Ranboo walked through the door, fighting to stay awake. Instead of announcing his entrance, he just flopped down on the couch next to Tubbo.
"How was work?" Tubbo sounded just as tired.
"Fucking amazing..." Ranboo mumbled sarcastically and closed his eyes.
"Want to just go to bed now? I'm tired too. That new medication I have is making me so fucking tired. I think it's messing with my hormones as well. I spent my morning debating if I should do D.I.Y surgery on myself or not." Tubbo yawned and stretched, resting his legs over Ranboo like an annoying child.
"Don't perform D.I.Y surgery on yourself." Ranboo lectured him lazily.
"Fine, fine." Tubbo rolled his eyes and purposely kicked his feet to get on Ranboo's nerves. "By the way, you pissed on the floor again. Get better aim, or I'm ripping it off."
"It couldn't of been me, I've been sitting to pee." Ranboo opened his eyes.
Tubbo went silent for just a second. "Oh...then who was it then?"
"Probably you." Ranboo shifted the blame onto him.
"Well it's not my fault, I get up late in the night to piss. Sometimes I forget I can't stand like you can." Tubbo moved his feet off and stood up.
"I know, it's fine. Did you at least clean it up?" Ranboo got up as well.
"No, I wanted you to do it." Tubbo said causally and went to the bedroom to get ready to sleep.
Ranboo felt his last nerve turn to dust. He bit his lip and went into the bathroom to deal with the stain. When he was done, he went to the bedroom to see Tubbo cuddled up in his own bed. They each had their own beds, across from each other. "Are you sleeping?"
"No, I'm riding a damn elephant." Tubbo huffed out from under his blanket.
"I wanted to talk about something before bed." Ranboo sat on the bed and pulled the blankets off Tubbo, only to be punched in the gut. "Ow!"
Tubbo grabbed his blankets back and covered up. "I'm comfortable, don't touch me!"
"Yeah those meds are definitely messing up your hormones..." Ranboo flinched and stood up, predicting that he was about to get hit again.
"What do you want? Dickhead."
"It's about Snow Chester...I've been estimating the cost of living there for two weeks." Ranboo sat on his own bed so he couldn't get attacked.
Tubbo stuck his head out from the blankets, listening now.
"I think it would be cheaper if only one of us go. Snow Chester's food prices are pretty high. Two weeks of groceries for two of us would be expensive. If it was just you though, it would be more manageable." Ranboo tried to explain his logic. "Also, it's cheaper to get a room with one bed."
"Pardon? You want to abandon me in Snow Chester? I'll starve and sleep on the floor, but you will not be leaving me!" Tubbo protested Ranboo's idea.
"Come on, at least think about it! I delivered a package to Bad today. He said him and Skeppy are going to Snow Chester too. He said they would give you a free ride. It'll work out better this way. I don't have the money for both of us to go." Ranboo pleaded with him, he didn't want Tubbo to go. He just wanted Tubbo to be safe.
Tubbo went silent, he didn't want to be separated from Ranboo. He was the only person that truly understood Tubbo's personality and health. "Who's going to jab me?"
"I only stab you every 2 weeks, so you should be fine as long as you take a dose before you leave. It's only two weeks, think of it as a vacation." Ranboo tried to sell the idea.
Tubbo chewed on the idea for awhile, Ranboo almost thought he fell asleep. "Fine, only two weeks. When I come back, you let me D.I.Y a hysterectomy."
Ranboo laughed mockingly. "Are you insane? Two weeks, and we can consult your doctor about it."
"And you'll pay for it?" Tubbo added.
"I pay for everything, so yes. Maybe your insurance will be generous enough to help."
Both Ranboo and Tubbo laughed, knowing their insurance sucked.
-
"Is your bag ready?" Ranboo asked while walking from the bathroom with a syringe.
"Yup, I'm ready to be fucking thrown out." Tubbo said dramatically from the couch.
Ranboo stood in front of him now. "Bad and Skeppy are going to be here in 30 minutes. Can we do this without the dramatics?"
Tubbo crossed his legs. "On second thoughts, I'll just be dysphoric."
Ranboo huffed and moved his legs, so he could access a thigh. "You do this every time, you should be used to it by now."
"You should be better at making it not hurt by now." Tubbo returned in a mocking tone.
"Do you want to do it then?" Ranboo offered him the needle.
"Ah no! Touching it makes my skin crawl, you bastard." Tubbo shuddered and finally gave in. "Just fucking stab me, I won't even flinch."
Ranboo injected him swiftly and safely. Trying not to cause any distress right before he had to go.
"AGH! YOU CUNT, THAT HURT!" Tubbo kicked him playfully, not trying to actually abuse his best friend.
Ranboo went to dispose of the needle responsibly. "Keep complaining, and I'll leave you in Snow Chester forever!" He didn't mean that.
-
"They're here!" Ranboo called out from the window.
Tubbo got up and ran to the window, looking out to see his ride. "Are you sure you can't go?" Tubbo was getting anxious.
"I'll call you every night, I'll see you again in two weeks." Ranboo gave Tubbo a generous hug, hiding him temporarily from the world.
"Call every morning, night, and minute." Tubbo told him instead.
"Okay, I will. I love you, you'll be okay." Ranboo let go and sent his platonic lover on his way out the door.
Bad got out and helped Tubbo put his bag in the trunk. "Hey! I'm glad you decided to join us." Bad was trying to see this as a positive opportunity. Even though they were leaving to avoid being potentially hate crimed.
"Yeah..." Tubbo looked up the window, smiling when he saw Ranboo again. He waved sadly. He didn't get in the car until Ranboo looked away from the window.
Tubbo sat in the back, leaning on the door. He wanted to go back already. He wasn't strong enough on his own.
-
That night Ranboo laid awake, constantly checking Tubbo's bed. As if he thought excessive looking would bring him back.
Ranboo kept focusing on the main point, Tubbo would be safe. Snow Chester was a lovely town, or so everyone thought.
Just as Ranboo was finally drifting to sleep, the house phone started ringing. He ran to it, thinking it might be Tubbo.
"Hey, Bee is that you?" Ranboo hadn't checked the ID.
"No, It's Dream. I was calling with an update." He sounded miserable, maybe coming down with something.
"Oh, that's wonderful timing! Is Snow Chester everything you thought it would be?" Ranboo smiled.
"Don't come here...It was a trap..." Dream whispered apologetically. He was sorry to deliver the disappointing news.
Ranboo dropped his smile, along with the phone. He had shipped his lamb to slaughter.