At home, Austin helps Marli carry bags to the room. She had left her phone on charge and sees she has three missed calls from Lou. "You should call her," Austin says. Marli holds her phone to her chest. "You should not snoop over other people's shoulders," she shoots back playfully. Austin sticks out his tongue at her and then starts walking backwards to the door. "I am going to start dinner. Steak and salad good?" he asks. Marli nods. Wait what? Austin cooking? She must have heard wrong or something. Marli unpacks the clothing from today and makes a mental note that she has to go back to New York and pack up her apartment. Also, she needs to quit her job - she will call them in the morning. When she is done she chances a quick shower and goes looking for Austin. She can hear music and the smell of food coming from the kitchen so follows her ears and nose. She steps in and then is frozen in place at the sight before her. Austin is dancing around the kitchen. He is dressed in an apron that says, 'Kiss The Cook', while frying steak and making a salad. He looks up at her when he finally senses her presence. "Hello, lil mama. Please grab the garlic bread out of the oven. You can put it on this board here and then take a seat at the island, we will eat in the kitchen," he says turning back to fuss over his steaks. All three digs lying on the kitchen floor like this is a normal evening.
Marli does as Austin requests all while keeping a shocked eye on him. He finishes off the salad and plops it next to the garlic bread. When he is happy with the Steak he plates them and puts a plate in front of Marli and one in front of the other chair then turns down the music. "Serve your salad. What do you want to drink? I have water, tea, coffee, orange or apple juice," he says smiling at her. Marli is still looking at him like he has two heads. "Um...orange juice please," she manages to get out. Austin ignores her staring, pouring her and himself a glass each, and sits down. He pushes the salad bowl to her and gestures for her to serve. She does and then takes a few cautious bites. "Austin, this is amazing!" Marli says with a full mouth of steak, salad, and a little garlic bread. "Can you not talk with your mouth full of food, please? And thank you, June has been teaching me," Austin says proudly. Marli swallows her food and then fills her mouth with food again.
"What? This? You don't like when I do this?"
"You're a child."
"Thank you."
"That was not a compliment, lil mama."
Marli chuckles into another bit of steak. It really is good. "Who is June?" she asks. Austin rolls his eyes at her. "My chef," he says like she should know. Marli swallows her mouthful. "What happened to Charlie?" she asks. Austin frowns at her and then it looks like he registers something. "I forget sometimes that you have been away for so long. Charlie stopped working for me when I was in rehab. He had always wanted to open his own restaurant in LA and with me away it was there a perfect opportunity for him to take the leap. It's amazing. We should go sometime. June is my new chef. She's cool," he explains. So much has changed and Marli feels a little sad that she was not around for the changes. She would give anything to have had the chance to be part of Austin's life in the last two years. But the way Austin smiles at her now with his eyes so bright and his skin glowing - she knows she would have sold her soul to get him to this space and so if that meant giving up a little time with him, she is ok with that. After they finish their dinner, Austin leads her to the music room. He stops them in the hall outside the music room door.
"Now close your eyes, don't open them till I say ok."
Marli nods and closes her eyes. She hears Austin open the door and then he leads her a few steps into the music room. She hears some shuffling and then Austin tells her to open her eyes. There are poorly hung Christmas lights draped around the room and some are wrapped around the odd musical instrument too. She ignores the box marked 'Christmas shit' that's not so well hidden behind a row of guitars. Rose petals that look a bit crushed from being stood on are strewn around the floor along with some green leaves. Austin is standing in front of her with the grand piano behind him. He has his white Stetson on and is holding a piece of paper. Marli goes to say something, but Austin holds up his finger to stop her. "Hush. I am being real romantic here, this is a declaration. I am going to ask you to be my girlfriend," he says. Marli giggles a little and gestures for Austin to continue.
"Right, ok then. I wrote you a poem...Roses are red, violets are blue-"
"Oh, my-"
"I think you're hot, will you be my girlfriend?"
"That was terrible," Marli says trying to keep a straight face. "Oh, Shut up. So, what do you say? Wanna be my girlfriend?" Austin asks and Marli sighs. "I just don't know really. I am pretty high maintenance. I was expecting fireworks, a marching band maybe, oh! What about belly dancers!" she says playfully. Austin bites back a smile and rolls his eyes at her. "Come here," he says. She walks over to Austin, he picks her up and places her on the piano. Then picks up his guitar and stands in front of her with one leg hitched up on a chair. "I don't have any of that bullshit. But I do have this..." Austin says then starts singing as he strums softly. The song is pretty simple, it's a declaration and the message is very clear - of all the women in the world it's her he wants to be with, it's her that he will love for a lifetime. By the time he finishes the song, she can barely contain her smile. She is beaming, any girl would if she had just been sung a song like that. She reaches out and pulls him to her then kisses him. It’s slow and gentle, this kiss, and Marli melts into it. Austin does not break the kiss, but he manages to discard his guitar and steps closer to Marli, she responds by wrapping her legs around his waist. She has butterflies in her tummy and she is so very, very much in love with this man.
"I wrote that on the plane ride over here. It's not finished. But it's yours."
"Thank you. I love you."
"I love you too, so will you be my girlfriend now?"
Marli snorts. "Yes, I will be your girlfriend."
"Good."
~
Later that evening they are in the cave, the three dogs in their beds munching on a doggie treat each. Austin lying across the couch on his back with Marli between his legs with her head on his belly, they are sharing one of the candy bars. Austin's phone rings.
"Hey man...yeah…two moments, but they were yellow so all good...yeah she is…yeah…yeah...ok be here around 2…love you too man…bye."
Marli lifts her head and looks at Austin, he holds up his phone and jiggles it in his hand.
"That was Jonas. He phones every night to see how I did with my cravings. I had two today. One in the Gucci store and one just before dinner. I have a system - Red, it's too much for me. I have to phone my sponsor. Orange, I have to actively find something to get my mind unstuck. Yellow, when the thought of having a drink or hit makes me a little agitated. Green, it's all good in the hood. He also wanted to know if you were here and if everything worked out with us," Austin explains.
"How often are you red?"
"Every so often. Three weeks ago was my last red."
"And Orange?"
"About once a week."
"Yellow?"
"Daily."
"What about green?"
"More than all the other colors."
There is so much Marli does not know. So much she has to learn. She puts her head back on Austin's belly. She can see the photos from where she is laying down. "Tell me about those people in the photos," she says. Austin starts running his fingers through her hair. "OK. The first top left photo with the cake that says 365 is my one-year sober celebration the people in there are from my support group, Henry, James, Trish, Emily, and Paul. The photo next to it, that cutie is Ella, you met her. That little boy is Nathan...Jonas' son, my godson. I wasn't able to meet him till he was 6 months old, he is a year old now," Aust says. Marli snaps her head up looking at Austin, she wants to cry. She has missed so much. She blinks back her tears and swallows. "Don't do that, lil mama, please. Some things in our story are not nice like neither of us being around when Nathan was born. But our story is going to be long, so there will be many more moments to experience together. Ok?" Austin says. Marli nods then puts her head back down and Austin starts to explain each picture, he has a lot of good wholesome friends and experiences now. His life currently is so far removed from what it was two years ago. Marli is really happy he has been able to pull himself out of the hole he was falling down, she is very proud of this man. Her man. "What made you decide to go to rehab?" Marli asks suddenly. Austin's hand stills and he takes a deep breath. He is quiet for so long that Marli thinks he has either fallen asleep or is choosing not to tell her. "Tub?" he suggests eventually.
While Marli is busy running the bath, Austin disappears and then comes back into the bathroom just as the bath has filled and Marli is busy climbing in, he undresses and follows suit. The bath is lovely and warm so Marli leans back onto Austin's chest while he wraps his arms around her. She is not going to force him to talk to her, he will do so in his own time. After a few minutes Austin opens his mouth and starts talking, his speech is soft and vulnerability is laced through every word.
"I was at this party in the Hills. I don't know whose party it was or how I got there all I know was that I had a bottle of tequila, in one hand, a faceless woman in the other, and a pocket full of pills. I had also done so much coke that night I couldn't get my nose to stop bleeding. At some point that night a girl started screaming so I walked over to her, she had her back to me but a guy was lying there...blue and lifeless. It was clear that he had overdosed on something. He was dead. The girl was crying over him asking people to call 911. When she turned her head in my direction...it was you, at least it was your face I saw. The fear and pain mangled in her beautiful features were too much so I left the party as the ambulance arrived. I booked myself into rehab, but only lasted a week. I went on another bender trying to get your face out of my head but the more I drank the more I saw you. In my drunken stupor one night I phoned Jonas. He told me that he could not be around me, but that he loved me. He also told me he had met a girl and she was pregnant with his kid. He was happy. I just got to thinking. I wanted that…a family, a real one. I wanted that with you. I didn't want to be alone anymore. So I came here, I came home. But you were not here and the feeling of home and family did not resonate within these walls anymore. I could not stand being in this house so I went to New York, to the house there. I thought it would make it easier being in the same city as you. It did not. I only felt worse. Then one day Jonas just pitched up, I didn't even know he had the address. But I was so fucking broken that I just…I just booked back into rehab and now I am here. With you. I feel like I won."
Marli turns around so she is now facing Austin and wipes the tears from her eyes and then from Austin's. She rests her head on his chest while he runs his fingers lazily up and down her spine, they are silent, both trying to let the moment and information shared settle. Both have guilt and for different reasons, information shared like this needs time to sink in and then evaporate. The water is cold by the time Marli detaches herself from Austin. "Bedtime," she says. She tries to keep her voice soft so as not to break the comforting silence too much. They shuffle off to the room after drying themselves, Marli notices Austin's guitar resting on the end of the bed and turns to him with a questioning look. His smile is sheepish as he goes to pick it up. "I wrote another song. I was sober and was finally man enough to stop lying to myself," he gestures for her to sit down on the bed. "It's hard to look back. To put into words who I was. What I did…to you...to me. I struggled and my therapists suggested I communicate in a way that works for me. Through song. I wrote this one. It's not released yet, I feel pretty exposed through it. It's about you…and me…about you and me. I wanted you to hear it first," he explains.
Marli feels like her chest is going to explode, she bites her lip and nods for Austin to go ahead. He looks at her for a beat. "Have you heard my song...the one I wrote just after you left me?" he asks. She nods, she knows exactly which song he is talking about. It made her cry and convinced her that Austin hated her. "It's about you, about you leaving. I wrote it when I was drunk and high. Like I did when I wrote that song about Jonas. Both songs are lies. This was the song I should have written." He then brings the guitar up to his lap and starts strumming the first cords and mumbling to himself, "I've been looking for some-" he is lost in the song already, and when he starts. Marli battles to catch her breath while he is singing. She knows exactly what he is referencing. She remembers the night and her words, she remembers his words too. She has had nightmares about it. The anger and callousness in his eyes are burned into her brain. He had lost Jonas that night and himself too. But his song, this song seems to wash some of the nasty away. It's a vulnerable song. How does she acknowledge this? She is not sure so when he finishes and is looking at her a little unsure she leans forward and kisses him, whispering against his lips, "I think you are the bravest man in the world Austin Post." Austin shivers at her words. The room is too intense, she needs to break the intensity a bit so she licks the tip of his nose. "Go put your string box thing away and let's sleep," she says. Austin is already pulling away looking at her in disgust wiping his nose and then biting back his smile.
While he is in the music room putting his guitar away Marli gets all the dogs into the bed and then climbs in herself. "Oh, not this shit again. Are you serious, lil mama?" he complains when he walks back into the room. Marli opens the covers for him to climb in. "Stop your bitching, there is space for everyone in this family," she says. Austin climbs in grumbling about spoiled dogs and a woman who is a pain in his ass. Once settled and the quiet starts seeping in on them Marli says quietly, "I love you." Austin pulls her in closer and kisses her before they both fall asleep.