book update{ currenty working on my chapter outline and so i write the first chapter soon }
clarke:
i walk slowly , taking each step carefully. everyone walks past me, tending to others. how could they not look at me with disgust?
i look over to octavia who wa talking to lincoln.
"give me a moment" i say to Bellamy and let his hand go slowly, not wanting to let go just yet.
as i walk over, she looks up at me and then back down.
"can we talk? alone?" i ask looking from lincoln then back to her.
"theres nothing to say clarke" she mutters putting emphisis on the 'k'.
"ill go, find me when your done" lincoln speaks up, leaving me and Octavia alone.
"Everything i did, i would do over. i need you to understand that. i was stupid and reckless" i say to her and she keeps her head down.
"what you said to me, how after it was all over, we were done. Octavia you need to understand that i dont want us to be like this. i was wrong. i know that." i say to kill the silence.
"im sorry isnt going to cut it clarke"
"i brought Lincholn back. out of all the terrible things that happened, he came back. im not using that as an excuse to forgive me but its a start. i just, i need to know that one day you will" i plead and she just sits there looking down, dwindling a knife in her hands.
"and if i dont?" she asks looking up
"then i wont stop trying." i say and turn to go.
"wait" she says standing up
"you did what you had to. anyone of us might have done that. it was war."
"so you forgive me ?"
she smiles lightly "ill work on that, you did send my brother to his death, speaking of which, you should probably be with him right now." she says patting my shoulder and walking off.
she was right. i did need to be with him. after being away from him so long, i never wanted to leave him.
i move around camp, avoiding the eyes of everyone, to find Bellamy alone, on the outskirts of camp with a drink in his hand.
"Hey princess " he says with his perfect smirk that he did oh so well.
"hey" i smile back.
This must be like to feel like a careless teenager, i thought that feeling was gone forever.