┌─────── ⋆⋅ ☆ ⋅⋆ ───────┐
"Did you get enough love,
my little dove. Why do you cry?
..And I'm sorry I left, but it was
for the best. Though it never
felt right, My little Versailles."
└─────── ⋆⋅ ☆ ⋅⋆ ───────┘
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I've never attended a memorial. I've seen them in movies and heard about them from others. I never expected so much silence after someone dies. I know it's out of respect but even nature seems to have stopped.
Only sound echoing through the forest is the sound of us remaining as still as possible, the leaves and branches snapping under our feet as we shift slightly.
No birds chirping, no insects buzzing.
Silence.
As we all stood above Gilgamesh's body, Thena remained draped over him still an emotional mess. Sersi rubbing her back.
I stare in shock.
He was just alive 3 hours ago, teaching me how to juggle on the plane.
He can't be gone.
I just met him.
Druig pulls the sleeve off Kingo's jacket as Ikaris lifts Gil's body. Druig ties it tightly around my shoulder as we follow Ikaris in utter silence
Karun has his camera securely away in his pocket out of respect for the dead.
Kingo doesn't even argue with us when Druig tears his sleeve off to create a tourniquet for my shoulder.
Thena holds tightly to Sersi and Sprite as we enter the town once again. Sersi nods to Druig as he pulls me away from the group. My eyes glued to Thena's distraught figure.
I've never seen a mourning widow, but that's what I'd imagine it to look like.
"Maya. Watch your steps. Focus please."
He pulls my chin forward away from Gilgamesh's body and the others. I just saw two dead bodies... my first two dead bodies.
Not as Gaia, but as Maya.
Gaia has seen too many.
Druig places me down on a chair in a cabin as he starts collecting a few items from the bathroom to clean up the gash
He slides the shirt off my shoulder and takes a cold wash cloth to my wound. I wince and he says "Sorry."
I sigh as I stare at the ground as he dabs the cloth to the gashes. I mutter barely loud enough for him to hear "You're supposed to use warm water..."
He sighs and says "You say that every time, yet my way always works."
I scoff and say "It's about the comfort of the wounded not the effectiveness."
He nods and says "I'll heat it up in a second..." He continues dabbing the scratch and doesn't warm up the cloth. "You did good today. You saved so many people's lives today."
I look down and say "It wasn't enough. I could have done more. There were casualties. I should have tried using my powers before then. Gilgamesh could still be alive if I did."
He says "No. no. You having your powers earlier wouldn't have changed his outcome-"
"Yes it would have! If I wasn't in the woods he wouldn't have gone looking for me and gotten killed! He could've been- he- would still be alive if I just listened. If I just stayed here instead of running away."
He furrows his eyebrows at my last sentence. Confusion settling in on his expression
Is she meaning now or decades ago?
I sigh and say "If I wouldn't have left the chapel and left you I could have helped others. You could have helped more people instead of-"
"Stop talking. It's false. It's wrong. I left the chapel because I knew you were in danger. I had to kill those deviants because you were in danger. If you were safely beside me while the deviants were prowling on the humans I can't guarantee that I would have left your side."
I shake my head and say "I'm not worth that. I'm not that. I'm boring and complicated. I shouldn't have these powers. I'm going nuts and you just blindly protect me. It isn't fair to you."
He sighs and says "With the amount of shit I put you through in the past, this is nothing."
He bends down to take Neosporin to my scratch on my arm. He looks down to grab the antiseptic and I see the glimmering of something around his neck
My hand mindlessly reaches for the reflective item.
My finger loops into the oversized ring that's looped around a chain around his neck. He clears his throat and pushes the necklace back under his shirt
I mutter "Sorry. I'm not exactly great with boundaries."
He nods and says slightly put off "It's fine."
I chew the inside of my cheek as silence lingers and I say "Since you still have your ring... does that mean you still have... well, I guess my ring?"
He sighs as he pushes my body around to look at the gash on my back. Looking to clean it now. "No. I don't have Gaia's ring." He says dismissively, anger visible through the statement.
I look down and say quietly "My hands hurt."
He peers around my shoulder and says "Are they injured?"
"No. They just... hurt."
He nods and says "It's probably from your powers. Lack of use and lack of control. Not too surprising considering you haven't used your powers since the 1950's or so."
I look to the empty cabin and say "This is your cabin?" He nods and says "Yeah." He applies pressure to the wound and tapes it quickly. "Why is it so plain? And empty?"
He sighs and says "It's how I like it."
"It's so boring and really depressing." I say as I look around at the empty picture frames and clean shelves. Someone lives in here?
He snaps "Well, having you here but not really here is depressing!"
I look down to my hands immediately feeling his anger through those words. He sighs and says "That was rude, I'm sorry."
I shake my head and say "no... I was being intrusive.. I'm going to find Sprite now. You're done patching up the gash right?"
He nods silently and I quickly stand up and leave the cabin.
I quickly walk to Sprite and she says "You good?"
I nod and say quietly "Druig has anger issues..."
She nods and says "That's a known fact. What'd he do?"
"Nothing. Me being here but not being the version of myself that he knows frustrates him."
She looks to the group and says "We're about to head to the river to have a pyre for Gilgamesh."
I rock on my heels and say "Okay.."
Kingo goes to fetch Druig with Sersi as Thena remains quiet. I slide over and side hug her. Her grip tightens around me and she stares towards Gil's body that's now covered by a sheet.
Druig exits the cabin with Kingo and I can tell they just had a minor spat. Druig won't look my way and Kingo is glaring at Druig
Ikaris, Kingo, and Druig lift Gil's body that's rested on a few panels of wood like a gurney. I hold up half Thena's weight as Sersi loops her arm around Thena and helps her with me to the river.
Everything happened after we arrived at the river was a blur.
Gilgamesh's body was rested down, everyone helped build wood up around him and before we lit it Ikaris says "Gilgamesh was a good warrior and a great man. He will be missed dearly."
Kingo says "He was a hell of a chef and he packed a hell of a punch. He was a great man."
Sersi says "Gilgamesh was a great friend, I will miss him and his kindness dearly."
Sprite says "He never got mad at Gaia and I's pranks and would always keep our shenanigans secrets from the others. He always smiled and was always so easy going and happy. I'm going to miss him so much."
Karun gives a beautiful prayer and everyone looks to Druig to continue. Druig clears his throat and says "Gilgamesh hated my guts a few times and kept me in line. He helped me become a better person and he ultimately helped me meet Gaia. Gilgamesh officiated my wedding and I'll miss him dearly. He was truly one of the good ones."
I stare at the pile of sticks and large logs built up like a TP and say "Gilgamesh taught me how to juggle and he always protected me, even as Maya. I don't have my Gaia memories of him but I can feel the impact he had on us. Gaia loved him like a father and I'm so sorry he never got to be reunited with her again."
Thena falters in my arms slightly and I pull her a little closer to me. Silence lingers and she drops the torch onto the pyre.
Everyone steps back and Sersi and Kingo come to comfort Thena for me.
I step away from the large flames, feeling my face getting red and sadness and numbness settling in.
I sit down and watch the river flow as I attempt to process everything happening.
I bite at my acrylics and Druig sits down beside me. I look over for a second and then back to the river.
It's so tense and uncomfortable, it makes me itch at how bad it is
A hiccup comes out of my mouth and I cover my mouth embarrassed
The side of Druig's mouth quirks up and he says "Nervous hiccups."
I nod and say "Yeah. I get them all the time. I'm sorry about your friend.."
He sighs and says "You were closer with him then me."
I look to the water as it begins to get dark but the big flames still flow high. "Do you think I'll ever get my old memories back?"
"I don't know. But I hope so."
Maybe it'd be better if I just stayed out of their lives.
Druig scoffs and says "Leaving again would only fuck up our lives more right now. If this is our last day alive, until we are reincarnated again... I don't want to spend it with anyone other than you."
I rest my hand on his knee and say "She must have really loved you. You're very charming."
He shakes his head and says "I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her. She was my beginning, middle and end. She was all I ever wanted and needed."
I nod and say "You can read minds can't you?"
He nods and says "Yes. And I know you're thinking I quoted twilight but that was my quote first."
"So you did see the movies!"
He shakes his head and I smile slightly. "I've never been to a memorial. Is this the normal thing to do?"
He looks to the fire and says "It depends on the culture. Some bury the ancestor, some get them cremated. They decided to have a pyre and then Thena can scatter his ashes."
"He means a whole lot more to me than I know, doesn't he?"
He nods and says "He loved you like a daughter. No one protected you like he did. Before I could protect you, he'd been there already."
"Is that why I feel like I'm dying on the inside a little?"
"...yes."
I gulp and say "It's also because you have that devastated look on your face and I don't remember how to comfort you like I should."
He shakes his head and says "My feelings don't matter. All that matters is putting the celestial to sleep and saving the humans. Getting your memory back in the process, if possible."
"Your feelings matter Druig. They'll always matter to me, even if I don't remember every single memory of our relationship."
He rests his head on my shoulder and I delicately slide my hand into his.
He falls asleep on me as the others lie down on the sand. Watching the fire burn
Thena stands seated ten feet from the fire staring at it intently
I rest Druig's head off my shoulder and down delicately on the sand. I slowly approach Thena and sit beside her
"We don't have to talk but I'm not going to leave you alone, Thena."
She looks to me and back to the fire. With a shaky sigh she rests her head on my shoulder and I rest my arm around her. Patting her back in an effort of comfort
"He loved you Thena. More than anything."
She nods and says "he did.."
She lost Gilgamesh.
Her tether to reality
But she had me, Thena would always have me.
In one way or another.
I love her too dearly to let her go through this alone, even as Maya.
Thena falls asleep on my shoulder and I remain awake watching the sun rise and the fire smolder.
The red embers shining and smoking as the last of Gilgamesh's ceremony ends.
Silence is when thoughts and horrors creep in and here I am, alone with the silence.
Silence and death are all that weighs down on me in this moment.
And I hate it.
I think I may be the dominion of death. At least that's what it feels like.
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haley speaks!
hiiiii if you didn't know, my names haley and I've changed this section to haley speaks! Hello! finals are officially OVER! Yeeessss! I am so relieved! I got honor roll with a ton of effort and I am SO glad this semester is over with! So excited for this much needed break. I saw Spiderman no way home last night. It was amazing! So good, if any of you would like to talk about it dm me, I won't talk about spoilers in the chapter comments but I will in direct messages! But, the post nwh hype depression is bound to hit soon so I'm trying to write as much as I can before I hit a slump
Anyway, do you guys recognize the song lyrics in the beginning? It's not as known as some of the other songs I've chosen! Woo hoo another chapter out! Makkari is back in the next chapter. Eternals comes to disney+ on january 12th! So my writing will be much better once it's out and oh my god I can't wait for the edits of druig and the others. I'm so excited!!
Q&A: I need gift ideas for family members and myself, any ideas?