(A/N) Hey my lovlies! This is the second part of chapter 11. I don't know if I will be able to update again this week because of work! Love you all!! Thank you for all the reads!
Becca's POV
I got out of the hospital yesterday, and I am staying with Rachel and her mom till I get back on my feet.
Jamie has called every day wondering how I am. I always tell Rachel to tell him I'm busy or just sleeping.
This weekend is the Youth Conference at Hope Assembly of God, and to be honest I don't want to go.
Rachel keeps telling me over and over again that I need to go, so to shut her up about this whole God thing, I'm going.
I have firmly decided that I'm atheist. Where was God when I needed him? He wasn't there when I was crying on the inside, well still crying.
A slight rapping began on my door, getting louder at the minute."Becca?" Rachel called outside of the door.
"It's open, come in." I said while Rachel literally busted through the guest room, that I was staying in.
Rachel walked over to me, sighing greatly, she took one of my hands in her's.
She looked at the bandage that was on my pale colored limb.
The look on her face said it all, worry, concern, sadness, and fear. Rachel was the kind of person, that you could tell how she was feeling by the look in her eyes.Her blond hair tied up in a measly bun, with some loose curls framing her face. Her light grey eyes beaming into mine. Her eyes showed curiosity. I hadn't told her or anyone what happened at the hospital between Jamie and I. All she knows is that Jamie called her saying how he needed to go home. When she got to the hospital, she immediately began questioning me what happened. I couldn't tell her, I just couldn't.
She huffed a sigh, and ran her perfect manicured fingers over my rugged locks, and looked deeply into my eyes.
"Bec's, I'm only asking this once more. What happened between you and Jamie? And don't start saying "Nothing happened" cause I know something did. I saw your face when I walked in that room. That face meant something did happen. The look you had, of slight embarrassment and how flushed it was, how your lips were slightly swollen. Now I have my ideas of what happened, but I need to know the truth." She looked at me, while my mouth was gaping open in shock.
Was it really that obvious?
I took a deep breath and sighed heavily.
I gazed up into Rachel's eyes, so she could see that I'm being honest.
"He kissed me." I softly blurted out. Rachel's eyes widened. She even let out a little gasp.
Tears began to form and they started to cloud my vision, before I could do anything about them.
"He kissed you? What happened?"
I laid my head back on the soft fluffy down pillow and replayed the memory in my mind as I told Rachel.
"Well, I had awoken from a dream, that I will tell you about later, and I looked over at him taking in his presence. He woke up a few minutes later and scooted his chair to me. He asked me how I slept and I said pretty good for being in a hospital bed, and he complained he has to sleep in a chair. So i brought up about him going home and getting some sleep and he just looked at me, gazing into my eyes. Then he just kissed me." She looked at me like she was waiting for me explain more.
So I continued.
"At first, I didn't know what to do. I mean I've kissed boys, but he wasn't a boy, it was like kissing a man. I was too shocked to do anything, but it felt like minutes passed and my lips began to move with his. Rachel, that was the most intense kiss ever."
"Well, what happened that made him want to leave?"
I knew she would ask this. I braced myself and told her. "Well, the kiss got intense, and he deepened it, turning it into french. After, I was filled with so many feelings and I didn't know what to think. He looked at me and it looked like he instantly regretted it. He had pushed himself from me, physically and mentally. He had said he was sorry, but I felt sorry, so I told him that. And all of the sudden, he got angry telling me that it was just lust and sin, and how it shouldn't have happened. Then he called you and left."
She looked at me, mouth hanging wide open.
"Are you serious?" Rachel said, mouth still on the floor. "Wow! That's why you have been avoiding him, huh?"
"I've been avoiding him? Huh, is it that obvious?" I said looking a my cousin, still in shock.
"He calls every day, so does your mom. She wants to know when you are coming home."
I roll my eyes and huff a deep sigh. "She can ask and wonder all she wants, but I don't want to go home. She tells me she hates me everyday. I know she only does it when she's drunk, but i want to know what I did. You know to make her hate me."
Rachel, pulled her reddish locks out of the bun and ran a hand through her disheveled hair." I know. We all want to know, only God does though. All we can do is pray."
I looked at Rachel. How can she pray to a God that leaves me lonely and broken?
I pull my covers back up to my shoulders and close my eyes, wanting sleep to take over, but my cousin has other ideas. "So, tell me about this dream you had. You said you would tell me." I opened my eyes annoyed at my cousin, and began telling her my dream." Well, I don't know where I was, but it was beautiful. Anyways a voice spoke, it was a calming voice. He was saying, I think it was a he, to trust him and all this other stuff. Then he ended saying a verse from the bible I think it was a verse. It was for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Then he said I am the great I am. Then I woke up, with sweat dripping from my brow." Rachel looks at me, with her eyebrows raised in shock and confusion.
"Wow Becca. Was that the first one you have had?" She said looking at me with curiosity gracing her beautiful face. I think back to the first dream that I had when I was in the hospital. It replayed in my mind. The creatures than hung on me and the voice that calmed me. I could remember the look on my mothers face when she was kicking me..
I look over to Rachel, her facial expression breaking me from my thoughts.
"No, it wasn't." I said looking at Rachel. " I had one when I was in the hospital when I tried to hang myself. It was weird, though."
"Tell me about it." Rachel said.
I sat back and told her my dream.
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Jamie's POV
The whole time I have been thinking about Becca. She will not leave my mind. I have prayed so hard that God would allow her to eave my mind. So today I decided to go see my friend Sam, he will know what to do. I rushed out of the house and hopped into my cherry red convertible, and drove the qick ten minute drive to Sam's house. The trees were swaying in the breeze and the sun shining in the sky.
My thoughts began to flood with Becca, and the kiss. Ugh, I wish I could forget it, but I can't forget it. All I want is her lips back on mine, what am I saying? I silently began to pray. "Lord, please clear my mind of these unholy thoughts and Lord whatever plans you have let them be good." I said amen right as I pulled into Sam's long narrow driveway. His big one story house, is actually amazing on the inside, with the vibrant colors of yellows and oranges. He lives alone, with him being in his early twenties. I walked up to the the long, wide set of double doors and sighed knocking.
Sam answered the door, looking rather handsome in his dark wash jeans, and his bright blue button up polo, with his long brown hair cascading to his shoulders in long waves. His dark set blue eyes, shining in the light..
He threw his hand out to me and his soft husky voice saying" Hey, dude! What's up?" I grabbed his hand and pulled him into a bro hug.
"Dude, I need advice. I got problems." I said grabbing the back of my neck nervously.
"Sure dude, What's up?" He said as we walked over to the cushy in the main room.
I laid back on the soft plush three-seater couch and poured my heart out to my best friend.
"You remember that girl Becca I told you about?" I asked Sam, whilst he looked at me with interest and curiosity.
"Yeah I remember. What about her?"
I mentally slapped myself, before telling my best friend my "problems". I took a deep breath and replied, wondering what he will say next.
"Well, I found her almost dead and she had tried to kill herself. She was trying to bleed out. So I picked her up and rushed her to the ER, knowing my dad would know what to do. So, I ended up staying with her, no matter how many times her cousin Rachel told me to go home." His eyes light up at the name Rachel. That's interesting. I'll have to ask him about that later.
"Well, the day before she went home from the hospital, I don't know what came over me, but I kissed her." His face went to shock instantly.
"You, what?" His face growing into a huge grin, his eyebrows shooting up.
"Yeah, I kissed her. And now we both regret the kiss, and she's avoiding me. I think she's pushing me away. I don't know why, but I feel like drawn to her. I can't explain it."
"Well, the only thing I can say is, that wait it out. I mean you haven't known her long. Get to know her first, then try to become more than friends. Look, pray about it too, prayer always help." He says, his eyes looking solemn. I knew this was going to get here, talking about God. I mean don't get me wrong, I love God so much and he is first in my life, but I am a little angry at him for taking my brother from me and it was my fault. I still blame myself everyday for it. If I hadn't thrown the ball as far as I did, he would be here with me. I try to hold back the tears from the memory. I don't blame God, I blame myself.
"God and her aren't on good terms, I think. Every time I bring up God she snaps and I have no clue why. I have tried to get her to open up to me, but every attempt has failed."
"Maybe she resents him? Maybe something has happened that has made her not believe in him. Maybe something has happened traumatic to her and she is pushing God away, because she blames him." He says making a perfect assumption.
"Yeah, you are probably right. I'm gonna go see her. I want to get to know her." I say standing up.
Sam quickly strides to my side and places his hands on my shoulders. "Dude, I know you want to know about Rachel. But there isn't much to tell. We met at a Youth Convention like six months ago and we sort of hit it off, but now I can't tell if she has feelings for me or not. She hides them well. But I'll be honest, I miss her and we hardly talk anymore. Last time I saw her was when she and Becca were eating lunch one day where I worked. I flirted a bit trying to hint that I liked her, but she remained distant, but I don't know why."
I felt bad for Sam. I can tell he really likes Rachel. I'm still in shock that, my best friend likes the cousin of the girl, who has captured my heart. I just hope everything works out for them.
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After a few minutes of 'bonding time', I give Sam a "Bro" hug and walk out to my car and take the fifteen minute journey to Rachel's house, to talk to Becca.
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I pull into Rachel's long narrow driveway, and I park my car and strut to the front door and hesitate before knocking.
After a few minutes, I finally man up and knock on the pale, off white door.
After what feels like an eternity, Mrs. Kay, Rachel's mom.
Her blonde hair gracing her shoulders, falling down to her waist. Her bright grayish, blue eyes piercing mine. The baby blue skirt she is wearing, falls down to the bare maple, hardwood floor, complementing the off white off the shoulder crop top she is wearing.
"Jamie!" She exclaims. "What are you doing here?" She asked me. What could I say really? Oh, I;m here to see your niece, because we kissed and we need to talk about it? Heck no! I can't say that!!
"Oh, I'm just here to check on Becca. I wanted to see how she was doing. Is she home?" I mentally prayed she wouldn't be here. I don't know why I'm so nervous. Why did I even come here? Oh yeah right, I need to talk to her.
The plump, blond haired woman looked at me with generosity in her eyes.
"Yes, she's home. Let me get her." She stepped away from the and yelled into the open air, lifting her head towards the staircase. "Becca! You have a visitor." Her small voice sure is soft but it can carry when she shouts.
Within five minute, the brown locked girl, slowly made her way down the wooden stair case. She looked practically exhausted. Her hair is matted and there are bags slowly starting to form under her eyes, and she looks really thin. Has she even been eating.
She walked over to me and glared at me, her blue eyes burning holes into mine. My breath caught in my throat. Her form looks as beautiful as ever. She is the most gorgeous woman I have ever laid my eyes on.
"Jamie?" She questioned, her small voice slightly hoarse.
I looked at her, showing her that I want to talk to her alone.
"Can we talk outside?" She begged, pleading in her eyes. I nod my head and follow her to the back porch of her aunts angelic two story abode.
We make it to the patio, and she throws herself into my arms. I am caught off guard, as Becca begins to sob into my chest. Wait, what is going on here?
"Becca? What is going on? Why are you crying?" I plead with her, her eyes slightly beginning to swell due to the crying..
"Jamie.. My parents abuse me.."