"My feet are killing me!" Joel complained as soon as he entered the room of a five-star hotel near the airport in Melbourne.
Debora was distracted by what was about to come out of that night. She expected Joel - like any man in her past - to be eager to engage in sexual intercourse. But she was physically and mentally exhausted, had a headache, and her feet were also killing her. If she could choose for herself, she would go straight to bed.
"Did you hear me?" Joel reached out for her waist.
Only by his touch did she wake up to reality.
"Are you alright?" He was worried.
Debora welcomed his embrace and put her caring hand on his face. "I didn't hear you."
"Do you wanna go take a shower first?" he meant if she wanted to go ahead of him.
That question confirmed to her that he was willing to spend the night in a more romantic environment.
"Yeah!" she bluntly replied, afraid of turning him down right on the first night. "Would you mind going first?"
"Are you sure?" Joel reluctantly asked, failing to figure out his wife. "I'd be grateful," he sighed in relief. "Because my feet are killing me, and a shower would be so relieving..."
"Go ahead!" She encouraged him.
Before he walked into the bathroom, he looked into her eyes intently.
"By the way, you took my breath away when you walked down that aisle." He was tender and emotional, caressing her face firm and tenderly. "I felt so blessed that God chose someone like me for someone like you."
"You were beautiful too, Joe!" she replied, disguising her anxiety.
"I'm excited for tonight. I'm glad I waited. It was worth it." He was excited to spend the night next to the woman he loved, he wasn't necessarily talking about sex, but the way he approached and kissed her convinced Debora otherwise.
"Me too." She was going through the bad habit of her former relationships, keeping her true feelings and fears to herself to avoid upsetting her partner.
When Joel finally disappeared into the bathroom and closed the door, Debora sat on the bed. Her dress felt so uncomfortable, but she didn't plan on removing it. It was her first time with Joel, but not her first time, then why was she so nervous? On previous occasions, Debora had sexual experiences that hadn't met her expectations. She hoped for things to be different with Joel, but what if she was mistaken, as she was about Adam? Maybe it would be better to postpone intimacy with her now-husband and, probably, another disappointment. Especially now that she was married, the frustration could weigh even more.
She heard the bathroom door unlocking and nervousness overcame her. Standing up quickly, Debora walked to the bathroom. She rushed past Joel and locked the door behind her.
"Okay..." He murmured, fastening the belt of his bathrobe.
Something was wrong with her, and he would wait patiently for her to return and communicate.
He yawned and sat on the bed. He grabbed his Bible and read it. After a moment, he wasn't managing to keep his focus, how tired he was! He put the sacred book on his bedside table and stood up. He walked to the window, enjoying the night-sky. He thought he had made enough time and walked back in, his wife was still in the bathroom.
He crawled back to bed, set an alarm, and rested his head on a pillow, quickly falling asleep. Fifteen minutes later, the alarm resounded and he woke up. He looked around, but his wife wasn't there. He kept the focus and stayed awake. Finally, he saw the reward of his patience. Debora walked into the bedroom in her bathrobe.
"Debora?" He walked up to her.
"I thought you were asleep..." it surprised her to see him awake.
"I woke up minutes ago though." He replied.
"Oh," she leaned against the wall. "Sorry to keep you waiting... uh...It took me ages to be done with my hair." She excused herself.
"Are you afraid of something?" Joel asked her, reading her non-verbal language accurately.
"Hmm" she hesitated. "No, just tired."
"Alright," he knew she wasn't completely honest, but he didn't insist. "We do need a good rest." He walked toward her. "But I'm gonna head out to the balcony for a while." And he walked to the balcony.
There was nothing left to say, so Debora just observed him leave, and crawled into bed, feeling more nervous and energized than tired. She could see Joel through the window. To see him lonely made her feel guilty. So she took a deep breath, left the bed and met him outside.
"Joel..." she tried to call for his attention.
He looked back. "I thought you were asleep."
"I couldn't sleep knowing that you're upset with me," she confessed.
He didn't have anything to say, so he remained silent, staring at the night sky.
"I'm not upset." He finally spoke.
"Didn't you expect a different outcome from tonight?" Debora hesitantly questioned.
"Uh... different than now, yeah! For sure." He admitted. "Is there something wrong, did I do something?" Joel turned his face toward her.
"I'm afraid of..." she tried, but her confession proved to be harder than she thought. "Disappointment."
"What do you mean?"Joel slid his hands into the pockets of his bathrobe.
"Well," she replied taking a deep breath. "This is our first night together." She was nervous, trying to control her breath. "You are a male, and you must be eager to be intimate." She didn't have the courage to look at him. "But, I'm exhausted." She confessed. "All the anticipation and preparations for our wedding have taken a toll on me and," she took a deep breath. "I just wanna sleep it off. But at the same time, I don't wanna ruin the night for you!"
"I don't follow. How does that lead to disappointment?" He just wanted to clarify the questions and doubts that rose in his mind.
"I had terrible sexual experiences, where I was taken advantage of rather than the opposite." She explained. "And the truth is - whether I like it or not - I have certain expectations of you too, and I don't want to be disappointed, especially because we've made a commitment for life, and there's no turning back if that doesn't work."
He walked closer to her. "But we can communicate. That has always been one of the best things about us."
Debora was going back to the old pattern of her former relationships; assuming, instead of sharing her thoughts, even though she knew it was safe to share anything with Joel.
He enveloped her in his arms. They were silent for a moment.
"For the record: I'm exhausted too," Joel explained. "But I did want to talk to you, that is one of the things I love the most about us. We empathize so well with each other..." He smiled, understanding how ridiculous the whole situation now was. "I don't wanna push any buttons. I want things to happen naturally. So I wasn't expecting today to be the night anyway." He wanted to make that clear.
"Please forgive me, Joel," she pleaded.
He put his arms around her, still looking in her face. "I also have my sexual demons."
"What do you mean?"
"Like how am I going to compete against those guys of your past," he spoke in an amusing tone.
"Joel, you have a lot going for you," she encouraged him, resting assured that he would treat her differently. "The other guys were awful. I have faith in you." She smiled.
They embraced each other, relieved that the truth was out.
"You truly have faith in me?" he needed her assurance.
"I believe you're gonna treat me well."
He smiled. Even though he was a virgin, he wasn't at all unaware of the process. Besides, he was reading a good book about it and was committed to treating his wife more than well. He wanted a good marriage in every aspect of it.
"We should go to sleep, we have a long flight tomorrow," Joel suggested.
"You don't want to..." Debora motioned with her head as if persuading him to do something other than sleeping.
"I think it would be wise for us to sleep," he warned.
They climbed onto the bed and lied down meaning to sleep all through the night. Joel turned off the light and the full moon irradiated into their room, through the window. He loved physical contact, so he pulled his wife to him and they spooned, by then it was evident that they were eager to spend that night together as husband and wife. Debora turned her face to him, and they kissed and embraced each other passionately.
"We should really get some sleep." Joel was completely dazed by her.
Debora giggled, also fully focused on him. "It doesn't look like you want to sleep..."
"It's not a secret that I'm in love with you, that I'm attracted to you, and that I wanna be one with you," he held his head on his hand.
"I can tell!" she smirked. "I guess, we are exactly on the same page."
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Debora woke up the next day, warm and cozy under the covers and in Joel's kind embrace. She thought he was asleep, but she was wrong.
"Hey there, wife!" He greeted her, kissing her on her forehead. "How are you?"
"Great." She held his arm tightly, feeling loved up. "Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah, I did," his voice was quite hoarse.
"What time is it?" Debora yawned and stretched out.
"Nearly eight," he replied looking at his wristwatch. "We still have time." He was rested. "I'm excited to meet your family in Portugal."
"We'll be there in more than a few hours!" Debora giggled. "You're gonna love the Douro Vinhateiro in the north of Portugal. UNESCO World Heritage! A must-visit!"
"I'm excited to visit Portugal. That country has such an interesting Jewish heritage. There is this place called Belmonte in the center of the land that has a very traditional Jewish heritage still to this day. They even have a synagogue."
"If they are that traditional they might not allow my entrance in their synagogue."
"I don't know." he snuggled Debora between his arms. "We should get up for breakfast! I wanna eat properly."
"To keep your muscles?" She tried to tease him.
"Don't mock my skinny self..." he had a smile on his face.
"I thought you'd be skin and bone and I was fine with that, but you do have nice abs. You're very manly! Very desirable!" she was suddenly energized talking about him like that. "Virile."
He laughed. "Why would you say that?"
She rolled her eyes playfully.
"Tell me: how am I supposed to resist a woman like you?" he was earnest.
She turned around to him, completely vulnerable to his hands.
"I hope you never cease to resist me." She was serious and deep.
He caressed her face and gave her a slight smile. "I love you so much!" he was very earnest and intense in his words and gaze. "That will never change."
"Oh, Joel!" she felt small with all his love. "I love you too!"
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THE END
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