—
TWO MONTHS LATER
—
THE SOUND OF INTENSE RINGING INFILTRATED LEXIES EARS, her world was crumbling beneath her own feet. it was all dying, everything was dying.
her marriage, her will to live.
i'm sick.
lexie had both hands splayed on the counter of the kitchen in front of her, leaning forward as a sigh escaped her lips—-in clear distress at her own thoughts, she was utterly sickened at where her life was.
"—what are you doing? looking for wedding dresses?" miles laughed as he jumped on their bed beside lexie, trying to steal the magazine from her grip.
but lexie was faster than him, because she swiped the dress catalog away from him before shutting it and throwing it on the ground.
"ah, ah, ah, youre not supposed to see the dress" lexie said as she pointed a finger at him, causing him to sigh and roll his eyes—-lexies mouth fell open at his reaction,
"it's tradition!" she shouted at him,
"iTs tRaDiTIoN!" he mocked her in a high pitch voice, causing lexie to gasp in an over dramatic sound of offense before she playfully hit him, causing his eyes to widen.
"you're so dead" he said with a laugh before rolling over and grabbing her hips as his body was on top of hers in a flash, a loud scream of laughter escaped her lips.
"you know the drill, say you love me" he winked, it was their favorite little game.
"i love you more than anything miles, you practically set my body on fire—" lexie said while laughing,
"—jesus are you trying to set the house on fire?" present miles snapped lexie out of her thoughts, brushing past her, and slamming the lid of the screaming kettle down.
so that's what the ringing was.
lexie shook her head quickly, snapping out of her memories as she looked up at the loud kettle—-she was making herself a cup of tea because she didn't feel the best today.
because today was the day.
going to legally sit down with a lawyer and sign the divorce papers, and lexie felt like she was going to die today, physically stop breathing.
"sorry" she muttered, turning around to look at miles, who was surprisingly making himself a cup of coffee, even though he didn't like coffee, which most likely meant he was hungover.
lexie felt herself zone out as she stared at him, eyeing his frame up and down, miles was on her mind, all day everyday.
feeling herself snap into a dream stance, lexie watched miles put the coffee creamer down before walking over to her, resting both hands on the counter, one on either side of her body.
she stared at him with wide eyes, really not knowing what he was doing.
he brought his bottom lip between his teeth before leaning forward and smashing his lips against hers—
"—lexie!" miles' voice snapped her out of her daydreaming once again, causing her to snap her head and look up at him like a deer caught in headlights, he narrowed his eyes at her.
"are you high or something?" he asked weirdly as he opened the fridge,
"don't worry about it" she spat at him, she wasn't. lexie just knew that she didn't owe him one explanation for anything, considering the fact that in roughly an hour their marriage would be over.
miles froze dead in his tracks, blinking slowly before shooting a terrifying look at her, his jaw hardening, she stared at him with wide eyes, lexie could sense every ounce of anger coming off of him.
the fridge door slammed shut loudly, shaking with the force he put behind the slam.
miles took steps towards lexie, standing in front of her—-she could feel her heart thumping so loudly inside of her chest that she thought she was going to have a heart attack, she honestly had no idea what he was doing.
he splayed his left hand to the side of her, on the counter, leaning forward as he tilted his head slightly.
it was right then that lexie wasn't sure if her little daydream wasn't just a manifestation of what was going to happen in the next thirty seconds, she had a million thoughts running through her head.
what if he kissed her? what would she do? would she push him away?
lexie knew that for her pride and self respect, she should push him away. but she just didn't know if she had enough self control to resist not giving into the celestial touch he left on her skin.
miles licked his lips, a small smile appearing on his face before she watched his right hand reach up behind her, grabbing a small glass bowl out from the cabinet behind her body.
"had to get the sugar" he said with a smirk, backing away from her as he rattled the glass container in his hand in a teasingly manner, lexies face being laced in in utter distraught and embarrassment.
"r-right, sugar..." she trailed off, trying to figure out what the hell was happening, and what the hell just happened. what he just did made her feel ways that she knew she shouldn't for him.
but lexie did know one thing...
he knew what he was doing.
and he was doing it on purpose.
—
miles huffed as he slammed his empty glass of gin on his wooden dresser, he hadn't been sober in... god, months. he was happy that way, he only felt happy when he was drunk or high.
i need help.
he opened his drawer, staring down at the two things that ruined his life but made him so much happier, but he was interrupted by the door opening, miles quickly slammed his drawer shut before turning around to see timothee.
"hey i just wanted to like... check up on you, you've been super distant for the past few months and i just wanna make sure you're okay" timothee said, walking towards miles.
they weren't really close anymore.
miles scoffed as he turned his head to the side, shaking his head as he grabbed a cigarette and lit it between his lips.
"what's it to you? you gonna go and fuck my ex wife again?" miles asked with anger in his tone, throwing his lighter on the wooden dresser while turning his head back towards timothee, tilting his head slightly.
"as if you haven't done me dirty" timothee shook his head while rolling his eyes, miles took the cigarette from his lips before blowing out smoke to the side.
"don't go there with me, and don't pretend like you care about me or my feelings, get the fuck out" miles said while shaking his head before grabbing a few shoeboxes off his bed and throwing them in the closet,
timothee ignored his words, his eyes being caught by the shoeboxes with curiosity, he knew pairs of shoes weren't on the inside... but he didn't know what was.
"what's in the box?" timothee ignored him, raising a brow as he stared at the box,
"don't worry about it" miles said as he walked back towards him, staring at timothee with a look of pure rage before he spoke again, ashing his cigarette and placing it on the ash tray.
"didnt i tell you to get the fuck out?" he repeated himself,
"didnt i ask you what was in the box?" timothee challenged him, miles' jaw hardened as they both fell silent while staring at each other, waiting for one of them to make the next move.
deafening silence filled the room, timothee cocked a brow up, like he was challenging miles, playing a dangerous game with him.
suddenly, timothee quickly lunged towards miles' closet, but miles was just as fast, if not even faster as he grabbed the back of timothees shirt, turning them around and slamming him against the wall.
"you fucking piece of shit" miles gritted his teeth, incredibly close to timothees face, who let out a laugh before pushing miles off of him, throwing him to the ground.
timothee quickly got on top of miles, pushing his knee on his chest to pin him, miles threw timothee off of him with his arms before they ended up practically wrestling on the ground.
timothee managed to flip them over once again, slamming miles to the ground, grabbing his wrist with one hand and pinning it above his head.
but miles screamed loudly in pain as timothee grabbed his wrist, immediately stopping the fight as he reached his other hand over and clutched his wrist in pain.
timothee slowly backed away with a look of confusion and horror on his face as he stood up, staring down at miles, who shot an angry look at him as he stood up.
timothee reached forward quickly and grabbed miles' hand before he could process anything, rolling the sleeve of his shirt up before he audibly gasped.
he had track marks on his arm.
"you've been fucking shooting up?!" timothee screamed,
miles lunged his arm back before slamming his hand over timothees mouth with wide eyes before gritting his teeth as he spoke,
"shut the fuck up" he said lowly, not wanting anyone else to hear.
timothee stared at him with a look of anger and horror before throwing miles' hand away from his mouth and taking steps backwards towards the closet,
"touch the box and i'll fucking kill you" miles said, watching timothee take steps backwards as their eyes locked—-tension in the room was growing even higher,
timothee didn't seem phased at all as he reached behind him and opened the shoebox,
"a spoon... syringe, a fucking blow torch?! you're cooking heroin and shooting up!" timothee screamed at miles as he looked at him, miles sucked in a breath as he dragged his hand across his face in distress.
he didn't say a word.
"what the fuck— where did this money come from?" timothee held a massive wad of cash up, throwing the box on the bed, miles smirked while crossing his arms,
"it's ours" he said with a bullshit smirk,
"no, no, this is at least a few hundred thousand, it's all hundred dollar bills, i think i would know if it was ours" timothee shook his head, staring at miles intensely,
miles just smirked without saying a word, waiting for timothee to catch on as he relit his cigarette from earlier.
timothee felt his heart drop upon realization,
"you've been stealing money from me, doing business behind my back you scumbag!" timothee screamed as he threw the band of cash at miles, he quickly caught it as he took a few steps forward.
"now tell me, timothee, how the fuck does it feel be stabbed in the back?" miles asked as he took the cigarette away from his lips and blowing it into his face.
timothee stared at miles with a look of anger before miles grabbed timothees wrist and pulled it forward before putting his lit cigarette right on his wrist—-timothee let out a loud scream in pain,
"jesus— fuck ME! holy SHIT!" timothee screamed in pain as he held his wrist, staring down at the burn mark miles left on his wrist,
"touch anything else in my room and the rest of your body will burn like that" miles lowly said as he eyed timothee,
"and... if you tell anyone about what you just saw, i'll hang you by your fucking bed sheets, got it?" miles said as he pointed his cigarette at timothee,
before he got the chance to reply, miles turned around and stormed out.
holy shit.
—
*for best experience while reading, i recommend listening to the greatest by lana del rey*
—
miles sat across from lexie at the table, lawyers on either side of them as they had pens and papers in front of them, ready to sign the papers.
"are you two entirely sure you want to follow through with this decision?" the lawyer besides miles spoke up, miles and lexie were staring each other dead in the eyes, not breaking the contact.
lexie could feel the heaviness in her body, she knew this was better for her mental sake, but she had a secret physically and mentally growing inside of her.
one that could be apart of miles.
"i'm sure" miles spoke, still not breaking his eyes away from lexie, she felt herself gulp as she stared ahead at him,
"alexis?" the lawyer sitting beside her asked, she still didn't look away from miles as she felt herself dight the tears that she desperately wanted to let escape her eyes.
"i-i'm sure" she spoke, snapping herself away from miles' gaze, she knew it was for the best.
"okay then, let's sign the papers" lexies lawyer said, miles sighed as he picked up the pen before signing quickly at the bottom of his paper.
lexie shakily grabbed the pen as she breathed heavily while staring down at the paper, she slowly brought the pen down to the line, beginning to sign her name.
you could be pregnant with his child.
you're going to make your child grow up without a father just like you did.
lexie threw her pen down on the table before pushing her chair back and standing up, running out of the room as she felt the hot tears escape her eyes and stream down her angelic face.
she was an angel crying, a beautiful disaster.
miles and the other lawyers stared at the door with wide eyes, all of them looking at each other before miles spoke,
"if youll just excuse me" he quickly said as he pushed his chair back, standing up and following lexie out of the room, pushing the doors open of the building.
there he saw her, walking down the side walk in the pouring rain, he stepped out, not caring about getting wet as he shouted for her,
"lexie!" he called her name, she whipped her head around, her white dress sticking to her body, slightly see through, her strands of hair now wet as she stared at him, distraught with tears in her eyes.
last time they stood together in the pouring rain, they were at the start of their marriage, a new beginning.
"you do know ill never leave you right?" miles said to lexie in italy, the rain covering their skin, she nodded slowly as she stared at him.
he knew that was a fear of hers, she had been abandoned her whole life.
"i trust you not to leave me" she whispered before leaning in and pressing her lips against his softly.
and now they stood, at the end, the final destruction of their marriage.
"i cant do this!" she shouted back at him, tears falling from her eyes as she walked back towards him, still keeping a distance between them.
"this was what you wanted" he shook his head as she got closer, but she felt herself crumble beneath her own feet,
"what i wanted was to fucking marry you, miles! have a stupid white wedding and sleep in the same bed as you every night, grow old with you! do it all with you miles, THATS what ive wanted!" she shouted at him,
he sighed.
"you think i didn't want that either?! you think i didn't want to spend the rest of my life with you?!" he shouted back at her as he threw his arms up,
the rain crashed down on their bodies, pelting their skin as their clothes stuck to their bodies.
"then WHY did you have to be the hero?! why did you have to be the fucking one to give up your soul?! why did you have to throw it away, EVERYTHING!" she screamed as she slammed her fists against his chest,
lexie knew he did it to save noah, but she would be lying if every night she didn't go to bed wishing someone else did it.
"i had to! noah could've died!" he shouted, lexie shook her head before giving up on fighting this battle with herself on her pride.
she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around miles, tightly and quickly, he felt himself jolt at the all too familiar, yet unfamiliar longing feeling of her skin against his, he stared down at her with his mouth slightly open as he slowly grabbed the back of her head.
"ive been lying to myself this whole time about the divorce" she gave up as she cried into his chest, her legs slowly becoming jelly.
"i know" he said, his fingers touching her soaking wet hair, his tattooed hand shaking as he felt her slowly sink to the ground.
"i feel like i'm dying when i love you miles, youre slowly killing me" she sobbed, he didn't let go of his hold on her, sliding down with her, grabbing her hair tightly as he hugged her.
he didn't know how he felt.
i miss the old me.
"i'd trade the world just to have you love me for five more minutes" she said as she grabbed his face, lexie just couldn't let go of him, she was so addicted.
this time, not to drugs.
to miles.
the drug she couldn't get enough of.
i love you.
—
TWO MONTHS EARLIER
—
lexie cried as she held her positive pregnancy test, violetta and amelia coming into the bathroom with noah to help her for moral support.
"do you know who the father is?" violetta asked with concern, lexie shook her head no while crying.
"did you use protection with any of them?" amelia asked,
"not miles and timmy" she honestly admitted as she shook her head, causing violetta, noah, and amelia to give each other looks.
"did they like... pull out?" violetta asked awkwardly,
"miles never did" lexie admitted once again,
"what the fuck?!" noah shouted at her answer, she shot her head up at him before she shouted back,
"i was married to him! why would he?!" lexie shouted back,
"yeah but why wouldn't he if you guys weren't together?!" he screamed, but lexie just buried her head in her hands as she started crying again, because she knew he was right.
and now she had to suffer the consequences of it.
and she had to make the biggest decision of them all, was she going to keep it?
—
miles stormed into the home, soaking wet from the rain as he ran up the stairs—-his head was pounding and he was beginning to get the chills, he needed something.
he walked into his room, going into his closet and looking for the shoebox from earlier.
but it was gone.
"motherfucker" he angrily said before storming out of his room, making sure to grab his gun as he went down the stairs, he saw everyone sitting at the table, discussing something, they all fell silent as they saw him.
he shot a glance up at lexie, who was also still soaking wet as she stood beside the table.
he shot his gaze away from her, ignoring the rest of them as he felt his gaze lock on timothees before he spoke,
"where is it?" he said through gritted teeth, everyone else furrowed their brows as they looked back and forth between the two with confusion,
"i'm sorry i don't know what you're talking about" timothee said with a sarcastic smirk,
"quit the games or i'll fucking kill you" miles said as he pulled out his gun, cocking it back, causing everyone to yell and jump up,
"miles!" amelia shouted as she stared at him with a look of horror,
however timothee remained seated, same smirk displayed on his face.
"i threw it out" timothee said, causing miles' whole face to fall as his gun fell to his side as he stared at timothee,
suddenly he lunged at timothee, grabbing him as they started fighting, everyone staring at them in horror as they started shouting.
"guys!" violetta screamed as she stared with wide eyes, watching them practically killing each other.
timothee quickly punched miles out of self defense, causing everyone to stare with wide eyes—-they never punched each other, until now.
miles turned his head to the side, spitting out a bit of blood before grabbing his gun and pistol whipping timothee,
"MILES!" lexie screamed loudly as she stared at the two, no one knew what they were even fighting about.
"they're going to fucking kill each other! someone do something!" noah shouted as he looked over to ethan and austin, knowing realistically they would be the only ones who could break them apart.
they both reached forward, trying to pull them apart, but miles quickly turned around before punching austin in the face,
"holy FUCK!" austin shouted in pain as he held his jaw while staring at miles,
"stop fighting!" ethan shouted as he managed to pull timothee away from miles, timothee breathed heavily before he spoke,
"you wanna talk about being stabbed in the back?!" he began while staring at miles, miles stared at him with a look of murder as he continued speaking
"...there's something you guys should know" timothee said, not bringing his eyes away from miles' eyes.
"don't you fucking dare—" miles lowly began,
"miles is addicted to heroin, he has been for the past month, he's been shooting up" timothee said, causing everyone to look at miles with wide eyes.
lexie felt a weight crush her body.
he's been...
what?
she looked over to miles with tears in her eyes as her mouth fell open, he stared back at her with a guilty look.
"h-how did it go from me to you?" she shakily said as a tear escaped her eye, she felt like someone close to her just died.
miles stared at lexie before turning to look at everyone else, who stared at him with shocked looks of sadness and concern—-he was short tempered, and withdrawing already.
"i'm going to fucking kill you!" miles screamed before he attempted to attack timothee once again, but ethan pushed away, which caused another fight.
between three people this time.
"miles stop!" lexie screamed before grabbing his arm, but he turned around and slammed lexie against the wall angrily before holding the gun to her head, the others in the room shouted loudly.
"i'll fucking kill you right now" he said while shaking his head as he breathed heavily.
lexie had never felt more fear in her life than that moment.
"don't touch her! she's pregnant, you wouldn't hurt a pregnant woman would you?!" violetta blurted out, miles' entire expression changed as his mouth fell open before he turned back to lexie with wide eyes.
timothee looked over to lexie with wide eyes as well,
the whole room fell silent as miles backed away from her slowly, pursing his lips together as he turned his head to the side,
"is it mine?" he angrily asked,
lexie shakily sucked a breath in as she stared at him with the same tears in her eyes from earlier,
but then she shifted her gaze towards timothee—-she already did the math...
"i... i think it's timothees baby" she said.
the whole room went silent.
timothee stared at lexie with wide eyes while shaking his head in disbelief,
"w-what?"
—
i got nun to say fr fr. mostly other than the fact that there was a deleted part in this of miles shooting up but i took it out bc it was too much and too hard to write.
WORD COUNT: 3929 <3