TW: Mentions of suicide. If you can't handle it or are easily triggered, DON'T READ. I'll put the tl;dr at the bottom if you don't read it. Just scroll all the way down and you'll see it. And if you do read, and you have tips for me on suicide, PLEASE SHARE. I'll take all the help I can get for this chapter. It was really, really hard to write.
*Rina POV*
"I want to go check on her," Daniel says.
"You can do it tomorrow," Dad says, getting his coat off the coat rack. "We need to get dinner."
"How about afterward?" Daniel asks. "After dinner."
"Your mother wants to go shopping for Christmas lights," Dad says.
"What?" I ask. "It's like, November. We haven't even had Thanksgiving yet."
"She wants to be prepared," Dad shrugs. "And so they don't sell out before she gets to them."
"It's November!" I exclaim. "There's literally no need for this!"
"Rina," Dad looks at me sternly. "Watch the attitude."
I sigh. "Yes sir."
"Thank you," Dad says. "Now come on."
"Rina."
I look over. Daniel's face is paler than snow. "Danny? What's going on?"
"Rina..." Daniel's voice trails off.
I rush to his side and take his phone from him, examining the text.
Gemma: Help, Danny. I can't... I can't do this anymore.
I look at my brother. "Does this mean..."
"Rina, I can't-" Daniel's voice cracks. "I can't lose her. I love her."
"Guys, come on," Dad urges.
"Dad, I've got to go," I say.
"Me too," Daniel says, starting to follow me.
"No," Dad says. "Guys, it's been so long since we had family time. Please."
"Dad, I'm sorry," Daniel says. "I have to do this."
Dad sighs again. "What's going on?"
"Can't tell you," Daniel says.
"Then you're really not going," Dad says.
"Daddy, please," I say.
"No," Dad says. "Now I need to pick up dinner. Come on."
"No," I say firmly. I grab my keys and head toward the door.
Dad grabs my arm. "Rina Elizabeth-"
"Don't 'Rina Elizabeth' me," I snap. My tone softens. "Dad," I say, jerking my arm away. My eyes are painfully honest. "Dad, I need to do this. It's important. I'll be back in an hour, tops, okay? Please."
Dad searches me, his blue eyes scanning me. Finally, he nods. "Alright. Go. Be careful. It's dark out."
"Will do," I say. "I love you," I plant a quick kiss on his cheek and run out the door.
Thoughts whirl through my mind as I drive. It's so hard to go the speed limit when you're panicking. When I get to Gemma's house, I get out and desperately knock on the door.
No one answers. I squint to see inside. Completely empty.
I pull out my phone and shoot off a quick text to Gemma. I wait a minute. Nothing. I glance around. A fence. Glancing around to make sure no one is looking, I quickly climb their chain link fence and fall softly on the grass below. I reach out to steady myself. Good. I run to the backdoor and surprisingly, it slides open. No lock on the back door. Interesting security. But I don't have time to worry about that.
I slide the back door open and slip inside. "Gemma?" My voice reverberates around the house, echoing.
"Rina?" A voice echoes from the bedroom down the hall.
I walk up to the door and knock lightly on the door. "Gemma? It's Rina."
"What are you doing here?" A voice that sounds so meek and timid, it can't possibly be Gemma. She's always so snarky and sarcastic. Now she just sounds... tired. "How did you get in?"
"Back door," I say. "You didn't answer the front door."
"Oh," Gemma says.
"Can I come in?" I ask, knocking on the door.
No response.
"Gemma, what's going on?" I ask.
Still no response.
I sigh. "Listen, Gemma," I say. "I get it if you don't want to talk about it. But whenever you're ready to talk, I'm ready to listen."
I wait for a couple minutes until I hear her voice.
"Okay." She opens the door, slowly.
I walk in, taking in everything. Especially the kitchen knife on her bed.
I walk over and pick it up, glancing at her. "What were you planning on doing with this?"
Gemma doesn't say anything. She just bursts into tears.
I push the knife away and gather her in my arms. "Gemma," I say slowly. "Gemma, it'll be okay. We can get through this. You can't take your own life. It means too much to too many people."
I can feel Gemma's body shaking as sobs rack her chest. "I..."
"Gemma, listen to me," I say firmly. "Your parents. They can't handle life without you. They've already lost one child. How would they react to losing another?"
"They'd be fine," Gemma says. The cracking in her voice breaks my heart. "They have Crystal and Micah."
"And how would Crystal and Micah react?" I ask.
"They'd manage," Gemma says.
"They'd manage?" I ask. "For the rest of their lives? Gemma, they can't lose you. You can't do this. You mean too much to too many people."
"I'm a burden to my family," Gemma says. "They can't go places because of me. Last week my mom had to stay home with me because my PTSD was so bad."
"Gemma, did you ever think that your mom enjoyed staying home and spending time with you?" I ask. "It doesn't show that you're a burden. It shows that your mom loves you. That's why she couldn't afford to lose you."
"There's no one else like that," Gemma says. She lets out another sob.
I pull her closer. "Yes there is. My brother. Gemma, he loves you more than anything. You are his whole life."
"Yeah right," Gemma replies.
"You can't tell him I told you this," I say. "But when he first asked you to the dance, he came home, burst into my bedroom and talked a mile a minute for almost an hour about you. The night you went on a date, he couldn't stop talking about it for days. He loves you so much Gemma. It would kill him if you died."
"It's hard, Rina," Gemma says.
"I know it is," I say, rubbing her back. "What's going on?"
"It's PTSD," Gemma says. "It's so bad. I walk around everyday scared of everything. But I don't know how to fix it. I keep trying to avoid triggers, but it never works. And Bella... I was having flashbacks and anxiety with Bella. She just made the flashbacks shorter and the anxiety a little more manageable. But now that she's gone..."
"Gemma, all you have to do is hold on," I say. "Just a little bit longer. Things will get better. Your parents can find another psychiatric service dog. You'll get a new therapist. Hopefully one that can help. You'll get new medication. Gemma, if you hold on for a little longer-"
"I don't know if I can," Gemma whispers. "I don't know."
"Please," I plead with her. "Try. For your family. For my brother. Just try, alright?"
Gemma sighs. "Alright," she finally whispers. "I'll try."
"And..." I grab a pen and paper and scribble something down. "This is my phone number. If you ever need me at all, don't hesitate to call. If you feel like anything is wrong, call. I'll be there. So will Danny. Okay?"
Gemma takes the piece of paper and lets out a deep breath. "Okay."
I pull her into my chest and we stand there for a moment. "Thank you," I whisper.
"Thank you," Gemma replies.
"Do you need anything else?" I ask.
Gemma shakes her head. "No. I think you got everything." She smiles a little.
I smile back. Smiling has to be hard for her right now. "So I'll see you later?"
She nods. "See you."
"Oh, uh," I say quickly. "Can I go out the front door this time?"
Gemma laughs a little. It's not real but it's close enough for me. "Of course."
She walks me to the front door and opens it for me. "Thanks again."
"Anytime," I say. "Seriously, anytime. And get the knife out of your room." I smile a little.
"Right," Gemma says, nodding. "Goodbye then."
"Bye!" I call behind me.
I slip into the front seat, feeling somewhat accomplished. I hope I helped her, at least. She deserves so much more than what she got.
I turn the key and start to back out.
I think I was just barely past Gemma's neighborhood, only just at the stop sign when a car swerves around the corner. I brake immediately, but even immediately isn't enough. I let go of the steering wheel, bringing my arms up to shield my face, and hope it's enough.
Except I know it won't be.
On impact, I hear glass breaking and metal crunching. I hope the other driver is okay. I hope he's not dead.
I feel glass shards bite into my flesh. My teeth are gritted. Fear overtakes me. I feel an overwhelming pain in my back.
"I love you, Danny," I whisper.
If I die, I want that to be the very last thing I say.
As promised, the tl;dr. (Suicidal parts not included.) Rina saved Gemma from suicide, but was in an accident shortly after.