Author's Note: Not betaed so all mistakes are mine. This is my first time writing smut and posting it, so bear with me, and as always; all GIFs are from Google. This is a long chapter, so strap in!
Content Warning: a bit awkward mutual pining, smut, pregnancy
Word Count: 3.8k
Chapter 6: All My Love
"I have the best news!"
"Really," you say very unenthusiastically, trying to find some semblance of happiness.
"Will and I talked and we decided next week we're going to have a small courthouse wedding," she says, beaming as she embraces you in a brief hug.
"That's amazing, I'm glad you guys decided to get married. We can talk about all the details later. I'm just not feeling too hot," you say, genuinely happy for her, but your unfinished conversation with Spencer is still weighing on your mind.
"Of course, of course. I don't want to hold you up, Spencer's probably waiting for you in his car, I saw him walking out the door. I hope he's okay, he seemed a bit stressed. Anyway, thank you for everything and go home relax, you deserve it," she says, giving you one last hug.
You sign the discharge papers and quickly make your way out. It didn't take long to spot Spencer's vintage Volvo. You assume even if he's frustrated with you there's no way he'd leave you here without a ride home. Especially since he was so concerned with your well-being earlier. Reluctantly, you make your way around the car, and to avoid startling him you tap on the window twice with your knuckles. You see him shift to unlock the door.
The silence as you get in increases any awkwardness tenfold. When he shifts his attention from the blank stare he had while looking at the dash of his car to you, you think he's going to pick up the conversation from earlier. He opens his mouth then closes it once again.
"Do you need to drop off any prescriptions," he says, looking back down at his steering wheel.
"Uh no, the doctor just said I can take any acetaminophen if I need to," you say, very on edge by this sudden mood switch. It's what Spencer does when he has too many pent-up emotions. He pretends nothing is happening or that he's unbothered, but in reality, he is just very quiet and when he answers you back it's just slightly passive-aggressive, short answers.
That's exactly what he did. He just hummed at you as he turned the key in the car's ignition. There's nothing else you can do but look out the window, staring at the autumn leaves. It's hard to believe that it's already October. The time flying by is one of the many things you thought about the entire car ride home. How you've yet to tell your family back in Pennsylvania, what you're going to say to Spencer, JJ and Will's sudden wedding plans, and food are some of the other thoughts swirling about in your mind. Your stomach aches and you realize you haven't eaten since breakfast, and it is now nearing five pm.
-
The awkward car ride turned into an awkward walk up to the apartment. When Spencer opened the door he walked into his room and shut his door promptly behind him. What you couldn't see was him sitting on the bed feeling defeated. Tears roll down his face while he sits with his head in his hands. He wants to tell you how it hurts for you to go to another bed every night. Sometimes he can hear you shuffle around in your room, crying and feeling lonely. He wants to hold you and tell you everything is okay, that he's here for you through thick and thin. There's just a small voice in the back of his head, that is derived from all of his insecurities, telling him that you don't feel the same or that you'll reject him, make a laughingstock out of him. Just like how girls used to torment him in high school. This little voice of doubt is also living in the back of your brain.
You both are making each other miserable by dancing around the truth that you both know. Every look, every stolen glance, and every touch that lingers a bit too long to be platonic. It was obvious and everything the both of you pushed down for so long is bubbling to the top, but that simmer just sits dormant because you both try and quell the fire.
Spencer lays back on his bed and picks up a book from his nightstand, trying to ignore the movement he can hear from you in the kitchen. You pour yourself cereal, you're too tired to actually make anything and cereal seemed like the only thing your stomach that was in knots could take. After eating and giving yourself a breather you had the intention of just going to your room, but your brain overrode your initial decision, and you ended up in Spencer's instead. You must've startled him because he sets his book down, speechless, waiting for you to say something. You honestly don't know what to say either as he stands up and hugs you tight. All you can do is hold him right back before letting tears slowly fall. You both said so much without even saying a word. You want to be the one who speaks up first, and you want to reassure him and tell him what you're feeling exactly. No more getting tongue-tied this time.
"Spencer?" He just hums back in response.
"I've known this for a long time, but I didn't want to push anything on you especially since you've opened your home to me. It's not just me, but also a baby. I didn't want you to feel obligated to take care of me. I love you so much, and I felt like admitting that would ruin us. I'm sorry I left you hanging back at the hospital and I want to try and make this work if you're up for it," you say with your face buried into the soft cotton of his cardigan. He pulls you two apart but still keeps you close by holding loosely onto your biceps.
He gives you those puppy dog eyes you ended up falling in love with. You can see tears slipping down his cheeks and his lip starts to quiver. His hands slip to your forearms then down to your hands. He furrows his brow and licks his bottom lip in thought.
"You're never a bother to me. I never felt obligated, I wanted you to live here. I'm sorry for snapping. I was just scared that I was going to lose you because I love you so much," he spits out. You both look at each other, slowly leaning in. Your lips collide and melt together in perfect sync.
He backs you up until the back of your calves touches his soft bed. He then helps you lay softly in the middle of his bed, you're able to scoot up enough to where you can comfortably lay down. He crawls over your body, taking his time to fully worship you.
When your faces are only inches apart he leans back down, taking in every detail of your face before kissing you deeply. Your tongues dance together as he cradles your face with his left hand, his right props him up. He pulls away, his thumb now slightly stoking your cheekbone.
"Do you want to do this?" He says, looking at you as if you're the most precious thing in the whole world. You give him a breathy yes before he sits up and slowly pulls down your jeans and underwear, you lift your hips to help him. You sit up, and you push off his cardigan, and then you start to unbutton his shirt. After you push that off he pulls your shirt off.
You lay back down and when your head hits the pillow Spencer dives back down to kiss you. As he kisses you, his hand slips down to the small bump on your stomach, and he cradles it before moving down to your core. His middle and ring finger slowly work your clit in small circles.
"Is this okay?"
"Perfect," you say, your toes curl slightly, and you wiggle under his touch. He speeds up a bit and repeats the same circular motion until you hit your first climax. While basking in the ecstasy that you both were enjoying you reach up to bring his face down for a kiss.
He gives you a minute to ride the high you were just on before his left-hand moves to unfasten his belt buckle. The clank makes you aware of your surroundings and once again you're able to look into his eyes and feel at home. He checks with you once more to make sure you're comfortable, when you desperately tell him yes, verbally and physically, he leans in to kiss you once more.
He shoves his pants, underwear, and socks all off in one go while you unclip your bra. He hovers back over you, unsure of himself.
"Spence, please," you tell him, wrapping your legs around his waist, begging for more. He grabs his dick before he gently pushes into you. The two of you groan at the intimacy you both are experiencing with each other.
The entire rest of the night you two spent entangled in each other, saying barely anything, just letting your body language show all the love and adoration the two of you have for each other. When you were both spent, he ran to the bathroom to clean you up with a washcloth quickly.
You spent that time panting, now on your left side, staring out his bedroom window looking at the beautiful view he has. You feel the bed dip next to you, and he sets his hand lightly on your right shoulder.
"Hey, are you okay?" He asks, patiently waiting for you to roll back over. You look over and see Spencer looking at you with puppy dog eyes, propped up on his forearm. You turn your body over to face him.
"Yeah, I'm good, great actually," you tell him, reaching your hand up to cup his face. You share the tender moment together. Wrapped up in ecstasy, he helps you get cleaned up before coming back to the bed and holding you in his arms. He spoons you from the back, letting you fall asleep to his warmth and that beautiful view once again.
-
You wake up to your phone going off from the living room. You untangle yourself from Spencer before pulling his button-up over yourself and padding out into the living room.
You come to find out that Rossi also heard about JJ and Will's engagement. He asked you a couple of questions, so he could help put everything together in one today. He also asked you to get JJ's mom and a plus one for her from the airport and help her to get a hotel room. Immediately after you hang up, you get a call from JJ's mom and you can hear a voice you've been dreading in the background. When your mom's voice comes through on the speaker saying that she's coming with JJ's mom you want to pass out. Mostly because she doesn't know you're pregnant, she also doesn't know that you don't live with Jo any more, and mostly she doesn't know about you and Spencer... well no one really does yet, but it'll be a bit more of a shock to her.
-
You quickly get ready just by fixing your hair a bit until it looks nice and pulling on a hoodie along with leggings and a pair of vans. You wake Spencer up and tell him to call Rossi and get the plans for the day before saying bye.
You then speed off to the airport, and you decide to bring along your ultrasound photo. Knowing your mom she would want to know asap and you think if you tell JJ's mom and your mom at the same time over lunch it'll soften the blow quite a bit.
When you pick them up they're all smiles, and you hug them but with a bit of distance. Once they load into the car you help them into their hotel rooms and then you three go off to lunch. When you both arrive you tell them that there's something important you need to talk about. You're nervous because you're an only child and your dad went off to make a brand-new family when you were eighteen, so neither of you talks much anymore, but you decide to just go ahead and spit it out.
"Mom, Sandy please don't freak out, but I wanted to let you know I'm pregnant," you say, taking the ultrasound picture out of your purse, sliding it across the table. They both look at you before your mom's eyes start to water, and she stands up and gives you a big hug. JJ's mom is not far behind.
After you settle down back at the table your mom pats her eyes dry.
"How far along are you?," your mom asked with her hands clasped under her chin.
"I'm fourteen weeks now," you said, relieved that she was very relaxed about everything.
"So is Jo going to be at the wedding," Sandy says with a big smile. Your Mom knew that you and Jo were practically broken up, but she doesn't know that you both officially split.
"Well um, about that Jo and I haven't been together for about two months. I'm actually living with Spencer right now," you say looking down at your hands. She just gives a silent oh before looking over to your mom who wasn't surprised, but she was wearing a suspicious look on her face.
-
The rest of the day went very smoothly. You dropped your mom and JJ's mom off back to their hotel, and you helped everyone else get the venue ready. Everybody was working like a well oiled machine, only if the baby also got with the program. You spent the entire day of errands nauseous, which in turn made Spencer a bit less on track. He was constantly debating whether you were overworking yourself or not. Neither of you really talked about the previous night, you both were more focused on JJ's big day.
It wasn't until you both went back to the apartment to get ready for the wedding, that you both talked about last night.
"So, uh, I wanted to say sorry for last night. Sometimes I direct frustrations about situations I can't control at the wrong people. I shouldn't have told you that you were wrong. I should've just been there for you," he says while he kicks off his shoes and sits on the couch next to you.
"It's all okay Spence. Your heart was in the right place, plus you kind of made up for it when we got back," you say with a grin on your face. His face starts to blush, and he gives a nod and a slight yeah in agreement. He hides the big grin on his face before trying to get more serious.
"Where does that leave us now though?" he asks, his giggly mood slipping away as a much more somber tone takes over.
"I want to be with you. The feelings aren't new, and it's not impulsive. I love you, Spence."
"I love you too," he says, giving your forehead a small kiss.
-
You help walk JJ down the aisle. She glances at you in her mother's wedding dress, giving you a bright smile. You smile at her back as you two approach Will. After the brief interaction was over you sat in your seat in the front row next to Spencer. He laces his fingers into yours before giving your hand a light squeeze. While you were walking down the aisle with JJ you noticed someone you've never seen before sitting right next to Emily. She looked very familiar, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it.
The reception afterward was just as beautiful as the ceremony itself. As everyone caught up with one another, you talked about the events of yesterday and today. When everyone was getting settled into their seats Emily and that woman from before walked over to you and Spencer.
"So, guys this is my girlfriend Fiona, Fiona this is Spencer and (y/n)" she says, gesturing to the woman you just realized as the brown-haired woman she was on a date with a few weeks back.
"Hi, I'm Fiona Duncan," she says, reaching her hand out for you to shake then doing the same to Spencer.
"How did you two meet?," you say after the four of you take a seat at a table.
"Well, we actually met in Italy when we were young. Her mom was Chargé D'affaires at the embassy there and my dad was in the foreign service," Fiona says with a big smile on her face.
-
After a bit JJ and Will had their first dance everyone else joined in on the dance floor. You stuck your hand out to Spencer. He was able to quickly fall into line and dance with you. He held you close on the dance floor. While he held you gently, you had missed Morgan and Garcia's glances towards the two of you. When Spencer puts his hand up to your face and leans into you, he kisses you tenderly, during which Garcia's jaw drops more and more. Morgan even crinkles his brows and tilts his head at the two of you.
Eventually, you cut in between Will and JJ. You danced with her and asked her about how excited she is to get married. You haven't seen her so ha[[y in so long. That's why you've always looked up to her. She is so successful in her career that she adores and manages to balance home life with the man she loves and her son. She thanked you once again for saving Will, and she asked why Spencer seemed so upset while leaving the hospital. You caught her up on why he was upset, before telling her that you two are now dating. She mumbled something about a bet right before Morgan cuts in and asks you to dance.
"So you and pretty Ricky..." He trails off while glancing over towards the brunette he was talking about, who was now dancing with Garcia. Who was also most likely interrogating him.
"Yeah," you say, following his eyesight.
"I'm happy for you two, but now I owe Garcia fifty bucks. She made a bet that you two would be together by the end of the month," he says, giving you a hearty chuckle.
"Did all the BAU put a bet on us?"
"Yeah pretty much, everyone knew it was bound to happen one way or another," he says laughing at you being stunned.
The two of you chatted a bit more. You talked about the baby, the traumatic events of yesterday, a summary of what happened between you and Spencer, and a bit more. You ended up going back around to Spencer by the end of the night.
The venue was rented until eleven and the two of you were tired right around that time. Before getting ready to leave, you talk to your mom, and she says she wants to catch lunch with you before she and JJ's mom have a flight to catch in the afternoon. You guys said your quick goodbyes before hopping back into your car and going home.
-
"I love you, Spence," you say looking over your shoulder. The two of you are in the same position as the night before, you're looking at the view from laying on your left side.
"I love you more," he says, grasping your hand, that's laying on your stomach, a bit tighter.
-
When you wake up in the morning Spencer is already up and reading out in the living room. You let him know that you're running a bit late for lunch with your mom, and you'll be back later.
You rush to lunch with your mom, and you try to relax. Sometimes talking to her can be daunting. She was always hard on you, especially after your dad had left. She stood to meet you, giving you a quick hug before sitting back down. The waitress came by and asked for your drink order before retreating to the kitchen to grab them.
"I'm glad to see you with Spencer," she says, setting the menu down and looking at you.
"Wait, what," you say, playing coy because you weren't sure if she'd support you moving on quickly.
"You and I both know I've never been a fan of Jo. With the few times I've been around Spencer I've seen him treat you a million times better. I saw the two of you last night and I think he's perfect for you," she says, her eyes starting to water quite a bit.
"I've wanted to tell you for a long time you deserve so much better than to settle. I've definitely learned the type of man I deserve, and I'd like you to meet him at Thanksgiving this year," she says with a big smile all you can do is stutter trying to get a hold of your words.
"I know, I know it's a lot to take in. I'm not asking you to call him dad or anything. I just want you to support my happiness as I support yours," your mom says with a heavy heart. While you two are trying to gauge each other's emotions your waitress drops off your drinks and takes your food orders.
"Of course, of course. Thanks for everything mom really and I'll definitely be back home for Thanksgiving, rain or shine. I'll ask Spencer too if he has any plans," you say, trying to take in all the information that was just given to you.
"Yes, he's always welcome."
"Great, I just have a quick question. Do you think I should tell dad you know, about the baby?," you ask her.
"Sweetheart," she says with a pause. She then reaches out across the table for your hands.
"That is completely up to you. If you want to get in contact with him, you can. He's still your dad after all."
"Okay, thanks mom," you respond, contemplating if you will actually speak to him or not. It wouldn't be hard to find him. You just have to ask Garcia to work a little bit of her magic.
The two of you try to move on from such a heavy topic and on to other matters. She asks you about you and Spencer's plans like whether you'll stay in the apartment or not. You two continue talking while eating before she has to leave for her flight. You give her a big hug and tell her you'll get a hold of her soon for Thanksgiving plans. Which is in about five weeks and that gives you a lot of time to think.