I stood, slightly pressed against the guard who tried to keep me back, and stared at the 3 people before me.
Vince didn't even look at me, Armani sighed, then Milan stared directly through me. I swear I saw him curse under his breath, his eyes darkened and sank a little bit. I continued to look at him, he couldn't bare it, what was this, betrayal? He looked down to his expensive shoes.
Being paid by the Rossi's. Of course he can afford them. I never knew he had a job, never mind a job working for my family.
She was put into danger, under your partial supervision.
Why was my safety his responsibility? It didn't make sense. He was only a few years older than me, and knowing the protectiveness of my family, they would not put my safety in the hands of a teenager. It makes as much sense as putting milk before cereal.
I can't seriously be willing to bless my brother with my theory after he quite literally paid someone to get close enough to me, so that I would grow comfortable with him around. Is this some kind of sick joke? This whole thing, was it all fake?
'Why don't you come inside Alessa.' Armani finally broke the stunned silence, and invited me inside.
At this point, the guard had stepped back, and had made a clear path. There may as well have been a red carpet, all eyes were on me. But I didn't want to walk the carpet, I didn't want to go inside. 'Come on.' He repeated after he saw my hesitation.
My stubborn self huffed internally, pushed my pride aside and walked in with heavy feet. I travelled to the complete opposite side of the room, the warm browns only fuelling the heat I felt inside my chest.
I wanted to hurt everyone.
Sometimes I'm weak, and sometimes I'm broke, but now. What on earth was I supposed to feel, what would be an understandable way to react. Should I scream at my brothers, after everything they do for me? Should I pretend as though this doesn't bother me? Should I avoid Milan at school?
Why can't I have an ounce, just an ounce, of normality in my life.
Being born into a family, dominated by men involved in illegal businesses. Taken by my alcoholic mother to a country, half way across the world, just for her to be murdered in front of my eyes a few years later. I was then tortured endlessly, and later found out that I had a long lost family, living a double life, on the other end of the planet. I witnessed more torture, to me and to others, I met my dead relatives. The person I shared my first kiss with was apparently another bodyguard, and his fake friend wants me dead, because his father knows the Russian mafia, who are supposedly undercover, and working in this house.
When you fully take into account everything that has been experienced in your life, recently or previously, memories emerge that you didn't even know existed. Flashbacks, all the times people lied to me. Even twisting the truth is under the umbrella term of a lie.
Hurt, is what I felt. They say I can trust them, how am I supposed to give them something like that, when I have had issues with It my entire life.
I see my friends, living a carefree life in London. After Beth recovered, she began to go out again, finally doing all the things we used to do together. It feels so wrong, being locked up in a giant house, knowing that I am always under supervision, knowing that I need permission of a sibling before I can leave the bloody house.
And now, something I thought was an escape, school, new friends, a first. It was planned? Obviously not the kissing part, but the principle of the matter is that a supposed friend was paid for. How could I be so naive. Meeting him in the restaurant, doing what he did, and Romeo not skinning him alive.
If that randomly happened, I doubt Vince would find the courtesy to hold him back.
I wasn't even listening to their finishing conversation with Milan, I was sat down, on a sofa in the corner, my chin resting on the palm of my hand as I just thought. I only heard Milan exit the room with another guard who had come to escort him. I couldn't find the strength to even look up at him.
'What is the matter with the both of you?' I spoke up when the door closed, I didn't waste a second before saying something. I needed to get a word in before they magically contradict the situation. 'Him? Seriously?'
'Just let us explain before you do something rash.' Armani outstretched a hand from the other side of the room, signalling for me to calm down.
'Something rash? Who do you think I am, Romeo?' I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in frustration. 'I just don't understand why, I don't understand any of this.'
Armani looked to Vince with concern, the latter has since poured half a glass of whisky, and was ominously swirling the glass in his hand as he observed. His silence really pissed me off, he had a lot of nerve to do something like this, and he can't find the words to justify his actions.
'Stay calm.' He finally said.
'I'm sat down? What else do you want me to do, mix sedatives in a glass of water?' I groaned.
'Lower your voice first of all.' Although they were both far away, standing as though they were posing for a portrait, I could still see that look in his dark eyes that normally would have frightened me. Not today. I have some things to say. 'Why don't you come here.'
'No, you come here. I'm already comfortable.' I leaned back into the sofa, going that extra mile to prove a point. They looked at each other, confused. I wasn't rebelling, I just asked the exact same thing they asked of me.
Vince was first to move, Armani stayed behind to fill himself a glass of the same whisky from the fancy decanter. Did they really need alcohol for this conversation? What the hell were they planning on telling me.
He sat on the sofa in front of me, on the other side of the coffee table. Armani joined a moment later, taking the seat next to me.
'Do you want to tell Vince your theory?' Armani urged. The mentioned person tilted his head, asking for elaboration.
'No.' Short and simple answers, all that they deserve. 'You're hiring people to be my friends now?' I got straight to the point, no time to create a diversion from the subject that needs to be discussed.
'It really isn't like that at all.'
'So you didn't employ Milan to get close to me, gain my trust, so that I would never have expected him to work for you? All along, he only worked for you?' I looked with disbelief. 'You know how much I struggle with trust, you used that against me, to your advantage. And for what cost? I know what your answer is going to be. You're going to say you tried to protect me.'
'Because it is true. Having someone around, that you know would have made it easier to live a normal life.' Vincent was still quiet.
'I have come to terms with the fact that my life is nothing short of abnormal. Maybe if you had told me that I have someone in the school watching over me, I would have felt a little more comfortable.' I shook my head. 'And, I would still trust you both.'
Armani's face dropped slightly, Vince drank a bit. 'Bambina, you do understand that your safety is very important to us.' I rolled my eyes, but still nodded. 'I don't expect you to understand what we did, but I do expect you to listen to an explanation.'
'There doesn't have to be an explanation. When you go this far to prioritise my protection, it triggers something inside of me, something that subconsciously tells me that I don't matter, it's only what I have that matters. The Rossi name, the fortune behind the name, the history, the success, the legends. Everything builds up an image of what people before me had, not an image of what I could have. Sometimes, it feels like people forget that I am more than just an asset to the name. Being an individual in a family, who's name shadows everything you do is relatively saddening. When you do things like this, without conferring it with me first, it just makes me feel like you don't even trust the things I do.'
'Like you said, the name comes with many connotations, ones such as the things you listed, then there are the other ones. Those other ones are the reason that you aren't safe without a bodyguard.' Armani responded. 'And in response to the way that you're feeling, how to you suggest we compromise?'
'You are far beyond reviving yourself with a simple conversation. Do you really think a compromise is going to solve all of this? Is this your idea of a bribe?' I narrowed my eyes, looking to the side into his eyes. He shook his head and sighed. 'You trivialize me.'
'Of course we don't. We only did this for you.' Armani and I were now having a heated conversation, Vince only listened.
'No you didn't, if you did this for me, you wouldn't have done it behind my back. Do you understand how bad this looks for you, in my eyes? You are not entirely in charge of my life, you don't own me, and you definitely cannot decide what's best for me in every single situation. I have already agreed that you know best at times, but you're just building up an image of someone you're not. Because I haven't known you to be this manipulative. I don't know who riled your ego up, but not everything in the world will fall at your feet just because someone like you, in a higher position than everyone else, offers to negotiate. I went to business school, I know how this works. I just never expected you to try it with me.' In my voice, I sounded disheartened, in my heart, I was disappointed.
If you leave someone to suffer when you could have saved them from it - that's betrayal. If they've worn you paper thin, if they've held you close and plunged the knife in deeper even as they whisper sweet nothings - that's self preservation, survival and a wise action. From the outside, however, few can tell the difference. I knew it was too good to be true.
'I assumed that you would be safe, with your brothers and bodyguards in the school.' Vince said.
'I'm never going to be safe. I've accepted it, I've dealt with it. I'm the one that has to deal with it. With that highly praised mind of yours, I expected you to at least confer with me, before you did something with that big of an effect.' I was not overreacting, and I could tell when I looked from Vince to Armani that they thought the same thing. Vince, as usual was emotionless, Armani looked sympathetic. But then again, he always looks like that. 'You can tell Vince about what I said before, the whole theory, the reasons. I don't care.'
'Alessa, hold on now.' Armani sighed as I stood up.
'You were the first people I chose to candidly trust since mum died.' I spoke as I walked towards the door, not looking back for even a second. I closed the door, politely behind me, the guard outside, in his regular stance, looking at me with a little bit of sympathy.
I could see it. Of course I could see it, it's what I was looking for.
I walked the quiet halls, internally listening to a piano sonata. Maybe it's what I needed to feel calm, I haven't played the magical instrument since I first arrived here. I really needed it then, I really need it now.
I turned myself, and walked the other direction. To the library. The tall window doors were perfectly displaying the pitch black night sky, It had started to rain.
There it was, glimmering in all its glory.
I approached the stool beneath the instrument, and elegantly glided my fingers over the smooth keys. The sounds of this never changed, you could hit the same places, and it would make the same noise. It's what made it so normal, so perfect.
As I allowed my index finger to hover over the key, I straightened my back, endured in the sound of heavy rain, and pressed down, hoping it would make the desired noise.
The perfect sound, contradictory to the moment in the office.
I felt so alone as I played Beethoven, such a wonderful sensation after being constantly crowded by overprotective maniacs. What was I supposed to do now? I was angry at my brothers, the boy I thought I liked spending time with, and I am completely unsafe.
Maybe I should speak with someone. I can't speak with my friends, they could never understand this bizarre situation. Maybe one of my brothers.
Lorenzo seemed like the safest option right now. He was chilled, and likely to be willing to do anything. All I needed was to get out the house.
I stood from the seat and closed the lid of the piano. The rain had gotten more aggressive, it was unbearably loud, even from inside the house. I still heard the water hitting the outside walls as I walked across the halls, directing myself to the eldest twins room.
I knocked, and entered when he granted permission. He was lying on his bed, legs off the edge, and phone in his outstretched arm, over his face. He peered up to see who had entered, and sat up instantly when he saw me hopelessly standing in his doorway.
'Are you ok? I heard abo... never mind.' I was grateful that he didn't bring up the entire mishap today, I'm assuming he saw my unwillingness to answer to that. 'Whats up?' He went for.
'Can we go somewhere?'
'Where?' He raised a brow.
'Just out the house, I just need to destress. Please.' I spun the signet around my finger, and waited patiently for him to answer.
'Come on.' He nodded, got off the bed and grabbed his car keys from the desk. He urged that I walk out the door first, and followed after.
He had taken the lead, and I was now following him into the garage. At least 20 different cars sat so neatly around the edges, filling up each marked spot.
He pointed simply to a golden, flashy sports car. Its rim was sharp, and edges sharper. It was fully metallic, and looked as though it was made from twenty-four carat material.
Not only did I stare at the car for a good minute, I got startled when Lorenzo beeped the horn to get my attention. He had already made his way to the front seat, and through the window, he nodded his head to the seat next to him. It could only fit 2 people inside, so I was glad that it was kind of a confirmation that it would only be the two of us. I needed time away with one of the most laid back Rossi's.
If Gio could drive, he would have probably been my first option in this moment. But since he couldn't, and was busily studying for exams, Lorenzo was the best to offer.
Admittedly, I did enjoy being in his company, his timeless banter, and desensitised jokes made the car journey that little bit more distracting from what I needed to keep my mind off. He was probably the most carefree of all my biological brothers.
We stopped at a drive through, and picked up burgers and milkshakes. I was beginning to think I had gone out with someone other then Lorenzo, he was acting so normal, that was until he pressed the accelerator and began to rev the car repeatedly through the line. I covered my head in my hands.
'Is that embarrassing? Am I embarrassing you huh?' He mocked and shoved my shoulder to the side, being careful not to spill the milkshake in my hand all over the leather seats. I groaned as he recklessly spun the car out of the parking lot, and onto the road.
'Where are we going?'
'You said you need to destress, I'm taking you somewhere calming.' His eyes were focused on the road, he chewed on minty gum as his music played quietly in the background.
I leaned back, and watched the city go by as we drove across a bridge. It wasn't long that we were on silence, because soon we had arrived in the middle of Manhattan. I straightened up as we pulled up outside of a significantly tall skyscraper. building. There was a short red carpet rolled outside the entry, and a golden rope guarded by two men, who I assumed were there to grant entry.
Lorenzo rolled the car slowly in front of where the men were standing. He rolled the window down, and one of the large men stepped forward. He had black beady eyes, a bald head, and a thick black earpiece.
'Evening Mr Rossi. We weren't expecting you tonight.' He spoke, partly to my brother, partly to the other guy behind him, who not so subtly spoke into his radio.
'I need the rooftop for an hour.' He didn't greet the man back, but I was far beyond being shocked by their natural ignorance. Traits like these are reasons as to why I am partially glad that I didn't grow up being showered in diamonds, gold and arrogance.
'Of course.' He nodded, and waved a hand behind his back. We waited inside the warm car for a valet to politely arrive.
We both stood out, I folded my arms to bring my jumper closer to my skin, I forgot how cold it got in the winter in London, I don't know why I was expecting any different for New York. Lorenzo had a large puffer coat, I had seen him in it before. He only realised what I was wearing and sighed, walking to the back of the car, lifting it up and pulling out another warm coat.
He held it behind me, and allowed me to put my arms through. After I was wrapped, he tossed the keys to the man, and took me inside the building. I didn't have much time to admire it, as he directed me straight to the gold stained elevator.
The doors dramatically opened into the outdoors, the very top of the building. The rooftop was empty, and all I could hear was the muffled noises of traffic and yelling from the many stories below.
Made from complete concrete and wood, the extravagant venue would be the perfect place to hold a wedding registry. The heaters above the booth, next to the panel of glass was where we chose to sit. Opposite one another, with our fast food, still in hands.
The table in front of us was where I put the food, Lorenzo did the same. He leaned back in his chair, and studied me for a moment. He tilted his chin, then confidently asked me a question.
'Did I hear correctly that you kissed that boy, or am I being lied to?'
I hope you all enjoyed, leave your suggestions!! Stay safe <3