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L O S T & N O T
F O U N D
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The sun shone brightly today. Rays trickled through a canopy of leaves and created a division across the dewy grass between the two teens. They stood five metres apart. Harley didn't want to get too close.
Blue eyes stared back at Harley, boring into her soul. He looked different. He wasn't so much angry anymore. He looked slightly tired and dare Harley say remorseful. He had a hand to his head then ran through his hair as if just standing was a hardship for him.
It took everything in Harley to try not to feel awful about what she had done. He deserved it or at least that's what people around her have said. John, however, he wasn't too impressed. He thought Harley was better than that and he was disappointed that she hadn't come to him about Rafe beforehand. He loved having her around and he didn't want her to jeopardise her time with their family. By the end of their talk, Harley had been in tears in his arms apologising profusely.
Harley rubbed at her neck nervously, then her wrist. Anxiety wobbled off her in stifling waves. Rafe wasn't saying anything, so she didn't want to be around him too long. She hadn't told anybody where she was going, as he'd requested and now she was starting to think that was a bad idea.
"What did you want ,Rafe?" she asked timidly. Just his presence seemed to drain all confidence from her.
"I wanted to see you..." He trailed off, eyes never leaving her.
"Okay then, you have. So... goodbye."
Harley started to back up, tucking her hair behind her ears.
"Wait!" He lurched forward, his sudden motion looked clumsy, but stopped hers. "I... wanted to talk to you."
Harley's patience was phenomenal as she waited for him to collect whatever thoughts were running wild in his head. She remembered how he'd take drugs sometimes to stop it all. To freeze everything around him and relax. She knew that's what he had wanted because when she had taken those same drugs that's how she had felt. He always reiterated how they were the same. How they both had thoughts fighting in their head. How all they needed was the world to stop spinning and they'd be okay.
"I didn't tell the Sheriff it was you," he started to say.
Harley shook her head and rose her eyebrows. "What?"
"I didn't tell the Sheriff, that you drove my car into the marsh. I haven't told anybody. Nobody knows it was you except those of us that were there," Rafe explained. He had taken a step closer.
Why? Why would he do that? Was she supposed to thank him? Did she owe him now? Maybe, that's what he wanted; he wanted her to owe him.
"You don't have to thank me or anything," he commented sarcastically and rolled his eyes. And there it was. That's what Harley had been waiting for. These were the comments that made her wonder if Rafe had even liked her.
"Thanks." Harley muttered and went to leave again.
"Wait! Sorry. I'm...sorry. Just wait. Give me a second."
"What is it Rafe? I'm tired."
"I didn't tell the cops. I didn't tell my dad. John's job is safe. You're not going to get taken away. Nobody is in trouble, everything is fine. I made it okay. So, I think me and you can start over. We can try again."
Harley froze completely stunned. She blinked thoughtlessly at the boy stood hopefully in front of her.
Me...and you... can start over.
"What?" Harley balked at the idea. "No. Rafe no."
"Yes. Why not?" Rafe looked like a lost puppy. He wanted a genuine reason and Harley could give him one hundred.
"You hurt me... a lot."
"I didn't mean to. It just happened. My dad would get me so mad or my sister. And then you hurt me, too."
"Why would you want to start over after everything?"
Rafe shook his head and stepped closer putting his hands on her arms. He held her gaze, "I need you. You make everything so much better, you make everything feel easier and you make me feel lighter. You make me happy and I really need happiness, right now."
"Rafe." He was putting a lot of pressure on her. She didn't want to have the weight of somebody's happiness resting heavily on her shoulders. Not when she struggled with her own. "No. I'm sorry."
Harley stepped back out of his reach trying her best to ignore the pleading in his eyes.
"Harley..."
"Hey Country Club!" A cocky, teasing voice hollered from behind Harley.
She turned to see Barry parking up his truck and hopping out. When he saw Harley his smile widened. He held out his arms to the pair as if to bring them into a hug.
"Hahaha, no way. Are you two back together? You've taken her back after sinking your car," Barry guffawed. "I guess you really are a siren, little miss snow white."
Harley paled at his nickname. He had started calling her that when he realised cocaine sales were much easier when she seemed to be around. Especially, when Rafe and he had made her take some. The memories made her shiver.
Barry stopped beside her and twirled a strand of her inky hair around his finger, he smirked as if to make a comparison with the nickname. "How are you, Baby Doll? You've got some balls sinking my boy's car and then showing up like this." He let her hair drop before swinging an arm over Rafe's shoulder. "But if he's forgiven ya, so have I. You can come hang with us. I have a few grams to spare."
Harley cringed away. Barry had never been mean to her, but he still made uncomfortable goose bumps rise on her arms. He made her nervous in a not so nice way. It was like he was always calculating something in his mind and that had put her on edge every so often. More so when he would switch on Rafe and treat him badly. She could see what he was capable of. Yet still a part of her felt less empty when in his presence. He felt familiar.
"No thank you, Barry."
Rafe shifted uneasily under Barry's hold. His eyes flickered from Harley, to Barry's pockets to anywhere and everywhere really. Harley noticed the small packet edging out of Barry's shorts pocket. She knew what is was and could see that Rafe wanted it. She shook her head softly at Rafe not wanting him to go with Barry.
Rafe didn't like the look she was giving him, though. He licked his lips and straightened up, holding his head high. "Harley, was just leaving. She has to get back to her family."
"What a shame. I'll catch up with you another time."
Harley forced a smile. She felt guilty and upset, but she turned her back on Rafe and headed back the way she had came.
⚓️
Harley pushed open the door to the Routledge home. The room went silent the second she stepped in. She looked up to see the Pogues gathered on the chairs staring up to her. The worry in their eyes dissipated the second they saw her.
"Um, what's going on?"
"Where have you been?"
She opened her mouth ready to announce that she had been to see Rafe, but then she thought better of it. She hadn't initially known what he wanted to see her face to face for when he had texted. She agreed to meet after he kept spamming her, so she knew if she told the Pogues that they would be upset with her.
"I went for a walk..." Not a complete lie.
"I called you and you didn't answer, Lee. You can't keep doing this. Especially, not right now."
She apologised, then tilted her head. "Why especially now?"
"Dad has gone missing. No one has seen him for almost two days."
Harley's heart plummeted. Mr Routledge was missing. He couldn't be. How? Why? When? "I don't understand." She was already entering a stage of denial. Harley wasn't willing to think about a reality where she lost a father twice. A reality where her small family was taken from her. She wasn't strong enough to deal with that. She loved Mr Routledge and in her mind he adored her right back.
"Have you heard from him?" John B asked hopefully.
She pulled out her phone and saw no number by the phone icon. She saw she had some texts and pulled them up hopefully. To her dismay they were mostly from Rafe, a couple from Topper and one from Billie.
"No. I don't have any calls or texts from him." Harley frowned. "Should we panic?"
It wasn't unusual for John to be absent for chunks of time, but after learning about what Harley had done and been through he had promised the young girl to be around a little more often. He had said he didn't want her to feel neglected and wanted her to know that he'd always be there for her to talk to if she needed... no matter what, when or why.
She bit her lip, feeling deeply worried because that's all she could feel from John B. Worry. He knew his dad better than anybody ever could, so if John B was anxious then so was Harley.
"Should we call the police?" Harley asked looking around. It felt like there only option, because what could they do other than wait and hope Mr Routledge would turn up with reasonable explanation.
"Yes!" Pope exclaimed throwing his hands up. "Yes. We should. That's the first thing we should have done. They can search the island easier and much quicker than we could. Maybe even get word to Mr Cameron or someone he works with.
"Yeah, but Mr R, disappears sometimes cause of his job. What if he's just really engrossed with what he's doing wherever he's doing it?" JJ tried to reason, before going into a not so appropriate example. "Like when I'm home alone and I feel hor-"
"Ew! Gross! JJ shut up," Kiara gagged.
"You don't even know what I was going to say."
Pope winced. "We most definitely did."
"Guys! My dad is missing!" John B yelled in clear distress.
⚓️
Harley pouted fiddling with her hands. She didn't know what she was supposed to be feeling. John B said not to worry, but he was doing just that. Kiara was fussing over John B and Pope had been adamant in trying to get him to call the cops. And JJ, well JJ was JJ.
Said blonde sat beside Harley on the floor against a wall in her room. She hadn't invited him to join and he hadn't asked, yet she felt oddly calm around him. His chaotic presence let her relax a bit which made no sense really. In her mind maybe it was because out of everybody he was the only one still acting normal. He behaved the same way he did on a day to day basis, as if there was no crisis.
"You haven't said much," JJ commented. He twisted his hat around so that he could lean his head back against the wall and look at Harley.
"Do you think Mr Routledge is mad at me?" Harley gnawed at her lip apprehensively, worried for JJ's answer. "Because... I fixed everything. Rafe isn't going to tell anybody it was me that drove his car into the marsh. He promised."
JJ was about to crack a joke, Harley could see it in his eyes until he properly looked at Harley's slumped figure. He seemed to stutter as he took a moment to get anything out. Harley thought it was a little strange for him, but passed it off as something and nothing.
"Mr R, could never be mad at you. You're basically his daughter now. He treats you like a little princess," JJ finished with a small chuckle before turning serious. "But, how do you know Rafe won't snitch? You're not supposed to be in contact with him."
"I know. I know, but he messaged me. He said he needed to see me. I thought it was an emergency."
Immediately JJ got annoyed. "Are you serious? You met up with that asshole, after everything that has happened," JJ snapped in disbelief.
Harley was taken aback by his reaction. He had looked so calm a second ago. "Yeah, but everything is fixed now."
"How? How do you know he's not gonna go back on what he's said, huh? He's a Kook. What did he want from you in return?"
"He didn't want anything from me in return." She was a little offended. "He wanted to get back together though..."
"What the hell, Harley. You can't be serious. Are you that stupid? He keeps fucking us Pogues over all the time. He literally fucks with your supposed brother," JJ gestured his hand in the general direction of John B somewhere in the living room. "He hurt you. Do you think that's normal?"
"It felt normal," she breathed quietly. "He didn't always mean it. And it just felt... like, it made me feel a sense of comfort because I think I've felt like that before."
JJ looked at her like she had grown an extra head. "So you've gone back to him, because you felt comfortable getting treated like shit."
"He wasn't an awful person to me. Especially not at the start, but no. I haven't gone back to him."
"Yet, you sit here defending him. Do you even understand why going back to him would be wrong?"
Harley frowned getting that inferior feeling again. "I know I can be a bit ditzy and naïve sometimes, but I am learning. Billie tells me things and so does John." She wrung her hands together in her lap and stared at the wall ahead. "And I'm not necessarily defending Rafe's actions, but I can sort of understand his motives."
JJ laughed, but it held no warmth, just condescending coldness. "Awhh cute," he mocked. "You understand that psychopath and want to help him. You think you can make him a better person. What delusional books has Pope given you?"
The blonde stood up from beside Harley and headed for the door.
"Wait, JJ..." She pushed forward onto her knees at a late attempt to grab his hand and stop him leaving. She wanted to understand why he was so annoyed with her. Why the situation annoyed him so much. She got that he didn't like Rafe and he probably didn't even like her, so then why care? Why be so annoyed when it doesn't affect him. She sorted things out so that nobody else could be affected.
JJ evaded her reach and left through the door without so much as a glance back. This made Harley's frown deepen as she slumped back against the wall. It was silly to think they could have become friends. All she really had was John B and right now he was hurting, because his dad was missing. Which begged the question, how long until she was taken away next? How long until she was floating aimlessly in a lonely expanse of water again?
We're almost at season 1, finally, and all the drama that will bring. Are you guys excited?
Quick questions;
What has been your favourite part/scene so far?
Thoughts on Harley's character?
Do you think anybody is involved with her washing up on the island or her past?