"Silence means 'please be happy' and tears means 'I truly loved you'
•••
"Jin hyung, he is okay now, right?" the blue eyed-man asks, eyes full with worry for his angel.
The doctor looks at him somehow concerned; thing what makes the other one even more worried.
After Taehyung arrived at the restaurant that Joshua had told him on the phone, he saw Jungkook fainted. To say that he was a real panicked man is understandable. After all, Jungkook suffers from cancer, and this disease is not just a cold or something, is more serious. He succed to ignore the fact that his angel had Joshua's jacket on him, because yeah, it wasn't the right moment for a jealousy act. He is glad that Joshua didn't came with them at the hospital though- yeah, Taehyung can be really territorial sometimes.
"Tae, the things aren't exactly pink." the man in white-robe comments and the other one gulps hardly.
"Have things ever been pink?" The CEO tries to joke, but the older one doesn't look amused at all.
"Tae, his medical tests does not look good at all, on the contrary, and worse than before. Has anything happened in the last few days? He seems to have completely neglected his body." Jin says and the other one looks at the floor, then nods.
"Yeah, actually... After I left the hospital with him that day, I had an argument with him and he ran back home. That's why he didn't took care of him anymore and I couldn't take care of him either." Taehyung explains, starting to play with his fingers, feeling really anxious.
"I think it would be best for him to stay in the hospital for now and start treatment, and as soon as possible, an operation. It is better to take the problem in advance than to be sorry later." Jin says after, while the younger one remains speechless a few seconds.
What? Jungkook needs to stay in the hospital and start treatment? He should have an operation as soon as possible? This means is really so... serious already? Well, Taehyung knew even from before that the bunny boy will need to be hospitalized in a few days, but now, when he is in the face with this fact... it makes him scared. More than just scared.
"Is really so serious? I mean... please tell me honestly, Jin hyung. How bad is?" Taehyung asks. hands sweaty, breathing heavily.
"You have to understand, this disease is extremely cruel, Taehyung. If you want Jungkook to heal well as soon as possible, we should start the treatment as soon as possible. I hope you convinced him, we can't hospitalize him if he doesn't agree." the doctor says and the blue eyed-boy opens his mouth to answers, but then he just sighs.
"I haven't succeeded yet. I just can't snap from his head the idea that he's going to die. Every time I talk about it, he says it doesn't have any point. He says his parents underwent treatment and many surgeries, but they still ... died. And I...I don't have any idea how can I convince him. He is stubborn, really stubborn." the CEO admits and the older one smiles a little, then gets up from the chair.
"Then you have to be even more stubborn. If you truly love him, you must to convince him somehow. I know you can do everything, once you really want something."
Taehyung smiles a little, then nods. He loves him a lot, he truly does. And Jin has right. He must to keep trying, until he will be able to convince Jungkook. He will succeed.
"I love him a lot. And you have right, I must to convince him. Thank you, Jin hyung. For everything." the younger one says and the older one nods, then becomes more serious.
"I'm still on my shift, so you need to check on other patients. You can go to Jungkook if you want, he must already be awake." the doctor comments, and the other one just nods, then goes out from Jin's office.
Taehyung doesn't understand why he feels so ... agitated. He doesn't understand what the hell is going on with this unpleasant feeling he's had for a few days. It's probably nothing more than the CEO's paranoid mind, but still ... he can't get over this unpleasant feeling, no matter how much he wants to. But this can't be tied to Jungkook, he'll be fine. He must be fine not matter what.
One step and one more. When Taehyung is in front of Jungkook's room, he takes a deep breath, then puts a smile on his face. Whatever happens, he must be strong. For Jungkook, for his angel. He doesn't have to show any other signs of weakness, at least not now, when the bunny boy needs all the support he can get.
After taking courage and slowly opening the door, the smell of medicine makes him to scratch his nose a little. But then he sees him. The robe he wears is big for his thin body, at his right hand- on his wrist, he has some perfusion connected, and on his face, an oxygen mask. Jungkook probably heard his footsteps, as he slowly removes his mask from his face.
"Wait, love, you need-"
"I am ok, Tae." the curvy haired-boy interrupts him, then he looks directly in his eyes. "I am sorry." he whispers after, and the older one frowns, more than just confused.
He then sits down on the chair next to the other's bed, and takes his right hand between his. He doesn't like the fact that his angel's hand is so cold, it's so lifeless. But for now, he has to talk about something else.
"Why are you sorry, love? You did nothing wrong." Taehyung comments and the other one smiles, but behind his smiles, is nothing but just pain.
"I did something wrong. I was born." the younger one mumbles but the CEO hears anyway, making his heart to ache instantly at this comment.
"Jungkook!" he raise his voice, but after he takes a deep breath, and close his eyes a couple of seconds. "Kook, why are talking again in this way?" this time his voice is softer, but full somehow broken as well.
This shit hurts like crazy. To love someone with all your heart, to give him your soul and everything you have, to cherish him with all your being ... But when it comes to him, to hate himself, to always say that he is a mistake, that it should not have existed. Well, this is another level of suffer. It breaks your heart to pieces, while your soul begins to scream in pain. Because what could be more painful than seeing the love of your life struggling with his own desire to live?
"But it's true, Tae. " Jungkook's voice takes the CEO out of meditation, then he looks at him intently. "It would have been better not if I wasn't born in the first place. That way I wouldn't have suffered so much. " he says later and smiles, and once again, Taehyung is totally amazed (this time not in a good way) by his boyfriend.
How can he say that with a smile on his face? How can he still try to pretend that he is not hurt, that everything is okay, while he is more than destroyed inside? Just how? How strong he can be, or why he must to be so strong?
"But if you hadn't been born, you wouldn't have met Yoonhyo, you wouldn't have saved him that day, and we wouldn't have known each other, angel." Taehyung says, while Jungkook just looks at him, not knowing what he can answers. "I know, Kook. I know that... the life was awfully unfair, and she still is, with you. I know it seems a lot easier, if you could just ... delete everything, or skip, like a cheap ad. But bun, this is called being alive, breathing. That means being mature, being able to get over the suffering, and no matter how much you fall, getting up from the ground up." the older one continues, and the younger one moves his teary eyes to the ground.
"But what if we can't getting up again at a point? If ... we feel that everything is too much and that we can't win again? " Jungkook asks, a tear escaping from his left eye, while the other one just looks at him, or better to say, at his pale face.
"Then we can ask someone else to pick us up, to be there for us. We can cry for help if is too much for us, alone. Every time we feel alone, we must remember that we have several people who love us, who care about us and would do anything they could, just to make sure that we are well, happy." the blue eyed-man says, voice low yet still soft. "And I am here, Jungkook. I am here and I will do everything do make you better, to be sure that you... you will stay be my side in this life, and in the future ones." he comments after, while the other's heart jump over a few beats.
Yes, even if he is in this situation, even if he feels more than bad, he could not avoid Taehyung's words. He could not lie and say that he does not cure him, at least he does heal his soul, if he cannot heal his body. And just the thought of Taehyung really loving him so much makes him want to smile, even though tears are already on his face. Just the thought that he cares so much, forces the younger one not to give up, to keep fighting, or at least to try.
"Tae." Jungkook calls him by name, and the other smiles weakly - he loves to hear his name in this way. "You always tell me how much you love me, how ... how much I mean to you. " he says and the other just nods, then begins to wipe the tears from his cheeks. "But I don't really do it, I don't really tell you things like that. But ... but I hope you know, I hope you know how much ... how much I love you. " he says after, a little bit shy, even if he is in this situation.
The older one looks at him without words for a few seconds, really surprised. Jungkook really doesn't tend to say such things, and even if he doesn't mind the CEO, he would like to hear it sometimes. And now, he would be lying if he said he didn't feel like taking flight. But unfortunately, his wings have been cut off due to Jungkook's illness.
"Really? How much do you love me?" Taehyung asks in an more relaxed tone, and the younger one bites his lower lip - he's not used to saying syrupy things, but he can try, if that makes the other one happy.
After all, Taehyung always says words to him that make him smile and fall more and more in love with him (if it makes any sense) so why can't he say something like that too? Maybe if he ... maybe if he dies soon, the other one will sometimes remember the moments like that- when he said things like that.
"Before you came into my life, I felt like ... I was caught in the middle, somewhere between life and death. I lived only to take care of my mother, but after I got home alone ... I felt like I was slowly dying." the younger one begins and the other one listens to him, catching all the words.
There is a silence a few seconds, then the curvy haired-boy continues:
"I realized from the beginning that you and Yoonhyo would become the pieces I was missing from the puzzle called "happiness" but I didn't want to admit it. And I tried to push you aside, to run away from what I really wanted, but in the end, I realized that it was useless to hide... to hide my feelings for you." he continues then glance at the older one. "Taehyung, I will always love you more than anything else, and in any life, I will carry your love with pride. You are the sun that destroyed all the black clouds in my sky, you're the harp song I've become addicted to. So yeah... I truly love you. More than you can imagine." he finishes while the other one gets up from the chair, then he approaches the face of his angel.
"My little, sweet poet." the older one whispers, then smiles and gently sticks his lips to the other's. "I can not see my life without you, angel." he says after he breaks the kiss." Not now, when I understood how it feels to be in heaven, when I tasted how sweet the love can be. You can not leave me, at least not when I still breath at my turn." he continues and the younger one smiles weakly.
"I will try to... I will try to hold tight on my life as long as possible, Tae. But ... but if I have to go, you have to let me." the curvy haired-boy comments, but the other one just kiss his forehead softly.
"No love. I'm selfish, I can never let you go. After all, we're soulmates, we live together, we die together. So if you want to go... you have to take me with you." he whispers the last part, then both of them smile.
______
Woah, I managed to post another chapter even today uwuuuu (why is more fluffy that angsty pff?)
Maybe is not so beautiful, but I had zero inspiration, sorryyy
I hope u liked even a little bit, and see u at the next one
Ps. After I will finish this book, I want to take a break for editing some old books hehe