All of the guys have been acting so weird lately, as in even weirder than usual.
Like lifeless zombies who occasionally get their attention draw by baited occurrences. Mark and Leo have been especially on edge today Mark even cursed at a girl who he felt was staring for too long in his direction. Cameron and Noah have been so distant towards everyone, I don't even think I saw Cameron flirt with anyone and Noah has barely spoken a word to me, which of course has left me feeling miserable. I count on him to brighten my day with his kind words of encouragement and support, but if he doesn't say anything I'm left feeling empty.
Jamie. I don't know if it's because I pay the most attention to him or if he actually acted the most out of character. Yes, he usually is very reserved at school. He only talks to the guys, rarely ever me. But today he seemed like he was just floating around, like a ghost. He didn't talk at all and I didn't see him do any work. Some students managed to place gifts, ranging from flowers to stuffed toys to various sweets on and around his desk before he arrived in class. He of course didn't accept them, and instead cleared them out of the way so that he could put his head down. Then, once class was over he left them behind. He wasn't at lunch, and I'm not even sure if he's going to be after school today.
I could tell I wasn't the only one who was affected by the guys's gloomy attitudes. Some students, who I distinctly remember as being hardcore fans of the five guys, were moping around school. I heard more girls crying in the restroom than usual, sometimes the pressure of attending this school becomes too much but even on exam days I don't hear as many as I heard today. I even saw some people crying in public, like in the middle of class.
I could literally feel the gap between myself and every other student here as I remained completely oblivious. I care like all of the Wellsworth students but I don't understand anything just like all of the ex-Lee students. More often than not I find myself floating around in the middle, unable to stick to one particular side.
"Just leave, you worthless bastard!"
"You don't deserve to be here!"
"You should just go ahead and join those leeches from the other high school."
"Who are you again, bankruptcy boy?"
"You're such a waist of space."
I hear these cruel words followed by grunts as I turn on my heel. I'm shocked. What I see makes me want to throw up and/or scream. One guy is on the ground and four other guys are stomping on him. One of the attackers catches sight of me and runs away immediately. The others follow.
I never knew I was so threatening, or they were all just scared of me remembering their faces. Nonetheless I go over to the beaten boy curled up in a ball. His bruises are already forming, I try not to think of what Stephen must've looked like or what he still probably looks like. This is my chance to make up for what I acted powerless to stop before.
I reach in the back of my backpack and pull out a box of band aids. I can't really move around how I'd like because I know I won't be able to get back up on my own, and the guy on the ground doesn't look like he can stand either. Though I don't have to wear crutches anymore my ankle still hasn't healed all of the way and I now have to wear a soft cast as well as a boot.
Oddly enough, the stranger uncurls from his earlier position and quickly sits up straight, giving me a perfect smile.
"Hey Rose."
"You know my name?" I'm so surprised he was able to bounce back from that so quickly, that I'm asking stupid questions.
"Of course I do." He shifts a bit, so that he's not as sprawled out on the floor. "You know, you shouldn't be helping me."
"Of course I should!" I exclaim. "I'm really sorry this just happened to you. Those guys were meanies, and cowards for ganging up on you! No one deserves to be treated like that."
"You don't even know me, yet you're still probably the nicest person I've ever met."
I smile slightly. "Thank you." My smile fades as I realize he's probably in pain and like he said I don't even know him. "Sorry, what's your name?"
"Kyle Fletcher, Ms. Rosalina Sullivan."
Oh. His family went bankrupt, he lost everything. Yet people are still bullying him. That's horrible! I'll never understand how people can be so cruel and unsympathetic. How could anyone kick someone who's already down? I would say I can't imagine it, but I've literally just witnessed it and now I'm probably going to be scared for life. Speaking of scars..
"Can you stand? I know someone who can help you."
•••
"What the hell? Rose are you serious?" Leo sends eye daggers my way as I walk through the door with Kyle.
Each of the guys stare at us. Kyle noticeably tenses up from beside me.
"What is this a charity house?" Mark laughs coldly.
"He's hurt. I was hoping Jamie could-" I stop talking as Jamie walks past me and leaves.
I don't understand why everyone is being so abrasive. He's obviously hurt!
"Sorry, I shouldn't have let you take me here. I wish I would've known." With that Kyle leaves as well.
That didn't go as planned, at all. I thought the guys would be able to show a bit of compassion and maybe at least introduce themselves to Kyle before he left. I'm completely at a loss for words when it comes to these boys, I don't know why I thought I could predict something when it came to them anyway.
"What is wrong with you? Can't you tell that he needs help?"
"What's wrong with you? Can't you tell that there's a reason why no one wants to help him?" Leo attempts to mock my tone but since his voice is already high pitched, it doesn't make much of a difference.
Cameron laughs briefly before continuing."Yeah, Rose you should know by now. Are you really that clueless?"
I don't respond, I guess I am.
Leo groans loudly. "Ugh, I hate that guy! He can go suck a dick."
"He can suck my dick."
"What?!"
"What?"
Cameron's vulgarity oddly lightens the mood, as I presume it was meant to.
I want to run after Kyle and Jamie but it's my turn to pick a dare and I know that the guys won't let me leave. I take the lead and pull a dare, assuming that Noah already has.
•••
I managed to sneak away from the guys. Cameron and Noah were busy playing video games, Mark was doing homework and Leo doesn't pay that much attention to me anyway so even if he did notice he didn't say anything.
I still have about an hour before it's time to leave for the bus, after I switched to this new cast I managed to convince Noah to let me use public transportation again. I loved going to school with him every morning but my health was at stake. His 12-meals-a-day diet may work for him but it certainly won't for me. If I spent another week with him I probably wouldn't even be able to fit on the bus anymore. And surprisingly enough the students who I ride the bus with don't bully me anymore. They don't even talk to me, so I really can't complain.
It's below freezing outside so I decide to go indoors to procrastinate. I hurry into the nearest building, the auditorium.
Immediately I'm welcomed by beauty, I hear the soft melodies of a violin. I open one of the large doors and realize it's my first time being in here when it's so empty.
There's no one in the hundreds of empty seats and no one standing in the rows. Only one person is on stage, Jamie. He looks like he belongs there as he plays the small instrument beautifully without the aid of a music sheet. From here I can see his eyes are closed but his brows are furrowed. I can't place the expression on his face but it looks pained.
I find myself drawing closer to him as his music fills the room. Then, it stops as a string snaps before curling up against the neck of the instrument. Jamie's eyes shoot open before he sits down, tossing his violin onto the stage floor. He sighs loudly just before spotting me. His facial expression doesn't change, not even as I run up to him on the stage. It doesn't take me long to notice his index finger is bleeding, since I notice everything else about him.
I sit down right in front of him before pulling out a band aid from my purse, these are really coming in handy today. His eyes meet with mine before he turns his head to look away. I pull out a disinfectant wipe and proceed to clean his finger. I take his hand and he doesn't pull it away or even flinch as the alcohol touches his wound. I look up at him to see he's still not looking at me. My eyes travel across his jawline and settle on his ears which are a bright red. Is he blushing there? Or is he just upset? I focus my attention back to his hand which I've been holding still for a while now. I pull out a band aid and wrap his finger securely.
"All better." I say smiling, he doesn't look. I get up and trash the disinfectant wipe before returning to where he's seated. I spot his violin case across the room and retrieve it before sitting down in front of him once again. I carefully place the now broken violin inside of its case, along with its matching wand, before closing it. Jamie's looking at me now and I stand up passing his violin to him. He doesn't take it so I just kind of awkwardly place it beside him. Now it's my turn to look away as he stares at me, except this time I know I'm blushing. He gets up and grabs his case walking past me. I follow him and soon we're both out of the auditorium.
It's snowing! He pauses looking up at the sky. The pained expression is back and I can't help but wonder what it is that's bothering him so much. I decide not to ask him and instead try to help him.
"It may look like it has engulfed everything but it's only temporary, for it will eventually melt away along with all of your problems" A cheesy quote I remember from my dad, of all people.
Jamie doesn't respond instead he walks off. I hurry and grab the small umbrella from inside of my book bag before letting it up. I catch up to him quickly, he is walking pretty slow especially for it to be this cold out. My umbrella is tiny and as we walk I have to keep looking up to make sure it's covering him completely. He notices this and suddenly grabs hold of the umbrella, placing it evenly between us. Now we're both holding onto it. His hands are a lot larger then mine though. The light blue power ranger band aid actually suits him really well.
We walk in silence and the snow continues to fall. I wonder if the bus will even come today. We appear in front of a white sports car, that I'm pretty sure is worth more than my house, and we stand there for a few more seconds before I let go of the umbrella. "Bye bye." I smile waving at him then turn around and begin my walk to the bus stop.
"Rosalina."
•••
I'm in Jamie's car. I'm in Jamie's car! He turns on the air conditioner and I warm my hands up in front of the vent. The seats are also heated! After a moment I realize we're not moving and after another moment I realize he's waiting for me to give him directions.
"Oh, keep straight." I say giggling.
He doesn't turn on the radio so except for the occasional direction I give him the car is completely yet comfortably silent. He hasn't spoken a word except for when he said my name earlier. I was so shocked I turned around and saw him opening the passenger seat door telling me to get in. I'm smiling just thinking about it. He looks at me and I realize I'm forgetting to tell him directions.
"Oh no, turn back around and take a left, sorry." This is going to be a long drive, but selfishly, I don't mind.
Finally we arrive in front of my house. I open the door to get out.
"Wait."
I turn around before catching my umbrella, miraculously, with two hands. "Thank you." I close the door before walking towards my porch. I turn around remembering to say goodbye, when he speeds off, too late.
I hurry inside for warmth and think about how different all of the guys are. Cameron came inside but Jamie just sped away. Noah sees me as a little sister and Leo sees me as a little boy. I kissed Jamie but Mark kissed me.
I change out of my uniform and into some cozy pajamas, well as cozy as they can be with a giant cast on my leg. Next, I pop a TV dinner into the microwave before tending to my ringing phone. My cheeks hurt from how wide I'm smiling after seeing that it's from Noah.
If Mark had deleted his number that day too, and if Jamie hadn't hugged me, I would have probably cried for a week. I still can't get over the fact that I can't do people's homework anymore. Earlier today I made it my mission to tell everyone that I was officially out of business, I managed to tell most of the students that I wouldn't be able to do it anymore but those who I didn't tell are still going to be depending on me.
I press 'Answer'
"Hey Rosey, what's up?"
All of this time I've known Noah, and I still don't know how to respond when he asks me that question. "Hi." Will that suffice?
"I was calling to make sure you made it home safely."
"Thank you." This is why I love Noah. He genuinely cares about me.
"No problem, I figured Jamie would drive you since you were with him."
"He did- wait how did you know I was with him?"
"You went after him didn't you?"
"Well.."
He laughs and I love the way his deep chuckle sounds over the phone. "Do you want to know what my dare was?"
"Sure."
"It was to adopt a pet."
"Aw" I could imagine Noah with a furry friend, he would probably be the most caring pet owner ever.
"I'm going to get a puppy I just don't know what breed yet."
"That's so cute!"
He laughs a bit again "I'm looking online, there all so adorable!"
The microwave beeps and I place my phone in the crook of my neck to tend to my dinner.
After a few minutes of eating and talking, I suddenly have a billion burning questions that I want to ask him. "Noah, I forgave you already and I trust you," I lead in.
He's completely silent on the other line.
"But there's something I still don't understand. Why did you do it?"
He stays silent for a long time and I'm suddenly getting extremely nervous.
"I've done a lot of things that I'm not proud of, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to add that to the list yet."
"So you don't regret it, not even a little?" I can't believe him right now.
"We said that we were going to stay by your side, we said that we were going to protect you. I said that, I promised. Yet when I saw you-" He's getting choked up and I'm suddenly regretting bringing this back to light. "You were hurt, badly, and there was nothing I could do about it because I wasn't there by your side, I was just too late. I'll do anything to make sure that that doesn't happen again. Though we should've been beating ourselves up about it we beat him up instead. As an act of revenge which was the only thing we could do. Try to understand."
I don't like what they did but I can't go back in time to change it. I was just saying that the guys who beat up Kyle were cowards, yet I don't view my friends the same way even though they did worse. Does that make me a hypocrite or an accomplice?
"Okay I have one more question."
Noah sighs on the other line.
"Why does everyone hate Kyle Fletcher?"
"You don't know? Um, his last name is Fletcher."
"So...?"
"That's why."
"What does his last name have to do with the way people treat him?"
"Everything! Your last name follows you everywhere you go, just like your company does, and just like everything your company has done good or bad. If your company is powerful then so are you and if it's weak then you can expect to be treated like shit on a daily bases."
"But that's not fair, you can't help what you were born into."
He's silent again but in the background I can hear him clicking, probably still looking at pictures of dogs. "Ya Rose, you think I don't know that? It doesn't matter if it's not fair there's nothing we can do about it."
"We could try being nice to him, since no one else is."
"Good luck with that, everyone will think you're at the bottom of the food chain just like him." His food reference is so like him.
"Why does it matter who I choose to hang out with?"
"Trust me, it matters. It's called networking."
"That's a thing?"
"Yup, haven't you taken Social Economics?"
"That's a class?"
He laughs again. "You're so cute. Okay let's not talk about anything else sad or confusing. You need to go to bed, or at least rest your ankle, okay?"
"Okay." I drag out.
"Bye bye, good night, sweet dreams!"
"Good night." I say before hanging up the phone.
On my way out of the kitchen I make a mistake and manage to turn on the TV.
"Today, October 31st 2014, marks the fourth anniversary of the death of-"
I quickly turn it back off. The news is always so saddening.