks over to a small box on the side of the gate and opened it. Dauntless worked the gate and fence, I never really questioned how they keep people out. "Let's hope Erudite didn't change the combination." He punches in numbers, ending on the eighth one and smiling slightly when it clicked open.
"How did you know that?" Caleb asked. He was another one I didn't trust fully, he turned from his family for someone they hated. I done the same, but I don't trust myself with most either.
"I worked in the Dauntless control room, monitoring the security system. We only changed the codes twice a year."
"How lucky." Caleb looked weary.
"Luck has nothing to do with it, I only worked there because I wanted to make sure I could get out." There was something about Tobias talking about 'getting out'. He talked as if we were trapped, in some way we are, but that would mean everything is locked to us. Nothing is ever truly locked.
We walked in a small group, Peter cradled his still bleeding arm, Marcus had his hand on Peter's shoulder, Caleb cried (probably from hitting his shin earlier), Tris took the front and became leader as Tobias and I walked behind her. Tris had never really been to Amity before, so it made me wonder why she would lead when I knew where we should be going. Then again, Amity buildings aren't subtle.
Small areas of light guide us towards Amity headquarters, then square pieces of light, then giant windows. I look at it with a bored look. "Natural light, the remedy to every situation." I recited something I had been told multiple times before, slightly chuckling at it now.
"What was that?" I look at Peter and shake my head.
"Amity bullshit." I stuff my hands into my pockets and begin to walk faster, wanting to get there quicker so hopefully I can leave quicker. I look at the small group, they all needed to be here, I couldn't be selfish and get myself thrown out. My head burned as I tried to reason with myself, I shouldn't need to make big decisions for myself based on everyone else, but I don't know how that would affect them.
When did I start caring about that?
We begin to walk through an orchard and I kick at sour apples that had recently fallen. My feet begin to sink into the grass, it felt weird not to have solid concrete under my shoe. When we get closer, Marcus leaves Peter's side and goes to the front. "I know where to go," he says. Tris looks over her shoulder and towards me, I shrug. I don't want to admit how well I know this place.
He led us to the second building on the left, we passed identical greenhouses that I didn't bother to look at. Everything was always made of dark wood that was unpainted and was rough, the greenhouses weren't but they weren't much different. Laughter begins to ring out and I slowly feel myself shrink into my jacket.
After everything that has happened, Marcus opening the doors and walking in was surprising to me. Amity never had security before, I don't know why I thought they would now. Trust and stupidity worked well together. Our shoes squeaked against the floor as we followed Marcus to an open room.
Johanna Reyes stared out of a window. I would never be able to forget her face, it was scarred into my mind. I felt my chest clench as I started to find it hard to breathe. I clench my jaw as she begins to speak. "Oh thank God." She spots Marcus and smiles. Her arms are open as she walks towards him and places her hands on his shoulders. Abnegation weren't big on touching, Amity were the complete opposite. "The other members of your party got here a few hours ago, but they weren't sure if you had made it." She was probably talking about the group of Abnegation Tris told me about on the train. Her eyes swept over all of us and landed on me.
We both stared at each other before I waved. "Hey, Johanna." She smiled and clasped her hands together. I tried not to glare at the smile that never reached her eyes.
"Y/n, I'm so glad you are okay." She edges me on to say something, but I continue to stare before looking away and out of a window. She sighs and gasps slightly, probably noticing Peter's arm. "I'll send for a doctor. I can grant you all permission to stay the night, but tomorrow, our community must decide together, and-" She stops and eyes me, Tris and Tobias. "They will likely not be enthusiastic about a Dauntless presence in our compound."
"But they are fine with Erudite who attack people in every new page written." I say. I continue to look out the window as I see Johanna watch me from the corner of my eye. I look back at her and smile.
"I, of course, ask that you hand over any weapons you have." I had swapped out my tight shirt for a baggy one on the train. There was spare clothing in every carriage, mostly for the Dauntless since it was all black. I stop myself from touching my gun that is tucked into the back of my jeans. Tobias hands his over and so does Tris. Anyone else hands over theirs as Tobias grasps my hand. Johanna looks over at me expectantly.
"I lost mine after waking up from the simulation." Johanna didn't know that I was divergent to my knowledge, and I was going to use that to my advantage.
"Lost?" Johanna liked to pretend that she knew when I was lying, she never did.
"Left. I was stuck in a killing simulation, my gun suddenly didn't sit right in my hands. I'm sure you understand." She stared at me for a moment before smiling and mumbling, 'of course'. It probably would have made me feel better to hand over my burden and admit I didn't need protection, but I couldn't.
"My name is Johanna Reyes," she shakes Tris and Tobias' hands. A Dauntless greeting. Amity had always been considerate of other factions, but that will only last till Erudite inevitably turn against them as well.
"This is T-" Marcus goes to answer Johanna for Tobias, a farther introducing a son, but Tobias cuts him off.
"My name is Four. This is Tris, Caleb and Peter." Four gave me a part of him when he told me his name, it was something that bound him to Marcus. I can't blame him for not wanting to use it in front of him.
"Welcome to the Amity compound, let us take care of you." I wish I stayed away from here.
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I watch as everyone gets looked after by Amity, I continue to reject anything to help with my rib or shot to the side. The pain made me think the bullet had went through me, but I was lucky enough for it to just be a graze. I look at the redness and dried blood, and the small indent to my side that showed clear lack of skin.
We get led to the cafeteria as Tris notices people from her safe house. Tris and Marcus are greeted with tears and smiles. We all sit at the table when a cup is pushed under my nose by an Abnegation. "Drink this. It will help you sleep as it helped some of the others sleep. No dreams." I push it away, watching as everyone else drank it.
"I know what it is." I sit my chin onto the table as everyone who drank it, get led to their rooms for a good nights sleep.
"Are you sure?" I look back at the Abnegation and hold back a sneer. I stand up and walk along to my room. I had only been in this room a few times, but it was just as I had left it. With nothing but a bed, chest-of-drawers and a lamp.
"Home sweet home." I lay down on the bed with my arm above my head. Slowly falling asleep to the smell of lavender. I look at the pillows and wipe my hands across them before bringing it back towards my face. The smell of lavender was strong, enough to hurt my eyes. I sigh and lay down on the floor instead.
I never liked the smell of lavender it was too overpowering, especially in a faction covered with flowers. I close my eyes and use my arm as a pillow.
2068 Words.