"Hey sleepyhead, it's time to get up." I feel a piece of my hair being moved across my face and I begin to wake up. I push my limbs away from me and do my morning stretch. A small yawn leaves my mouth. I finally open my eyes and a muscular figure stands beside me.
"What time is it?" I ask, sitting up in the bed. I go to mess with my hair and realize I don't have a beanie on. A few months ago I would have freaked out, but with Parsons, I'm not scared that I'm not wearing one.
"Almost two in the afternoon. I didn't want to wake you so I let you sleep in." A smile is plastered on his face and I can't help but smile back.
"I'll be out there in a minute." He nods and then walks out but I call his name, causing him to turn around. "Thank you, for last night." I say shyly. "I've never had someone other than my mom be there for me after a nightmare. It means a lot to me."
"Anytime, Beanie." He gives me that jaw-dropping smile again just before leaving the room.
I take a few minutes to compose myself, letting my thoughts run their course.
Did I really tell him about Dad?
At least he stayed around. That's a really good sign.
I thought I heard him call me 'baby' last night. I kind of liked how it sounded.
Does this mean I can tell him about what Dad did to me?
Let's put some space between all the stories.
He's such an amazing guy.
He is. He's everything I could want in a guy and more.
But do we deserve him?
I finally get out of bed and change. I put on some leggings and then one of Parson's sweatshirts that he gave me. I also see a pair of his socks laying across his bed so I take advantage of that and put them on. I know, that's a little weird but my feet are cold and my socks have mysteriously disappeared. At least I'm not one of those girls that steals underwear or smells all of their clothing; I just want my feet to be warm.
After changing, brushing my hair and teeth, and trying to look like I didn't cry last night, I finally join the group in the living room.
"Well look who's alive." Liv jokes. Everyone turns toward me, with different expressions all lining their faces. Liv has a playful look, telling me she thinks something spicy went down between me and Parsons. Ollie looks happy to see me. Cam glances between me and Parsons, keeping his pondering thoughts to himself. Parsons looks slightly worried but gives me a smile in reassurance. However, Elliott looks beyond worried. I only sleep in late when I have nightmares or when I get bad news.
"You hungry?" Cam asks. I nod. "We made some alfredo linguini with garlic bread. You can help yourself." I nod and with my arms folded across my chest, I walk to the kitchen. It takes me a minute, but I find a bowl and get myself a helping.
"Hey, you okay? You look like you cried all night." Elliott says as he enters the kitchen.
"I didn't cry all night. Just some of it." I joke but I quickly see his worry rise.
"Did you have another nightmare?" I don't respond, placing the pasta in the bowl and sitting at the dining table to eat. "Erin! Why didn't you tell me?"
"I would have if I could have moved. I woke up to Parsons shaking me awake and the moment I was conscious of myself being awake, I broke into tears."
Elliott sits down at the table in a chair close to me. "How did he react?"
"He didn't ask me anything. He just pulled me into a hug and comforted me. I almost had a panic attack but he kept me from loosing my breath. Then he asked if I was okay and before I knew it, I told him about that night."
"What all did you tell him?"
"Just how Dad became an alcoholic and killed himself." I see a look arise on his face, asking a question internally but not aloud. "No, I did not tell him about what Dad did to me. I wasn't ready for that."
"Okay." He pauses for a moment, digesting this information. When he gathers his thoughts, he pulls me in for a hug. "I am so sorry I wasn't there for you."
"It's okay, E. You couldn't have known." He doesn't respond and we stay hugging for a minute. When we pull away, I speak. "Now, let me finish my pasta." I joke and we both laugh.
As the day passed, it was calm. We watched Christmas movies, baked cookies and just relaxed. However, when the sun had set and it was time to exchange our Secret Santa gifts, that's when things started to get crazy.
"Where is the wrapping paper!?" I hear Ollie yell from inside his room.
"It's in there with you. You stole it five minutes ago!" Liv retorts from inside her room.
"Well it's not in here!" Ollie yells back. I chuckle at the twins from inside the living room. I wrapped my gift earlier to avoid this. Parsons had the same idea so here we are, sitting on the couch and laughing as our friends rush to finish their gifts.
"I'm glad at least two of us don't procrastinate until the last minute." Parsons jokes. We sit next to each on the couch. One of his arms rests on the edge of the couch and the other on the back, behind me. My legs sit crossed, slightly touching his. Neither of us seem to mind the closeness.
"My gift didn't take long to wrap. Well, the Secret Santa one, anyways." I admit.
"How many gifts did you get?"
"I got something for everyone. It felt rude to just get something for one person."
"I thought the same thing." He gives me a small smile and I can't help but return the gesture.
A couple minutes later, everyone has finally finished their gift wrapping and we're all sitting around the Christmas tree. We decided to do Secret Santa gifts first and then whatever is left afterwards.
"I'll go first." Ollie suggests. The eagerness drips off him like sweat as he reaches for a gift with his name on it from the Secret Santa pile. He shakes it a little at first before ripping the wrapping paper to shreds.
"Hey! That took ten minutes to wrap. You could be a little bit more careful." Liv says, ending her statement with a gruff.
The box opens and inside is a fake moustache. We all look at Liv, confused.
"It's his signature look for when he does stand-up comedy. Something that'll make you stand out, not that you need much help with that." She gives a joking tone and a small smile.
For a moment, Ollie doesn't say anything. Then, out of nowhere, he tackles his sister in a hug.
"Thank you. I love it." He says. Liv tries to push him off of her but his grip remains strong. She touches his side slightly and he jumps off of her.
One by one, we all open our gifts. Liv opened hers next and it was a keychain with a bird on it, from Elliott. E got a painting from Parsons that contains music notes. I've only seem one of Parsons' works of art, but I can tell he made the gift by hand. Parsons' gift was a new set of spray paint cans from Cam.
I was nervous that Cam wouldn't like my gift. I had found some of my dad's old soccer cards and decided to get rid of them a couple years back. I couldn't bring myself to get rid of them so I just put them away with the rest of his stuff. Now they'll, hopefully, be put to good use.
He slowly unwrapped the gift. The anticipation of his reaction was building within me and I just wished he would open the gift sooner.
Once the gift was unwrapped, Cam studied the cards.
"They were my dad's. Soccer was a secret sport that he loved. He collected those over the years and after he passed, I figured someone would enjoy them more than a box in my attic or a trash can would." I say. Cam stares at the cards a moment longer before looking up at me, the biggest smile on his face.
"I love these so much. Your dad had great taste in players. These are rare cards and happen to be some of my favorite players of all time." He keeps the smile on his face and I can't help but return it.
I look at the last gift in the pile: mine. I pick it up and stare at the box shape and size for a minute before unwrapping the present. I open the box and inside is a beanie. I flip it in my hands and smile at the embroidered game piece on part of the beanie, resembling the piece from Sorry. I give Ollie a hug and thank him before everyone agrees to open the remaining gifts.
I take this opportunity to step away to breathe. I get myself a glass of water and lean against the island, taking breaths.
"You okay, Beanie?" I recognize his voice immediately and turn to meet his green eyes.
"Yeah. I just keep thinking about my dad is all." He walks around the island and stands beside me. I fidget with my necklace and keep my eyes focused on something on the counter.
"Well try to focus on the good things." I sigh and close my eyes as I breathe. "Hey." He moves in front of me and grabs my hands with his. I feel his calloused hands slide over mine as his fingers interlock with mine. "It's going to be okay. I promise, love." He pulls me into a hug as his voice resonates through my ears like a symphony. It takes me a second to register the hug before I wrap my arms around his neck, breathing in his scent. And in this moment, I believe him. I believe everything will be okay, that I'll be okay.