A few days later, in the night, Zhao Nanshu was not at home, and Xia Tingwan received a call from his agent Zhou Yang.
During this time, he has been deliberately avoiding Zhou Yang, and the phone and WeChat often do not want to return, but this is not always a solution.
"Late in the evening, have you been okay lately?"
Although it was a concern, Zhou Yang's tone was very light, and it was more or less with a bit of a greeting meaning of official business.
Although Xia Tingwan and Zhou Yang cooperated for many years, their relationship was far from being close to Zhao Nanshu, but Zhou Yang was introduced to Xia Tingwan by Xu
Zhe Xu
Zhe said to Xia Tingwan at that time, Zhou Yang is a person who has temper and ability, and listening to him will not make you suffer a big loss.
Xia Tingwan trusted Xu Zhe, so he also trusted Zhou Yang. It's just that he is a sensitive person, and he has always understood that in fact, Zhou Yang does not appreciate him much from a private point of view, so the two have not been close.
Zhou Yang is harsh and strong, and he really likes the star who tries to obey, not his uncontrollable and willful.
In the early years, when he was at his most popular, it was indeed the most dazzling brand in Zhou Yang's hand, but after getting married, he himself relaxed about his career, made some unwise decisions, and there were several negative news, and Zhou Yang's relationship with him became increasingly cold.
Zhou Yang is a bit like Su Yan in some ways for Xia Tingwan, they are all older and more powerful men, but Su Yan is deeper and more introverted, while Zhou Yang is sharp and sharp.
Xia Tingwan had respect for Zhou Yang and was somewhat in awe.
<
"okay."
Xia Tingwan knew that Zhou Yang had called mostly to talk about work, but he was not interested, so he did not introduce it to the conversation.
"The hospital called me and said you didn't do a scar repair this week, what's going on?"
Although Zhou Yang's tone still did not change, Xia Tingwan immediately noticed that he was not happy in his heart, he was silent for a while, and finally he honestly explained: "These days are really in a bad mood, I don't want to go out, so I didn't go."
After his car accident, Su Yan arranged him in Ren'ai Hospital, mainly dealing with fractures and multiple contusions on his body, as well as nursing care afterwards, and everything else was still in the back.
However, when Zhou Yang looked at Xia Tingwan's face at that time, he immediately booked him a laser scar repair course for the first time, and then basically asked Xia Ting to go back once a month.
As an agent, Zhou Yang's most concerned is of course Xia Tingwan's appearance, in the past few months, every time he talks to Xia Tingwan on the phone, he has to ask about the progress of scar recovery.
At this time, hearing Xia Tingwan's answer, Zhou Yang obviously couldn't suppress his anger: "Tingwan, I understand the problems you face emotionally, but you can't do
this. I broke up with Mr. Sue, but your life goes on. Your face is not only about your appearance, it is also your rice bowl, do you understand? Even if you go on time for every course of treatment and pay attention to your diet, the scar is doomed to disappear completely - how much it can fade, how much you can cover with cosmetics, whether it can be taken on camera can make the audience accept it, it depends on the fate. This matter is a devastating blow to any star, God only leaves you with a little space for yourself to work hard, you don't even know how to cherish? Do you feel you deserve yourself?
Zhou Yang rarely said such an unkind word, and Xia Tingwan just held the phone and listened, feeling fidgety.
"Also, in the past few months, first drunk driving, then divorce, the news around you has not been half positive, you look - look at what those weekly magazines and public accounts have written, see what public opinion about you has become." I asked you how do you plan to respond, you don't reply to WeChat, how long can you hide from me? Although I sent a public relations article on the matter of drunk driving, but you will attend the event later, a reporter asked you, what do you want to reply? How are you going to apologize to the public? Don't you even think about these questions? Or are you actually planning to quit the entertainment industry indefinitely?
Zhou Yang was obviously much more upset during this time, and simply poured out all the beans, and the extremely fast cross-examination made Xia Tingwan's fingers holding the mobile phone tremble nervously.
Zhou Yang asked so many questions, he couldn't answer a single one.
He never deals with anger, perhaps because when he thinks of the word anger, all that comes to mind is the slap raised by his childhood father, the heavy breathing of drunkenness, and the severe pain in his body, so even as an adult, it is difficult for him to control his anger, and when he is impulsive, he will do things that he regrets.
But on the contrary, if someone is angry with him, even if it is just a stranger, his brain will still be stuck for a moment, followed by reflexive fear and withdrawal.
In the past five years, Su Yan had hardly been angry with him, nor had he raised his voice to yell at him for half a word.
He almost forgot what it was like to face the anger of others, and Zhou Yang's repeated accusations made him overwhelmed.
"I'm sorry, Zhou Yang." Xia Ting's throat dried up in the evening, and after a pause for half a day, he finally stumbled and said, "I, I really didn't think about it that much." Speaking of which, he himself felt weak, as if he had raised a shield made of paper, and he was so vulnerable to the sharp spear of Zhou Yang.
"Yes, that's exactly what you've always had—late, you never wanted that
much."
Zhou Yang's anger did not dissipate at all, he said simply: "You are always pitiful and distressed, many times you have done something wrong, you just hide, but never think about the consequences, nor do you want to carry the responsibility you
deserve."
"After you got married, you were photographed drunk kissing male models, people all over the world are eating melons, how much effort we spent, how many press releases we bought, to help you wash this matter, even Mr. Su also lost his face while helping you explain to the media: it's all small things, not cheating."
If it weren't for that kissing door, do you think that now that you are divorced, there will be so many media to see you hilarious and write you so badly? "Isn't it the same now?" The wine you drank, the car you drove, the person you injured, you made a six-centimeter scar on your face, but in the end it was Mr. Su who helped you clean up the mess, the company was apologizing for the PR for you, I was anxious to let you do scar repair, but what about you? You yourself are in a bad mood and hide at home, don't care about anything, should this be? You're in your twenties, it's time to start thinking a little more, no matter how vulnerable you are at this time, how much you don't want to carry it, you have your responsibility - we all have it, life is fucking like this, grow up.
"Well, I still have something to do, wait for the appointment date to help you change your treatment, and think about it yourself."
Xia Tingwan was trained to have a blank mind, Zhou Yang's phone hung up for a long time, and he was still there holding the mobile phone in a daze.
In addition to the unbearable years of his childhood, he became popular as a young man, and then he was surrounded everywhere he went, and then he was pursued by Su Yan, married Su Yan, and lived in a fairy tale castle for five years.
He had never heard such a merciless accusation, and even felt that his face was burning with shame and
shame.
People are less receptive to their worst selves, just as when looking in the mirror, the eyes automatically correct those asymmetries, beautify those imperfections, and then make up a more beautiful appearance than the brain.
Xia Tingwan always knew that his personality was not too good, but he seemed to be quite passable, and even what Su Yan said after his divorce did not tell him so bluntly - "You are very
bad."
But today, Zhou Yang didn't give him any room to avoid, so he told him.
Before going to bed, Zhou Yang sent him the appointment time at Ren'ai Hospital tomorrow, and Xia Tingwan took a look at it and slipped into the
bed.
He turned over and over until midnight, but he couldn't sleep, thinking about the words Zhou Yang said word by word, and suddenly felt that something was wrong, and couldn't help but call Zhou Yang.
"Hello?"
"Zhou Yang..." Xia Tingwan asked, "What do you mean when you just said that the car I drove and the person I injured?"
There was silence on the other side of the phone for several seconds, and Xia Tingwan looked down, and it was clear that he was still on the phone: "Hello? Zhou Yang? "Well, there's
a bit of a problem with the just signal." Zhou Yang finally spoke, and his voice was very stable: "What I just said is that you hurt others and hurt yourself, not only did you let yourself suffer so many sins, but also made people who cared about you sad." Did he just say that?
Xia Tingwan's heart was a little confused, but he did not record Zhou Yang's words word by word, and Zhou Yang was really too calm, so he had to go like this: "Okay, I have received your message, and I will go to treatment tomorrow."
Zhou Yang didn't say a word, "Hmm" and hung up the phone.
Xia Tingwan had hardly slept all night, and when he got up the next day to wash up, he accidentally saw his own face in the mirror, only to see a dark blue circle under his eyes, gaunt to the point of frightening, and the scar on the right side of his face was even more hateful because of his dull complexion.
His disgust for himself churned again familiarly.
As a child he had low self-esteem.
Because he was poor, his clothes were always worn, and one winter, his boots were torn a hole, and the family had no money to buy new ones, and he had to stomp his feet hard every day to go to school and walk so that his feet would not freeze.
In his childhood, when there was no color to speak of, he was like a gray rat, hiding in various corners every
day.
At school, no child liked him, and when he walked into the classroom, everyone's giggling laughter would stop for a moment, and then turn their strange eyes to him.
Whenever he thought about the scene at that time, he would feel a spasm in his stomach.
When Su Yan pursued him, he and Su Yan drank beer and talked about the scene of childhood, "At that time, every day was so inferior, I wanted to disappear like that", as he spoke, he couldn't help but look at Su Yan as if he were hungry for: comfort.
Su Yan touched his head and said, "I heard that the best way to cure inferiority is to find someone who loves you and make love like
crazy." It wasn't until after marrying Su Yan that he really understood the meaning of that sentence.
Newly married, he was narcissistic to inflated.
Even if you just look in the mirror casually, you can't help but feel that you are beautiful enough to shine.
For the first time he genuinely liked his eyebrows, his eyes, and felt that he was good looking when he smiled and looked good when he ate.
At that time, he was like a small male peacock who experienced the estrus period for the first time, novel and proud, eager to show his gorgeous tail screen with the whole world, and the vigorous lust and vitality rushed like a river on his body all the time.
Love is a beauty.
Xia Tingwan looked at the mirror, and the light in his eyes gradually dimmed due to the memory, and the face left in the mirror, even if it covered the scar, became ugly.
He turned and walked out of the bathroom, put on a coat, put on his sunglasses and went downstairs.
Zhao Nanshu had already driven the car and was waiting for him, when he saw him sit in, he threw him a wrapped tuna sandwich, and while driving, he said: "Boss, my friend has made an appointment for me to meet, it is the back office of the pediatric department of Renai Hospital, who manages the registration file, I will inquire about it, and when the time comes, I will call you, about Wen Zichen, you have something to ask temporarily, you can tell me."
Xia Ting was holding the sandwich tastelessly, and when he heard Wen Zichen's name, he suddenly felt a bout of discomfort, and he squeezed the sandwich tightly and did not speak.
Xia Tingwan also came to do several repairs, before the laser, the doctor applied cold frost to his face, and when he lay down, Xia Tingwan felt that he felt very numb from his face to his brain.
The laser machine was raised, he closed his eyes, and his mind remembered the action of Su Yan supporting Wen Zichen's waist that day, and what Wen Zichen said to Su Yan: Brother Yan, then I will go up to accompany Ning Ning.
It was as if there were two completely different lines running in his mind, one moment seriously thinking about who Ning Ning really was, and the other moment he couldn't help but aimlessly care about the tone of Wen Zichen's call su Yan "Brother Yan", soft and with a little dependence.
After the repair was done, Zhao Nanshu happened to call over, and Xia Tingwan listened to him as he walked outside.
"I feel that there is actually nothing to check, just a very ordinary person," Zhao Nanshu said with some discouragement on the other end of the phone: "Wen Zichen N big nursing major, after graduating the year before, directly into the pediatric department of Ren'ai, usually has a good temper, especially with children, the family conditions are quite general, and there is a younger brother who is not in good health, he had a boyfriend who seemed to be quite rich before, and broke up last
year." Now you know this, boss, do you have anything you want to ask?
Zhao Nanshu said that it was an investigation, in fact, there was no clue, and it was obvious that the things asked were also about Wen Zichen's personal situation and feelings.
"Oh yes, also," before Xia Ting could speak, Zhao Nanshu added: "He seems to be concentrating on accompanying a very important patient recently, so he only comes to work two days a week, which is still relatively rare in Ren'ai, so he mentioned it
more patient?" What's it called?
"Ah... You wait," Zhao Nanshu obviously did not expect Xia Tingwan to be interested in this, he seemed to cover the phone and said something to the person next to him, and after a while the voice came again: "It is an eleven-year-old child, named Yin Ning." HHe said he was hospitalized because of a car accident. Xia Tingwan's footsteps suddenly stopped: "Yin Ning? When did he, when did he get into a car accident?
"Yeah." Zhao Nanshu didn't realize that something was wrong: "You also need to know--then wait, you have to check it."
Xia Tingwan stood in the corridor of the hospital with her mobile phone in hand, Yin Ning, Ning Ning, pediatric nurse, Zhou Yang said hurtfully.
These wisps of clues constantly crossed in his mind in the less than a minute of waiting for Zhao Nanshu's answer, and he seemed to be waiting for his own judgment, and he could clearly hear his own heartbeat, rapid, violent, and could jump out of his chest at any time.
"Boss, I found out, I was admitted to the hospital at eleven o'clock in the evening on March 15 this
year." When Zhao Nanshu said this, his voice suddenly became wrong: "March 15th, this is not the boss you... Fuck me, what's going on?
Before he could finish speaking, Xia Tingwan's mobile phone had already snapped to the ground, leaving only Zhao Nanshu's anxious voice ringing over and over again from the phone: "Hello? boss? feed? Boss, are you still here?
Xia Tingwan did not pick up the mobile phone, he covered his face, and fell to his knees on the cold floor of the hospital with a loud thud.
"Come and pick me up, I'm going to Xiangshan now."
I have something to ask Su Yan, I have a lot to ask him. <
Xia Tingwan didn't remember how he walked out of the hospital, only that his fingers had been shaking and holding the phone, repeating to Zhao Nanshu over and over again: "I want to see Su Yan."
"How can you hit someone," Zhao Nanshu said in shock as he drove, "the media has not reported it at all, the police have only revoked your driver's license for six months, and no family members have appeared."
How could this be, is it a misunderstanding, boss, do you really not remember what really happened that day?
"Nanshu, I really don't remember anything, I drank too much that day, I only remember that the front was the bumper, I couldn't stop the car and crashed into it, and what happened after that, I don't remember."
Xia Ting murmured in the evening, he turned his head to look at Zhao Nanshu, and all the radiance in those eyes was lost: "I hit people, I bumped
people."
Zhao Nanshu was silent for a moment before he spoke: "Boss, not necessarily, really, maybe it is a coincidence." As soon as he said it, he felt a pang of weakness.
"Ha." Xia Tingwan threw his head back, he shook his head vigorously, and almost painfully squeezed out a voice from between his teeth: "There is no misunderstanding, nor is it a coincidence." Su Yan knew and Zhou Yang also knew what was happening, they were all hiding from me, they were all hiding from me.
Zhao Nanshu couldn't say a word, but just sped up the speed of the car and drove towards Xiangshan.
Coincidentally, when Zhao Nanshu's car just drove to the Su Mansion, he saw that Su Yan's black Maybach had just stopped in the lane of the Su
Mansion.
After the driver opened the car door, Su Yan walked out first and stood to the side, waiting, followed by Wen Zichen, who was wearing a pure white sports suit.
After Wen Zichen came out, he still bent down as if to say something to the people in the car, and after a while, he saw a thin little boy holding Wen Zichen's hand and carefully getting out of the car.
Xia Ting stared at the strange little boy, only to feel a whirlwind, he pushed the car door, but his feet seemed to step on cotton.
Along the way, he thought about going to Xiangshan immediately to inquire about Su Yan's truth, but now that the truth was in front of him, he suddenly felt that unprecedented fear was drowning him.
Of course, Su Yan saw him at a glance, and at a distance of seven or eight meters, Xia Ting could feel Su Yan's face sinking.
Xia Ting staggered past, and with each step he took, the clearer the little boy's face became, but the more he saw it, the more his heart sank.
The little boy is thin and delicate, the left eye on the white face is clearly stitched, and the eyelids are shrugged, so when looking at people, they must slightly turn their faces to the left so that it is more convenient to use the upper right eye.
"How did you get here?"
Su Yan took a step forward, and today he looked more inaccessible than
ever.
Unlike the calm and alienation of that day, the corners of his taut mouth were now guarded.
"Su Yan, how long are you going to hide the car accident from me?"
Xia Tingwan forced Su Yan to step forward step by step, he did not dare to look at the little boy's face again, he could only stare at Su Yan fiercely: "Tell me, you tell me, what the hell happened?"
What have you done?
"Mr. Xia—" Wen Zichen, who had been standing next to him, couldn't help but stand up, and he seemed to want to say something, but Su Yan suddenly pressed his shoulder hard.
"Take Ning Ning first." Su Yan turned his head and glanced at Wen Zichen and said with an unquestionable attitude.
Wen Zichen did not dare to speak again, he bowed his head and took the little boy's hand, turned his head and went to the Su mansion.
It wasn't until the backs of both of them disappeared that Su Yan looked at Xia Tingwan and asked in a low voice, "What do you want to know?"
Xia Tingwan's lips trembled violently.
The question came to his lips, but it made him tremble with fear: "Su Yan, I, am I... Bumped into someone?
"Yes."
Su Yan didn't even hesitate at all, and said directly.
With a "bang", Xia Tingwan felt his whole body falling rapidly, towards the bottomless well, and the darkness enveloped him at that moment: "Why, why? I distinctly remember... I hit the bumper, how can I hit someone...? "You're so drunk that you don't even see the bumper, and you naturally don't pay attention to what's going on around you." After hitting the bumper, the car spun 270 degrees and slid to the right rear, when Yin Ning and his mother ran a red light and were crossing the road, and were bumped by your out-of-control car, you were basically unconscious at that time, so you won't remember. Su Yan didn't seem to be planning to hide any details, and when Xia Ting asked late, he answered simply.
Xia Tingwan felt that he had almost lost the strength to stand, he looked at Su Yan blankly, and murmured: "I hit people, I really bumped into people, but why didn't the media report, the police didn't look for me, half a year, I, I don't know anything, is he okay, Su
Yan... What about his mom, was his mom hurt?
"Yin Ning's mother only had a little bruise at that time, and after the accident, I negotiated with her about Yin Ning's injury once and decided to lose money for personal gain." But after the money was given, she disappeared and did not come to the hospital to see Yin Ning. Later, I sent someone to check, Yin Ning's mother was addicted to drugs, originally took Yin Ning to live in various relatives' homes, this time out of this matter, simply take the money to run away, I have recently been dealing with this matter. Su Yan said this, paused for a moment, and finally said in a deep voice: Yin Ning was hit the head at that time, and there were problems with his limb coordination ability for several months, but after half a year of nursing, it has returned to normal. BBut his left eye was stabbed by glass, and the damage to his vision was permanent, and what he saw in his left eye for the rest of his life would be blurry. "Permanent..."
Xia Tingwan fell weakly to the ground, he wanted to support himself with his arms, but he couldn't control his body, and he lay on the ground and vomited with tears in his eyes.
He let an 11-year-old child lose a clear left eye forever, and even if he dies now, all this he has caused is irreparable.
Yin Ning did nothing wrong, but he would never be as sharp and dexterous as a child of the same age, all because of him, because of him.
Su Yan also crouched down in front of him, and those light gray eyes grew deeper and deeper in the
night. "I'm guilty, Su Yan..."
Xia Tingwan's body shook violently, and every time he said a word, he couldn't help but vomit because he hated himself.
He could no longer control himself, stretched out his arm and hugged Su Yan's neck tightly in front of him, and tears dripped into the neckline of Su Yan's
shirt. Xia Tingwan whimpered, almost crying fragile from his throat: "Damn it's me, it's me who should be blind, I'm guilty, Su Yan..."
"You shouldn't check it out."
Su Yan did not push away Xia Tingwan, but gently stroked Xia Tingwan's back with his hand.
"Shouldn't I check?" Xia Ting had not yet recovered from endless chagrin and regret for a while, and he raised his head in disbelief and looked at the man in front of him in shock: "Su Yan, I hit someone, are you going to hide this matter from me for the rest of my life?"
"The car accident happened in the marriage-" Su Yan paused, and slowly continued: "I will be responsible, the media has already done it at that time, Yin Ning's matter, I will take custody of it, and then set up a fund to give him full authority to use it when he becomes an adult." Xia Tingwan, even if you don't know anything, I will handle everything well and do my best to compensate Yin Ning.
Xia Tingwan stared at Su Yan, the corners of his eyes were red, and his expression gradually changed from shock to anger.
"Why do you think you can compensate for me?" What's wrong with you? I did the wrong thing myself, what is the matter with you, I want you to make up for it - Su Yan, you are a fucking self-righteous bastard.
He said and pulled a rough grip on Su Yan's neckline, and in that instant, Su Yan's incomprehensible calmness made him grit his teeth in hatred.
He was as manic as a small beast trapped in an invisible cage: "Su Yan, you have heard clearly, the person I hit, the responsibility is mine, I don't want you to deal with it for me, nor do I want you to atone for my sins, this is all my own business, I don't accept your affection."
Su Yan broke free of Xia Tingwan's hands and stood up.
He tightened his thin lips and looked down at Xia Tingwan.
"At that time, I was very angry with
you."
He said a headless and brainless word in the night wind.
"On the day of the crash, I watched you and that little kid lying on a stretcher covered in blood and being taken to the hospital, and you'll never understand that
fear. During the few days that you were unconscious, I looked at you and got angry with you every day. I can't forgive you, and I can't forgive myself. But the thought of waking up, you have to face the wounds on your face, the wounds on your body, and at the same time you have to face a heavy sense of self-blame and guilt... I can't bear it. Su Yan's expression was restrained and calm, but his eyes carried a touch of sadness.
"I can't bear it."
He whispered, "Xia Tingwan, I always can't stand you, so I'm always doing weak and unprincipled
things." I'm as guilty as you are. "