Every person on the Karasuno volleyball team played a part. Even the ones who didn't play often had a role. For Ennoshita his ways to keep the calm. Thats how it always was, and always would be.
Sometimes he would look at his team and wonder why they believed he deserved to be with them. What made him so special that they just adored him?
All of his insecurities and second guessing himself nearly ate him alive. He would portray himself as the bad guy, almost as if he was a monster. He didn't know how to handle the pressure of needing to be better.
Yes, y/n would always curb stomp these thoughts. But sometimes the ones that weren't about her didn't fade with her touch. This would be up to him and his team to solve.
He needed to learn how to love, not in a romantic sense but love himself way. A journey he would have to take alone. Yet she would sit there and support him from the sidelines as always. Even rescue him when needed.
He sees how his teammates faces would light up when they score a point. He knew how long it took them to get there. How many hours they spent practicing. But he did the same amount of time. How could he learn to love like them?
Tanaka and Asahi, he could never match their spike. Sugawara's sets? He couldn't dream of being that good. Noya's receives were just a dream to him. Practice. Practice. Practice. Improve. Improve. Improve. He needs to do better.
But why? What is the point? Why does he think he is bad? Why is he sure that's the truth?
He earned his spot on the team, while he may not receive a spotlight on the court that doesn't mean he is bad. The team still needs him.
The entire time he was comparing himself to others for no reason. He isn't them, he is Ennoshita. There is no reason to strive to be something you aren't.
He is the calm of the storm. The levelheaded player, and that is just fine.
Falling for someone else is easy but falling for yourself is hard. Learning to love can be one of the most complicated challenges we face. Its okay to not get it at first, no one ever does.
Thank you l/n, for helping me learn to love myself.