Chae Seon Ra
Me and Lee Dong Wook walk for an hour or so. I think we are finally past all the hurt and are now progressing towards a happy friendship.
I told him about all that happened in the lyricism workshop. I didn't tell him about the part where I cried in the park and Taehyung helped me. It is a memory I would like to keep for just myself.
His response, "You know you write well. Why listen to others?".
That is easier said than done. Little does he understand that him believing in me is not the same as me believing in myself.
"There was even this guy in the corridor...", I start to say.
I tell him about everything. It's been so long since we talked.
He tells me all about his theatre workshop and stuff.
It feels so good to have my friend back.
"So, did any girl catch your eye in the theatre workshop?", I ask teasing him.
I am surprised he has never dated. He could get any girl.
"As a matter of fact, yes. Someone did. Not from the theatre workshop though. You even know her.", he says.
"Oh? Who is she? I only know Ryujin and Kang Won Ae here. Do you like... Kang Won Ae?", I ask teasing him.
"Of course not. I would never like her. How can I like someone who punched you?"
"Then who is it?", I am so curious.
"I will tell you. Someday.", he says smiling.
I didn't realize it was almost 6 PM. I should go check in on the progress of the songs.
"You better! I am so curious!"
"I will tell you, don't worry."
"Also, I should go now. Jin hyung even texted me."
"Okay, but meet me at the park tonight. I have something to show you."
"Okay, you got it!"
I start to make my way to where everyone was gathered.
But no one is there anymore except Jungkook.
"Yah Jungkooka! Where is everyone? Are you guys done with the song?", I ask.
"We are almost done. They are just in the recording room checking some stuff."
"All of them?"
"Mostly. I am eating first and I don't know about Taehyung. He and I are the only one missing."
"Oh ok. Enjoy your food!", I say as I begin to leave for the recording room.
But I hear some shouts coming from the lyricism workshop room.
Who cares? I should just go.
But... curiosity gets the best of me.
I will just take a peek.
I see that guy, the one from the corridor who asked me to move out of his way. He is shouting at someone.
"Yah! It is not my fault! Have you ever seen how annoying she is? I don't even know what she is doing here because she is clearly talentless. Then she acts all bold and brave when she should be intimidated by her superiors, aka me.", the guy says.
Correction shouts.
Who is he talking about and with whom?
I can't see the other person.
The other person lands a solid punch. Should I intervene?
I am having fun watching him getting beaten up. I will intervene if it goes out of hand.
That guy has his gang of friends so I hope the person landing the punch has a few guys with him too or he is doomed.
"One more word about her out of your shitty mouth... I will kill you right here.", the other guy says quite threateningly.
What a sweet guy. Guys like him make us all believe in romance. This is such a typical kdrama scene.
I think I have heard this voice before.
The guy, the one who is the jerk, also, lands a solid punch.
Wait, what the hell... is the other guy, Taehyung!? What is he doing here! Did he come to die!?
So, the girl the jerk is talking about is... me. Ouch that hurts. Not that I care.
The guys gang up on him and start punching him. Why isn't he defending himself!? I know he can fight; does he have a death wish!?
WHY IN THE WORLD IS HE SMILING!?
Time to intervene.
"YOU CRAZY BASTARD! Will you fight or not!?", I shout at him. He angers me. What is wrong with him!?
"And yah! You crazy jerk, get your hands off of him, before I rip them off myself!", I shout while Taehyung is still comfortably lying on the floor, all covered in blood.
The jerk keeps making his way towards me. As if I will be intimidated.
When he comes close enough, I land a solid punch and I swear I heard bones crunch or maybe that is my ego talking.
Common sense tells me I can't take on a gang of guys by myself, but common sense left my body long ago.
"YAH!", that jerk comes to punch me back and I just duck in hopes my bones will not be shattered.
"Don't you dare lay a finger on her.", says Taehyung who suddenly has gotten up.
I wouldn't have minded if he would have done this sooner but okay.
He hates me but wishes to protect me. He definitely is insane.
Surprisingly, insane is my type.
Taehyung was threatening enough that the guys back off.
Phew, no more bloodshed.
"Let me bandage you...", I say but Taehyung is nowhere to be seen.
He just left.
That bastard just left like that.
Fine, who cares anyway?
Not like I asked him to pick up a fight or anything.
I make my way to the recording room.
I hear heaven: Jin hyung's vocals combined with Jungkooka's vocals.
"Seon Ra-ssi come sing with us!", says Jimina.
And just like that, we are all singing happily and enjoying ourselves.
Soon, Taehyung enters. He is all bandaged up.
"What happened Taehyunga!?", asks Jin hyung.
"Nothing much, I fell.", he says.
Such a bad liar. Anyone can see through that lie.
"How did you get bandaged up? The infirmary is closed by now, it is 8PM.", says Jungkooka.
My point exactly.
"I learned how to do it myself. I just came to get the lyrics for my part, I will practice it back in my room."
Namjoon hyung passes him the lyrics and he leaves the room.
"I will be right back.", I say before I leave to follow him.
"Are you fine?", I ask.
"None of your business."
"It is my business if you pick a fight over me!"
He just continues to walk without acknowledging my existence.
"Yah!!!! Don't ignore me!!!", I say as I grab his sleeve.
He just yanks my hand off so hard that it hurts.
Kim Taehyung
She is making me so angry! I worked so hard to make us hate each other again but why does she still care?
Why can't she just leave and go away!? I don't want to see her! I hate her!
"You listen to me once and for all. I hate you. A lot. More than you can imagine. So, just leave. More than the punches, your presence is hurting me. You are just... a lot. Get lost please."
She doesn't follow me after this. I must have hit the right places.
It hurts me more than it will ever hurt her to say such things. All I want to do is run to her right now and never let her leave my arms. I want to tell her how much... I love her. I am doing this because I love her... I should just stop bumping into her. But I had to make that guy pay. I just had to.
I wish I can take all those hurtful words back... but I can't.
I will get over her, someday. She would get over me too, she probably already has, who would wait around for a jerk like me?
I make my way to the dorm to rest up. That guy landed some solid punches. But I bandaged myself up pretty nicely. I learned to bandage the day I accidentally punched Seon Ra. I really wished that I could have at least patched her up, so I learnt it. It is a good survival skill anyway.
Chae Seon Ra
What have I ever done to him? Why does he treat me like I am the most disgusting thing he has ever seen?
It hurts me more than I'd like to admit. It really does hurt.
Told you, that 4 AM drive was just a fever dream. I really wish I could erase that memory. It was so cruel of him to give me one of my happiest memories and then act like it never happened. I want to erase it, that'll make hating him so much easier.
It is so tough to hate someone whom you can see right through. I know he is hurting, but I can't understand why. Maybe it was something I did. Maybe it is something I didn't do.
I am not such a bad person, right? Him acting like that makes me feel like I am the worst person to ever exist. I am so bad that he can't even stand my presence.
Plus, he said that... I am a lot. Those few words that I never wanted to hear. I know I can be a lot but I felt like he would feel differently. For the first time, I hoped.
Hope is just a drug, you keep on consuming it till you die, till there is no escape from its spiral other than to just die.
I text Dong Wook telling him that I won't be able to meet up tonight.
I am just too tired.
I rush over to my room and Ryujin is already there.
"What is wrong?", she asks.
"Why would anything be wrong?", I say laughing.
"I have known you for 8 years, there is no fooling me, so just tell me.""
"How are things with Yoongi hyung?", I say trying to dodge.
"Answer me Seon Ra.", she says threateningly.
"Nothing...", I try to say boldly but it comes out as a whisper.
I am on the verge of crying. Why am I crying over a stupid jerk!?
She asks me to sit on the bed.
"Tell me Seon Ra. I am here, remember?", she says smiling.
That smile is my undoing.
I tell her everything, about the jerk being a jerk.
I don't tell her about the drive because I feel like if she hates him, I will be able to.
She just hugs me while I cry.
Kim Taehyung
I come back to the dorm but everyone is still out.
I can hear voices coming from Seon Ra's room. She is talking with Ryujin.
So, I decide to eavesdrop because I have nothing better to do.
And, I hear everything.
But when she starts crying... I do too. I can't hold it in anymore. I know I am doing this for her good but can't there be another way around this?
I wish I never met her. I wish I never fell for her. I wish I didn't have to hurt her like this.
I hear the door click, time to hide.
Too late.
She bumps right into me.
We both look at each other with red swollen eyes.
It honestly is so funny. But no one is laughing.
We spend full 5 minutes just staring like that. I can't bear to see her hurt, that too because of me.
"Can we talk?", I say.
"No."
"Please."
"I don't have any more energy for your kind words."
I just grab her hand and take her to my room.
"Get over with this asap. I have other things to do."
"Seon Ra... please forgive me.", I say as I start to cry.
"What is wrong!? Did they hurt you bad? Does it still hurt?", she says as she starts to scan my injuries.
"I am so sorry..." I say as I continue crying as she hugs me.
"It is okay. It is okay Taehyung."
"I never meant what I said... I didn't mean to hurt you.", I say as I wipe my tears.
"It is okay even if you meant it... it was all true.", she says as tears start brimming in her eyes.
I wish I could take it all back.
I hug her and say, "No, it wasn't. I just said because I love you. I love you Seon Ra."
"Then love me! I am asking you to love me, Taehyung!"
"I can't... for both our sakes, I won't... please forgive me and move on.", I say before I leave.
I can't do this anymore. It hurts too much.
Chae Seon Ra
Coward. He is a bloody coward.
Don't I know how dangerous whatever we have is? I do know, but yet I am brave enough to give it a shot.
Actually, you know what? I am done. So done.
He won't be doing any of this if he loved me really. He just doesn't, he just simply hates me.
And move on? As if.
Even though he said all those words to make me hate him, I am pretty sure they were true.
He is right though; we shouldn't be anything. We were never anything.
At least, he apologized.
Makes him less of a jerk.
To be continued...
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