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Nanon's pov
Finally today is the day. The day i was most awaiting and most feared has come. I woke up early because i couldn't sleep well thinking of what will happen today. I done all the morning routine and took shower. I ate my breakfast well. Looking from outside, it seems that i am totally calm without any worries but inside i am having butterflies in my stomach ( not in a way that you will get when you see your loved ones but these butterflies are fluttering because of my anxiety ). Early morning Ohm texted me that he will pick me up today and said that he already told my manager about him picking me. He is always like this, he will inform me after he completes all the arrangements. I was sitting in my couch now. The doorbell rang indicating that i have a visitor which will be none other than Ohm. I took my bag and phone and opened the door. Ohm stood their with his almighty appearance flexing his muscles. One thing that i get jealous of is his muscled body. It takes lots of workout to get that body but i am not that much diligent in working out.
Shall we go?
Ohm's question brought me out of the trance and i said yes. Then he got my bag from me which is very unusual. We entered into the elevator, both of us are silent which is really very awkward. When we were together, we will never be silent. We will be teasing, fighting and beat each other. But being silent now is really uncomfortable. I tried to talk with him when the elevator dinged signalling that we reached the ground floor. We walked out and get on the car. He started the car and now it is more silent. I tried to play the radio in his car to make the atmosphere ease.
Connect the bluetooth.
Huhh..
The songs you like will not play in the radio so connect to your phone and hear the song you like.
Then i switched on the bluetooth and i played the song we both like. We both hummed to the song and the atmosphere became less awkward. We soon reached the shooting spot.
P'Aof gave us the dialogue paper and we both revised our dialogues. We started shooting the scenes in order so that we can grasp the fresh feelings. So we first shooted the music contest successfully and then we all went to lunch. Then Pat's confession to Ink was shot. It soon became dark when we completed those scenes. Then the bar scene was shot at the evening and now the shooting of fight scene will start. Everything went smoothly, i was worried about Ohm and Jimmy because the shot should be realistic so they have to hit each other with light force and heavy emotions. I was worried what if their emotions overpowered and they really hit each other.
But Ohm and Jimmy acted out the scene very well and i really felt relieved. P'Aof told us that this scene is the award worthy scene and i am very happy to hear that, he is also very satisfied with our acting and it also happened only because of our teamwork. Then moving on to the most sad and difficult scene, the directors and crew members all moved to the rooftop. I was trying to get the emotions of Pran and i really felt heavy thinking of Pran. Then we started filming the scene. I was totally immersed into the role, when the director said Action, i completely transformed to Pran.
At first i was angry at Pat for behaving like that in front of wai and then he speak like he has some emotional connect to that song but back then in front of the building he said that it is a lousy song. He is giving me hope by saying those things and i dont want to be hopeful because i know that how things will end. He asked me what is our relation. I also dont know what is the relation pat and I are having right now. We are neither friends nor enemies but my feelings for him are more than that. When he said that he was lonely when i got transferred and not been there with him, it broke my heart completely. I only thought about myself and didn't think about him on how he would have felt at that time. I was lonely without him likewise he is also alone without me. He asked me whether we can be called as friends. But i don't want that. I cannot limit my feelings for him in the name of friendship but i really can't express to him how i feel. So i asked back if he wants us to be friends. Those few seconds he didn't answer felt like years to me, my heart was beating so hard. I want to know what he think he of me.
No
The grippy feeling in my heart vanished and i felt relieved. A teardrop fell from his eyes, i cannot see him crying. I don't want him to get hurt because of me and others. I want to wipe his tears. Then, he moved forward and i also unconsciously stepped forward. He leaned down and kissed me. My heart beats fast and i felt piercing pain in my heart. But I wanted this moment for us. I forgot about everything our family enemity, our group rivalry, my hidden feelings.. everything and kissed him back. He moved away and stared at my eyes. I felt that kiss is not enough to compensate my feelings that i stuffed into myself all those years, i wanted more. So this time i moved forward and kissed him. He held me and i held him and we kissed pouring our feelings for each other in that kiss. I want to transmit all my feelings and love for him through that kiss. Then we parted from each other, he smiled, i can see that he is now feeling totally relieved but i cried thinking about we can never be together even if we have feelings for each other. I don't want to start anything. Kissing him now itself is more, if i think of being with him then i will be more greedy. I walked away from him, he stood there realising what has happened and what will happen to us in the future.
CUT
The director said cut but i couldn't come out of the character and i felt very painful. Pat walked towards me and brought me to his room. I was crying all the way.
Nanon.. Nanon..
I know that i am nanon but i couldn't come out of the character. He hugged me and called my name again and again.
Nanon, its Ok. I am here. Look I am here only. We are together here right now. Nanon.. Please dont cry. I am Ohm and you are Nanon, ok?
I dont know what happened afterwards but now i am standing in front of Ohm's dorm and he is unlocking the door. When i was riding the car with him, i tried to compose my emotions and came out of that scene slowly but i still feel stuffy. Then Ohm brought me inside his dorm.
Go and take shower. I will keep clothes in the bed.
Then i went and took shower. This is not my first time coming to his dorm, i have been here many times and i know where he places everything. I took shower while thinking of what happened. Then a knock came.
Non, are you ok there?
I am ok, Ohm.
Okok.. Take your time.
I am happy how he cares for me. I really couldn't do this without him. I wrapped the towel and i came outside not wanting to make him more worried. I wore the clothes he kept on bed. It is his t-shirt and shorts. His clothes smelled like lemon detergent. Another smell wafted into my nose which is the smell of food, i went outside and saw that Ohm is cooking. He also took shower and changed his clothes, i think he showered in guestroom bath. I walked to the kitchen and stood beside him.
Oh, you came. Wait few minutes, food will be ready. You go and sit.
I continued standing beside him. He looked at me and smiled.
What, you can't be without me even for few minutes? *wink*
He teased me but i didn't retort anything and continued standing there next to him. He placed the food in two plates and brought them both to the table. I followed him and sat down and ate the food he made. He is a good cook but not excellent like me. We both finished eating and he is the one who did the dishes. I sat on the kitchen counter and continued watching him. Then after washing the dishes, we both headed to his room. He told me to lie down, then he also came and lied beside me after switching of all the lights leaving out the night lamp beside the bed. We both are silent, only the sound of our breathing was heard.
Non, are you ok?
He cleared out the silence with his question which is full of worries.
I already told you that i am okay.
You acted very well back there but you know that you shouldn't completely absorb your character, right?
I know..
There should always be a line between Nanon and the characters he act. I am not only saying to this character but for every role you will do. If you totally immerse, then it will give you pain only, ok?
The words he said clearly showed that he is genuinely worried about me. I was always like that immersing totally into whatever character i play. It is true that it gave me lots of pain. But as i continued acting, the experience changed this habit of mine. I can come out of the character after finishing the scene but today i couldn't, it felt like pran completely merged into me and we are one person. Rather than saying i turned into pran, i will say Pran and Non merged with each other, so only it took time for me to come out of that.
Ohm..
Mm..
Thanks..
I said and stared at him. He put his hands on me and brought me closer to him. Then he stared at me without saying anything. I know that he worries about me a lot. Then i put my hands on top of him and moved closer and hugged him. I don't know what things and all will change in my life after this but i have him. I have Ohm.