Summer hit the Wasteland at full-speed.
Tourists were suddenly everywhere—lounging on our beach, shopping at our shops and now invading every crevice of our once-dead town. Thanks to a well known blog that listed Juniper Bay as one of the hottest vacation spots this summer, things were more crowded than I'd ever seen it.
The air was sticky with heat and smelled like sugar and freshly made popcorn. The festival had been going on for hours now and was overloaded with both tourists and locals, mingling together to enjoy all of the fun that came with the start of summer festival.
"I hate all of these people." I muttered to Buffy as we made our way through the thick crowd of people, "Don't these people have jobs or something to get to?"
"Get a new gimmick, Harry. That one is getting old." She smirked over her shoulder at me.
"Okay... I hate this festival, how about that? This isn't even a festival, technically. It's like... a fair. A carnival." I replied with a frown.
"You used to love this festival." Buffy retorted.
"Used to." I mumbled, my eyes flicking all around at all the faces in the crowd.
I knew that I was looking for her and would continue to do so all night long. Ever since Buffy and I stepped out of my apartment to head down the boardwalk to explore the festival, I had been looking for her. It was automatic for me to search for her face in every crowd now. I didn't know when it started, but I found myself doing it everywhere I went.
My eyes took in the scene before us, flickering over the different rides and games that lined the row we were wandering down. There were people all around, kids with their families eating cotton candy and corn dogs, carrying hoards of stuffed animals from the games they just played. The sun was slowly dropping and I knew that the Big Bang of the night would happen soon.
The Lights Up Festival had a very specific purpose. It was an all day long festival that went into the night, when everyone would gather at nightfall to ooh and ahh as they turned on all of the carnival lights at once. The festival would come alive with all the colors of the rainbow in bright, neon shades. Then the music would start and after giving everyone some time to enjoy the festivities—the firework show would happen. I had been to every Lights Up Festival since I was a child. It was one of the few Highland approved Wasteland events.
I had fond memories here. As a child, I'd ride on my father's shoulders and we would both try to win stuffed animals for my mum. I never managed, but dad always won loads for her. I'd always catch her handing them out to different little girls in the crowd as we left. I wondered now if Arabella was ever one of those little girls, if there was a moment when she experienced my mother's kindness. As far as I knew, she grew up in the Wasteland.
As a teenager, I'd come with Buffy and Jessie, back when they were best friends, when we were as snobby and judgmental as Jessie was. We would get high and sneak a flask in and get wasted. We'd ride all of the rides a million times until we felt sick to our stomachs and then we'd sneak back to our side of town. I kept coming to the festival until the accident, but once I lost my mum, I really stopped participating in anything that gave me joy.
Now, I searched my memories, trying to think of any moment in time when I would have seen Arabella here. How could I have missed her, all those years? She was all I could see now. It didn't make sense to me that we were in the same place so many times and didn't see one another.
"Do you remember ever seeing Arabella around when we were younger?" I asked Buffy, pulling my eyebrows together, "'Cause for me, it seems like she appeared out of thin air."
"Yeah, I've seen her at like every Wasteland event we've attended since we were teenagers. As kids, I don't really remember." She shrugged, "There were a couple years that Jessie mocked her outfits or pointed her out so we could laugh at her like the little assholes we were, you don't remember that?"
I sighed, shaking my head, "No, but that part doesn't surprise me."
"Yeah, Jessie always had shit to say about everyone who didn't look like her. I'm so glad I snapped out of my blind loyalty to her. She was always such an asshole to everyone in the Wasteland." Buffy shook her head, frowning, "You could leave her, you know."
"No, I can't. Don't be ridiculous..." I muttered, shaking my head.
"Yes, you could. You're just scared." She argued back, "Wouldn't you rather be happy?"
"No, I'm perfectly comfortable living in a constant state of misery." I said in a monotone, only for Buffy to reach over and whack me across the arm, "Don't start up with me again! You know my answer to this. My mum wanted me to... she loved me and Jessie together."
"That's because Jessie was never a raging cunt to her like she is to you and me and everyone else in the town." She sighed, rolling her eyes, "She is fantastic at charming parents."
"She's not all bad." I mumbled, looking down to watch my shoes as we walked through the crowd. She really wasn't completely terrible. There were parts of her that I enjoyed, that I even loved, parts of her that I would miss if I were to lose her completely. I was attached to her, like she was one of my limbs—I couldn't just cut her off so easily, no matter how much I may want to.
"I know, I just..." She groaned, "You know we have bad blood. It's hard for me to remember anything good about her after the way she treated Gwen."
I winced, remembering that entire ordeal and how hard I had to work to get Buffy to continue being my friend afterwards. Jessie had a rivalry with Gwen since we were kids and when Buffy started dating her, Jessie couldn't handle it. Buffy knew they hated one another and pursued Gwen anyways, which wasn't cool, but it was no excuse for the way Jessie treated her. I didn't blame Buffy for hating Jessie now. I had grown so used to it that it felt weird to think of them ever being best friends.
Buffy bloomed once she stopped being friends with Jessie. She started to dress how she wanted, got a ton of tattoos and moved to the Wasteland. She was one of the few people that inspired me to start changing myself, to start living the way I'd always wanted to. I knew that Jessie blamed Buffy for the opening of my flower shop and my move to the Wasteland, but in reality—that was all Arabella.
Our one night together at Apartment X changed my life in ways that I couldn't describe. It changed me in ways that I hadn't fully realized until she was living next door to me and I was suddenly replaying all of our conversations from that night.
During that night with her, I let her comfort and reassure me because I swore I would never see her again. I swore it was a one night only situation. A one time mistake that I would never make again. I confided in her and cried to her and laid everything onto her. I listened to her intently as she stroked my hair and told me that I could be anything I wanted to be, that it was never too late to change the course of my life. She encouraged me, she held me, she made me feel like happiness was possible again. She was terrifying to me. I never experienced anything like her.
"I know. Jessie was horrible. I'm sorry." I said softly, reaching up to push my sunglasses to the top of my head as the sun made its way down, casting the festival in an orange-pink glow that made me think of Arabella again.
It was fairly easy for me to pick up on the pink thing. I noticed she would wear it when she was in a good mood, that she eyed pink flowers over other colors, that her nails were generally painted pink. Anyone who paid even the tiniest bit of attention to her would notice it was her favorite color, which is why I wore it the day after our fight. I thought it might soften her up a bit toward me.
I saw the way her eyes flickered over it when I entered her shop. I could see the shock and confusion on her face, like she couldn't believe that I knew about her affection toward the color. How could I not, when I held such affection for her? Then I remembered that I didn't let her know of my affections, so of course she would be surprised. She was under the impression that I hated her, which was unfortunately how things had to stay.
"You're thinking of her." Buffy said in a quiet tone, her lips turning up into a sly smile.
"What?" My neck snapped to look over at her, "What are you talking about?"
"You get this look on your face." She smiled, nudging my hip with her own, "I can't explain it. It's like glitter in your eyes. Plus, you almost smile every time."
"I almost smile." I repeated with a scoff, "I know that's not true."
"You do! It's about half of a smile. Just admit it! You're thinking about her!!"
"I am not thinking about Arabella." I stated sternly, shaking my head.
"I never said who..." Buffy said in a smug tone, smiling as I glared over at her, "You filled that blank in on your own which only proves my point."
"There is no other option, you twat. You wouldn't get excited over me thinking about Jessie so who else is there but Arabella?" I shrugged, trying to convince her as much as myself as I continued on, "There is no glitter or almost smile. There's not an 'almost' anything. You are making something out of nothing. Quit being delusional."
"God, you are more stubborn than ever," she huffed out, "Okay. Fine. If there is no 'almost' anything, then I suppose you don't mind us meeting up with her? She's around here with River somewhere."
"Absolutely not." I shook my head. Despite looking for her all night, I only wanted to get a glimpse of her through the crowd. That's the only hit that I needed. If she got too close, I would surely do something stupid.
"Oh look, there they are! Just in time for the Big Bang!" She pointed, smiling brightly at me, as she hooked her arm into mine and started dragging me in their direction.
"You did this on purpose." I growled down to her, watching her smile grow.
"So?" She laughed, nodding over at them, "Don't act like you don't want to see her. You're always down for a good fight and she's always down to give you one."
I looked where she nodded and felt my heart start to race when I saw Arabella walking in our direction with River. Every time I saw her I was shocked by the vibrancy of her. Not just her looks, but the way she carried herself. I had never known anyone who exuded such confidence and sensuality.
Her hair was down and in it's usual wavy state. She wore a tiny black sundress with little white flowers all over it and huge black combat boots, like always. She had a strawberry ice cream cone in one hand and she was laughing in between licks. My eyes zeroed in on her tongue as it slid over the ice cream, her gentle fingers twisting the cone. Of course she was a strawberry girl—she was all pink, all the time.
Blinking out of my haze, I dug my heels into the ground to stop Buffy from pulling me, watching her turn to glare when I suddenly wouldn't budge from my spot. I couldn't get near Arabella. I couldn't. I couldn't.
"I'm not hanging out with her." I said sternly, "I'm drawing the line. Pick a side."
"These are my friends, Harry. Why do you have to act like this? Can't you two just ignore each other?!" She yanked at my arm again, only managing to pull me one step forward.
I looked over at Arabella again, realizing how much closer to us she had gotten as I argued with Buffy. She was staring back at me this time. Her lips turned up into a devious smirk as she had another lick of her ice cream—this one much slower and more deliberate than the others. I narrowed my eyes at her as they approached and watched her mirror my look, glaring back at me.
"Hey B... and Harry." River said with a grin, "Fancy seeing you here."
"Shocking, really." I said sarcastically, glancing over at him, "In a town this big..."
Arabella rolled her eyes, turning to glare at Buffy, "I told you to leave him at home."
"And let you miss out on a night full of my good looks and charm? I think not!" I replied, pressing a hand to my chest, acting offended at the thought.
"Don't talk to me." She said, lifting her eyebrows, "And I won't talk to you."
"Finally something we can agree on." I snapped at her, crossing my arms over my chest and turning to look at Buffy, "Well... lead the way, Judas."
She laughed at that and reached out to grab Arabella by her arm, tugging her close, as River and I fell in line behind them. The smell of her perfume blew into my face when the wind tousled her hair and my heart jumped at the scent. My eyes trailed over her long, shiny waves and down further, unable to stop myself from watching her hips sway in that dress. The damned thing barely covered her ass.
River let out a short laugh and I looked over at him. He smiled back at me in a very cheeky manner, letting me know that he was watching me as I checked Arabella out. I glared at him and looked away, making sure not to let myself get caught staring at her ass again.
The girls talked as Buffy led us through the crowd to our usual spot to watch the lights. Arabella and River exchanged a look when we got to a bench near the carousel.
"It's painfully obvious that you two are Highlanders. C'mon. We know a much better spot to watch from." Arabella ordered us, starting to lead us through the dense crowd again.
I wound up walking right behind her, almost next to her, and I glanced down to see her still licking that damn ice cream as she walked. I wanted to knock it out of her hands instead of watching her tongue slide over it in such a seductive manner.
She glanced over and met my stare during one last lick and I clenched my jaw at the sight of it, forcing my eyes away from her. She laughed softly, like she was enjoying this. I was relieved when I finally heard the crunch of her taking a bite of the waffle cone. She wouldn't be able to torture me anymore with those slow, dangerous licks.
She led us toward the Fun House, waving at the older man who sat at the top of the stairs. I recognized him from my years of coming here. He'd been in charge of the Fun House as long as I could remember. He gave her a huge smile back, waving at her as she led us up the stairs toward him.
"Hey Bobby!" Arabella grinned, "Okay to go in?"
His eyes turned to me immediately, staring at me in a way that froze me in my place. I hoped to god he wouldn't remember me from my terrible teen years, but I worried that he had placed me as soon as he saw me.
"Airy, you smell like Highlanders. I see you picked one up along the way." The man eyed me carefully. I swallowed, turning to look down at Arabella immediately.
"You don't know Harry? He's a Wastelander, I can't believe you two have never met." She said smoothly, her hand coming up to whack me in the center of the chest like a signal.
I read her mind easily. I offered my hand to Bobby, "Hey. Good to meet you."
The older man shook my hand, squinting at me and taking his time to study my gestures, "Guess you look kind of familiar, but I know you weren't born here. Nice try, Airy. He has a fancy accent."
"C'mon, Bobby. He's lived here for ages. He's an honorary Wastelander. You know I wouldn't double cross you." She put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed, "You can trust me."
He grunted softly and nodded at her, unlocking the gate and opening it up to her, "Go on in. You know the rules. Out as soon as the lights go up."
Arabella leaned forward and planted a kiss on his weathered cheek, "Thank you!"
I eyed him once more before following behind her, hearing River and Buffy snickering behind us as we entered the empty Fun House. I had fucked around in this Fun House many times when I was younger. I remembered all the chaos me and my friends caused as teens in here. Since you walked through at your own pace, everyone took advantage of that and hid in it much longer than they were supposed to. My friends and I got high and shared bottles of vodka inside the Fun House more than once.
Following Arabella through the house, I thought about her calling me a Wastelander and how natural that title felt to me. There was a time when I would have been offended beyond belief to be called that, but right then it felt like a badge of honor. Especially from her lips.
"So... what does he have against Highlanders?" I asked, keeping my voice low so that only Arabella would hear me.
She was quiet for a long time, so long that I thought maybe she didn't hear what I said. I followed her through different rooms and toward the stairs, which she started up quickly. Her skirt bounced up and down as she hopped up them, exposing a pair of pink cotton underwear that made my chest tighten up. My mind immediately flashed to a fantasy of my fingers pressing against her, feeling the wet material under my thumb. I stifled a groan as I forced my mind back to the conversation at hand when she began to talk again.
"There's been a few incidents." She started to say, reaching the top of the staircase and continuing on to another one that was hidden behind a curtain that was clearly meant for employees only, "Mostly Highlanders getting wasted or high in his Fun House and destroying parts of it, which takes time and money to fix. Bobby struggles a lot, he doesn't need more expenses. So he's just wary of anyone from the Highlands, but especially anyone who may have been an asshole teenager."
Guilt plagued me as I remembered that there were plenty of times when my horrible friends and I were messing around and acting reckless. I had definitely destroyed property once or twice, never on purpose but... I never offered to pay for it either.
I swallowed harshly, meeting Arabella's eyes, knowing that as soon as she looked at me, she understood that I had been one of those Highlanders at one point. I opened my mouth to explain myself to her, but she turned away from me, causing me to press my lips together tightly. I followed behind her in silence as we made our way all the way up to the rooftop of the Fun House.
The view was magnificent. It blew our usual view out of the water. You could see everything from up here. We'd see the entire festival light up all at once, something I'd never seen before. The only better view than this might have been the top of the Ferris wheel, but getting to see the wheel itself being lit up with the rest of the festival seemed much better.
My eyes flickered over to look at Arabella, breathing out a content sigh as I gazed at her features. Her eyes sparkled as she took in her town, a serene look on her face. She must have felt me staring. She turned toward me, meeting my eyes, and I felt that same punch to the gut I always felt when she looked at me.
"I was an asshole teenager." I muttered quietly, hoping that she would understand that I wasn't that kid anymore. I would never do that shit now and I wished I could go back and kick my younger self's ass for ever doing it.
"I know." She replied, lifting her eyebrows and giving me a sad little smile, "I remember you now."
"You do?" I asked, my eyebrows pulling together. I turned my head to glance at Buffy and River, but they were giving us space, standing on the other end of the roof and talking quietly.
"Vaguely. I didn't when we... when I..." She paused, looking away from my gaze, "I didn't back then. I remember your face now. We obviously didn't run in the same circle or interact, but yeah, I remember seeing you around."
"I don't remember you at all." I breathed out, shaking my head.
We could hear the announcement from down below begin. The mayor of the town was announcing the annual Lights Up Festival and explaining its history. I've heard this speech so many times that I could recite it myself. I continued to stare at her, even as she looked away from me. How strange it was that I felt the same gut punch when she looked away from me, as I did when she looked right at me.
Both hurt the same, just in different ways.
"You wouldn't remember me." She whispered, "I made myself a ghost. I didn't want to be noticed."
"Why?" I asked before I could stop myself.
This was why I tried to keep myself away from her. Every time I spoke to her, I found myself more and more intrigued by everything she was. I had to know her. I couldn't stop myself from trying to learn new things about her every time I was near her. That's why I deemed it best that I just stay away from her.
Arabella laughed quietly, only a whisper of it, "Lots of reasons."
"Give me one." I replied, watching her roll her eyes.
"How about none?" She crossed her arms, looking down from the Fun House, toward all the people walking back and forth.
I didn't press her, but I wanted to. I wanted to crack open her skull and let her thoughts spill out all over me. I wanted to swim in them and do laps surrounded by every word that dripped from her mind. I wanted to know her. I wanted her to let me in. At the same time, I knew that knowing her would only hurt me in the end.
Shifting slightly, I inched closer to her body. The wind picked up the edges of her long hair and it blew toward me. Strands of it brushed over my arm closest to her and I shivered under its gentle caress.
The countdown began.
10... 9...
"I wouldn't have wanted someone like you to notice me." She said softly, finally. She lifted her hand to push her hair out of her face. Her eyes stayed pointed out at the festival, her arm brushing against mine when she dropped it.
8... 7...
"Why?" I asked her.
6... 5...
"Look at you." She whispered with a shake of her head. Her eyes turned to look up at me, "And look at me. You're... beautiful."
My heart was pounding. I knew I was good looking. That was never something I had been afraid to acknowledge. But beautiful. Nobody had ever called me that. Especially not anyone who made me feel the way Arabella made me feel. My cheeks flushed and I knew they turned red.
4... 3...
"Stupid girl." I murmured affectionately, shaking my head slightly at her. She turned to look at me, eyebrows pulled together in confusion until she saw the look on my face.
I knew if I spent time with her I would act recklessly. I didn't care that we were with River and Buffy. I didn't even check to make sure they weren't looking at us. I just reached over and I brushed the back of my knuckles over hers, gently moving my fingers around to touch her palm. Her lips parted in a quiet gasp as she turned her eyes from me to stare out at Juniper Bay.
2... 1...
The lights came up as our fingers intertwined.
My chest tightened at the direct contact, the ache inside of me growing for her. I couldn't even look at the town, despite knowing this may be my only chance to see it lit up from here. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her, the silhouette of her face reflecting the golden hue from all of the bright, twinkling lights. It was like staring at the sun.
Her chest was rising and falling quickly with each breath. Her fingers tightened around mine and we both squeezed our palms together for a long moment. She didn't look at me again. She just gave my hand another squeeze and I knew it was time to let go. We released our hold on one another in unison. I realized I was holding my breath and released it slowly. I still couldn't manage to tear my eyes off her.
I saw the exact moment her features changed.
Her back went straight and her whole body stiffened as she took one step forward. Her hands reached out to touch the ledge of the rooftop. She gripped it tightly, her knuckles going white. She looked like she was going to be sick.
"Airy?" I muttered, the nickname I'd heard Buffy use for her so often coming out of me naturally.
She didn't answer me. She stared down at the festival below us for a long moment, breathing heavily, and then she turned and stormed away. I took a moment to look down at the ground below us, searching for what she could have been staring at, but I saw nothing.
"Arabella!" I called out after her, looking over to River and Buffy to see if they knew what the hell was going on. They both looked confused as they watched her stomp off, turning to glare at me next.
"What did you do?" Buffy asked me angrily, smacking my chest.
"I didn't do anything! She just ran away!" I huffed out as I started after her, running down the stairs with River and Buffy on my tail end.
The three of us clattered through the Fun House, pushing past people that were just entering, throwing out apologies in our wake. We got outside of it and started toward the exit.
"Thank you!" I made sure to call out to Bobby, giving him a thumbs up as we ran past, "Gorgeous view, really!"
Bobby gave a wave and a smile as he watched us go.
I stopped when I spotted her standing with her back to the Ferris Wheel. She was staring at one of the games where you and someone next to you both aim water guns at a target in a race.
"Oh no." River said softly, wincing as he saw what Arabella was staring at in disbelief.
Him and Buffy stopped short but I kept going until I was standing next to Arabella again, my eyes on the game as well. Sitting there, laughing and having fun, were Finn and Dani. She giggled and reached over to push him, which made him laugh. His hand shot out to cover her eyes playfully and she laughed louder, both of their cheeks bright with color.
They looked like they were on a date.
Arabella was breathing heavily as she watched. Neither of them even noticed her as Finn won the game and selected a stuffed elephant as a present for Dani. She squealed happily and hugged him around the waist when he handed it to her, the two of them walking off together, arm in arm.
I couldn't fathom how he could be so close to Arabella and not feel her there. How he could get up and walk away without knowing that she was standing only a few feet behind them. How he could be right there and not feel her heart shatter. I could feel it. I would have felt it even if I weren't next to her.
She started to back away and I could see the tears in her eyes when she turned and started toward the Ferris Wheel.
"She hates the fucking Ferris Wheel..." River groaned, starting to follow after her, but I put my hand up to stop him.
"I've got her. Stay here."
I knew they both probably thought I was insane for thinking I'd be the one Arabella would want to follow after her. But I knew her better than they both thought I did. I knew that even if she didn't want to talk about what happened, she likely would want a distraction to keep her mind off it. She was similar to me in that way. She was always looking for a way to keep her mind off the pain she felt inside. I could offer her that. I knew she was going to rip me to shreds, knew our soft moment was over and we were going to fight like hell, but I didn't mind.
I would let her use me any way she wanted to.
Hi angel faces!!!! I hope you liked this chapter... I swear, every Harry chapter is my favorite. I thoroughly enjoy writing in his POV, he's got such a soft interior and it makes things more painful which I love. ;)
Love you all sm!! Heading to IG now for a fun little Q&A if anyone wants to pop in !
xx Aubs