I found myself at a nearby coffee shop catching up with Baxter. I sat across from him, sipping my dirty chai listening to him talk. I know hanging out with him was not the best idea, but I needed to clear my mind after what just happened with Blue.
"Enough about me tho; please tell me what's new with you?" Baxter leaned back in his seat.
"Nothing too exciting, still doing the same things. I moved recently, well my mom, dad, and I did." I responded.
"How are they?" He crossed his arms, waiting for a response.
"Not like you care, but they're good, I assume."
Baxter laughed. "Oh, come on, we had our fun times with them?"
I smirked.
My parents liked Baxter; since they were highly absent in my life, they didn't have a care in the world who I hung out with. There were countless times when Baxter and I would be high as hell around them or fucking in my room. They would never bat an eye.
"Oh hey, how's Savannah?" Baxter interrupted my thoughts.
"She would hate to know that you're asking that question." I held my mug in my hands.
"I assume she's good," Baxter smirked. "Oh, and your other friend, his name is a color or something?" His smile faded.
"Blue." I dart my eyes away from him.
"Yeah, him. How's lover boy?" Baxter laughed at his joke.
I shook my head and lied. "Blue is not in love with me."
"You can believe whatever you want to believe; I saw how that kid looked at you when we were together. He hated me." Baxter fixed the Yankee's hat on his head.
"You weren't exactly easy to like." I rolled my eyes, joking with him.
"Just let me know when he confesses his love for you; I'll make a bet with you. I'll give you my Rolls when that happens." Baxter leaned towards the table.
"And if I win?" I snickered, placing my cup down.
"You won't." Baxter smiled.
"I see you haven't changed much." I finished my drink and placed the cup near the side of the table.
"You got somewhere to be?" Baxter checked his watch.
"I do, actually; I was heading to Savannahs."
"I gotta do a deal, lemme give you a ride, for old times sake?" Baxter stood up, shuffling his jacket on him.
"It's okay really-"
"Come on, you haven't been in the new car, and it's cold. Let's go. I know where she lives."
Baxter unlocked his car and opened the passenger side for me. I stepped inside and sat down; Baxter closed the suicide doors and rounded the front of the car, and jumped in. The engine turned on, and Baxter slipped out of his spot and flew past the light.
"How come you don't hit me up anymore?" He leans back and puts one hand on the wheel.
"I don't do pills anymore." I lie.
"Ahh, makes a lot of sense. Thought you wanted nothing to do with me."
"That too," I reply.
"Appreciate the honesty." Baxter makes a right.
"You know we were no good for each other. Only as friends." I leaned my head back on the seat.
"Yeah, I loved you too much for us just to stay friends, F."
We come to a stop; Baxter puts the car in park. "It was really good seeing you tho."
"You too; I'm glad you're well." I smiled, looking Into his eyes.
"Here, take this." Baxter shuffles in his pocket. He pulls out a bag and slips it in my coat pocket.
"I know you're lying, so take these."
I nodded, unsure of what he had just given me. "Thank you for the ride." I reach for the handle, and the door opens itself. I step out and hear the door shut behind me. The window rolls down, and I turn around and crouch down to look at Baxter.
"Don't be shy, F; You know I'll always answer your calls." Baxter winks.
I smile and thank him again, Baxter speeds off, and I head up the concrete steps to Savannah's apartment. Before entering, I fish out what Baxter dropped in my pocket.
He knows me too well. Xanax and a gram of coke, nice.
_______
"You told him I told you!?" Savannah yelled.
"I'm sorry! We had a deep conversation; I needed to let him know why it couldn't continue!" I slumped down on her bed.
"He called me earlier, and I haven't had the chance to call him back; there's no way in hell I'm dealing with that right now." Savannah opened her closet doors.
"I'm sorry, I'm such an idiot." I covered my face with my hands. "I don't want to lose him as a friend because of this."
"You won't; he just needs some space; I just know he's confused right now." Savannah started laying out clothes next to me on her bed. "Okay, so we'll avoid him until we see him at Baylor's tonight."
"Baylor's in town?" I remove my hands and sit up on her bed.
Savannah nods and motions me to help her pick an outfit.
"Sav." I quickly say as I stand up to help her with her outfit choices.
"Yeah, babe?" She turns towards me, holding a beautiful Dior black dress.
"I think I have feelings for Blue." I feel myself choking up.
Savannah doesn't move her position; she lowers the dress onto the bed.
"I know it's stupid to tell him this can't continue, but he's been my close friend for so long, I physically can not lose him. Everything that night felt so right; I felt so safe with him." I hold my tears back as Savannah puts her hand on my shoulder.
"I can't bring him into my fucked up life, I know he's in it, but he's not IN it." I look down at my hands. "Fuck me; I fucked everything up. I told him we can never do that again, and I want to do all of that so bad again." I ramble on.
Savannah and I take a seat on her bed; she comforts me and lets me continue to speak.
"I just- I just don't know what to do."
"Why not tell him how you really feel?" Savannah softly speaks. "It's so obvious you, too, have something."
"I never felt like this till now tho, that's the thing." I clear my throat.
"Do you think because you were suppressing it?" Sav tucks my hair behind my ear. "You even said when you guys were hooking up that all of these feelings just exploded."
I nodded, agreeing with her. Savannah and I spoke for a bit longer; then Savannah packed her stuff; we called a cab to head to my place to get ready for Baylor's.
_______
Savannah and I stepped out of the elevator to loud music and a packed apartment once again. We laughed with excitement, our shoulders banging into each other. Lucas waved us down in the corner, and Savannah shrieked with happiness.
"Hey!" Savannah wrapped her arms around his neck, and they shared a kiss.
"Hey, beautiful, I think I found some of your friends," Lucas said while standing next to Austin and Binx.
Savannah and I hugged them both and said hello.
"You guys know each other?" Savannah asked while grabbing two shots off a tray by us; she handed one to me.
"Nah, I was giving Lucas a line, and Austin happened to mention Frankie and you." Binx sipped his drink, putting his arm around me.
"Aw, you guys were talking about us." I nudged Binx.
"Hell yeah, we were wondering if you girls were coming. We were about to call you until Lucas confirmed it; we decided to wait with him till you showed." Binx smiled.
"Hey, where'd Layla go?" Austin looked at Binx.
"Oh, she's with Blue! Let's find them." Binx led the way towards outside.
I shot Savannah a look, and she played it off.
"Yeah, let's!" Savannah grabbed my hand, following behind Lucas.
We moved in between the flooding mass of people. I grabbed a drink off another tray going by and downed it along with my shot Savannah just gave me. My heart raced as we approached the balcony.
"Savannah, I don't wanna do this," I whispered in her ear.
"Yes, you do come on; it'll be fine." She held my hand tighter.
We eventually pushed past enough people to make it outside. This party already had way more people than last time. There was a DJ outside playing loud music on a dance floor. Girls were jumping in and out of the hot tub. I squinted my eyes to see Baylor surrounded by girls in the hot tub. Our eyes locked, and he lifted his drink, greeting me. I smiled and waved.
"Hey, Hey, look who we found!" Binx yelled over the music.
I hid behind Lucas's tall stature, hoping to be seen last.
"Hey, you!" Layla came towards me, embracing me in a hug.
I smiled and returned the gesture. I glanced behind her, realizing she wasn't out here with Blue.
"Hey, where's Blue?" Lucas asked Layla while grabbing hold of Savannah.
"Hm, he was just right here a couple of minutes ago." Layla pulled away from our hug and scanned her surroundings.
My heart started to race; It was too soon to face Blue. We just got into it earlier today.
"I see him," Savannah said bluntly. She pointed to the couches in the corner. Layla and I turned around, and my heart sank further.
Blue was lying on the couch with a girl. Her back was facing us, and Blue was head-on. I furrowed my eyebrows and scanned the girl's features. Blue was smiling with his hands on his thigh, her leg thrown over his.
"With Dani." I managed to get out.
Savannah scoffs, "Seriously?"
Everyone starts walking towards them as Savannah, and I stagger behind.
"Are you fucking me right now?" I turn towards Savannah.
"That girl is a leech, latching onto him every chance she gets." Savannah rubs my back.
Binx, Austin, and Lucas make a big scene as we approach Blue and Dani on the couch.
Blue stands up, smiling, and greets all the guys. He hugs Layla and turns his direction towards Savannah and me. His hair is lightly slicked back and abnormally curly tonight. He wore a tight black turtleneck with a black coat. His eyes were a deep green, and his teeth pearly white. We lock eyes almost instantly.
Blue's smile almost drops; he looks at Savannah and me, giving us a quick wave. He disappears in front of the boys, and I can only assume he sat back down.
He's pissed.
Layla, Binx, Lucas, and Austin all sit around him.
"This is Dani, guys." Blue smiles and lays back down next to her, Dani places her legs back on him, and his hand finds its way back to her thigh.
"Hi, guys." Dani waves.
Her voice is ear-pinching. I roll my eyes. Savannah and I walk closer towards the group and take a seat. Savannah sits on Lucas's lap, and I sit next to Layla. Dani shoots me a look; I ignore it.
Layla moves her head towards my ear. "Who the hell is this?"
"You don't want to know," I chuckle.
We all sat as a group for a while, talking, drinking and, doing lines. Blue and I kept making glances at each other.
"So, are you two?" Binx raises an eyebrow while pointing to Dani and Blue.
Dani laughs and pushes Blue on the arm.
I motion for a cocktail waitress to head towards me. I sure needed a few more drinks. I tuned out what Dani was chattering about. I grabbed two, and Layla grabbed one. I fished in my pockets for a Xanax that Baxter gave me. I scanned the group quickly to see if Blue or Savannah caught me. I dropped the Xanax in my drink and began sipping.
"Lucas and I are going to go dance; wanna come?" Savannah hovered me.
"Sure." I stood up and invited Layla as well.
As we left the group, I could see Blue staring at me from my peripheral vision. I chug the rest of my drink and start on the other one. We approach the dance floor, Lucas and Savannah are latched on to each other.
Layla grabs my hand, and we start dancing together.
"That girl was really annoying," Layla yells over the music.
"She's obsessed with Blue." I roll my eyes and take another sip.
"I can see that." Layla laughs, cheering me with her drink.
A few minutes pass by, and Binx and Austin join us.
"Can we hang with you guys? We don't wanna cockblock" Binx laughs.
My head whips around to where Blue and Dani are lying. Dani's body is now halfway on Blue's. I shuffle past the boys to get a better view.
I lowered my drink to my side and stood still.
Blue's hand was behind her head, and his other hand was on her ass. I could see everything perfectly now.
They were making out.
My hands felt cold, and my legs felt weak.
"Why are you kissing her?" I whisper to myself.
I set my cup down and scramble through the crowd of people towards the inside. I could feel the Xanax starting to hit. My vision starts to go blurry, as well as my mind.
"Fuck." I stop and hold my head before entering inside.
Everything goes black.