Grace's POV
"Hey princess" I turned around and looked at Ellie "you can't keep calling me that, especially when I'm with Camila and not you"
"Do you prefer I say it privately between me and you, mi amor?" She asked, resting her hand on the wall while facing me, her body a few feet away from me.
"I don't want you to call me anything" I said, wanting her to stop. She smiled and stepped closer to me "well then, apparently you're my everything now" she said making me roll my eyes knowing she did it to make me mad or annoyed.
I wanted to walk away but she held my arm and pulled me closer to her, making her body touch mine as she looked down at me "I know you like it when I call you princess.." she let go of my arm but i stayed close to her, her hand made it's way to my cheek rubbing it softly "..or mi amor, I know you like it" she said putting some hair behind my ear.
"I don't like it" I said quietly, not believing my own words. She laughed "you do like it" she said, I shook my head "I don't-" I felt her lips on mine catching me by surprise.
I pulled back when I remembered what I told Camila "you can't kiss me, i told you" I said. She laughed and wanted to say something but didn't when she looked down at my hands "why are you shaking?"
"Because I don't want to break up with Camila or hurt her again. Shaking and nervousness is the first reaction my body has to anything that happens to me" I said pulling my hand back when she held it.
It was an excuse to the fact that I was scared, not that Camila did anything bad to me, she's perfect but I'm scared that at some point she'll lose it with me and start doing bad things like hitting me..like my first and only boyfriend did, that's why I was never the type to do relationship or have sex with anyone.
I just stayed alone because I was better off like that but not without friends, I really wanted friends but I couldn't make any because some of them either find me weird or heard a rumor Ellie said about me.
When my first boyfriend, Chris took my virginity everything changed with him. First he was so sweet and nice then suddenly switched up on me when I didn't do his homework or didn't give him the answers in an exam, it felt like he was using me for grades.
I kept coming back to him because he was my only friend or the only person that ever talked to me but then I just stopped seeing him, tried to avoid him as much as I can but I didn't break up with him yet.
He realized what I was doing and the moment he got to have an alone moment with me, I got hit. He slapped me and I will never forget that.
His apologies, kisses and flowers still didn't make me feel better because I know his apologies weren't genuine, his kisses didn't make me feel like it used to make me feel which is loved, they were just full of aggressiveness the type to lead to sex right after which I don't like but I refused to have sex with him after he took my virginity.
I broke up with him, finally but I was alone yet again.
"Listen I'm sorry, just calm down" she said putting her hand on my shoulder and pulling me closer to her, I wanted to pull back but I really felt like I needed a hug.
I wrapped my arms around her waist, seeing her a little surprised that i hugged her but she hugged back after a bit, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me closer to her.
"Do you think Camila will still like me if she knows I'm like this?" I asked, feeling a few tears run down my cheek and getting on her shirt.
"What do you mean like this?" She said laughing, pulling me back from the hug and cupping my face "there is absolutely nothing wrong with you..." she took a deep breathe and looked around trying to avoid eye contact "...of course she likes you, if she does ever have a problem with you being like this as you say then she's not the one"
"What if she just wants me for sex and so I can help her with her grades?" I asked, she laughed and pulled my face closer to hers "we're all in NYU studying to be doctors or things like this, I'm pretty sure she had to study well to get here and sex..well if she just wants sex then leave her before anything begins to be serious"
"But you had sex with me and you didn't want to do anything with me again like go on a date or something" I said, her smile died "that's different. You knew we weren't going anywhere after having sex, it was just a one time thing with two people that don't even have..feelings for each other" she said the last part in a less confident tone while looking down.
I smiled weakly and nodded "okay thank you" I said wanting to walk away but she stopped me "you're an amazing woman Grace.." I turned around and looked at her "..anyone would love to be with you so don't worry about Camila, if she leaves then fuck her..you'll find someone so much better than her"