He wore a fresh blue hoodie with some logo splashed across the front, jeans, sneakers, and a baseball cap over his sandy blond hair. An ordinary appearance in a surreal setting. There was an unzipped black backpack at his feet. He didn't notice me yet, but then, his attention was focused on the Maxim magazine clutched in his lily white fingers. White with black veins visible from my end cap lookout, at last I found another one. I padded up to him and reached out to tap him on the shoulder. At the last second, he whipped around.
"Oh god, the Grudge!" He screamed, throwing the magazine in the air. By the time it plopped to floor between us, he had his arms up, shielding his face, peaking at me around his elbow.
"The Grudge? Really? Asshole!" I kicked his shin for good measure.
"Ow," he dropped his arms, going to rub his leg with a frown. "That didn't hurt." The frown stayed on his face as he got a good look at me. "You're wearing a pink Hello Kitty shirt."
It took a lot of willpower not to smack my forehead. "Finally find someone like me and he's a freaking genius."
"Jeeze, sorry Grudge girl, maybe you shouldn't sneak up on people." He bent down to snatch up the magazine, stuffing it into his bag. "Wait, did you say first?"
"Yeah, smartass, you're the first lively dead person I've found." Hands on my hips, I inspected his face. Like me, he appeared mostly intact, though he sported a downright nasty gap of skin along his neck. I could see the muscles move when he spoke.
"I haven't seen anyone like me either. I thought I was the only one," he gaze drifted behind me. "Uh, who are they?"
"Oh, them," I rolled my shoulders, "those are my boys."
"Your boys?" He straightened, the light hitting his eyes. Wow, what a side effect. The irises were an iridescent dark blue, the blood vessels running through the eyeball just dark enough to give them a webbed, faceted appearance, like real gem stones, odd and beautiful at the same time. What do I end up with? Eyeballs of the void, that's what, so unfair.
"Yeah, I kinda made them. Tall one's Bert, other one's Ernie."
One brow shot up. "You named them after Muppets? That's harsh, Grudge girl."
"Stop calling me that, I have a name."
He made a noise, could have been a snort; it was a bit twangy, with the hole in his throat. "Do tell, because I can't remember shit, including my name."
It was my turn to frown. "I remember a couple of letters. Do you remember anything?"
He looked upward, tapping his chin. His hands were fully restored. Maybe he had no skin somewhere really embarrassing, like his ass. "I remember being really good at video games, I knew all the secret levels in 'Grand Theft Auto'. My favorite food was nacho cheese Doritos, and I know the names of all the Playmates from the 2014 Playboy calendar."
"Good to see you have your priorities straight."
He gave me a sour look, crossing his arms. "First person I meet like me and she's a bitch." Okay, he had me there. I took a surly stance with him right out the door, but hey, the guy compared me to a horror movie ghost. I didn't look that awful.
"We got off on the wrong foot. Maybe we can start over? I'm Li," I proffered a gloved hand. He stared at it for a moment before giving it a firm shake.
"Well, Li, bitch or not, you're better company than the other zombies I've met." He scooped up his back pack, dumping a few more Maxim's in it before zipping it up. "Do you mind if I join your, uh, group? I don't have any plans."
Least I had someone to sing '99 bottles' with now. "What do I call you?"
He shrugged. "Dunno, I tried to think of names the whole way here, nothing felt right." I took in his whole appearance, the low key clothing, the slouched posture, gamer boy attitude, and backpack full of skin mags, my own personal deadbeat. Deadbeat Fred, though he might protest the deadbeat bit.
"Fred," I said out loud.
He smirked, not showing his teeth. "Alright, Li. Do you have a plan?"
"My first plan was to acquire fresh clothes, and try to find others like me. I guess you count." I started walking, heading for my original destination, grabbing a few miscellaneous items here and there. "Now I'm trying to figure out what the hell happened."
"Looks like the end of the world to me."
"Aren't you the observant one." I snatched up a hair brush, a wooden one, had to be a wooden one. "So, looks like it was apocalypse by zombie horde after all, who saw that coming?"
"Of the many options open to us for planetary demise, I think it was at the bottom of my list." Deadbeat Fred paused in front of a display of candy bars, looking a little forlorn. "You know, I've been awake for nearly three days. I haven't felt hungry, not once."
"No urges to punch someone's skull open and eat their brains?"
He visibly shuddered. "No, honestly every time I see a corpse, it skeeves me out. The zombies don't but real dead people, nuh uh."
"I would avoid the ladies fitting room then." I eyed a rack of toothbrushes. It was hours ago, but I swear I still tasted essence of Ernie. I snagged one, a travel size tube of toothpaste and a small bottle of mouthwash. "What do you remember? When you woke up?"
Fred stared off in the distance, his crystal eyes unfocused. "I was in a field, mostly naked, watching my body do a reverse time lapse. I screamed, startled a bunch of birds, then ran, and I mean I booked it. I ran for hours before it hit me I wasn't breathing." He snapped back to the present with a shrug. "I had no idea who I was, or where I was, just saw a break in the trees and headed for it. Didn't sleep, didn't eat, didn't need to, kept walking till I hit asphalt, then I saw the Walmart sign. I wasn't cold, but it was weird having my wang hang out so here I am."
Compared to that wake up, mine was just icky and vaguely uncomfortable. Speaking of which, there was one element of Fred's story missing. "Was there a...body when you woke up?"
"Oh, you mean the alien I chowed on. Yeah, I started screaming when he melted into the ground."
Balls, he said the word. I squeezed my eyes shut, picturing my dead guy, my alien, the tripod legs, the mask, the bright purple brain matter all over my hands, sliding down my throat. I didn't want to think it, but Deadbeat Fred just laid it out on the table, didn't even hesitate, didn't try to reason his way out of it. I tried. "What makes you think they were aliens?"
"Ha, I knew it, you ate one too!" He slapped his knee, far too excited for this conversation. "Aliens, man, now they show up. Where were they before everyone turned into the flesh eating undead?"
"Why are they here?" I grabbed a pair of sun glasses, dropping them in the Poppins bag. "And, why just a few? We each, er, ate one, but why were they alone? Most of the zombies I've met are pretty rotted away, but they're mobile, obviously still dangerous, since we both managed to kill."
Fred tapped his chin again, clearly his thinking gesture. "Maybe we can catch one."
"How do you propose we carry out that plan, chief? Because I have no idea where one will show up. I don't even know how they got here."
"They used a ship. Duh."
"What?"
Fred blinked at me. "Didn't your guy have a ship? I was whacked out of my gourd but there was definitely a vessel of some sort in that field."
"We totally need to go back to that field. Do you think you can find it again?"
He nodded. "When I ran, I circled through it. I streaked across that field six times before I stopped. It was a straight shot through the woods to here."
"If we are seriously going to try and catch one of these things, we'll need supplies." I peered upward, trying to read the department labels in the rapidly fading light. There was another super power I've been gypped out of; I couldn't see in the dark. "We'll need rope, some kind of weapon. Did you see any guns wandering around here?"
"I don't know how to use a gun." Deadbeat Fred trotted along beside me. "Do you?"
No, I didn't. What fragmented memories I did have made it pretty clear I did not have an affinity for firearms. "We'll figure something out."
The solution presented itself right as we entered the area. This I could work with. You could say it called to me, simple, straight forward, instrumental. I grabbed two.
***Folks, this one was probably the hardest chapter for me to write. I had a lot of trouble with the opening dialogue between Fred and Li. Any and all comments and suggestions welcome. Votes appreciated.***