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𝑅𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑤𝑒𝑟: Adella
𝑅𝑒𝑣𝑖𝑒𝑤 𝑃𝑎𝑐𝑘𝑎𝑔𝑒: Artemis
𝐵𝑜𝑜𝑘: Ribbon
𝐴𝑢𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑟: VeraChendra
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Title
The title is perfect for the type of story you're writing. It's simple, interesting, and easy to remember. It also goes along with your blurb very nicely, and I can definitely see what you were trying to go for with the "frayed ribbon" line, in relation to the title. On those fronts you did amazing!
The one issue I could see with the title is that, unless you read the blurb, the title seems to have nothing to do with the story itself. People do generally read the blurbs before reading the book, but titles usually give a little insight into what the book is going to be about or the characters within it. Your title doesn't really connect with the rest of the book, other than the blurb.
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Cover
The cover is absolutely gorgeous! It's appealing to the eye, the colors contrast nicely, the font is beautifully simple, and it has just enough elements to make it interesting, but not so many that it becomes crowded. It's eye catching, especially with the golden face on the front, and I would definitely be tempted to pick it up at a bookstore.
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Grammar
You didn't have many grammar or spelling mistakes at all, which is always a great thing. You do have a couple of stray mistakes, but they're easily fixed and not bad enough to take away from your story.
In chapter one you only have 3 small mistakes.
The first is when Meera is thinking about LA and it says "try hard." The word would actually be "tryhards" or "try-hards" instead.
The second is when Meera is thinking about the Farewell family and mentions the "stocks market." It would actually be the "stock market."
Finally the third is simply a stray "l" in one of the final paragraphs, when Don Roma was telling Meera that she would flourish.
In chapter two you, once again, only have 3 small mistakes.
The first mistake is in the very first paragraph, when Anya is thinking about her family's business. It says "It was still a business but if someone wanted to be technical about it." Which doesn't make much sense, even with context clues. You likely just missed a few words or added a couple too many, which is easily fixed.
The second mistake is in the paragraph right after Ivan calls Anya a menace. There's a "b" where there should be a space, so it reads "Anyabpicked" instead of "Anya picked."
The final mistake is in one of the later paragraphs, when Anya is thinking of Irina. It says "she left to back to her boarding school," so you're missing a "go" between the first "to" and "back."
Other than those few mistakes, you're golden on the grammar front!
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Prose
In both chapters your prose was very well written. It's easy to get carried away with descriptions and want to go on about every little thing, but you keep the descriptions brief while still managing to make them vivid enough that I can imagine exactly what's happening.
In chapter one I could practically feel the LA sun on my skin, and I couldn't stop snickering when I pictured Meera tossing her phone over the railing. Meanwhile, in chapter two, I could almost hear Ivan's footsteps on the floor and feel the cool temperature in tho office, despite you never stating these things outright.
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Flow
The chapters I read flow seamlessly with each other, they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. The transition of your story from one character to the next in the chapters feels natural, as well as gives us an insight into who they are as people. I love how you've given them their own chapters that overlap in time but have their own storylines, while still keeping them connected to each other and the story with Don Roma contacting Anya for Meera.
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Plot
So far I'm absolutely in love with your plot and have no reservations in saying that this is the most interesting book I've read in the last year. You've given just enough information to pique your reader's interest without oversharing and losing the suspense you've weaved throughout the first two chapters. I find Meera's backstory to be particularly interesting, and the way you've written it leaves me (and, no doubt, other people who read your book) craving more. Very well done!
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Main Characters
The review of your characters will be on Meera and Anya, as those are the only characters I've seen in depth. I do have a special mention for Don Roma, though, I need you to know that I absolutely love him and he's my comfort character now.
Immediately after reading Meera's chapter I got a defining feel for her personality and what you described in the blurb. The two points that stood out, though, were her emotional reservation and her non confrontational manner.
Whenever she feels overwhelmed by having to leave LA to escape, who I assume to be, her stalker, she doesn't want to cry or show that she's upset at all in front of Don Roma. This shows that she is a more reserved character, as well as makes her more human and relatable to the readers.
She is also shown to be very non confrontational, both with her family and her stalker. This is shown when she meets with Don Roma and mentions that she didn't want to ask him for help, as well as when she tries to act formally with him in order to avoid any confrontation.
This is also shown when her immediate reaction to her stalker finding her is to run away instead of trying to get rid of them via the police or her uncle, and the fact that this is something that has apparently happened multiple times.
Anya seems to be far more strong willed and confrontational than Meera, which is shown when she forces her brother to take a break and refuses any argument from him about it. She seems to not care what she has to do as long as she can keep her family safe, which leads me to my next point.
Anya is also very caring towards her family. This is shown throughout her chapter in the way that she talks about her family throughout the chapter, and the fact that her main concern when considering any of the problems with the family business is how it will affect her family (specifically her brother, Ivan).
In both chapters you don't spend much, if any, time describing Anya and Meera's appearances, yet you've given so much insight into their characters that I can practically see how they talk and interact with the world around them without needing you to directly state it. It's a hard thing to accomplish and a breath of fresh air when it comes to the usual descriptions seen in first person POV. You've fleshed out your characters very well and I can't wait to see more of them.
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𝑂𝑣𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑙𝑙 𝑆𝑐𝑜𝑟𝑒:
53/55
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On a more personal note: I'm not the biggest fan of mafia romances, but you even have me, of all people, wanting to read more of this book because it's just that good. I'm definitely looking forward to reading more of it in the future!
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Thank you for requesting a review from me!
If you have any questions about what I've said or if you want me to elaborate a little more, feel free to DM me on my personal account: TheBoneFairy